A/N: Hey, what you got to hide? (I'll Stand By You - The Pretenders)

DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and its characters. TStabler© owns the narrative, dialogue, and plot of this story.

"Cap," Elliot chewed on his lip, "You're making us nervous. What's this about?"

Cragen huffed. He knew he had been dragging out the silence, prolonging the inevitable. "You know, uh, a lot comes out in those meetings," he wrung his hands together and let out another hard breath. "It's supposed to be anonymous, I never...I never put two and two together until, uh, during one session she…" he darted his eyes from the floor to Olivia's concerned face. "We all had to talk about why we thought we drank, what we were trying to forget or hide. She told us all...about the night she…" he closed his eyes tightly. "The minute she started talking, I knew it was your mother. It was all just like her original statement, every detail…"

"I really can't imagine she'd ever forgotten anything about that night, so..." she looked over at Elliot, a silent question in her eyes.

He knew how it would look, he knew what it would mean, but he moved and sat beside her anyway, hooking his arm around her and pulling her into him. "Go on," he gave Cragen an almost challenging look as he nodded.

Cragen stared at the two of them for a moment. He swallowed another hard gulp, took a breath, and then said, "Once I realized it was her, a lot of the other things she'd said...when I realized she was talking about you, that she meant you the whole time, I…" he choked on his words, tears filling his weathered eyes and slowly rolling down his aged cheeks. He laughed at himself for displaying such emotion, but he sniffled, shook his head, and then spoke again. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't know how cruel she was to you for so long."

"No one did," her soft response was spoken into Elliot's shoulder. "It was supposed to stay that way."

"Um, the, uh...the last meeting she came to," Cragen cleared his throat and wiped his eyes, "She said...she told us how proud she was of you, that you were the reason she was in treatment. And then she said...she said she wanted to be the kind of mother that you deserved, and the kind of grandmother…" he narrowed his eyes at Olivia. "She said you had kids. Now, is there something you're not putting on your file, or…"

Olivia sat up straight and interrupted him. "She said what?" the shock evident in her voice.

"See, that's," Cragen wagged a finger and let out a nervous laugh. "That's the thing, I knew...I knew she wasn't being honest, but hearing her talk about you and the family she thinks you have, the way her eyes lit up and how happy she was...were you the one lying to her? Maybe trying to make her feel…"

"No," the harshness of her snap gave proof she was offended. "Jesus, I had a horrible childhood with her, I wouldn't willingly let her think she had an opportunity to do even more damage to the next generation!"

Elliot looked at her and brushed a palm over her head, soothing her, and he took a long, deep breath. "Serena…" he exhaled with a tremble, and he looked from Olivia to Cragen. "She meant my kids. She was talking about me, um...us." He raised his shoulders and tilted his head. "We, uh...we spent some time together, all of us, and, ya know, she obviously knew…" he paused. He could still keep Cragen guessing, keep them safe. "Serena knew how close me and Liv are, so she may have thought of my kids are her grandkids since Liv…"

"Thinks of them as her own, too," Cragen nodded, understanding. "Is there...is there more to it than that?"

Olivia laid a hand over Elliot's knee, squeezing as she closed her eyes in disappointed realization. "Well, what else did she say?"

Cragen smiled, warmth and sadness edging his lips. "She said she was thankful she was sober when she met the man her little girl was gonna marry, and that she didn't scare him away the way she had a hundred times before, that she knew her daughter was safe and happy, and...so loved." He didn't stop the tears this time, because he saw the way they touched, tenderly with a profound intimacy that proved that what used to be only a small suspicion had become absolute truth. "I came here tonight…" he took another shallow breath. "Because I wanted to tell you that. You needed to know that she didn't hate you, she didn't resent you, and that she...wanted so badly to…" he lost his words, his heart breaking like thin glass as he saw Olivia drop her head back into Elliot's body.

Elliot braced her head against him and pressed his lips to her crown, whispering something Cragen couldn't hear. He felt her nod and then looked up at his captain. "Thanks," he said. "You, uh...you could've told us at work. You didn't have to come all the way..."

"I heard stories from her that made me despise her," Cragen broke in, his eyes suddenly a bit more narrow. "Made me want to break protocol and tell her who I was, that I knew who she was, and that I knew you. God, I wanted to make her regret ever hurting you, Olivia. Make her sorry for never getting to know who you really are. But then she…" he sniffled. "When she stopped talking about the past and started talking about the relationship she had with you, now... I wondered if maybe I was the one who didn't really know you."

"Oh, really? Now you're laying a guilt trip on her?" Elliot nearly growled, tightening his protective hold on Olivia. "You think now is a good time to pull the captain card and make her choose…"

"Elliot, please," Cragen held up both hands, palms out, eyes closed, "I'm not. I promise, I'm not. I just meant that...I know there's a line. A pretty thick line that shouldn't be crossed. I'm your boss, end of story, but...and this goes for both of you, all right?" He ran a hand over the top of his head. "I've tried to keep you just over that line, distance myself, remain objective." He licked his lips and cleared his throat. "I don't really know either of you outside the station, and while that may be exactly how it's supposed to be, it's not...it's not how I want it anymore."

"What are you trying to say?" Olivia asked, her head up now. She shifted a bit, unsure of whether or not she was about to be fired because her mother unknowingly gave away her biggest secrets in a moment of clarity.

"Listening to your mother," Cragen began, and he scooted forward on the couch, "The light in her eyes that, let's face it, wasn't there for most of her life...was so bright in those last few weeks. I realized it was because her newfound family gave her a reason to live, a reason to hold on, and yes, she slipped up, she made a tragic mistake…" he shrugged. "Tonight, I had to be the one to tell the rest of the group that your mother was gone. It affected the whole conversation, turned the entire planned session around. One of the questions we had to answer tonight…"

"You were at a meeting tonight?" Olivia asked, understanding his urgency now.

Cragen nodded. "In light of her death, we were asked to think about our legacy, what we wanted to leave behind and who we wanted to leave it with," he said. "We were asked...who it was that kept us all from picking up a bottle and giving up. I didn't know, right away. I didn't have an immediate answer."

"I do," Elliot said, pressing another soft kiss to Olivia's temple.

Seeing it made Cragen smile again, but it short-lived. His smile faded into a flat line of respite. "I don't have anyone. My...my wife has been gone for years, we never had children...but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I'm fighting this disease...for you."

Olivia gasped softly, a hand shot to her mouth and cupped over her lips as her nails dug deeper into Elliot's knee.

Elliot dropped a hand over hers and stroked the side of her palm with his thumb, a knot forming in his stomach. "Her?"

"Both of you," Cragen corrected with a single nod of his head. "The people I feel the most protective of, the ones that make me determined to keep myself in check and be the best possible man and cop I can be...it's the two of you." He cleared his throat again, it was suddenly dry and terribly itchy. "I think of you both as...well, I guess it's the way you think of Elliot's kids as your own, I...I think of the both of you as mine. I needed to come here tonight to tell you, Olivia, that I know you've lost the only parent you've ever known, and Elliot...you lost your father when you needed him the most. I want you to know...you're both fully grown adults. This sounds so silly, actually saying it out loud, but you...you've both got a father, if you ever...need one."

"Cap," Elliot wheezed softly, sentiment in the slight whisper. The knot in his stomach twisted tighter and he shot a balled fist to his mouth, closing his eyes. With his other hand, he spread his fingers a bit, looping them between Olivia's, and clutched them closed around hers. This was definitely not what he expected and he wasn't sure how to feel. He swallowed hard and exhales slowly. "How thick is that line you're trying not to cross, exactly?" he asked, sending a grateful but severe look toward Cragen. "Where does the father end, and the boss begin?"

Cragen knew what he was trying to determine, and he sat forward a bit, blinking away the last of the tears that had formed but not fallen. "You haven't broken any rules, here, Elliot. She's here because she needs you, her partner, her friend. Right?" He knew it must've been more than that. He had heard Serena say something about marriage. But he couldn't let it be real, yet. Not just yet.

"Yeah," Elliot scoffed. "Right." His eyes rolled slightly as he shook his head the tiniest bit.

Cragen sniffled again. He sucked in a breath as he rose off the couch. "And as long as I still don't really know either of you beyond our squadroom walls, I don't...really know what's going on here, so there's no need for me to interfere." He offered a smile, shielding the slight hurt at the almost cold reaction his honest admission had received.

Olivia stood, then, too, and unintentionally pulled Elliot up with her. "Wait, you...you can't just unload all of that and then leave," she uttered, stepping closer to him. "And I can't...I mean, what you said about…" she shook her head, fighting back the emotions that were threatening to come to a full boil. "You really think of us as...your family?"

Cragen nodded with an unsure tilt of his head. "I can't explain it, but it's true."

Olivia wriggled her fingers out of Elliot's and moved a bit more, tentatively hugging Cragen, and she whispered, "You have no idea what that means to me."

With a relieved sigh, Cragen hugged her back and said, "I meant what I said. If either of you ever need anything…" he leaned back and looked into her eyes. "Anything," he repeated with more finality, "You just need to ask."

"What if…" she eyed Elliot for a moment and couldn't help but smile. "What if we're not ready to ask you?" She turned to look back at Cragen and bit her lip.

"Then maybe...wait a while before you ask me," Cragen replied, smiling at her. "Just letting you know that you can." He turned and held out a hand toward Elliot. "The father will probably answer before the captain can argue."

Elliot shook Cragen's hand, but then gripped it a tugged him into a manly, one-armed hug, but so much emotion lied in it. He slapped Cragen's shoulder twice, gave a sniffle of his own, and backed up. "Thanks, Jefe," he said, smirking at the older man.

Cragen grinned back, gave Olivia another small hug, and said, "Uh, an order...from the father and the boss," he pointed a finger at him as he picked his hat up off the coffee table. "Stay home. I'm not calling you in, you're not going near the station. Not today."

Olivia nodded, her eyes filling with more tears, but ones that wouldn't fall into existence.

"I'll be there, both times, and I've called in a favor. Tomorrow, the department will be giving your mother a full honor guard," he said to her.

Olivia's eyes widened. "Cap, she...she wasn't a cop, how is that…"

"It's only right," Cragen stopped her. "She wasn't a cop, but she gave birth to one of the best in the business." He winked at her. "It's the least...the least I could do." He waved once again on his way to the door, and he saw himself out making sure to close it right behind him.

"Shit," Elliot breathed, running his body into Olivia's.

She held him back, tightly and closely. "That was...God, that was…"

"Unexpected," he said, and then he looked down at her and smiled. "But pretty fucking wonderful." He kissed her once and then quickly left her to run and lock the door. He grabbed her hand and led her back up the stairs, back to their bedroom.

They were comfortably silent, letting Cragen's words resonate and the reality of the day ahead fall onto them. He practically lifted her into the bed and gently crawled on top of her, kissing her softly but deeply as he maneuvered the covers up and over them. He rolled to the side, keeping her attached to her lips, and pressed his forehead to hers as she pulled away. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too," she filtered back. "But...why did my mother tell her support group that...that we're getting married?"

Elliot sighed, closed his eyes, and dragged his fingertips up and down Olivia's arm as he answered her. "Because I asked her permission to ask you to marry me."

Her small gasp caused his eyes to open, but she didn't pull away from him at all. She stared at him, forehead touching his. "What? When? Why?"

"Two weeks ago, she called," he said softly, still slowly caressing her arm, calming her into drowsiness as he spoke. "You were in the shower, so I talked to her for a while until you could. She asked me once what my intentions were, and at the time I was so stunned by the question I...I mean, I was honest. I told her I would honor, defend and protect you, and love you so fucking much. But this time I told her that I have every intention of doing it all for the rest of my life. I asked her if she would let me be the one that gets to do that."

"What did she say?" She nuzzled his nose with hers, snuggling closer to him.

He smiled, remembering. "She told me she remembered what I told her the day we had to take her home from Central. About me being a Marine, so when I make a promise, I keep it. She said as long as I made you the same exact promise I made to the Corps, I could marry you a thousand times."

She kissed his lips, his words hitting her heart and soul. "What promise?"

He moved even closer, his entire body pressing against hers, his heart beating against her chest, his right leg hooked over her. "Semper Fi," he whispered. He made sure she was gazing right into his eyes. "Always faithful, Kid." He closed his eyes. "Always."

She nodded, her whole being vehemently promising the same thing, and she kissed him as her own eyes slid shut. Her last thought as she drifted away was directed to her mother. Something she never thought she'd ever say to the woman: Thank you, Mom.

A/N: The wake. The funeral. The repercussions. And an uncovered secret that no one saw coming. Next?