The Morning After
The world seemed especially bright the next morning when Braden got up. He made his way from the bathroom having splashed some water on his face. Ben was moving around the kitchen and acknowledged Braden with a nod. "Hey partner, your dad has called several times so why don't you give him a ring."
"Where's Grandma?" Braden asked picking up his phone that had been sitting next to a picture of Ben and Grace taken many years ago.
"She had to go to several meetings today, so you are stuck with me."
The connection went through and Dean answered on the first ring. "Hi Dad," Braden greeted.
"Hey kiddo, how are you?"
"Okay I guess."
"I asked Grandpa if I needed to come up there and he told me to stay down in Florida but if I do I expect you to listen and behave."
"I will," Braden said softly.
"Mia and I will be leaving and heading North tomorrow and will be stopping along the way so make sure to call the cell phone and not the hotel if you need anything. I don't want any bad reports," Dean warned.
"There won't be," Braden promised.
They spoke for a few more minutes and when Braden hung up he saw that Ben had placed some eggs and bacon at the table. "Eat up," he encouraged.
"I'm not very hungry."
"The place where you were drains you and you need to replenish yourself."
Braden looked unsure.
"It takes so much from you, that's why you were so thirsty and tired and that's why it is so dangerous."
"Who did mom see when she was there?"
"Those that had gone on before."
"She never went back?"
Ben sighed and sat down across from his grandson, "she tried, but I made it quite clear that she was never to return."
"Oh," Braden said with his hands in his lap and eyes looking at his untouched plate.
"I will employ the same tactics with you if I must but I would much prefer not to."
Braden couldn't believe he wasn't going to be disciplined for his actions yesterday and was quite relieved.
"You will not be left alone; you will be with Grandma, myself or someone else if necessary. That means no walks or trips outside by yourself period."
"But I feel that I need to see her again, be with her, talk to her," Braden pleaded.
"Put it out of your head right now, you do not want to force my hand in this young man," Ben said employing his best stern look.
Braden went on to pick at his meal and when Ben realized he wasn't going to eat anymore he began to talk. "Man's life is brief, so it is a waste to fear death as it will come sooner or later to everybody. It is the command of the Great Spirit for all to pass on, but it is also the command that you are not to tempt to bypass your destiny. You, Grandson are tempting fate by crossing into the forbidden place."
"But it's my mom; I just want to be with her again. I hate that she is dead and gone."
"Braden don't think of her as dead, anything that has a birth, must have a death. But the spirit is not born with a person, but it is given at the time of birth. So the actual spirit has no birth it will never die."
Braden still didn't appear to be satisfied so Ben continued, "The pathway of this life leads to the pathway of the next life. Some have gone beyond the ridge to the Spirit World, but that is where they belong, it is not where you belong, not yet anyway. You have reached a fork in that path and must choose the right way. Do you understand?"
"There is no death; only a change of worlds; and you don't want me to change worlds yet," Braden said.
"Grandson, you have but one lifetime and in that lifetime you live, you love and you die. You have not had enough of a lifetime to accomplish all that you need to so make sure that you live and love enough while you have the chance. Do not shortchange yourself."
Ben let Braden go and think about what had been said. He knew it was hard for the youngster to grasp the importance of what he had been told, but hoped that he could abide by it. If he didn't the consequences could be dire.
Grace was able to find a few days to be at home while Ben was working and the two enjoyed each others company by swimming and exploring and even cooking the fish that Braden had caught. But today the boy was being dropped off at Tyson Longfeather's house so that elder Clearwaters could finish up their projects and spend the last few days with their grandson.
The plan was for Braden to spend the night with Tyson and much of the second day as well. The first day went great with the boys running around creating adventures as they went. The two were inseparable and having a great time. The second day as the boys were hanging out in Tyson's tree house Braden proposed a plan.
"Hey, I have something I want to check out, so could you cover for me?"
Tyson just looked at Braden somewhat puzzled, "if your mom asks just say I'm back here playing, I'll be back in plenty of time before my grandparents pick me up," Braden explained.
"You're going to look for the veil to go to the forever place," Tyson said in a concerned tone.
"The forever place?" Braden asked as he prepared to blow some bubbles.
"Yeah, you were there earlier, you can't go back, I won't help you. If you go I won't cover for you," Tyson declared.
Braden looked disappointed but relented, "okay I won't involve you, act like I never asked."
"It's too dangerous, your grandparents have not lied, what you did is not safe. You must stay away."
The concern on Tyson's face made Braden realize that perhaps his second voyage to the 'forever place' should never be attempted. He took several moments and then made his decision.
Grace had called several times as did Ben to check on Braden and all had appeared to be going well, but it would be a lie to say that she wasn't a bit nervous as she pulled up that something had gone awry.
"Hey Grace how are you?" Sadie Longfeather asked. "The boy's have been playing out back all day; Tyson even came and picked up their lunch to eat in the treehouse. They are a busy duo."
Grace had fallen for that ploy before and realizing that the last time Braden hadn't been seen for any length of time was because he was off on his own adventure, but she held her tongue and hoped for the best. Sadie called out for the boy's and Tyson came tromping down the path alone.
"Where's Braden?" his mother asked.
"He forgot his phone and went back to get it. We thought it would be safer in the tree house instead of his pocket," Tyson explained.
Grace was about to be unglued when the dark head of her grandson appeared smiling as he jogged towards them, "hi Grandma," he exclaimed his phone in hand.
Braden had decided in the end that he valued his friendship with Tyson too much to place the boy in an uncomfortable spot and as much as he desired a return trip to the mystery spot he relented and played his day away as a ten year old is supposed to.
With three day's left in his visit Ben, Grace and Braden were having great fun with each other. Grace was forced to attend a meeting while Ben was playing catch with Braden in the yard when the familiar roar came down the road.
"Daddy," Braden screeched running towards the road.
The happy couple climbed out of the car and Dean shook Ben's hand while Mia tussled Braden's hair. "Sorry we're early, but old habits die hard and once I started driving I couldn't stop," Dean said smiling.
"No problem, but you are staying right, you're not taking Braden early?" Ben inquired.
"No we'll stay, I don't want reality any sooner than I have to," Dean answered.
"Grace will be thrilled that you're here, she misses you so much," Ben said as the group hauled the bags into the house.
Needing to stretch their legs after their long car ride, Dean and Mia happily agreed to a walk in the forest with Braden.
"It's so cool Dad, the woods are awesome and there are these places where miracles occur where you can see things that you can't anywhere else," Braden said as Dean and Mia followed him into the woods.
They walked through the trees hearing the peaceful breeze blow overhead and feel the cool air envelop them. "Maybe we should move here," Mia suggested.
"It is beautiful isn't it?" Dean agreed.
Braden knew he was close his body began to tingle and the hair on his arms was standing on end, he would reunite his mother and father. He would be the leader and show his dad a supernatural feat even he hadn't seen before. Braden was bouncing in excitement. "Over here Dad, over here," Braden waved as the sky took on that familiar scarlet color, but as the boy turned the crimson cloak seemed to surround him and he could see his father no more.
Living on the Edge
"Where did he go?" Mia asked.
"I don't know, he was right here," Dean said with fear seeping through. "He was right here in front of me, not ten feet away."
"Dad, where did you go?" Braden called out.
"You do not know what dangers you have taken on," a voice said.
"Dad?" Braden asked.
The disembodied voice began again, "you need to leave, what you seek is no longer here."
"You sound like my Dad, well your voice does anyway and your lying my mom is here, she is," Braden yelled.
"You're right I am your dad and I order you to leave," a figure in the shadows said.
"But my dad isn't dead," Braden said confused.
"I was at one time and a piece of me remains here, but only a piece. But it is not the place for you and you need to leave, now!"
"When did you die, how?"
"It was an accident, one of those times the doctors shock you back to life but you were clinically dead for a few minutes."
"No, you're not right, you're not acting like my dad, what happened to you who are you? Where were you before here?"
"Go to your dad and never come back here."
"But if you're telling the truth then you are my dad and you are here with my mom and I need to be here too!" Braden yelled.
"No!" Allison shrieked. "Your father made a selfless act to help somebody and he died for that act, but because he was so selfless he was returned to the world. But he gave some of himself that stays here with me and lessens my wait for you my son. He dried my tears and helped my memories. But he is with you Braden; he needs you in the world as do I. Life is lived through love, pain, laughter, joy and tears and death has the very same. I didn't leave you forever I just left first. Now you must go, embrace the gift that has joined your life."
"What gift?" Braden asked.
"Mia, she is such a blessing, she will help you in your journey to adulthood, she will help you in all things; if I could give you a gift it would be her."
"But I want you," Braden said.
"But my hourglass has emptied, my candle has burned down and I am in the land of forever where the days and nights are endless. The wind carries my memory and the rain washes my tears and I survive here to wait for you. It came to pass that I am here, and here I will stay until you come back forever to sit and watch the endless sky with me."
"Take this back to your father, tell him I am okay," Allison said giving Braden a small stone with the word love written on it. "Hold it tightly."
"What if you can't find me?"
"No matter where you go I will find you, in a place with no frontiers, I will find you even if it takes a thousand years I will find you. Now you must go, go son, go now. I will love you forever and always."
Braden turned his eyes rapidly shedding tears; he caught his shirt on a scraggly branch and tore it open. Holding the rock tightly he took his shirt off and dropped it to his feet, leaving it behind he took a few steps before he turned again, "I will find you as well, and I will remember you now forever and always. I will stop guarding my heart but I will remember you still," Braden yelled before his nose began to bleed and he collapsed.
Dean and Mia had been frantic and Ben had gotten a terrified phone call from Dean who had run until he got a signal. Ben caught up to them and his deepest fear had come true as he felt a slight shift in the universe.
"He is gone," the older man said.
"What do you mean he is gone?" Dean yelled, "where is he?"
"He is in the forever place, another dimension; Allison breeched its door when she was a child I should have known Braden would be able to as well. Life and death are in a circle and in certain places that circle is thin and those living can be with those who have died."
"And that's where he went?" Mia asked in shock.
"He went to see his mother," Dean confirmed, "how do we get him out?"
"We can't it has to be up to him, but even then he isn't in total control."
"Then what is?" Dean yelled.
"The Great Spirit, God, fate I don't know," Ben yelled back.
"What do I do?" Dean screamed.
"Nothing, nothing but wait," Ben said sounding defeated.
As the men sat in stunned silence Mia's hand flew to her mouth causing Ben and Dean to turn, there lying shirtless and unconscious was Braden. His hair appeared to be soaking wet and his face was bloody. All three went running to the fallen boy. Dean picked him up and cradled him in his lap while Ben pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and place it on Braden's face, while Mia paced in a circle.
They rushed Braden back to the house; he was semi-conscious mumbling things like finding somebody for 1000 years or tears, Dean couldn't tell and something about still remembering somebody. They placed the boy on the couch while Ben had somebody on the way.
"Who is it?" Dean asked
"My father, he has seen this, I know you're skeptical but I don't know what else to do," Ben said.
Dean swallowed hard and looked at the motionless body of his son, "whatever you think Ben whatever you think."
Joseph was Ben's elderly father and a healer he and Grace arrived at the same time both rushing to the boy. "How long ago Ben?" Joseph asked.
"An hour maybe, this is his second trip."
"Oh my, okay I need cooperation from everyone in this room and if you can't give it you must leave, though the more that are here the better for the boy," Joseph said looking to everyone.
"We are all willing to do whatever you need," Mia said.
"Grace you sing this first part for me," the man said showing Grace her part as he pulled out a rattle. "Ben he will know your voice you read this."
Ben cleared his voice and began to read over Grace's gentle singing. "It's not true that we come here only to live, we come only in passing, we do not own all that is given to us on the this journey we eat sleep and dream, and whenever you are ready oh maker of life I will come home to you," Ben finished looking to Joseph.
"But you must not go Braden, you are to remain here, it is not time for you to come home," Joseph said.
The healer then shared his notes and the three began something that even though the Clearwater's weren't very familiar with they joined in as if driven by an unseen force singing something in their native tongue that seemed to soothe the entire room. Dean looked to his son and saw a mask of peace descend on his face. The healer then lit something and waved the smoke over Braden. Mia felt better than she had minutes before but was still very concerned for her stepson. Another man came into the room and quickly placed a drum in the corner and began his own beat and chant while Joseph used his rattle and then began to use ash from what he had burned and began to place symbols on Braden's forehead and bare chest.
Mia held tightly to Dean as the two looked at the scene before them and the magic it seemed to possess. They were both near tears and their breathing was ragged while Braden seemed so oddly serene and Dean was more afraid than he had ever been.
Dean and Mia had been so entranced they hadn't even noticed more people had come into the room each playing a part in this intricate ceremony. The mood was a bit more upbeat as the chanting became more uplifting. Grace leaned over and whispered, "this is called life giver" and then joined in. Dean felt hope for the first time since Braden's disappearance.
A flute began and the tone became subtle once again as Mia looked to Grace for explanation. "This is about unity, unifying what he saw with where he is now and his life as it is; putting all the pieces together."
The drums and flute finished and Joseph came to Grace and whispered to her and she nodded. The flute began again and the scared grandmother began to hum, she then took Dean and Mia by the hand and brought them next to Braden placing their hands on him she began, "We are now reminded to be aware of our place upon this earth and to fulfill our obligations to ourselves our families nations and the natural world of the creator the words say we are to awaken stand up be counted for you are being recognized in the spirit world. Braden you have been recognized and are held dearly, but you must now come back to us and this world and be counted."
Braden slowly opened his eyes and smiled at everyone.
"That was way too much like last Thanksgiving," Dean commented after Braden had fallen asleep. "Why does he do this?"
"I'm not sure if he can help it, he just seems to fall into these slivers of the unknown, perhaps it is his fate." Ben said.
"That is not what I want to hear, I can't take this again; I didn't think he would survive when he delved into my past, now he is what; traipsing through the netherworld."
"Maybe we shouldn't move here," Mia said with a weak smile.
"Speaking of that, he saw you Dean; in the forever place, the circle whatever you choose to call it." Ben said.
"What?" Mia asked.
"Oh, my apologies I shouldn't have said anything…I guess I assumed."
"It's complicated," Dean said looking at a perturbed Mia, "it was a long time ago."
"You were dead?" she asked in astonishment.
"Only for four months, it's com…"
"I know complicated, start explaining!"
So he did, but Mia was unsure if she was better off knowing the truth in fact she rather believed that she wasn't.
"Why did he see me, I'm not dead now."
"Because of your trauma, a part of you did not return, it remained behind. You lost a part of yourself to the experience," Joseph said. He had remained to ensure Braden would be okay through the night.
"That's what I love about you guys, you don't bat your eyelash at anything; take it at face value and go with it," Dean told Joseph.
"White people are the ones who complicate the world, can't look at anything without over analyzing it. Dean this isn't a human world full of spirits, it is a spiritual world full of humans but I suspect you know that already and your son seems to have a direct line to the unseen," Braden's great-grandfather explained.
"He said he could see my dad who has been dead for a long time, they even speak, but I haven't heard him mention him in a while."
"Maybe because he chooses to keep it quiet knowing you look at him differently or maybe the connection has been quiet. Sometimes those in two different worlds move at different speeds and there can be times they don't match up. Only Braden and his grandfather know what is best for them and their relationship as you know what is best for yours."
"Do I know, because I think I am failing at that. He keeps finding these life and death situations and I am helpless on the sidelines. I think maybe now I feel like my dad did at times when things got away from him and Sam and I were in danger. I can't keep my own son safe, I have a house a steady job and still I can't keep him from what we spent our lives hunting. Why does it seem that whenever we are together you are pulling Braden from some kind of coma?"
"His investigation into your past brought that wrath on himself, but his one sought him," Ben answered.
"But why?"
"That I can't say, maybe Allison's longing for him or his longing for her or perhaps the worlds needing to mix for a moment," Ben said with a sigh.
"Or maybe simply just because," Grace said setting her coffee cup down. "We will never have the answers that the universe begs to ask."
"What do I say if he asks about me being on the other side?" Dean asked using his fingers to make quotation marks when he said 'other side.'
"Don't tell him the truth," Grace said.
"When a child loses one parent it is common for them to worry about the other parent dying and if he finds out you actually did it will be very disconcerting to him," Mia said.
"Just tell him that because he knew he wasn't supposed to be there his conscious took on your form warning him to stay away," Ben said.
"That he had been missing you and thinking about you and it just transferred to what he was doing," Mia added.
"Well you two are awesome liars," Dean said unsure if that was a good thing or not. "Is he going to recover, is he going to remember?"
"He should recover just fine and for remembering I would imagine so at least for a while," Grace said. "He is a strong boy, he should be fine."
"Why does it have to be this way, why does he have to do these things?" Dean asked exasperated.
"Because he is half Allison and half you," Grace said smiling.
**The words from the ceremony were taken from the CD Songs of Life by Joanne Shennandoah