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Author's Note: Thank you all for your kind reviews. They help a lot. The story is already plotted out but your input is very helpful and interesting and lets me know if I'm telling the story in a way that is translating to you all or if I've completely missed the mark with a chapter. There is a rule that says if you've introduced a gun in the first act you have to use it by the third act. I have a lot of plotlines and situations simmering in this fic and I promise that they will be handled when their time comes. And not in any two chapter quickie ending, either. I can guarantee that I will not fizzle out on you and tie up everything fast and end it suddenly. But it's gonna take it's time to unfold. Hope you can stay on board for all of it. Thanks again, I appreciate you all.
Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.
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Chapter Seventy-Five
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What's It All About?
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Buffy waited until she was certain the coast was clear before venturing downstairs for a bite to eat for breakfast. It was Saturday morning in early March and she had been actively avoiding her foster parents for three weeks now. That had been when Harmony first told Rosemary that Buffy had stolen 'her boyfriend', causing her foster mother to ignite into an even greater cycle of jealous rages and stony silences, both with Buffy and with John. It didn't make sense to Buffy. If Rosemary thought she was after her husband wouldn't she be relieved that there was a boyfriend in the picture? Instead, she was acting all jealous on behalf of her sister. She really hated that family. There was one positive outcome of Rosemary's latest irrationality: John spent less time at home.
Honestly she didn't know why they kept her. Rosemary obviously hated her by this point and the atmosphere was more than chilly. They didn't seem to need the money. She thought about it a lot and the only thing she could come up with was that John wanted her around and Rosemary couldn't convince him to get rid of her.
She tried not to think too much about why John wanted her around. His too-friendly behavior had continued unabated but had not increased in intensity so Buffy was still convinced she could handle him for the remainder of her time there. Her custody hearing was scheduled in early April. All she had to do was make it until then and her problem with John and Rosemary would be a distant memory.
Three weeks ago was also the time that Rosemary spilled the beans to Harmony about Katie. Buffy knew the woman had done it out of pure spite in retaliation for walking in on John laughing with and teasing Buffy earlier that morning during breakfast.
Harmony had been delighted with this bit of gossip and spread the word to her friends. As far as she could tell from the snide remarks and snickers she received it hadn't gone further than that crowd. It also explained Drusilla's mean spirited 'gift' on Valentine's Day. She tried not to care but it was hard to ignore sometimes. When she was feeling particularly low she'd seek out Spike and he would take her aside and remind her why none of it mattered. He was good that way.
"You're still here?" a voice dripping with ice came from the doorway. "I thought you were going out today." Rosemary moved slowly to the refrigerator and stood before its open door contemplating what to eat.
Buffy groaned inwardly. Putting on what she hoped was a friendly face, she got up from the breakfast bar to rinse her dishes and put them in the dishwasher. That done, she turned to face Rosemary, who was still in front of the refrigerator.
"Yeah, I'm just leaving now. I'm going to meet Willow. We're gonna look for something for her to wear for a date she has coming up."
Rosemary continued to stare silently into the refrigerator as though Buffy hadn't spoken. After waiting a moment and receiving no response at all Buffy decided to cut out before things became more unpleasant.
"So I'm outta here," she ended casually. "Bye."
She made it as far as the door when Rosemary finally spoke. "You mean Spike."
Damn. So close.
"Spike?" She turned to see Rosemary was watching her.
"You're meeting Spike, right? Not Willow."
Buffy tried not to show her irritation. "No. Willow. I'm just helping her find a dress for a date."
Rosemary stared blankly at her for a moment then turned back to the refrigerator. Buffy took this as a sign that the conversation was over and left quickly, only too glad that their brief encounter hadn't erupted into something more. Nowadays she never knew what would set the woman off.
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"This is so weird."
"Yeah?"
"Maybe I shouldn't have come here."
"You were the one who wanted to come."
Willow looked at herself in the dressing room mirror. "I don't think this is me."
Buffy gave her friend a frankly appraising look and frowned. "It is a little much."
"A little much?!" Willow squeaked. "I look like a whorehouse threw up on me!"
Buffy considered some more and nodded decisively. "You're right. It looks like something Drusilla would wear."
Alarmed, Willow pushed Buffy out of the dressing room and worked to get out of the red and black teddy and garters as though she'd been set afire.
Soon Buffy came back and handed a chemise over the half-door. "Maybe a more bridal look would be better," she declared knowledgably. "Try this."
While Willow donned the new garment Buffy sat down on a chair outside the door.
"So where is he taking you?"
"He won't say, just told me to dress nice for dinner and pack an overnight bag." Willow opened the door and waited for the verdict.
"Oh, Willow, that's it!" She wore a satin chemise in baby pink trimmed with a delicate lace. It was just long enough to cover her bottom and showed enough cleavage to be enticing without being slutty. "You look like an angel! Demure but still sexy."
Willow smiled hopefully. "It's pretty, isn't it?"
Buffy grinned, "Oz isn't gonna know which way is up when he sees you in that tonight!"
"That's the plan," Willow nodded then blushed when she realized all of the implications of that statement.
Buffy chuckled at how embarrassed Willow was by all of this as she gathered up the discarded lingerie to put on the returns rack. Willow and Oz were going to be together for the first time tonight and the poor girl was a ball of nervous giddiness. But she knew that her friend was in love and that Oz loved her and it would all be just perfect for her tonight.
Buffy picked up the delicate teddy she had tried on earlier and ran the soft satin and lace though her fingers. She couldn't afford it, of course, but it was fun to try it on and imagine wearing it the first time she was with Spike. The first time; that was a thought. It had been three weeks since that Valentine's night when they had gone just a little bit further and that's pretty much where she'd left it.
She loved what they did when they were alone - the kisses, the touching - everything. But she couldn't quite make the leap to more intimacy and she knew he was becoming frustrated. Not irritated-frustrated, she didn't think, but just aching for more from her. She wanted more too but she was afraid. Afraid of what he'd think of her, whether she'd measure up to his expectations, whether becoming fully intimate would spell the beginning of the end for them. After all, except for Drusilla, that had been the death knell for all of his other relationships.
It was silly, she knew it. She meant more to him than that; she'd decided that weeks ago. No, if she were honest with herself it wasn't Spike's feelings or intentions that made her pause, it was her own insecurity about being good enough for him. She had almost spoken to Olivia about it last week but chickened out at the last minute. She knew that, aside from her foster parents, the adults around her would not agree with her decision to become sexually active and there was just too much at stake to risk letting them know anything at all about her personal life like that. They'd be all judge-y and might try to split them up or something. She couldn't risk that happening. She'd just have to work it out on her own.
"Ready?" Willow popped out of the dressing room fully dressed with the pink chemise in hand.
"Yep," Buffy stood and hung her teddy back on the return rack.
"You're not getting it?"
"No, I decided it wasn't quite the right one. I'll look again another day." She smiled at her best friend and willed her not to pursue the subject any further.
"Okay." Willow looked doubtful but thankfully let it go.
With a last longing glance at the slip of satin. Buffy sighed and followed Willow to the register.
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"…so with all of the choices and options available to girls today, there is no excuse whatsoever for an unplanned pregnancy. Does that answer your question today, Ms Kendall?"
Harmony smiled sweetly. "Yes, thank you Dr Walsh." She let her glance slip sideways to where a mortified Buffy sat, and gave her a big grin.
Buffy gazed out the window trying to ignore the pointed stares and snickers of some of her classmates and prayed desperately for Dr Walsh to change the subject. She had been relieved that they were finally finishing up their section on pregnancy and childbirth this week but Harmony just had to torment her with these questions that half of the class knew were digs directed right at her. She brought the subject up in one way or another almost every day.
"Listen up, people," Dr Walsh silenced the snickering students. "The school district has determined that you should all get a taste of parenthood in the hope that you will not make the monumental mistake of actually becoming parents yourselves. Please follow me."
Dr Walsh led the entire class to the library. In a back corner of the room sat an assortment of lifelike baby dolls, complete with full size car seats.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me," Buffy swore under her breath. She could see Giles lurking in his office, no doubt hiding from the student invasion. She saw that Spike was frozen where he stood and she desperately wished she knew what he was thinking. She turned to her right where Willow and Xander were staring, mouths open. "Did you know about this?" she whispered to the stunned girl.
"Nope. Nosiree. I did not," Willow murmured under her breath.
Dr Walsh clapped her hands together to silence the excited students. "This is a new project, starting with your class this semester. Next year all Health class students will participate. Ideally we would have you each take an infant but the budget won't allow for it. Therefore we will do this as a team project. Please choose a partner to share parenting duties, select a baby and bring it back to class with you for further instructions." She looked at the clock. "You have ten minutes."
As Dr Walsh watched dispassionately the students milled around and attempted to pair up for the assignment.
Willow sighed and threw Xander a hopeful look. "So. You wanna?"
"Sure, Will," he punched her arm and gave her a goofy grin. "I'll be your baby-daddy!"
Spike stepped closer to Buffy and jerked his head toward the fake babies. "Well this is…different."
She couldn't read him at all. "I think the words you're going for are 'incredibly weird and uncomfortable'," she whispered anxiously. "I can't believe they're making me do this."
He tilted his head and quirked his mouth into a half-smile. "I don't know. I think I'd like to play daddy with you."
"Ohhhh, that's so sweet," she took his hand in hers and smiled up at him. "Wait," she frowned, suddenly unsure of his meaning. "What?"
He just grinned and waggled his eyebrows at her, removing all doubt as to his meaning.
"Pig." She dropped his hand and, with a withering look, turned toward where a crowd of students had now gathered around the dolls . "We'd better pick up junior before all the good ones are gone," she suggested irritably.
"They all look the same to me, pet."
"Just my luck we'll get a colicky one," she muttered to herself and headed over to find an infant. Spike chuckled at her pessimism and trailed right behind her.
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She'd insisted on choosing a boy doll which they named 'Alfie' because Buffy said he looked like an Alfie to her. Spike had no idea what an Alfie looked like but he didn't object. In fact, Buffy's mood was so sour about the entire assignment that he decided the safest thing to do was to just go along to get along. He made no more jokes about being her daddy, although he had a dozen of them ready to go.
The dolls were computerized to cry if they tipped over, were put down for too long, lacked head support, or really just for no reason whatsoever. The student had a special key strapped to their wrist which had to be inserted into a slot to stop the screeching infant from crying. The idea was to discourage pregnancy by simulating for three days the sheer exhaustion and aggravation of caring for a young infant.
Buffy was not a happy camper. She had already been there and done that and was not eager to do it again now. She also was worried about how Spike would take to this, whether he would suddenly realize that having a child was a lot of trouble and rethink being in a relationship with her. After all, Katie had that whole adorable cuteness thing going for her to offset the bothersome details of her care. This doll had only two settings: boring and annoying. She really counted on the adorableness factor to help ease Spike over the hard spots with her daughter. This doll could really mess up that plan.
She decided that there was only one thing she could do: subtly take over the entire assignment so that Spike wouldn't find out how bad it could really be. That thought didn't improve her feelings about the project any, but she felt she could fake it for a little while, at least when he was around.
After school Alfie went off while Spike was trying to figure out how to get the car seat into his car. Buffy grabbed the doll out of the seat and inserted her key quickly, holding it against her shoulder as though it were real. Whenever Spike would glance in her direction she would plaster a big smile on her face and indicate that all was going well. Her plan was to simply react faster than he did to the doll when they were together and make it seem like she was having fun doing it. With any luck he would forget he had anything to do with it at all.
It was Friday, and they were supposed to take turns over the weekend and bring the doll back on Monday for a final report and computer download of their responses to the doll's cries. If she could talk him into letting her keep the doll all weekend he might not experience the anticipated irritation of all things baby by the time Monday rolled around and be none the wiser.
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She could not believe that she actually did get one of the dolls programmed with colic. She had managed to get the doll for Friday night with very little resistance from Spike. Although she did convince him to let her have all of Sunday, she had not been able to prevent him from coming over Saturday so they would be spending that entire day and evening taking care of Alfie together. If she didn't get some real sleep soon she was going be a wreck tomorrow.
"God, Alfie, go to sleep already!" she growled at him from underneath the pillow she had pulled over her head.
It was three o'clock in the morning and the annoying doll had been going off every ten to thirty minutes since dinner time. She had managed to grab a few minutes sleep during gaps but it wasn't enough to make any real difference. As soon as she drifted off the thing would start crying again.
"Buffy! Shut that thing up!" a distant voice yelled from the other end of the hallway. John this time.
"Sorry!" She roused herself and quickly slammed the key into the doll, which immediately stopped screeching. She looked at her clock. "Damn it. That was only twenty-three minutes."
She settled herself against the headboard to hold the doll until the 'feeding period' it had started was finished and she could remove the key. At this rate she was going to be a zombie when Spike arrived in the morning.
Spike. She so wished he was here with her now and the stupid baby project was done and forgotten. She had given it a lot of thought this last week and finally decided it was time. Willow had told her how wonderful her date last Saturday had gone and how very gentle and sweet Oz had been with her. She was all glowy and happy and had actually forgotten to do a homework assignment for the first time in her entire life and she didn't even care.
Buffy wanted to be all glowy and happy and forget things, too, as long as it was because of him. She wasn't sure how to tell him, though. She wanted it to be perfect and not just some quickie in a car. There would have to be a date and a plan. Like Oz did for Willow. She wanted Spike to make a plan, but she didn't want to tell him to make a plan. The key was to get him to plan the perfect first time for them without him knowing she was doing it.
Thinking about how to have sex with my boyfriend while holding the frickin' doll at three am is probably not what they were going for. she chuckled to herself, unfortunately tipping the baby too much and setting it off again.
"Buffy!"
"Sorry!"
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It was eight o'clock Saturday night and they had spent the entire day together taking care of Alfie, even taking turns to eat dinner so that one of them could continue to hold the colicky doll. Today he seemed to go off on them any time he wasn't being held. As Saturday nights went it wasn't exciting but Spike was happy that at least they were spending the time together. Now they were settled in the family room of her house to watch DVDs and make sure little Alfie didn't cry too much.
Well, Spike was watching DVDs anyway. Buffy had nodded off an hour ago, curled up on the sofa where she had slipped down beside him. It was only the second time since the project began that he had been able to wrest the doll away from her. She was exhausted with dark circles under her eyes but she was still incredibly beautiful to him, curled up with her hands under her cheek and her head upon his knee. He ran his fingers through the silky strands of her hair and watched her sigh and shift in her sleep. So beautiful.
He thought about how dedicated she was during this assignment, and he really admired how, although irritated at first, she had cheerfully thrown herself into the thing. And this in spite of how much it must hurt her to be forced to care for a doll when she was denied the care of the daughter she missed so terribly. Frankly, he was becoming concerned at the toll the separation from Katie seemed to be taking on her emotional state.
Because she seemed really attached to little Alfie.
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Hope you liked this little chapter. Things are unfolding as they should. More is coming.
Sara