Chapter 36
Peering through the curtain gap, Eddy was treated to a birds eye view of the entire auditorium. The school auditorium was filled with an abundance of seats, around 800, which were arranged in rows in front of the stage. Each row progressing toward the rear of the auditorium was slightly higher than the rest, in an effort to facilitate unobstructed views. The seats were covered with red padding, and were of the fold up variety, not unlike those that could be found in a movie theater.
The auditorium ceiling was around forty feet high. Suspended from the ceiling were several three bladed steel industrial ceiling fans, spinning slowly to direct the heated air coming from the four large circular diffusers down to the patrons. The right wall of the auditorium was lined with five large double hung windows, all of which were closed to keep the cold air out.
The entrance doors were located on the left wall of the auditorium. There were three sets of doors, and patrons eager to watch tonight's performance were flooding in at an alarming rate. Even though it would be twenty minutes before the lights dimmed, signaling the curtain to open for the first act, the auditorium was already quite full.
Rolf had taken a seat almost directly in the middle of the room. The eccentric boy had decided to once again don a suit and tie for the occasion; however unlike Eddy's eyesore of a suit provided to Rolf in the school bathroom, this particular set of garments looked quite distinguished. It consisted of a blue jacket, blue pants, black shoes, and a matching blue tie. In addition, Rolf had decided to slick his hair back, using gel provided by Eddy a few days prior. He sat still, cradling a large, didgeridoo-like object between his legs as he smiled.
It did not take long for Kevin, arriving with his girlfriend Nazz, to locate Rolf. Kevin was dressed in his typical winter attire; a thick orange hoodie, blue jeans, brown boots, and of course his signature red baseball cap. Nazz decided to wear a purple winter coat with imitation white fur trim around the wrists, a pink scarf, and mauve gloves. She cradled a black purse in her right hand as she walked directly beside Kevin down the auditorium aisle.
Upon reaching Rolf's row, Kevin and Nazz made their way towards Rolf's position.
"Yo Rolf!" said Kevin as he took a seat directly next to his friend, with Nazz taking a seat next to Kevin, "What's with the monkey suit? It's only a school talent show dude, not the great opera."
"Do you not like?" asked Rolf, "Rolf has been doing much reading on this countries bizarre rituals of courtship. Rolf has read that to attract the attention of the female, the male must dress themselves up in these strange garments that make Rolf's neck feel as though it is being rung as Nana does with the chickens."
"Let me guess," said Kevin, "You're still trying to impress that Lindsay girl?"
"Boy Kevin," said Rolf rather melodramatically, "You do not know how much Rolf's heart yearns for Lizzy. Since the first day Rolf had laid eyes on the beautiful woman with the hair as lovely as the daisies that mama keeps in the backyard, Rolf has wanted nothing more than to kiss her under the Yaks membrane over the feast."
"Right," said Kevin sarcastically, "I probably am an idiot for even asking, but what the hell is that thing between your legs."
"Hoho," said Rolf as he lifted the tube up with both of his hands, "It is the Horn of Support. In Rolf's home country, it is customary after a loved ones performance to blow the horn to let them know that they have done a great job. My beautiful Schmetlockin likes to embrace the cultures of the foreign, and Rolf will use this to show his support after her performance."
Rolf moved the end of the tube toward his mouth.
"Observe," said Rolf at which point he touched the instrument to his lips, and blew as hard as he could. The result was a deafening, obnoxious noise, an ugly sound that sounded quite similar to flatulence. As soon as Rolf sounded the instrument, Kevin covered his ears as did Nazz and many other students within the vicinity. Every individual in the auditorium was quite surprised at the display and turned their attention toward Rolf with an angry stare.
After blowing for five seconds, Rolf removed the horn from his mouth and placed it back between his legs with a smile, leaving everyone in the auditorium staring in his direction with confusion. After a few seconds, everyone returned to their ordinary business of finding their seats and mingling with friends. Rolf looked towards Kevin.
"Rolf does not lie yes," said Kevin.
"Whatever dude, knock yourself out." said Kevin as he reached under his seat to retrieve a black case he had brought with him, "All's I know is I finally got the perfect opportunity to put this baby to use."
Kevin unzipped the black case and removed a silver digital video camera. He removed the lens cap and glanced through the lens, attempting to secure a perfect view of the stage.
"This baby's got all the bells and whistles and editing software to boot," said Kevin, "I'll be sure to get Dorkie's good side when he takes the stage. This will be the perfect payback for his little video of my season ending interception last fall."
As the two boys shared a laugh, Nazz seemed less than amused. She sat resting her cheek on the palm of her hand, as her elbow rested on one of the chairs armrests, with an annoyed expression on her face.
"Boys..." said Nazz sarcastically as she continued staring towards the stage.
Nazz was quickly broken out of her trance by the sound of a familiar voice.
"Hiya Nazz!" said Jonny as he took a seat directly next to the blonde girl, "You excited for the talent show? Plank and I surely are!"
"Oh hey Jonny!" said Nazz, "It should be fun! I just won't be able to stomach what Lindsay did to the cheer squad."
"Yeah, she is a spoil sport!" said Jonny in his typical exuberant manner.
Jonny glanced around Nazz to obtain sight of Kevin and Rolf. Once ensuring that the duo was distracted, laughing at Eddy's expense, he leaned towards Nazz.
"So HH," said Jonny, adapting his superhero persona, "The melon code recognizes that family comes first, and accepts assisting in charitable donations at the brotherhood of police officers with your family in the city as a valid excuse for your absence from patrol last night."
Jonny paused briefly.
"However," said Jonny, "I do have an interesting update regarding that case we have been following that I was unable to inform you of until now."
"Really?" asked Nazz, "Please share!"
"Well it just so happens that our intuitions may in fact be correct," said Jonny, "The other day, I turned the hallway corner, and caught Eddy carrying some pictures of Lindsay. He was looking all around like he was afraid of being caught, so I used my melon scope to zoom in on the pictures, and they were signed "For you my Love -Lindsay"
The display Jonny saw was, in fact, part of Eddy's desperate attempt at Lindsay deterrence. He had stolen the photographs out of a teenage fashion magazine, blown them up, printed them out, and attempted to forge a message to Rolf from Lindsay. Jonny had caught Eddy in one of his final acts pertaining to his abandoned plan; transporting the pictures and placing them in Rolf's locker.
"Oh my God," said Nazz as she placed her hand over her mouth, "I can't believe it."
"You know we do have to take appropriate action to ensure that no good citizens feelings are hurt." said Nazz.
"I know," said Nazz in a melancholy tone as she grabbed her forehead with her hand, "All this negativity is giving me a headache. How about we enjoy the talent show tonight, and figure out how to break the bad news to Lee tomorrow night."
"Understood, HH," said Jonny, "For if there be a..."
"Jonny, that means canning the whole superhero thing for the night too." said Nazz.
"Gotcha," said Jonny as he winked and held of the "OK" sign with his right hand.
A few seconds passed, after which Jonny decided to pose another question.
"Hey, where's Julia at?" asked Jonny, "I thought she and your mom were coming tonight too."
"They're here," said Nazz, "They're out trying to find a parking space, I told them I'd save them two seats."
"See buddy!" said Jonny as he glanced at his wooden friend, "I told ya she'd be here. Planks got a ton of new jokes her wants to tell, and he knows that Julia is definitely his biggest fan!"
Nazz sighed heavily as she placed her palm over her face, slid it down slowly past her chin, and sunk down into her seat.