Author's Notes…
I'm not gonna kill Poe, ya'll, lol.
Falling for the Enemy
Chapter Thirty-Six
Blast from the Past
London.
It had been some time since Rey had been here—not that she was having a chance to really glance around. Ben had a firm grip on her wrist as he tugged her from boutique to boutique. He'd said they had to get her a proper wardrobe before they went anywhere near the castle. She couldn't exactly refute this, but the prices… It made her uncomfortable, to think of him spending money on her like that.
She reminded herself that she shouldn't. He'd told her to get used to it.
They went from store to store, spending no less than a few thousand pounds at each. Ben would snap his fingers (which she found really rude and told him so), and a helpful salesperson would come over. Then he'd demand to outfit her in whatever was the latest style. All Rey could do was smile in what she hoped was a pleasant way.
After the clothes, in which she'd worn an outfit out of one boutique at Ben's insistence, it was time for accessories. Hats, jewelry, sunglasses, purses, shoes. Between each place, their bags were loaded into the car. Rey had noticed a couple of men scurrying about—one had returned with what had to be cosmetics.
This purse is a year's worth of rent, Rey thought faintly. Yet there it was, dangling by the crook of her elbow.
As of now, she was standing on four inch stilettoes and retraining herself on walking with them, but that had been after her mani and pedi. They were open-toed.
To go with the classy black heels was an equally black dress, off the shoulders with sleeves that went a little bit past her elbow, the hem a few inches above the knee. A matching black hat with a white bow completed the ensemble. Rey wasn't sure how it would look with her calves so exposed without tights or hose—they were muscular because of how in shape she was—but Ben assured her there was nothing to worry about. She was beautiful.
"Do you like that one?" Ben asked, pointing to the purse.
"I—yes?" Rey replied. Liking it and wanting to carry around something that expensive were two entirely different things. She was still amazed that she hadn't messed up the Valentino dress somehow. She wasn't known for her grace.
She caught a glimpse of herself in a mirror. A salon had straightened her hair and pulled it back in an elegant clip. It left her neck exposed, the hat really illuminating this. And her glasses were what she had heard a few Americans refer to as "hater blockers." They had huge lenses.
Rey's head was whirling.
They spent the whole day shopping. Casual clothes, nice clothes, fancy event clothes, swim wear, anything and everything. It was essentially an entirely new wardrobe. Rey wasn't sure if she should feel a little resentful at that—shouldn't she be able to keep some of her things?
But then she thought of the tabloids and supposed she couldn't.
"You haven't picked out a single thing for yourself," Ben remarked. It was nearing dinner, and Rey was ravenous. They'd barely enjoyed their lunch before Ben was on the move again.
"Whatever is cheapest in here," Rey said. "That's what I want." She pointed to some paraphernalia under a glass display.
"That's a keychain," Ben replied blankly.
"It's a cupcake keychain," she corrected him.
"It's three hundred dollars roughly."
She knew, and it pained her. "It's the cheapest thing I've seen all day."
"Is this always going to be an argument?" Ben folded his arms. "I told you—you have to get used to this. Don't be shy. Whatever you want, it's yours."
"But I want this keychain," Rey insisted. "And I haven't complained this entire time, have I?"
"No," he muttered, "but the expression on your face said it all for you."
She wet her lips and fought for patience. "I'm getting used to it, all right? You have to give me a chance. It's not going to happen overnight." She found most of this quite excessive.
"Tell me something, then." Ben took her hand, turned it over. He drew his fingers over her palm. "There's not a small part of you that's enjoying this?" He looked up at her from beneath his lashes, knowing how devastatingly handsome he was when he did that.
"Maybe," she hedged, narrowing her eyes. She couldn't keep the smile touching the corners of her mouth off her face. "But you know there's a color other than black, right?"
"Ben Solo, I thought that was you!"
Rey froze, her hand extended to the woman who had unlocked the giant cupcake keychain for her. But it wasn't the woman before her who had spoken. No, it was someone behind her, and so, slowly she turned, not knowing what to expect.
Tall, leggy blonde woman.
Tall, leggy blonde woman who was making sex eyes at Ben.
The real kicker?
She was so damned gorgeous, she belonged on the cover of a magazine. In fact, Rey had no doubt in her mind that this woman modeled.
"Elena," Ben said.
Elena batted her lashes, her blue eyes the color of the sky. The slight eyeliner around her eyes only accentuated this fact. "How long has it been?"
"Don't know," Ben said curtly. His hand wrapped around Rey's elbow. He tugged her to the cashier, where many of their imminent purchases were laid out in preparation.
Elena smiled sultrily, leaning against the counter, facing the prince. Rey wanted to punch her in the face. She stayed quiet, unsure of how Ben would respond to any interference from Rey's end. He could handle it himself.
That was when Elena put her hand on Ben's forearm. "I missed you," she half-sang.
Rey stepped between her boyfriend and the model. She braced a hand on the edge of the counter, smiling up at the blonde. The woman was so thin, she probably lived off celery and gum. She had bigger breasts than Rey, and she was infinitely more beautiful, but she was not going to hit on Ben.
"You seem confused," Rey stated, removing her sunglasses with her free hand. She could feel Ben's chest at her back, he was so close. The cashier hovered awkwardly, uncertain of what to do. Rey couldn't blame her—she would have felt the same.
"Confused?" Elena echoed with a tight smile. "Whatever do you mean, dear?"
"What I mean is that Ben Solo belongs to me and only me." Rey barely managed to keep the growl out of the words. A cordial tone was the best way to go. "I know the memo hasn't reached everyone yet, so I'll give you a pass this time."
Elena scoffed. Her eyes flitted to the man behind Rey. "Cute, Ben. Feisty and the complete opposite of me. And you belong to her? Funny. You told me you didn't belong to anyone."
"Things change," Ben said softly in that deadly way of his. It was a warning to back the hell off.
But, of course, Elena didn't get the message. That, or she chose to ignore it. "Things don't change that much," she drawled with a confident smile. Her eyes shifted to Rey's. "Don't let him fool you. He only looks out for himself. What's that saying?" She twirled a strand of golden hair around her finger. "You can't teach an old dog new tricks?"
"You should go," Rey said with as much firmness as she could muster and still be taken seriously. She was well-aware of the fact that, while she remained grumpy by nature, she rarely looked menacing.
Elena ignored her. "And you've gotten the girl to speak for you, too. Sweet."
"Elena," Ben said, his voice now as cool as ice. "Rey can speak for herself. If it was up to me, you'd be on your ass on the street. So, make up your mind: go on your own, or I'll make you go."
The blonde tsked, but she unpeeled herself from the counter. As she passed Rey, she knelt enough to whisper into her ear. "Nothing ever holds his attention for long, bitch. Enjoy it while it lasts."
Rey's fingers curled into a fist around the keychain.
The front door opened, letting in the sounds of the city. It swung shut, and all was quiet again except for the music playing overhead.
"What did she say to you?" Ben demanded.
"Nothing," Rey replied. Ben was ready to argue—his mouth was opening, anger on his face. Anger that they'd had to deal with it at all. But Rey didn't want to deal with it right then. "Look, I'll take this bag, too," she said, depositing another expensive purse on the counter. "In fact, I'll take one of each. And some of these clutches."
Rey walked to the wall with the saleswoman. "These," she said, gesturing to the top shelf. She hummed and reached over, grabbing more summer scarves. "Those gray boots in the window—do you have them in a size 42 or 43?"
"I can see, ma'am!" the saleswoman replied, eager to cut the tension in the air. Working on a commission also helped. "Anything else?"
"I'll take one in every color," Rey replied. "And those black booties over there."
The saleswoman—April, by her nametag—hustled off to get the shoes.
"You're trying to distract me," Ben said thunderously.
"I can see it's not working," Rey replied. "And it's not distracting you so much as appeasing you. You wanted me to get more involved with these purchases, right?"
"Tell me what she said," he demanded.
"Nothing I can't handle," Rey said. She waited until they were outside, packing the bags into the trunk with the others to ask what was really on her mind. "So, who was she? Your last fling?"
Ben pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, a fist on his hip.
"I know she wasn't your girlfriend. She made that very clear." Rey slipped into the car, and Ben wasn't far behind her. Both of them buckled up. "Maybe you should warn me about your flings before they parade themselves right in front of you."
"Are you angry?" Ben asked in disbelief.
"I'm not angry," Rey replied. She yanked off her hat and tugged on the straps of her heels. They were beginning to hurt. "All right, I'm a little angry."
"You knew what you—"
"Yes, I knew what I was getting into!" Rey snapped. "I—I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at her. She didn't care at all that we were clearly together. But then, maybe she doesn't know we're in a relationship. Or maybe she doesn't believe it. Either way, it's unacceptable."
"Well, what do you want me to—?"
"Tell me about them," Rey said.
Ben looked at her for a long moment. "No."
"Tell me about them, or I'll just assume the worst," Rey replied. "If you want this to work, we have to be honest with one another. I don't want to be surprised again. We can't appear weak as a unit."
It was perhaps this last statement, more than any other, that got through to him.
"You're right," he grumbled reluctantly. "But I don't want to hurt you, Rey."
"I know you've got the reputation of a man-whore," Rey said. "I don't need details. Just give me their names. I've got a good memory."
Ben hesitated.
"Fine," Rey said more sarcastically. "Tell me about the ones more inclined to call me a bitch."
"Is that what she said?!" Ben barked.
"Ben, tell me," Rey stressed. "I don't like being in the dark. You wouldn't, either."
"I don't want to know who you had sex with," Ben said in disgust. Not at her, just at the idea of it.
"The only person who would ever bother you is in the intensive care unit," Rey said flatly. "Why are you being like this? Why can't you tell me?"
Ben pressed a hand over his eyes.
"Secrets?" Rey asked.
"No secrets," he mumbled. "I don't… want you to look at me differently."
"I won't," she promised.
"You can't know that," he said with a bitter chuckle.
"Don't do this, Ben," she whispered. "We've made so much progress. These women aren't going to magically vanish. I'm about to be in the limelight. I need to know. I need to not be caught unprepared."
Ben released a breath, his jaw clenched. He shook his head, then leaned back against the leather seat. "There were a… few that I tried to make it work with."
"And?"
"And I don't know," he sighed. "Fuck."
She didn't understand why he was being so reluctant. "Ben, why are you—?"
"I hate talking about my past," he said frankly. "I know—I know I need to. I just…" He looked up at her. "I care about you, Rey. More than I've ever cared about anything. I don't want to lose that."
Rey knew how much it must have cost for him to admit that. She took his hand in her own and lowered her head. "Everything is going to get dragged up by the media," she murmured. "Wouldn't you rather I know it from you?"
"Promise me," he said. "Promise me this won't break us."
"Ben, what did you expect when—?"
"I know!" he snapped, frustrated at himself. His fingers were trembling, and he took them back. "I know. I told you to know what you were going into. I knew this would come up eventually. I just hate dealing with it."
"You're making mountains out of molehills," she whispered. "Ben, there's nothing to fear. What is this really about?"
He swallowed so hard she could see his throat working.
"…It's not the girls, is it?" Rey breathed.
Ben gathered his composure. He sat up, his forearms on his thighs, his hands clasped between his knees. He couldn't bring himself to look at her again. His eyes remained steadfastly on the floor of the cab.
"It's not the girls," he said. "It's about… what might come out from them—maybe in retaliation to… seeing we're in a relationship, I don't know."
"What might come out?" she asked.
He looked her dead in the eye and let it all out in one go. "I'm a dark son of a bitch, Rey. And… my sex life…" He cleared his throat delicately. "Nothing ever ended well. At all. And I just realized how they might try to hurt you with—with what they know."
"What do they know?" Rey asked. What…?
"I've done some—super kinky shit. And—and when I was with a woman before… I'd get—I don't know, obsessed for a time. When I was done, I was done. I cut them off."
Rey nodded slowly to show she was listening.
"So they may tell you lies—or they may come to the press with shit, I guess I'll have to have them shut up with money."
"Lies about your sex life?"
"About how I was in my sex life," Ben said.
"What, are we talking 50 Shades of Gray?" Rey asked tentatively.
"50 Shades of Gray is nothing," Ben replied. "I liked to… hurt my partners. Sexually. Not—they liked it." He buried his face in his hands. "It wasn't anything anyone hadn't agreed to beforehand. Shit, I never cared about any of that before. If it had come out, it wouldn't have mattered. It's different now."
"If—if it comes out, we'll handle it," Rey said.
Ben glanced at her. "Did you not hear me? About my sex life?"
"I heard you," she replied. "But you aren't that way with me. Do you want to hurt me?"
"Not in that way," he whispered.
"How did you hurt them?"
"It depended on what they wanted. Some of them…" He couldn't bring himself to continue. Then he leaned into Rey's ear, and he whispered all sorts of things that he'd gotten up to. Once he was done, he pulled back. "This is why I'm worried you'll get—"
"If they're going to eat me up in the media," Rey said, "they're going to do it whether or not you led a kinky sex life. They're all models, mostly. And I'm… me. That right there is more than enough ammunition."
"Yes…" Ben said reluctantly.
"Look…" She took his hand again, holding it between both of hers. "A woman asked you to punch her during sex. You had safe words. You… To me, I suppose it seems like you—I don't know… Like you vented all of your negative feelings through this sort of sex with these sorts of women."
He was quiet.
"Do you feel those dark urges with me?"
"No," he said, looking her in the eye. "No. I—nothing… I would never hurt you. I don't want to hurt you. I would never do anything you didn't want to do."
She squeezed his hand. "Then tell me their names. Tell me about this side of your life. You told me about your family—now tell me about this. I promise… I don't look at you any differently." She tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. "You didn't think this would come out?"
"I've just had so much on my mind," he admitted. "I honestly—I've been so happy. I didn't give it any thought."
"You've been happy?" Rey smiled. "Really?"
"Yes," he said, somewhat afraid. "Haven't you?"
"Yeah." She kissed him. "Yeah, I have. That's why I know this is going to work. And, Ben?"
He gave her a questioning raise of an eyebrow.
She placed her lips near his ear. "It's certainly not on that level, but… I'm kinky, too."
She heard him suck in a breath.
Grinning, she got settled in her seat. "We've got to eat dinner. Maybe you can tell me more on the way to Alderaan?" Her grin softened into a smile. "We're in this together, okay?"
He drew her into a grateful kiss.
"Okay," he said.