No Matter of Chance
By AmboDriver
Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with these "If/Then" alternative versions of characters that I adore. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.
A/N: Thanks again for your comments and PMs. They are wonderful.
While we won't actually see what Arizona wrote to Carlos, you'll get hints of it through the next two chapters. But it's her chance to go all Good Man in a Storm on him, of course. I liked having a few parallels to their real story.
And here's the last little sexy time before the big super sexy time. Hope you enjoy it.
Oh, and yes, I'm opening myself up for more "but they haven't slept together yet" complaints. Go for it. There are only 2 more chapters to get through before the biggie.
Chapter 36
Arizona smiled as she drained the last of her wine glass. "You know, Callie, you've really turned me on to wine."
Callie smiled, a little shyly at first but then it turned decidedly sexier. "I hope that's not the only thing I've turned you on to."
Arizona's eyebrow rose at the suggestion. "Oh, there might be one or two other things," she whispered as she crawled on her hands and knees along the couch until she was face to face with Callie, their lips only a few centimeters apart. "You're a huge turn on, for example."
"Oh?" Callie asked as she took one finger and ran it around Arizona's lips, but pulled it back when the blonde tried to capture the digit between her teeth.
"And a huge tease, too," Arizona added before grabbing Callie's wrist so she couldn't escape and then sucking her finger into her mouth. She spent long seconds just teasing it, first with her lips and then with the tip of her tongue. She smiled without releasing the finger when Callie's eyes rolled closed and she moaned. Then, with a light rake of the skin across her teeth, she finally let it free.
"I'm not the only one," Callie said as she let out a deep breath that seemed to make her whole body shudder.
"Me? No, I'm innocent," Arizona said with a light laugh as she moved to straddle Callie's lap. "Totally innocent," she breathed out as she went down and began kissing along Callie's jawline. When Callie moaned, Arizona's stomach flipped and she instantly moved up to put her lips next to Callie's ear. "But in eight days, I promise I won't be so innocent."
Callie gasped as she turned her head to capture Arizona's lips with her own. She reached up to wrap her fingers in Arizona's hair and pulled her down with her until they were lying on the couch, Arizona on top of Callie. "God, I hope not," she finally whispered against Arizona's lips before returning to the kiss.
Arizona quickly got lost in the feel of her body against Callie's and their lips and tongues exploring each other. She was so lost in it that she didn't even consciously realize when Callie's hands went under her shirt and slid up her sides. It wasn't until tentative hands cupped her breasts that Arizona's brain realized what was happened. "Callie, what—"
Callie kissed her hard, silencing her, before pulling away. "Let's go upstairs," she said as she started to sit up.
"Upstairs?" Arizona's brain was still having a hard time engaging thanks to Callie's hands still kneading at her breasts.
Callie's hands dropped down to Arizona's waist as she sat them both up. Her eyes seemed somehow darker and more serious than Arizona could ever remember seeing them. "Let's go up to my room."
"Callie we can't. We shouldn't."
Callie shook her head. "We're both adults. We can do whatever we want. We're not hurting anyone. I want to finally touch you, Arizona. I don't want to wait."
"It's only eight days," Arizona said, not really understanding why she was arguing, yet feeling a need to nonetheless.
Callie sat back and pulled her hands away from Arizona. "Exactly. I'm practically divorced. What's wrong, Arizona. I thought you wanted to have sex."
"I do," Arizona said before letting out a deep breath. "I want you more than anything, Callie, but I also…" She trailed off as she tried to figure out how best to articulate what she wanted to say. "I want you to be mine, Callie, all mine. When we finally have sex, I don't want Owen to have any hold over you except that you are the mother of his children. Right now, he's still your husband. And I know that's in name only, but when we finally sleep together, I want there to be nothing between us, especially not Owen."
"But he's not between us, Arizona," Callie pled as she put her hands on either side of Arizona's face. "We've been over for so long and I never really loved him as more than a friend and the father of my kids anyway. He has no hold over me."
"He does." Arizona laughed dryly. "You know, when you first asked me to wait, I have to admit I thought it was a little over the top. Sure, there were all those good sentiments about how we needed to learn to be in a relationship just by being us and not relying on sex to bring us together. We'd both had that experience before. But then I really began to think about it, and it started to mean something to me. I don't ever want to be the mistress again. I'm more than that, Callie. I…" She paused as she looked deeply into the dark brown eyes before her, into the understanding that was playing in their depths. "I love you, Calliope and I want this done right."
Callie sucked in a deep breath and sat up straighter. "Did you just say..."
Arizona couldn't help but let a bright smile grace her lips. "I did. I love you." As the words tumbled from her mouth a second time, a ball of nervousness formed in her stomach as she wondered how Callie would take this admission.
Luckily she didn't have to wait long. "Oh thank God. I love you, too, Arizona. I love you so much." She then leaned forward and kissed Arizona.
When they broke the kiss they did not move apart but instead just pressed their foreheads together. Arizona smiled as she let out a deep breath. "Well now that that's out of the way," she said with a quiet laugh.
"I've wanted to tell you that for weeks," Callie admitted.
"Me too. I just kept trying to find the right time." She shrugged slightly. "Maybe right now wasn't perfect, but I couldn't hold it back any more. I mean, if I didn't love you so much, maybe I wouldn't care about whether we wait or not."
"I know. And I get it. I don't want you to be the mistress either. You're the woman I love and the one I hope I get to spend the rest of my life with. You're worth the wait." Callie laughed. "Even if that means another eight days of cold showers."
Arizona laughed loudly at that. "Glad I'm not the only one."
They laughed together for a few moments before Callie reached up and cupped Arizona's cheek. "I love you," she said with an impish grin. "Now that I've said it, I'm not going to be able to stop. You're the first person I've ever felt like this about. So, I love you. I love you. I love you."
"I love you, too, Calliope. So very, very much. I want you to be the one for me, too. It's never felt this right with anyone before. I know I've never loved anyone like this. Certainly not Sandy. That was just infatuation compared to this. You've really showed me that I can trust and love again. Thank you." She then moved her hands up to behind Callie's head, entwining her fingers in the raven locks and pulling her forward. "Now, just because we aren't having sex doesn't mean we can't make out like school girls."
"Oh, God, yes," Callie breathed as she pushed Arizona back into the couch and reclaimed her lips.
Arizona rested her head on Callie's shoulder and was busy watching their entwined hands. Callie kissed the blonde hair and smiled. "So, um, since you've now pronounced that I might be the one for you," she began and then couldn't help but giggle at how amazing that made her feel. She then took a deep breath and got more serious, a fresh set of butterflies battling in her stomach out of nervousness. "What do you think about spending some time with my kids?"
"As your friend or as your girlfriend?" Arizona shifted so she could look up at Callie.
"As my girlfriend," Callie said with a nod. "I'm not sure how much they'll understand. The boys are still so young. But Allegra understands what boyfriends and girlfriends are, so she might get it." Callie swallowed hard as she thought about how Allegra might react. "It might be a rough adjustment for them."
Arizona nodded thoughtfully before turning back so that she was looking off into the distance, her head resting on Callie's shoulder. "I know it won't be easy. I imagine I'll be the bad guy for a while." She shrugged. "But I'm tough. Are you going to be okay if things don't go smoothly?"
Callie took in a deep breath and wrapped her arms tightly around Arizona. "The whole time I've thought about how tough all of this is on them. And I know it really is. They're so young and it can't be easy to understand why Mommy and Daddy aren't together anymore. But they're slowly adjusting. Kids are pretty resilient. They cry and have hissy fits, but they adapt pretty quickly. Before long you and I being together will be their new normal. I know it might take weeks or months, but you're worth it. And I think they'll be good for you and you'll certainly be good for them." She laughed. "It never hurts to have a pediatrician around."
"Pediatric surgeon."
"Yeah, whatever," Callie said as she hugged Arizona and kissed the crown of her head again. "So, what do you say we do something with the kids this weekend? Owen will be working all weekend, so I'll have them. Maybe we can go to the zoo? I hear they have some baby snow leopards."
Arizona sat up and turned to Callie, a bright smile on her face. "Really? How did I not hear that? I'm usually so in tune with the goings on of the tiny humans in Seattle."
Callie shrugged. "Well, you've been busy and you don't have a five year old who is in love with the cubs. She's all about wanting to go see Asha and Shanti. I mean, she's been begging me for weeks but I told her it needed to be warmer out first. And the weather's supposed to be pretty decent this weekend, so I thought maybe we should take them someplace where they can be distracted and just let them get to spend time with you. Then we can come back here and drop the 'Mommy's got a girlfriend' bomb on them."
"Oh, do you really want to crush them after a good day at the zoo?"
"Oh, I don't know, I always figure get them on your side and then go in for the kill," Callie said with a laugh. She leaned forward and gave Arizona a light kiss on her lips. "They'll love you, I promise. Just give them time."
Arizona smiled and was about to say something when the doorbell rang.
Callie frowned. "Who the hell is coming by at 10 at night?"
"Maybe some vampire Mormons? You know, they can only go door to door under cover of darkness?"
Callie laughed as she extricated herself and walked over to the windows so that she could peak through the curtains at the front door. "I doubt it," she said as she pulled the curtain back. "Oh fuck me," she then said as she quickly closed the curtain. "It's my parents. Both of them."
Arizona quickly stood up. "Shit. I guess I better run." She looked around almost in a panic and then frowned. "My purse is by the front door and my car keys are in there."
Callie shook her head. "Look, you don't have to go. They can go. I'm sure they're just here to try to convince me to go back to Owen or at least date men. That's not going to happen. Maybe they need to face that."
Arizona shook her head. "Please, don't make me meet your parents at 10 at night. I'm all for standing up to them, but can we do it at a time when I shouldn't be heading to bed?"
The doorbell rang again and Callie sighed in exasperation at her parents' presence. "Okay, fine, just say hi in passing, grab your stuff, and run like the wind." She smiled. "You're right, tonight is not the time to have the big meet and greet with my girlfriend. So just hello and goodbye. We'll worry about the rest tomorrow, okay?"
Arizona nodded but she seemed really distracted. "Maybe now is not the best time to bring this up, but I kind of emailed your father."
"You what?"
"Yeah, really not the time to discuss this. But just in case he mentions it, I did. I'll tell you about it later, okay?"
Now Callie really felt her head swimming at the fact that her parents were outside, and Arizona had emailed her father, and what the hell was she going to do? The doorbell rang a third time. "Shit, okay, but you will explain that tomorrow, right?"
"Yes, I will." Arizona came over to her and gave her a quick kiss. "I love you."
"Love you, too," Callie said as she reached out and quickly squeezed Arizona's hand before walking past her toward the front door.
The thought crossed her mind as she saw her parents through the glass of the front door that her parents' reaction to her and Arizona walking toward them probably was providing them with rather disturbing thoughts as to what had kept them for so long. Callie had to admit the thought gave her a sense of perverse pleasure at their obvious discomfort. She took a deep breath as she slowly opened the door, giving Arizona time to gather her things. "What are you two doing here so late? You don't just drop by from Miami after all."
Callie's mother looked between her daughter and Arizona, one eyebrow going up in an expression that Callie had often seen as a teenager. It was her mother's questioning disapproval, and it made her feel sixteen again, if only for a second. "Are you going to introduce us?" her mother asked with acid in her voice.
Callie's heart started to race as she looked from her parents to Arizona and back. "Mom and Dad, this is Arizona Robbins." She paused, trying to decide if she should explain who Arizona was exactly.
"Yes, we know who Dr. Robbins is," her father said quickly. He didn't seem quite as angry as he had the last time she'd seen him, but there was a sadness in his voice as he nodded to Arizona. "Dr. Robbins," he said by way of greeting.
"It's nice to meet both of you," Arizona said as she pulled her purse up onto her shoulder. "I was actually just getting ready to head home. I have to be in to work early tomorrow. So, if you'll excuse me?" She started to shoulder past the three of them.
"I'll see you at work," Callie said to her as she escaped to the front porch.
Arizona turned and smiled at her before letting out a little nervous sigh and then turning to trot down the porch steps and off into the night.
Callie then crossed her arms and looked from her mother to her father. "So, really, I thought I was being shunned. Now you've seen her. Is she really some huge monster?"
"I never said she was," Carlos said as he started to walk down the hall toward her living room.
Lucia shook her head but didn't say anything as she followed her husband.
"Oh fuck me," Callie whispered under her breath as she shut the door and locked it. She then moved down the hall and followed her parents into the living room. She sighed again as she saw them taking up residence on her couch, the very couch she and Arizona had been enjoying together just a few moments before. "Okay, so are you now both going to tag team me? Is that how this is going to go?"
Lucia looked up at her daughter. "Calliope, we only want what's best for you and for our grandchildren. You need to get back together with Owen. Living in sin is not good for any of you. You'll go to Hell for this."
Callie fell into the chair and leaned forward with her elbows on her knees, not wanting to seem defeated or weak. She needed to be confident and not let them get to her, so she decided to just let it out. She'd already faced the reality of losing them, so what really would it hurt to have that happen twice in one week? "My life is not a sin. I love Arizona. And she loves me. And we're working on slowly building a life together. I want her in my life and I hope it's for a very, very long time. Love can never be a sin, don't you get that?"
"That's not what the Bible says," Carlos countered, but his words didn't have the punch they had had on his earlier visit.
"Yeah, well, the Bible says a lot of stuff that no one pays attention to nowadays. I just need to go with my heart on this and I'm sorry if you two can't understand that. But I'm not going to live my life without love just to make you two happy. I married Owen to make you happy and that's how I got in this mess in the first place."
Lucia gasped. "You made vows before God, Calliope. You knew what you were doing."
"And I did that for all the wrong reasons. I've already asked God for forgiveness and I think He's given it to me. I made a mistake. It's not one I regret, of course, because it gave me the boys, but still, it was a mistake. And I'm fixing that mistake now. Owen and I will be divorced in eight days and then I'm going to work hard to build a life with someone who really does love me. I would hate for that life to not have you two in it, but if you can't love me for who I am, then so be it."
"And who are you?" Lucia asked.
"She's who she always was," Carlos said, his voice flat in resignation. "Did you know that Dr. Robbins sent me an email?"
"She told me, but I don't know what it said," Callie answered as she looked at her father.
"One of the things she said is that you are still the same person you've always been, the same person that we raised you to be. And I do believe that. But I still can't approve of this, Calliope."
Callie swallowed hard. "I'm a grown woman. You don't need to approve of me anymore."
Lucia stood up, her patience obviously wearing thin. "We'd like to sit down with you and your husband to discuss what is going on in your life. I'd like to hear what he has to say. We both would."
"Yes, yes," Carlos said as he too rose. "But it's getting late. We are staying at the Archfield. Can we invite you and Owen to lunch tomorrow? If your schedules allow."
Callie looked up at her parents and then rose to her feet so they wouldn't be able to look down on her. "I have no idea what Owen's schedule is. I'm not his keeper anymore. I know he's working this weekend, but I'm not sure about tomorrow." As much as she'd rather have hot pokers shoved under her fingernails than sit through a meal with her parents while they tried to convince her and Owen to reconcile, she could only hope that perhaps seeing that Owen was just as resolute in wanting the divorce would help them accept the state of things. "I'll call him in the morning and see if he can spare an hour for lunch. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've had a long day and I'd like to get some sleep."
"Yes, of course," her mother said politely. "You have a nice sleep, dear." She walked over and gave Callie a kiss on her cheek before she walked out of the room, leaving only Carlos behind.
"Good night, Calliope," her father said. He started to move toward her, then hesitated, and finally just shook his head slightly. "I'll hopefully see you tomorrow," he added quietly before following his wife.
When Callie heard the door shut she let out a huge exhale and collapsed on the chair. "Thank God that's over," she whispered to herself. But then she thought about the prospect of lunch the next day and her stomach turned. "This is going to suck."
TBC