Chapter 34
Forks
Hey guys. I know this chapter's a little stiff. Bear with me, okay? I've had some personal stuff cluttering up my mind, and I'm having a hard time getting my writing muscles to flex again. Take the time to stop, review, and let me know what you think Carlisle needs to do about this, okay? And as always, thanks for being awesome and taking the time to read!
"Morning all!"
There was an uncharacteristic bounce in my step as I wandered into the kitchen. Reaching around Rosalie, who was standing next to the stove with her jaw hanging down around her chest and a spatula in her hand, I scooped an apple out of the fruit bowl and took a big, wet, juicy bite.
"What?" I asked innocently, knowing full damn well why they were gaping at me. It was Sunday. The clinic was technically closed (although god knew Carlisle didn't know how to say no when people turned up on his doorstep). And it was 5:30 in the morning. And I was feeling downright chipper.
And just a touch obnoxious. The two go together so well. It seemed a shame to deny one of the other's company.
Of course, the reason I was up this early was because I hadn't been able to sleep the night before. Which was just so disgustingly girlie I could hardly stand myself, but what can you do? Finally breaking the sexual tension that had been bubbling thick and heavy for the past who-the-hell-knew-how-long (I was pretty sure it had only been a couple of weeks, but looking back it felt like it had been for-freaking-ever) had left me feeling downright giddy.
Or maybe that punch-drunk feeling came from the flash and burn preceding that suspicious melting feeling. The one that had dissolved in my abdomen when I saw that soft, serious look in his eyes and the equally soft and seriously hot kiss that had followed when Dr. C walked me to my room the night before.
Ordinarily I'd be complaining about getting sent off to bed when there were so many other, more interesting things to do in the middle of the night, but honestly? After everything that had been going on, keeping it simple was kinda nice.
And if you tell anyone I said that, I'm going to have your throat ripped out. I have connections.
"Um, nothing," Emmett shook his head and went back to her paper, muttering something I was probably glad I couldn't hear. Jasper was characteristically silent, and Alice…well hell. From the knowing looks Alice was shooting my way, I was guessing she knew everything. But she was being gracious enough not to say anything about it, and despite the avaricious curiosity burning in her eyes I wasn't feeling inclined to satisfy her curiosity.
Although…
"Good morning everybody." Carlisle walked into the room, fingers casually brushing against the edge of his slacks. (Seriously? Who wears slacks on their day off?) In a green sweater that hugged every curve of those shoulders, with his hair tousled like he'd been running his hands through it over and over again and forgotten to put himself back together, he looked certifiably yummy. Too yummy. With flashbacks from the night before dancing like sugarplums in my head, I was almost too busy drooling to catch on to one other very important, very significant, very-barely-noticeable fact.
Except for a quick nod in my direction he barely made eye contact before sitting down at the table and oh-so-politely asking Emmett for the front page.
Well. Scowling, I leaned back against the counter and took another bite. Okay, not that I was necessarily expecting a dissertation about my utter and unequivocable awesomeness after a few shared kisses the day before-which had, I realized, been strategically placed before and after we found out unexpected company was in town.
Talk about your distraction. I almost gave him credit for it. I mean, it wasn't every day that the biggest, baddest big bad wolf of the west came knocking on your door. Eli was being stupid enough to challenge Jake and, um, the southern werewolves could wipe the floor with the vamps anytime, anywhere and not even break a sweat while they were doing it. So he was a little distracted.
But…was a little acknowledgement that those kisses actually happened too much to ask? Glaring evilly at the top of his head, I had the almost overwhelming urge to pick up the frying pan and throw it at him. Just to see what he'd do. Maybe it was a little petty of me, but after the freak show my life had become the past couple of weeks I wasn't in the mood to be ignored.
"Maybe he's not ignoring you," whispered an evil little voice in the back of my head. "Maybe he finally came to his senses after you went to bed last night. Realized you're a little too high maintenance for the likes of him."
"Shut up," I snarled irritably, flinching when Alice arched an eyebrow my way. Damn it. I hadn't meant to say that out loud.
Irritatingly, the question of what the hell I was supposed to do about it chewed at the back of my brain for exactly long enough to completely put me off my breakfast. Disgusted with myself, the world in general and the man who was sitting at the table bent over the morning paper I caught Jasper's eye, nodded in the general direction of upstairs and went to grab my shoes, coat and the really cool wrappy thing that had popped up in the mail as a "Hey, I'm nice and roasty down here, but I hope y'all are having a good time up there in the frosty, frigid north" present from Jaz.
Unfortunately, I hadn't exactly planned for the negative effects of eighteen degree weather and thin little pajama pants. Crap.
"Any particular reason you're out here freezing your ass off?"
That cocky drawl. The irritating grin. Just-the-right-amount-of-boyish-charm-to-make-you-not-deck-him-in-the-face. Could only be…
"Morning Jake."
"Max."
Jake fell into step beside me as I stomped my way around the house, trying to get warm and casting the occasional baleful glance in the general direction of the kitchen. "What's got your knickers in a not?" he asked easily, stuffing his hands in his pockets and refusing to even have the common decency to pop a goosebump or two. "You're never up this early when you don't have to be, much less wandering around in the great outdoors without even a cup of coffee."
"How did you…?"
"Wolf, remember?" He tapped the side of his nose with a grin. "I can always tell when you've been down to the coffee shop and when you've been drinking Emmett's home brewed. I can smell it all over you."
Crap. Not only had Carlisle's very obvious snub that morning deprived me of breakfast, I'd completely forgotten that I was still running without so much as a drop of coffee in my veins. If you'd asked me yesterday, I'd have told you I'd probably be convulsing by now.
Okay, so there's not actually a number at which blood caffeine levels are considered incompatible with life. But damn did it feel like it some days. And now I was seriously pissed. The question was, did I say anything to Jake?
"May as well," he said companionably, grinning when I glared. "You can wait, but Bella knows I'm here. Which means she's just going to nag me to death when she hears you're out here in a snit, then she's going to come over here and pry it out of you, then I'm going to get a peal rung over my head for not realizing you were upset. Really, it doesn't pay to be the "Mr" in Mr and Mrs Black some days."
"Coulda told you that before you married her, bucko." I sighed at the puppydog look on Jake's face. He was full of shit, and we both knew it. But he was trying to be a friend, and I didn't want to toss that back in his face. "If you must know, I'm sulking."
"Ah." Jake walked along quietly for a minute or two, and I felt the muscles in my shoulders slowly start to relax. Shoulda known he wouldn't leave it at that. "Does this have anything to do with the fact that I smell Carlisle all over you?"
Damned wolf.
"Shut the fuck up Jake," I snarled, hunching into my coat and heading back through the snow toward the door to the clinic, making sure I kicked up enough snow to send it flying into his face. All he did was laugh. Stupid wolf metabolism. But it made me feel better.
"Touchy." Jake pulled a granola bar out of his coat pocket, peeled the paper back and bit in with an annoying crunch. "So what did Carlisle do to piss you off?"
"He kissed me."
He'd managed to spray crumbs all over the place (have I mentioned I really miss the days when Jake considered me company and actually bothered minding his manners?) and I was feeling exceptionally nasty that morning. So you'll have to forgive me if I got an immense amount of satisfaction out of listening to him cough and hack when he choked on the damned thing.
"He what?" he finally gasped out.
Smirking, I wasn't sure whether to be amused or insulted by the look on his face. My own nerves were rubbed so raw it didn't really matter one way or the other. It just reaffirmed what Dr. C's rejection this morning had told me already-that what had happened the night before was just a stupid, hormone-driven mistake that he wanted to forget about in the cold light of day.
No. Stuffing my hands in my pockets and stomping ahead of Jake, I forced myself to admit it wasn't that simple. If Carlisle regretted it he'd have very politely apologized for not behaving like a gentlemen, blamed it on being overwrought, and we'd have gone on as we had been. Which sucked, but considerably less than trying to wrap my head around the fact that apparently for now I was going to be his dirty little secret.
Okay, don't get me wrong. I usually have no problem being someone's dirty little secret. In fact, there's been more than one occasion where I've thoroughly enjoyed it. Especially when I was in college, knowing those rich society parents were going to flip their lids if they found out their sweet little boys were dallying with…well…me. But we weren't in high school anymore.
Then again…these weren't just random roommates. For all intents and purposes, those were Carlisle's kids that had been chillaxing in the kitchen this morning.
That thought stopped me in my tracks. Metaphorically speaking. (I knew better than to actually slam on the brakes. Jake would have been happy for the excuse to stuff me face-first in the snow.) I had always known Carlisle was a "father" to the Cullen clan. But I had never really stopped to think about what that meant. I'd known friends in the hospital who had dated after their children were born, and who had waited months before introducing their children to the people they were dating-if they introduced them at all.
Granted, it was probably different when one's children were well into their 70's…but still. Would Carlisle want to keep whatever this was between us? Would it be possible in a house like this? And would I be able to live with the fact that because of his wishes, because of the odd nature of this little family and because of the fact that I was basically dating the father of one of my best friends (and there was no way I was thinking too hard about that), I wasn't going to be able to tell my friends about these odd feelings bubbling and coursing inside me?
Oh good grief, when did I turn into a romantic? It was like some kind of bad Nora Roberts novel. Time to shake it off.
Shake it off I did, at Forks's only gym, a short while later. Nothing burns the frustration like a mile or ten on the treadmill. By the time I was done my muscles were rubbery, my arms were limp, and I was too damned tired to bask in my own insecurity. So when I walked in the front door and found Carlisle standing there waiting for me, all I could do was sigh. Figures.
"Dr. C," I said, as politely as possible as I slipped between him and the wall, heading for Jaz's office and the sweet, mind-numbing oblivion of charting.
"Maxine."
Damn it. The solemn tone to his voice had me stopping, turning, leaning against the wall and scowling at the ma staring back at me. Seriously. Did he have to look perfect 24 hours a day, or was it just bad luck? I, of course, was a wet mess. I'd learned a lot time ago that walking into a house full of vampires reeking of sweat and adrenaline from the gym was just begging for hours of abuse. Bad enough when I trained at the house but if I walked into Rosalie's kitchen smelling of anything less than clean, fresh human I'd hear about nothing else for hours upon hours on end. Which meant I'd showered at the gym, and the ends of my hair were frozen where they were poking out underneath my perky little cap. My clothes were wrinkled where they crumpled under my coat, and restless fingers had chipped away at the polish on my nails while I'd sat at the weight bench and tried to keep my mind on task.
So all I could do was sigh, and lean into the hand that he lightly trailed down my arm. Give in when I wanted to scream, and lay my head against his chest so he could pull me close and press his lips to my head.
"I'm sorry," he whispered softly, pulling me closer and wrapping his arms around me. "I was stupid and careless and thoughtless, and I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?" I asked, knowing it was useless but refusing to go down without a fight. It didn't matter. He knew, with that innate sense that he'd always used with his children. That he'd always used when Bella and Jaz and I were upset. Of course he knew. He'd always known.
"No one expects you to be the hard ass here, Maxine." Did 400 year old vampires actually use the words 'hard ass' in a sentence? Well. Apparently this one did. Gently reaching down, he tipped my chin up so he could see my face, the way he'd done since I was a teenager. "I hurt you this morning. I'm sorry for that."
"I had no right to be hurt, or angry, or anything else." Forcing a bright smile to my lips, I beamed up at him, knowing he'd know I was faking but unable to do anything else. He didn't smile back, just bent down to run his lips along mine in a feather light touch that had me leaning back into him and swallowing the moan that was bubbling up in my throat.
"Um." It took me a couple of tries to clear my throat when he finally lifted his head. Damn, that man could kiss. "Jake's in the kitchen looking for you."
"Jacob will wait." With a sigh of his own he reached down, caught my hand and pulled me into his office. Carefully closing the door behind us, he tugged me down into one of the chairs in front of his desk, sitting down in the other and folding my hands into his.
Looking down, he absently rubbed his fingers over mine. I didn't know what to do. All the thoughts that had been churning in my head, all of the terror and confusion and uncertainty that had been coursing through me, drifted away at the certainty and confusion on his face. Looked like I wasn't the only one that didn't have a clue what the hell was going on.
"Would it," he said carefully, "be exceptionally presumptuous of me to say that I find I'd rather like you to have the right? I am a very, very old vampire, Maxine. Far too old for you, when it gets right down to it," he added wryly, making me smile. "And I find it's unfortunate that my mind has not yet wandered into doddering old age, because this would be so much easier if I could forget how miserably difficult it is to begin a relationship, a true relationship, with a woman and could instead forge blindly ahead with all the innocence and ridiculousness of youth. Instead, I find myself struggling to figure out how to behave with you."
"I didn't know I needed to come with an instruction book," I said dryly, laughing a little when he just looked at me. Alright, so maybe I did. "Look, we're both figuring this out. Just…let me know how you want to play this, okay? I mean...well. I kinda get why you wouldn't want anyone to know that we're…whatever the hell we are. We can keep this between us. No worries."
Carlisle lifted my hand to his lips, silently running his lips over the exposed skin. It felt so good I pushed the ominous thud in my stomach to the back of my mind.