Laisse moi rêver - Lara Fabian

(Let me dream)

Dean was confused. Dean didn't like being confused; it tended to make him angry.

Honestly, he had no idea what happened.

Or more like, he could probably sort this out. Could have easily, if it hadn't happened all at once.

One second he had Sam and Jo safely behind him, Pestilence coming their way in his hepatitis inducing, mucus colored, car.

Then a damn kid came out of nowhere on his bike.

The next thing he knew, Sam was sprawled against a tree and Jo was gutted with a torn part of the sickly green car, protecting the kid with her body. Dean had jumped at her side, taking her body in his arms, thus easing the child from under her. As soon as he was out, he ran off, howling in fright. Forgot his bike on site. He couldn't have been more than five.

It's a trauma that would probably follow him his whole life. Sadly, Dean didn't have enough of his mind to feel sorry for the boy. Maybe later.

He tried to take Jo's pulse but there was too much blood, his fingers kept on slipping on her wrist. Too much blood for her to be alive.

Suddenly, before Dean had time to snap out his shocked state to call for any help, Lucifer was there. Lucifer of any people! Not that he was really folk.

And now, he had a girlfriend that wasn't dead and a collapsed brother that was the only one who could have called the Devil.

Call the Devil for help! Dammit! He sure hoped Sam hadn't done something as stupid as trading his life to the Devil for Jo's or Dean would kill him!

First thing first, he made sure Jo was Ok, helped her to her feet and gave her the car keys. Lucifer was right; they better not stay too long. Then he went to take Sam's pulse.

The relief from feeling a rhythmic pulse almost knocked him out. Sheer stubbornness, and the sense of urgency settled in his gut, were what kept him still moving. Sammy's pulse was steady but weak.

There was not external damage he could see, but Sam had crashed into that damn tree pretty hard, so he couldn't entirely rule out some internal damage. Since he couldn't do anything about it, Dean busied himself with waking Sam up and haul him into the waiting car.

Jo had left the engine running but hadn't stayed behind the wheel. She was wandering around the fuming wreak, using a branch as a stick. When Sam was safely settled in Baby's back seat, Dean turned fully toward her, ready to enjoin her to hop into the car. She was dragging something out of the embers with her stick, a lump of flesh.

Dean's stomach squirmed a little as she took the thing with bare hands. When she came back to him, she was holding the ring.

_ Figured it would do not good to let this lay around. Imagine it suffice to put it on to become the next horseman.

Dean approved, hugged and kissed her briefly and they took off. Sam was barely conscious, for the second time in as many days, and it worried the big brother.

He couldn't help but also throw brief glances toward Jo. She was pale, but breathing. He was surprised she wouldn't be more curious about how she got out of there unscathed.

_ I'm fine Dean." She finally breathed, a bit annoyed, a bit weary.

_ You weren't five minutes ago.

_ I know. I was dying and you were screaming in my ears. I'm not sure I was conscious enough to see who healed me though." She added absentmindedly.

His heart made a backflip, and his throat constricted. She was dying. He knew she was. Damn, he was holding her slack corps in his arms as she was bleeding out in front of him. It had felt like losing Sam all over again. A person he loved mortally wounded right in front of him and being helpless. Sam wouldn't have turned his back on Jake if Dean hadn't distracted him. Jo wouldn't have been caught in the blast if Dean hadn't triggered the detonator.

He felt a hand on his forearm, soothing his too taut nerves. Jo was looking at him with worries, silently asking him to come back to the present. And she was right; he still had a mission to carry on: make sure Sam was, or would be, OK.

He could collapse later. When Sam would be fine. When Jo would be safely back home. When the millions year old fight between the Devil ad his pigheaded brother would end.

_ Dean?

Sam soft whisper from the backseat had him release a breathe Dean wasn't aware he was holding. A quick peek in the rearview mirror told him Sam was trying to untangle himself from under Dean's jacket and straighten up. He hissed a few times on the way.

He was hurt.

_ Jo?" Sam asked again, when mostly straightened up.

_ I'm here Sam, and alive. Thanks for calling for help.

Dean disagreed very much with that; and was about to voice it when Jo's hand pressed heavier on his arm. He shot her a dirty look she answered to with a soft smile.

So that's what it was like to be a boyfriend? Indulging one's girl to make her happy with you, no matter how much you disagree with her point of view?

That sucks.

A bit.

Not enough for him to want to draw back anyway. She got him good by now. If he weren't so worried about Sam in the backseat, he would probably have pulled over and made out with her by now. Even made love to her if she was ok with it. Just to make sure and certain she was there. Release the excess relief she was still breathing.

She still had her hand on his arm. It wasn't enough, but it would do until they tuck Sam in bed and get a second room.

_ How did you get the Devil to help, anyway?" He did try to refrain from sounding too angry, but he needed to know.

_ I didn't promise him anything more than what we were already committed to." Sam half shrugged. "He said something about a tale with djinn and three wishes; that it was our last one. Now, we have to deliver our end of the bargain. That's all.

_ And the Devil suddenly became nice. As if I'm gonna believe that.

Sam hissed in pain again as he changed position in the cramped backseat. Then dismissed Dean's last outburst.

_ Got any idea about how to get to see Michael face to face?" He asked instead. "I have one to get him to listen, but it won't be any use if we can't get to him in the first place.

That must be the lamest change of subject Dean ever heard of. But... well... he could understand that Sam would be anxious to find Michael as soon as possible. Before they lose Gabriel for good.

Dean mulled for a while about his answer, he had the very beginning of an idea, a very farfetched one. It was supposed to be some kind of last resort. But it also looked like they didn't have much time to find better ideas.

And Dean was about sure of one thing: he would lose Sam if they didn't manage to get Gabriel back. He loathed thinking this, but it was clear as day; Sam wouldn't survive one more lover's death, especially this one.

Sam closed the door behind him with a relieved sigh. Dean was almost literally hovering and, even if it always felt nice to know Dean cared enough to hover, it was a bit of a burden right now.

After flushing the toilet, he dropped his shirt and drew his tee up, his lower back has been killing him ever since his wrestling with a tree. He made a face at the revealed flesh; he had deep dark bruises spreading from his buttocks to his mid back. He was lucky not to have broken his spine. And was starting to wonder if he hadn't busted a kidney or both.

It would give some sense to some of Lucifer's gibberish. If he had kidney failure, Sam would be on a clock and better hurry to "deliver".

He sighed and dressed back up; before Dean decided he was taking too much time and asked to see the damages. Sam had already caught too many concerned glances. He'll need to get to a pharmacy and find some balm if he wanted to avoid inquisition. He did swallow an Ibuprofen and got out of the bathroom.

Maybe he shouldn't have worried too much about Dean getting all mother hen over him.

He was welcomed by one of the cutest scene his brother ever offered. Jo was holding both his hands, fingers intertwined, leaning on him. They were sharing leisure kisses, both with idiotic, relieved smiles.

Sam smiled too. He was happy for Dean, for them both, really. It reminded him of his debuts with Jess.

He missed her. How simple life had been in her arms. The little things she did that made his days brighter. All the laughing in the kitchen when they discovered they were both as bad at cooking. She only knew how to bake cookies, he knew of salads because that didn't need any actual cooking. They were supposed to take classes together.

They never had the time.

And any little hope he harbored at building some relatively peaceful and stable life with Gabriel had melted away by now.

He sent a playful wink in his (slightly embarrassed) brother's direction, took his laptop and claimed he was heading for the nearest library, borrowing the car's key in the move. They were a thrown shirt away from getting to bed and Sam's need for pain relief supply wouldn't take enough of his time.

So library would do. Or a long ride. He hadn't decided yet.

First: pharmacy. His back was literally killing him.

Dean was a bit worried about Sam. He didn't like not having had time to check on him before he left.

Guess he'll have to trust Sam to take care of himself. And focus on what Joanna's hands were doing to his belt.

God she was alive!

And needy. And shirtless.

His hands were soon on her waist, his lips tracing hotly the smooth skin where a piece of metal was a mere hour ago. No wound, no scarred tissue, nothing. It was as if nothing had happened. Except in their memories.

Soon he was on his knees before her, his face buried into her stomach. Trembling and kissing. She had her hands threading through his hair, not trying to hold his head or else. Simply there.

_ Dean, you've gotta lay off the hair gel. It always gets my hands squelchy.

Yeah, sure. If it was what she wanted. But right now, what he wanted was to make out. And maybe a bit more if Jo would. She looked like up to.

_ Bed?

_ The drawer will be fine first. Then bed. Then... depends..." She got him out of his shirt while listing her choices. And he was so all for that plan.

The drawer wasn't any more steady than the table. Soon they heard some angry shouts from the other side of the wooden wall. Asking them, in no pleasant terms, to shush the hell up. Jo started to moan even louder in between the bangs of the furniture, and even added some dirty talk when their charming neighbor gave voice again.

Dean wasn't sure if he found that more funny or exciting.

A door slammed nearby. Jo winked mischievously at him before dragging him back into the move. Now that the disturbance was gone, they could focus in enjoying each other. On the drawer, then the bed.

Dean wished they had spent a little more cash and found a place with a bath. Shower sex was a bit complicated.

So they ended up sprawled over the bed's cover, Dean's head near the headboard, Jo's on his stomach, lying perpendicular to him. She was playing with his hand, spend and out of breath.

It was a nice change of setting, being able to spend time cuddling, not always needing to perform. Like the time they broke up in so much giggles when their lovemaking got Jo's TV on staring two otters in their own copulating session, they just couldn't go on.

Great night of sex had ended in some TV late show binging, mocking the stupidity of the world. One of his bestest nights.

_ You think Sam will come back soon?" She was now wandering his hand between her breasts and belly.

_ Not until I tell him the path's clear.

_ So he did go out to give us time? How weird.

_ That's the kind of thing that happens when you grow up with one single room to share between three men. You learn quick not to pay too much attention to some things.

Like stepping away when the other gets lucky, a shower a tad too long, or the shifting of sheets in the middle of the night. They stopped thinking about it long ago, it was just how it was. Especially with two growing teenagers.

They let minutes pass, enjoying their proximity and the warmth. Jo was twining their fingers together now.

_ Sapphire and Emerald.

_ What?

_ I don't like diamonds. They are cold and pretentious. So if you ever think about offering me some jewelry, go for sapphire and emerald.

Where did that come from? He tried to remember what day they were. Around the twentieth of February? They had obviously foregone Valentine.

Was it that? Did he have to make up for it?

_ Dean?

She was looking up to him, from her spot on his abs.

_ I love you.

It made his heart skip a beat, then go back furiously and his mouth go dry. He swallowed a few times, unable to answer, and hating him for it. Because, let's face it: when people say such words, they expect to hear them back. And she will draw back if he didn't man up and say it. He did feel that way too, shouldn't be so hard to goddam say it.

Instead, she smiled at him, and pulled his hand further down her body.

He rolled over her: that he knew how to respond to. She kissed him as deep as his hand was between her tight. Then he stopped thinking and panicking to simply enjoy them being alive.

It was only much later, in the middle of the night, between Sam's snores and Jo's soft breath that Dean realized; she was toying with his fingers when she brought up the jewelry subject. His left hand where he was wearing his mum's ring.

She was saying jewelry not to pressure him.

She was thinking about a ring.

And it both scared and elated him. He loved her. But he was pretty certain he was no husband material.

He was just a high school drop-out, with five bucks and a car to his name. How would he provide for a home, a wife, and everything needed?

He wasn't even sure he could ever come back to this kind of life. And one thing he knew for sure was that he couldn't hunt with Jo by his side. It might look sexist; he knew she was able to fend for herself. But after today, he couldn't be able to see her in harm's way and concentrate on getting the job done.

That's what nearly killed her today. If not for Sam calling out to Lucifer, she would be dead.