Note: Hey there, people. Sorry for the long absence. I got really ill and I've only been able to even sit up this weekend. So here is chapter 35. Talk did not happen. Next chapter. Maybe. I'm playing with the idea of returning to Kuroro, but I'm not sure I'd have enough material to do an entire chapter on him, yet. I thought Kuroro was my favourite character to write for, but it turns out Killua is quickly pushing up to #1.
Beta-reader: None; it's barely edited. I wanted to post and reassure people that I'm still alive, lol. Thank you for the concern. It touched me.
Chapter summary: Kurapica's thoughts.
Chapter 35
The first few days went by in a flash for Kurapica. Zaban wasn't a big town by any stretch of the imagination, and there wasn't all that much to do, certainly not like there had been in York Shin, but it was all right with the four of them. They hadn't seen one another since they had parted in York Shin eight months prior. There was a lot of catching up to do. At first, they had just hung around in their suite and in coffee shops, catching up on what had been going on in their lives. Kurapica spoke little, but he often caught both Killua and Leorio studying him quietly when they thought he couldn't see them.
Thursday afternoon, he was pretty desperate for some private time. He could have just locked himself in his room, but he had finished the book Kuroro had loaned him before he left and he didn't really want the others to come knocking on his door to get him to spend time with them. He loved them all, but he hadn't been able to just leave on his own and do his own thing in months, and he just had enough. He had been holed up in his room all morning, and when he came out, the other three looked up from a board game they had set up on the coffee table.
Leorio noticed he'd put a hoodie on and he asked, "Are you going somewhere?"
"Yeah," the blond replied. "Feeling a little cramped. I'm just going to try and find a library or something."
"Geh," Gon made a face and Kurapica chuckled softly.
"You should bring back a game that doesn't suck," Killua said.
"Hey," Gon pouted at him, "I like this game!"
"How can you like this game?!" Killua asked incredulously. "There's no soundtrack, no control, nothing. It uses dice and pieces for f–"
Leorio asked, "Do you want me to come with?"
Kurapica shook his head apologetically. "I haven't been able to just go somewhere on my own in months, Leorio." He had a little smile. "I'll be back around dinner time, all right?"
The would-be doctor looked a little crestfallen, but he had the grace not to push him. "Okay," he said and waved, "see ya tonight."
"Later," Kurapica said and made his way to the door.
"Kurapica," Killua called out after him, "bring back a game. A game!"
The Kuruta chuckled and let the door fall shut, muffling the sounds coming from the other three. He breathed slowly in and out, then turned away and made his way to the elevators. The ever helpful clerk downstairs pointed him to the municipal library. He walked briskly, hands shoved in the pockets of his hoodie. The weather was sunny and spring was on the air. Kurapica took narrow streets that were only open to pedestrian traffic, enjoying the wind on his face and the sudden feeling of freedom he found himself with. He was nearly disappointed when he reached the library.
It was bigger than he had anticipated. He even managed to find a few books that seemed to focus on topics he'd heard of but not previously taken the time to read about. He selected a few that seemed particularly promising, and these he took back to a table so he could peruse them in peace. He opened the one on the top of his little pile and unzipped his hoodie, slipping his arms out of the sleeves as he started on the first paragraph. Two chapters in, he set the book aside. He'd had a long discussion on the subject with Kuroro after their visit to the planetarium and the volume wasn't teaching him anything new. The second book only had one chapter he was interested in and it only took him twenty minutes or so to go through it and skim the rest of the text in case something else caught his interest. He set it aside and picked up the third book in his stack.
He paused.
The Great Painters Of The Second Age was the title. Something he would never had previously read about. The painting used as an illustration on the cover was one he'd seen with Kuroro in Quedlin. He wasn't even sure why he'd decided to pick it up. Things were so, so messed up. He sat back in his chair and went through the book slowly. He wasn't reading. He just looked at each painting, one after the other, letting his thoughts wander back over the past seven weeks. At first, things had been so easy, so black and white. He hated Kuroro then, hated him with all of the rage he'd accumulated in the six years since his clan's massacre.
Things had shifted though. At first, there had been the slow realization that Kuroro wasn't the heartless monster he had always imagined. That thought, that one thought really bothered him. If Kuroro had been a monster, if he'd just been a heartless, unfeeling bastard, then Kurapica's grief made sense. Then it had an explanation, a reason for existing. Instead, the Kuruta had to wrap his head around the fact that Kuroro had taken the decision to have his entire family exterminated, knowing what he was doing and yet not caring about it in the slightest.
Hadn't the man said something about it in the beginning? That he would have had Kurapica killed, too, if he had known there would be a survivor, that he hadn't meant for Kurapica to go through this grief. At the time, he'd assumed the man was just trying to play him, but now... Now, he just didn't know anymore. He wasn't ready to believe Kuroro at face value. Everything the Ryodan leader did and said had layers upon layers of reasoning, lies and deceits. Yet, he seemed honest enough on some points. He realized he'd been staring at one painting intently for so long, he wasn't really seeing it anymore. He turned the page.
Then, there had been the touches, Kuroro's warm hands on him as he took care of his wounds. And then the kiss. He should have bitten him then. He'd been completely frozen in place at the time, but if he had bitten him or punched him, nothing else would have happened between them. That would have been the end of it all. Why hadn't he thought of it then? Why had he let it happen? Oh, right, he had frozen in place because the possibility that Kuroro might do something like that had never entered his thoughts. He turned another page.
The date, though. That had been such a weird day, in more ways than one. Something had shifted, then, but Kurapica wasn't sure what had exactly. He had been so much more aware of the older man after their visit to the museum. Everything about him was destabilizing. His looks, the way he carried himself, his voice, everything.
Huh, this painting was actually pretty nice.
Then, there had been that night, up in the Sakagi mountains. The way Kuroro had touched him... it should have felt horrible, should have felt disgusting. If it had happened at the beginning of their little arrangement, Kurapica would have stopped him, would have punched him, beat him into a bloody pulp or died trying. Instead... he'd let it happen. Worse still, it had felt good. Even thinking about it, he could feel his pulse racing a little. He bit his lower lip and shifted in his chair. There was no two way about this. He had received sexual pleasure from the hand of the man he had sworn to kill. And he was craving more.
He glared down at the book, slammed it shut and placed it down onto the table. He leaned his elbows on either side of it and pushed his fists into his eyes in frustration. That was the crux of the matter, right there. He'd felt good and he couldn't even look at the Spider head without thinking back on it anymore. Dreading, hoping, wishing, fearing that he would do it again. Knowing he would have let it happen again. And that was so wrong. So very wrong.
But Kuroro hadn't touched him again after that. Not once. Every kiss but one had actually been instigated by the Kuruta. Kuroro had requested some, but he'd never actually forced one on the blond. He definitely knew what he was doing. He was playing Kurapica like a violin, and the blond still wanted more.
"Excuse me," the voice that broke through his thoughts was soft and apologetic, but Kurapica still jumped slightly. He turned his startled eyes on the library clerk standing next to him. "I'm very sorry, sir," she said. "We're closing for the day. If you would like to borrow some books, you should make your way to the counter now."
"Ah, no." Kurapica managed a little smile. "I'm not from here, so I don't have membership. Could I perhaps get your opening hours, though?"
"Of course," she said and moved back to her station. Kurapica picked up his hoodie from the back of his chair and followed after her, slipping it on. "Here." She handed him a bookmark that had the library opening hours on the back.
Kurapica thanked her and made his way out of the building. He took the long way around to get back to the hotel. When he walked into their suite, the sun was coming down and the main area was deserted. He glanced at his phone. It was only a little after six. He heard a door open and turned towards the sound. Leorio was peeking out of his room. He waved and walked over to him.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey," Kurapica replied. "Where are Gon and Killua?"
"Sleeping," Leorio said, pointing towards the rooms the youngest members of their little group had claimed. "They had a huge fight over the game they were playing and they yelled at each other until I went crazy. When it got quiet, I went to check on them and they were both clunked out."
"Oh," Kurapica said and he chuckled and shook his head. "They haven't changed much."
"Mm," Leorio eyed him quietly. Kurapica tried not to react, but the heavy gaze the other levelled at him made him increasingly nervous. Finally, the older man asked, "Fancy dinner?"
Kurapica faltered a bit. "Leorio..." He sighed softly and licked his lips, trying to figure out how to go about this.
"Not like that," Leorio added hastily. "Just as friends, a'right?" Kurapica studied his face carefully. "Just the two of us hanging out," Leorio insisted. "The kids are driving me nuts and I'd love a conversation that features more than video games and enough chocolate to rot all of your teeth."
Kurapica laughed softly. "All right," he said. "Friendly dinner." Leorio frowned lightly and Kurapica felt guilty for insisting on the friends part.
The older boy asked, "Anything you feel like eating?" He tilted his head at the blond. "I'll drive, so we can go a little ways. You're still no good with spicy food, right?"
"Right," Kurapica said, and he headed over to the coffee table so he could leave a note for Gon and Killua to let them know Leorio and he would eat out and they should order in. He wondered what Killua would think of that. He'd never disregard the younger boy's observational skills ever again. Well, there was little he could do anyway. "What was that country Hanzo was from?" he asked Leorio when he was done. "We had some of the food from there after the Hunter Exam. I liked it."
"Okay," the would-be doctor said. "Then I know just where to take you."
Together, they made their way to the car and Kurapica slid into the passenger seat while Leorio sat behind the wheel. The silence was kind of awkward at first, but then Leorio started telling Kurapica about some of the pranks he and the other med students pulled on their professors, and their antics were so ridiculous that the blond couldn't help but laugh a little.
Finally, Leorio glanced at him and said, "It's so good to see you, Kurapica."
The comment took the Kuruta by surprise, and he blinked. "Um," he said uncomfortably, "okay."
"It just is," Leorio insisted. He parked behind a little restaurant that looked mostly empty. "Here we are."
Kurapica got out of the car and slammed the door shut behind himself. Well, the place looked platonic enough. "Is the food good?" he wanted to know.
"Nah, brought you here cause I hate it," Leorio said with a teasing grin.
Kurapica shook his head, amused in spite of himself. "All right," he said and tilted his head at Leorio. "Lead the way."
"Sure thing, Your Highness," Leorio replied and Kurapica punched him lightly on the shoulder for that. They grinned at each other. Then Leorio wrapped his arm around Kurapica's shoulders and led him towards the door, not seeming to notice how the blond immediately tensed. It was casual, not romantic in the least, but it wasn't something Leorio would have done before. Kurapica had to talk to him, had to set more definite limits than had previously been established.
He just had no idea how he would go about that.