A/N: Well, it's an angsty chapter. Get the most annoyingly upbeat song prepared once you're done reading this (don't take my example. I listened to When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne and resulted in crying. I am too emotional for my own good). Right, time to get on with review replies:
SUFFERINGLOSTSOUL: hee hee, sorry. If I can find any pictures, I'll see if I can send some. You're mean to Cloud! But oh well, at least you feel nice to Leon, which means Cloud lives. Can you blame him for being scared of the overgrown snakes? I'd be screaming my head off and trying to get away if it were me.
Smouse: (offers a tissue) well you can if you want. I won't stop you.
Ally Montgomery: All in good time will it all be solved. But until then, rejoice in the knowledge that Cloud's gonna get his happy ending!
Following Padfoot's Pawprints: Little lady, you have made my day! Dualism is someone I really admire and wish I could be at the same level as her. Saying that I have the same level of talent makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Thanks so much for it!
Erinicole12: Agree on all parts. I made people cry with happiness! I have done a bloody good job that means haha.
Zakell: You're welcome and happy hunting lol
Launch shinra: Don't worry about it. Knowing Zack, he's probably got a trick up his sleeve (and it also leaves me room to do a very special scene that I had planned while I was in Italy) And hey, don't worry about it. People think I'm younger than my age. Must be because I take good care of myself or act so...naive for lack of a better word (though I'm not if I'm writing yaoi lemons (evil cackle)) But yeah, I feel happy knowing that there's someone in the community who'll know what I'm talking about once I'll (probably) start ranting about ucas and point tariffs and whatnot at some point. (accepts cookies)
Colonel Roxas-chan: Emotional roller-coaster ride or what?
Nathali: I think a lot of people are. And if you thought last chapter was angsty, wait till you read this.
phaz: (offers more tissues) Cloud's knack of managing to survive miraculously kicks in once again (seriously, the guy could've died about three times, possibly more, during FF7 and that's not including that tumble he and Tifa had off the cliff when they were children)
shadowtailmon: Zack minus breakfast plus baby cousin in danger equals Zack of DOOM!!
fullofmisery: Indeed it was.
ONiONLADi777: (accepts cookies) No you cannot. Those two just work together so smoothly, you'd think the game desingers were having a good time doing the dialogue between Cloud and Leon. Like peanut-butter and jam, cookies and cream, chocolate and chilli (I'm not joking about the last one) You can so just imagine Demy playing with the Heartless at Hollow Bastion. The image of Zex tickling Dem is mega cute though. The uke strikes back!
Demyx-KillingMeSoftly: You'll be getting the Zemyx this chapter, and some Akuroku and Soriku combined next (and one of the couples gets a bit naughty teehee)
Malik's Bunny Mika: Akuroku next chapter with Soriku side dish, I swear. NO! THE LOOK! THE LOOK! NO! STRUCK! I HAVE BEEN STRUCK BY CUTENESS!
The Killer Kupcake: Yep. School is evil. Especially when you're about to go into your last year before uni (meep!) Good Speechlessness is good. We like Good Speechlessness.
Lavender341: (offers even more tissues then checks if she's going to have enough to hand out for this update) I would never let Cloud die. I lubb him and Leon too muchly to do that! But hey, Leon not being serious for just a moment is the sign of a good day lol. And...err...I might actually make you guys cry twice in a row now (whoops! I do love you guys! Really I do!) But nah, I'm gonna make these archs end on a happy note. Cleon story arch is definitely going to give a big surprise (and I'm still not telling you guys what it is mwah ha ha!)
iloveshiek21: (more tissues) You can always trust Leon and his almost insatiable appetite for sex to break up the tension (must be from living the high life. Only expects the best and when he's got it, he can't have enough) I have come to the conclusion that Dem's eyes are indeed blue thanks to some artwork from the man himself (bows graciously at the feet of Noumura-san) Well, here you go. A nice long Zemyx chapter (10 pages worth of it)
Faye Silo: Trust his gift of being able to survive anything from cliff falls to Mako poisoning.
Wondering Wolf: How Leon will behave now that he knows that Cloud's life isn't hanging by a thread is yet to be seen. And if Zack doesn't beat the crap out of gramps, fangirls will. lol
Splee: Yay for bipolar chapters! They make the story go round lol. And you're welcome!
ShetanBandit: Death risking? That's normal for Cloud and Zack lol but hey, at least cloud doesn't have to worry about whether he'll have his head on or not anymore. Go hug Zack. He feels a bit left out.
Kiki Lelsissia: Nope. Sephiroth has a say on all members living arrangements. That means he could tear Leon and Cloud apart. And we wouldn't want that, would we? As for killing Sephiroth...well, we'll see.
cherryblossom-demon: He lives! By god he lives! And thank you for the comment (smiles)
Indiesin: Ah yes, gorgeous cheesiness. Gotta love it. I guess you could say snowdrops do appear in January but they have been known to come out eariler around where I live. That, and you can get them at practically every florist nowadays. Ah well, that's what AU's are for, right? P.S. Permission granted. P.P.S Believe it, baby. If I've reviewed it, then it wasn't crappy. I've got good taste (or a weird sense of humour).
almost.arwen: Well, Axie isn't the main driving force of this story. Everyone has a small part to play. Life being a play and people being actors on a stage and all that Shakesperean jazz.

Right then. First of all, before I do anything, I just want to say something about this chapter.

This chapter is dedicated to two incredibly strong women I know. One has hereditory breast cancer and has to be screened regularly. The other has recently beaten breast cancer. Wear a pink wristband to help Breast Cancer Research! There is also an exerpt of Avril Lavigne's song Keep Holding On in this chapter, so yeah, don't own the lyrics. And although I don't know anyone, this is also dedicated to the thousands of children who have to put up with domestic abuse. Keep strong guys. You'll make it through.

OK, thanks, cookies, and Kleenexes go to everyone who had read and reviewed. Please read, review and enjoy.

Holding Onto You

Zexion looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, applying his eyeliner delicately around his round blue-purple eyes. All week, he had been feeling anxious. The demands were becoming more numerous and more threatening by the minute and his doubts were increasing every day. Something had to be done. He feared for Demyx and his family's safety, even if Demyx vowed to protect him. He finished getting himself together, grabbing his house keys from his bag before heading downstairs. Demyx was already there, practicing on his sitar. He looked up.

"Morning Zex," he greeted cheerfully. He then frowned when he noticed that Zexion was wearing his black winter coat with the high neck and chain. "You going out?"

"I'm just going to see an old friend today," Zexion lied. "I should be back by tonight."

"How come I haven't heard of this?" He had a look of suspicion in his ocean-blue eyes.

"He just called me."

Demyx didn't seem convinced. "You're being honest with me right?"

It pained Zexion to do this, but he couldn't let Demyx follow him. He couldn't put Demyx in any danger.

"Yeah. I'm being honest. Don't worry so much."

Demyx put his sitar down. He walked up to Zexion who backed away until he bumped into the wall. Demyx placed both his hands on either side of Zexion's head. The smaller slate-haired man blushed brightly. Demyx placed his forehead against the other's, sighing and shaking his head slightly. The movement made a soothing massage. Zexion's blush deepened a bit.

"Um…"

"Zex, someone's got to worry about you. So why not me?"

"Demyx…"

"Look, I just don't want you getting hurt, alright? Just promise me you won't run your mouth off, OK?"

Zexion scowled at Demyx a little. "I'll have you know that I have better judgement than you think."

"You've yet to prove that to me troublemaker," Demyx grinned, ruffling Zexion's hair affectionately. Zexion pulled a face, not happy that his carefully styled hair was mussed up.

"I'm not as bad as some people you kno-mmm!"

Zexion's eyes widened at first, shocked but he soon relaxed as he allowed Demyx's mouth set the pace between them. How was it that Demyx chose the most unexpected times to take him by surprise with a kiss? Demyx pulled away. Zexion opened his eyes, nodding his head.

"I won't get myself into trouble," Zexion stated, but what he really meant was, I can't promise you anything. "I'll see you tonight, OK?"

"OK."

Zexion smiled and left. Demyx watched him go up the street and disappear from sight from his perch on the windowsill.

Something very unsettling was in the pit of his stomach.

Zexion had just looked at the brick house, ignoring the unkempt lawn and dying plants in the front yard. He shivered slightly in the cold wind, hearing the dead leaves rustling, clinging on to the trees for dear life.

He absolutely abhorred this place. But it was home. His home.

He walked up the cracked concrete path, noticing that the door had been left ajar. Typical really. His father in his drunken stupor would never realise things being stolen unless it was the TV. Zexion had made sure he and one of his friends had nailed anything worth stealing down into the floor. He kicked the door open, watching it swing slowly at just the small push it took. He walked in and closed the door, leaving it unlocked so that his father could get back in. He had learned the hard way that it was a stupid idea to keep him locked out.

He looked at the photo that was collecting dust on the hallway wall. It was a picture of him as a five year old with big blue-purple eyes that were so innocent and open to everything. With him was a beautiful woman with black hair that had a near purplish sheen when it caught the light, similar blue-purple eyes shining brightly. He tried to calm down the stinging in his eyes. Who knew how long it had been since Zexion was last able to dust and clean it lovingly without being in fear for his life.

"Hey…Mother…" he whispered quietly, one small finger tracing her graceful features. He could see so much of him in her. The same face. The same eyes. The same height. The same smile, a smile Zexion used to rarely show. Even the nose was the same. The only thing he inherited from his father was his hair colour. He brushed the dust away, taking the picture down and walking into the living room. The bookshelves were still there, lying untouched. As was the piano. The only things that seemed worn out was the armchair that was falling apart and the TV that had seen better days. The place was littered with beer cans. He curled his nose in disgust, finding it unbelievable but it didn't surprise him. Zexion's father's home pride had seriously gone down the toilet when his mother died. A fortnight later, the beatings started. He placed the picture on top of the piano, the woman and child still smiling like they had back then when it was first taken, and will for eternity. He sat down and stretched his fingers out.

"Mother…I'm home…this is for you."

He pressed a few of the ivory keys, letting them weave with each other to create the beautiful song that had once filled this whole house with peace. It had become instinct to play this song whenever he felt distressed, depressed or just generally feeling lonely. That hadn't been happening lately because he had been with Demyx, who was practically a hyperactive ball of sunshine wherever he went.

And he was coming to love him dearly for that. For bringing in light to Zexion's jaded and dark world.

The music burbled like a brook in summer, lightening up the dusty and time-worn house. Zexion thought back to when the house was a shining example of good housework. The walls were never this dirty faded cream colour. They were bright with colourful pictures. The books were always immaculately kept but all of the pages looked like they had gone a few years of good service. The couches and armchair were cleaned on a regular basis and the room was no stranger to a duster or a vacuum. And instead of him playing, it would've been his mother. He would be sitting beside her, mesmerised by the quick flicks her long fingers made from key to key. And the smile, the smile was like an angel. So kind, so compassionate…so perfect. And then she was taken away.

Zexion wanted to stop, but his fingers refused, still dancing along the keys. On his mother's side of the family, all the women had the genes that caused breast cancer, meaning that she would always have to go for check ups. One day, they found a lump. Zexion was only seven. He couldn't really understand. His father, a kind man back then, would always tell him that his mother was just resting and would come back soon. Whenever he visited his mother, she always said that she would come home soon.

Soon never came. Her long lustrous black hair began to wither away due to chemotherapy. The lumps never went. She began to fade away. He was taken to see her.

He didn't even recognize her at first. She was such a shadow. The only thing that helped him realise it was her was her smile, her bright angelic smile.

"Zexion, I won't be able to come home. But please continue to be good for your father. You can come visit me whenever you like."

She had said that. He never realised she had meant visiting her grave. He only went once or twice to see her. His father banned him from setting foot in the cemetery the fortnight after her death.

He always had this picture of her smiling as she died. She had this peaceful look on her face when he saw her body before it was laid to rest.

Zexion flinched from the keys once he finished playing, tears streaming down his face hot and fast. Tears he never shed at Shiva or in front of anyone. He couldn't stop them, no matter what he did. He brought his knees up into his chest, sobbing violently into them.

"Mother…why…"

The woman in the picture just smiled, like she would continue to do in years to come.

It was beginning to rain. Demyx loved the rain but today, he just watched it, very worried. He tried calling Zexion five times now. All of those times had been ignored.

He had no idea where Zexion was. Or who he was with. And he wasn't really sure if Zexion would come back. It was becoming so lonely without him. He didn't even notice his dad driving up into the driveway and running to the frontdoor.

"I'm home!" Umi Enkai announced.

"Hey Dad," Demyx murmured distractedly. His dad came into the room, raindrops still clinging onto his winter cloak.

"I thought you would be outside in the rain or playing your sitar or something crazy by now," his dad said. "How long have you been here?"

"In this particular spot? Since this morning."

"Since this morning?! Why?"

"No particular reason."

He checked his missed calls box on his mobile. He missed a few calls from Sora and one or two from Yuffie, but none from Zexion. He sighed. "Zexion still hasn't come back."

"Where did he go?"

"To meet with a friend."

"Must've been a long catch-up session then. I wonder how long it must've been since he last saw this friend?" his dad mused, then walking away rambling about something about catching up with high school friends. This was normal though so Demyx wasn't bothered. He sighed, watching the rain fall.

Zexion, where are you?

Zexion was still at the piano, finally controlling his tears when the rain started pouring. And just in time. He had heard the door being violently swung open and shut and the stumbling stomps of a drunken man. Zexion prepared himself for the worst, remembering the words from Demyx earlier this morning.

"Just promise me you won't run your mouth off, OK?"

I'll try Demyx. I'll try.

The drunken footsteps stopped as they came into the room. He tensed.

"Mina?"

"Can't you recognize your own son?" Zexion asked, turning around to face him. The man who unfortunately had the title of father was taller, stronger but a total slob in comparison to what he had been twelve years ago. He had eyes that were as black as coal and defining strong features on his face. His gaze had hardened.

"Where have you been?" he asked lowly. When Zexion didn't answer, he screamed, "Where the fuck have you been?!"

Zexion tried his best not to flinch as he calmly replied, "I went to stay over at a friend's house. I promised him that I would."

He wouldn't say boyfriend. His father's drunkenness had installed a deep fear and hatred of homosexuality. It may have had something to do with the fact that men couldn't really get breast cancer since they lacked…well, breasts. But it could happen, even though it was rare.

Zexion himself had gone to a few screenings just to make sure he didn't carry the genes that would make him fall ill. He was lucky. He wasn't a sufferer.

"And how come I didn't hear about this you little shit?"

"I didn't think you would worry so much."

For that, he was given a hard slap across his face. Zexion winced, raising a hand to nurse the injured cheek.

"Don't answer back to me you worthless brat!"

Zexion said nothing, not even daring to glare at him. He had to keep his promises.

"I am the one who puts a roof over your head! You will come directly back to me! Do you understand!?"

I don't see why I should…

"Yes…" Zexion said quietly.

"I own you! If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have gotten into that university!"

Well, actually, I got there using my own talent. I do have a scholarship after all.

"Yes…I know…" Zexion entertained the delusion. He was used to it.

"You were with that pansy musician weren't you?!"

Zexion fought every ounce of wanting to hit his father for bringing Demyx into this.

"You were! I thought I told you to break all contact with that faggot!"

"He's my friend," Zexion said, gritting his teeth.

"He's a faggot! All faggots are not normal! All faggots are perverts! All faggots don't feel because it's impossible for them!"

Zexion balled his hands into fists, shaking. How dare he…How dare he?! Demyx was normal! Demyx wasn't a pervert! Demyx could feel! His music was evidence of that! If he was happy, he would play sunny tunes and joyous songs. If he was sad, his sitar would sing melancholy melodies and sorrowful ballards. The only person here who couldn't feel anything more than anger, hatred and was really really pitiful was his father! Without even thinking of the consequences, Zexion was up on his feet. He didn't look intimidating since his father was much taller than him.

"Don't you dare bring him into this!" he yelled. This took the older man by surprise but he replied with as much gusto as Zexion had done.

"Why do you care?!"

Zexion didn't even have time to think. "Because he's my lover!"

The silence was excrutiating. His father looked at him as if he had been told that his only son had contracted some incurable disease. Zexion was shaking with anger, lips tightly pursed.

"What?" he questioned lowly.

Zexion had no fear. He could say this. And he couldn't care what happened to him. "You heard me father. I am with another man. He loves me very much. And you can't change that or take it away from me!" He felt so strong. He knew now that he had something worth living for. Something to help him through life when it came to moments like these. He had Demyx.

"I care so so much about him too."

"You what?!" his father bellowed. Zexion expected being hit, but he hadn't expected being punched so hard that he crashed into the bookcase. The books fell with him to the floor, cluttering around him. Zexion winced, feeling the pain shooting up and down his body. He looked up, seeing that the red complexion was getting redder by the minute.

"No son of mine will be a fag!"

I don't care. You never behaved like a good father to me after Mother died.

He felt himself being kicked violently in the chest, screaming in pain. He was kicked repeatedly there, coughing and panting rapidly to try and regain his breath. He was then roughly picked off the floor by the collar only to be slammed against the wall. Zexion cringed with agony, not wanting to scream anymore than he already had.

"Try saying that you're a fag now," his father dared him. Zexion glared, hatred boiling inside him.

"I don't care what you think," Zexion said slowly, choking to get his breath. "You might as well accept the fact that I'm not under your control. I can do what I please."

He was given a vicious slap in the face, a punch to his gut and then tossed to the floor again. The hellacious beating continued until, finally, his father left to go to the bar, leaving his son for dead and declaring that he had no son.

Zexion just lay there, listening to the rain pouring down. He made a quiet smile, a smile similar to his mother's. This would be the last time he would ever have to put up with such a life. The last time he had to live a lie. He reached for his cell phone.

Demyx's eyes were drooping, but he tried to fight back the sleep. He wasn't leaving his spot until he saw Zexion come running up that path and banging on the front door. Then he would be happy. He jumped when his phone rang, Eyes On Me singing softly. He scrambled to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Demyx…"

"Zexion? Where are you? Why does your voice sound funny?"

"…I'm hurt…"

"What?!"

"I need you to come get me…I'm at my house…you know where it is…right?"

"Yeah!"

"Great…come quickly…don't know if I can move anymore…"

Zexion hung up. Demyx jumped to his feet and was out the door faster than you could say "It's Super Demyx to the rescue!"

"Just going out for a minute!" Demyx yelled to his parents. "Be right back!"

"Demmy!!"

Demyx ran through the rain, completely numb from the cold but not even registering it. Since he ran in the mornings so much, he had become a much faster runner especially in times when it was needed…like now.

He ran through parks, through little alleyways between houses, jumped over trashcans and avoided barking dogs that were unfortunate enough to own an outdoor doghouse that leaked badly and had owners who didn't want muddy paw prints in their house. Until he reached the house that was in such disarray that it was almost pitiful. But Demyx wasn't here to criticise that! He bashed through the door.

"Zex! Zexion!" he yelled.

"…in here…"

He stepped into the living room and almost collapsed onto his knees at the damage he saw. Books and bits of broken vase were everywhere. A picture that looked that had hung from the wall above the piano had fallen down, the protective glass shattered on the floor. And sitting there against the wall, looking blankly at those broken shards, was Zexion. Demyx ran over and slid onto his knees, hugging Zexion tightly.

"What happened? What the hell happened?"

"My father, that's what."

"But why did you come here?"

"I…had to…"

"Why?"

"I had to…make him stop making those calls…and threats. I told him…the one thing he…would hate to hear."

"And what's that?"

"That I'm gay…and I'm with you, the 'pansy musician' as he…affectionately calls you."

"Charming," Demyx growled, picking Zexion off the floor gingerly. Zexion managed to pick up the photo, clutching it tightly to him. "Let's get you home."

When they had gotten home, nothing was said. Umi and Sirene Enkai left them alone, knowing full well that this was something they shouldn't meddle with unless asked to. The two lovers just went to their room, Demyx laying Zexion, who was still clutching onto that photo for dear life, on the bed. He sat on the edge, looking sadly at him. Zexion had not said a word the entire trip, just letting Demyx do the talking. It had been his way of coping. Trying to make light of the situation but Demyx…all he spoke was how he was going to murder that fucker when he got the chance. Right now, all he needed was silence and maybe some comfort. That was he needed. And all he wanted.

Demyx seemed to understand this as he slid himself along next to him. Zexion immediately retreated into Demyx's wet shirt that was clinging to his cold skin. It was amazing that Demyx hadn't caught a cold.

"You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand."

Zexion looked up, seeing Demyx's lips singing softly and quietly. Demyx looked at him gently.

"Do you want me to stay quiet?"

"No…keep singing…"

Demyx nodded and continued. "When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No, I won't give in."

Zexion buried his face into Demyx's chest, trying his best not to cry. What, just what, had he done to deserve someone like Demyx?

"Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through."

Zexion clinged, feeling the photograph slipping between him and Demyx. The taller blond man held him tightly.

"We'll make it through," he sang again. He then added to those lyrics. "I'm here for you."