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Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward

Chapter 35
BPOV

Whatever Maggie said to Edward seems to have helped. He's more himself today than he has been since that horrible night at my house with James.

Just thinking about James and my house freaks me out. I know I need to make a decision about my living situation, etc., but thanks to whatever Maggie said or did, I can put off those decisions for a little longer. He needed help and I'm happy to do it. This is not a man who asks for help, ever. He asks for nothing. Just call me, "Nurse Bella."

The leather sofa in his living room isn't ideal for sleeping, but neither was the cot at the hospital. I've got a safe place to stay. Beggars can't be choosers.

The truth is, I'd like nothing better than to be snuggled up in Edward's bed with him. It felt wrong saying goodnight and leaving him in there alone. I silently wished he would ask me to stay in his room with him. I hope someday we can get back to that place again, but for now, Edward is fragile. I remind myself that with Edward I need to take baby steps.

The dogs are with him. He'll be fine.

I check on Edward one last time, turn off the lights and tv and try to calm my thoughts so I can get some sleep.

I sleep lightly, knowing I'm on call.

Buddy wakes me by licking my hand. "You need to go out, Buddy?" I whisper to him.

Instead of going to the door, he heads back into Edward's room. I follow him.

Edward is asleep on his back, the only position he is comfortable. I watch him for a minute. I kind of got used to doing this, watching him in the hospital while he slept. It's peaceful, calm. It makes me feel, I don't know, protective.

He whimpers, snapping me from my thoughts. He has a deep frown on his face. His head is moving slightly from side to side.

I walk to the side of the bed and run my fingers lightly through his hair, hoping to have a soothing effect on him. He hums, the frown loosening on his face. Just as I'm about to leave he whispers my name. My eyes snap to his, thinking I've woken him, but his eyes are tightly closed. "Bella, stay."

I can't bring myself to leave his side. Whether he wants me here in the morning is something I will deal with in the light of the day. For now, Edward wants me here.

I snuggle into the other side of the bed, careful not to touch him, and quickly drift off to sleep.

"Um, Bella," Edward taps my shoulder.

"Hmmm,"

"Bella, wake up."

"Oh, what? Sorry. Do you need something?" I ask groggily.

"No. When did you come in here?" he asks with caution.

"Sorry if I invaded your space or whatever. Buddy woke me up, because you were having a bad dream, not a full fledge nightmare, but I felt better being close to you," I shrug, slightly embarrassed.

"It's fine," he mumbles as he tries unsuccessfully to roll out of bed. I jump onto my knees and steady him from behind. Once he is sitting on the side of the bed I give him a little push to help him stand. He walks stiffly into the bathroom.

"Let me know if you need anything," I say as the door closes. I plop down wondering if we've just taken a giant step backwards.

I freshen up in the other bathroom, take the dogs out and start coffee and breakfast. It's almost ready when Edward comes into the room.

"Smells good," he says with a weak, hesitant smile.

I pour him some coffee, set it on the table and help him get comfortable in the chair. We eat in relative silence.

"I'm going to try not to take any pain pills today," he says out of the blue.

"You're not in too much pain?"

"I'm sore, but no pain." He pauses shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "Um, I'm going to need some help later taking a shower. I mean, I can shower myself, I just need help with some stuff."

"Of course, just think of me as your nurse. Don't be uncomfortable about it. I'm glad I can help and being here gives me time to think about what I'm going to do with my house."

"How are you feeling about that? The house, ya know?" Edward asks.

"I don't know yet. My flight instincts tell me to never go back there, but I know that isn't rational or logical. At the very least I need to pack up my stuff, or the stuff I don't think he touched." An uncomfortable shiver shoots through me as I say this.

"You don't ever have to go back there if you don't want to, Bella. I plan on paying Paul and Seth through the end of the month. I could ask them to pack your house. You could put it all in storage and stay here until you figure out what you want to do," Edward says hastily.

My eyes shoot to his, in shock from his grand offer. The look on his face is just as shocked as mine.

"Or, whatever," he shrugs, focusing back on his breakfast.

"Um, thanks Edward. That's a great offer. I'll think about it and let you know," I say, not knowing what else to say.

We have a peaceful day together. His family comes to visit, but they don't stay long. Edward naps throughout the day. He's moving slowly, but seems to be comfortable. Although he is still obviously uncomfortable with me helping him change, etc. I wish he would relax. No matter how much I tell him, he doesn't seem to understand that I want to be here for him.

Edward closes his eyes when I'm down on my knees helping him change his pants for bed. His expression looks pained. "Am I hurting you?" I ask as I finish pulling his pants high enough on his legs so he can reach them.

We I finish and stand up, he just shakes his head and waddles to the bathroom. He's in there for a while, so I take the dogs out and shut down the house for the night.

I sit on the side of the bed and wait to see if he needs anything else before I head back out the living room to sleep.

When he finally exits the bathroom his face is flushed, and his brow is furrowed.

"You okay," I ask.

He nods while he gingerly gets settled into bed.

"Edward?" he looks up at me with sad eyes. "I want to be here. I want to help you. Please try to relax and let me take care of you." I plead.

He nods again.

"Goodnight. Just call if you need anything." I say as I turn to leave the bedroom, feeling the sting of being resigned to my place in his life... the couch.

"Bella," he says, just above a whisper.

"Yes," I answer without turning to look at him.

"Um, thanks. For everything. I'm sorry I'm such a horrible patient." he laments.

I turn in his direction, but don't move from the doorway. "You are not a horrible patient. You're not whiney or needy at all. I just wish I didn't make you so uncomfortable. Would you rather have someone else here, besides me?"

"No," he yells, making me jump.

"I mean, no. I want you here." he pauses. "It's just really hard for me to be taken care of like this. It reminds me of when I was recovering after the accident. It just brings back feelings, thoughts. It takes me back to a place I don't want to go."

I walk towards the bed. "Let me know if there is anything I can do for you. If you want to talk or whatever, I'm here. For you. In every way you need me to be."

"I know," he nods. "And it means more to me than you know."

I stand there until the silence becomes uncomfortable. I kiss him on the forehead and run my hand through his hair. I hear him sigh when I stop.

"Good night, Edward."

"Um, you can sleep in here if you want. The couch is hard," he says hesitantly.

"Really? You're sure? I don't want to hurt you in the night."

"You're not a restless sleeper. I think I'm safe," he smiles.

"If you're sure." I say getting in the other side of the bed. It's my turn to sigh. The soft bed is a welcomed surprise.

I turn off the lights and lie down a good distance from Edward.

Within minutes, I hear him clear his throat and take a deep breath. "I was injured pretty badly in the accident. They thought I might lose both my legs. They were almost certain that I wouldn't have full use of them. The recovery was long." He pauses. "Do you have any questions? It won't bother me. Maggie says I should tell you that it's okay to ask."

"I don't want to make this more difficult for you, by making you talk about it."

"It's not easy for me, but it feels surprisingly good to tell someone."

"I'm glad you feel like you can trust me."

"I do."

"What happened to your legs? They look just fine to me." I say with, trying to make that last sentence sound like a compliment, but probably failing miserably.

He chuckles darkly. "Thanks. Um, both of my femurs were broken. I have a rod in both legs now."

"That must have been painful."

"That wasn't the most painful thing." He pauses again. "I had third degree burns on my legs. The fire that started in the front of the car gradually heated up all of the metal in the car. Including the part that had my legs pinned. The burns required more surgeries than my bones."

"Edward, I'm so sorry. That must have been... I don't even know what to say..." My voice drifts off, fearing I'll cry if I say anymore. Instead I seek out his hand and thread my fingers through his.

"I worked hard to regain use of my legs. The rehabilitation took a couple of years. I miraculously have full use and no pain in them. I'm a medical wonder." He says, making a joke.

I laugh, but I'm really crying. No wonder he hates hospitals and needing people to take care of him. I realize now when he has nightmares, that he's back in that car, trapped and being burned alive. My tears fall silently thinking about the wonderful, beautiful, complicated man lying next to me.

A/N

Okay, so there it is. What is still holding him back though? More lemony moments coming, lol.

I think we're looking at about 10 more chapters to this baby. Next update on Tuesday.

Thanks so much for reading and for your support and kind words.

There should be two separate teasers, Sunday (twific Zone) and Monday (Fictionators), from the next two chapters.

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