Chapter Thirty Six

An Invitation

Lying down, with arms crossed behind my head I stared at the hospital ceiling. On the tables surrounding me were a variety of origami paper flowers and cards from well wishers. It seemed the news of my efforts to assist the Hidden Village had spread which still embarrassed me somewhat. Temari and Kankuro had paid a brief visit and tactfully avoided all of my questions about damage and casualties. Despite this I understood that Suna was safe again. I should have been happy, but since I'd been left alone in the silent ward nightmares were haunting me. There was nothing worse than being forced to lay down for strict bed rest with only your thoughts for company.

In my heart of hearts I was glad that I was of use to the people of Suna (at last) and most important - to the Kazekage. Somehow I wanted to repay the debt that I owed him after bringing Naoki and I back together as a family. Unfortunately as one debt was repaid another problem had sprung forth. As I tried to piece together my correspondence to Lady Tsunade which should have been sent to Konoha at least four days ago; I thought glumly about how to phrase 'disobeyed orders in relation to forbidden jutsu' in a favourable light.

In frustration I took up my koto. I resumed my practise continuing to work on my own personal composition for the festival. My fingers plucked and stroked the strings as I explored a variety of arrangements. At times the notes flowed together effortlessly and I was pleased with my work, other sessions produced little more than a bad headache. It seemed today that my creative talents had decided to abandon me and I lay the instrument next to me on the sheets.

There was a knock at the door, another sign that reminded me that I was isolated in an individual ward. The nurse wearing white overalls came into the room.

"Miss Katashi," I smiled at her. She was one of the few people in the whole village that preferred to use my surname (rather than title) for address purposes. "Are you up to seeing another visitor?"

"If it's Toshie, please go and tell her to play for a while!"

The young woman laughed sympathetically, she understood how the children could be over zealous during visiting hours. "No," she looked nervously at me for a moment before speaking. "It's Lord Gaara, he wishes to see you."

"You better let him in." She nodded and disappeared for a few moments. Oh, here we go I sighed, it was time for the lecture I was sure of it. For four days I'd been dreading it knowing that I was responsible for the death of many due to my own inadequate judgment.

He swept in, his eyes watching me from a distance. As always he was silent and brooding with stillness in the dry air that followed him wherever he went. I had noticed before how time seemed to stop in his presence. That was part of the super natural mystery about Gaara being linked with Shukaku.

"Good afternoon," I tried a greeting and before waiting for his usual non response I jumped straight into a question that had been plaguing me for some time. "Was everyone accounted for?" I continued, pretending to tune my strings. Silence still surpassed speech in his eyes it seemed.

When there was no reply to this I twisted my head behind me to see him looking at the floor. This was a particular habit the Kazekage employed when thinking not of the immediate answer but what to say afterwards. I used to think that he merely tolerated our exchanges as a form of entertainment, now I wasn't so sure. When he held my hand back on that hill it yet again changed the perception that I had of him. Nothing had been mentioned since and therefore I took this signal to mean I should confine the incident to the past, which I did.

"Over seventy civilians were injured, with thirty fatalities including Hiro's Grandfather."

I ignored the sting in my throat and nodded with understanding, "I'll ask Grandma Rooba to keep an eye on him."

He immediately shook his head, "I have already made arrangements." I couldn't hide my surprise. "Despite appearances the old woman was apparently close to the family. I have already prepared the appropriate documentation for guardian rights to be transferred. She above all others wishes to care for the boy while she is able."

"I think Hiro would appreciate that..." I tried to smile but my muscles felt glued together. I noticed the green orbs flicker for a second in my direction before resuming their safe and neutral position on the floor. He must be making an effort to get to know the villagers a little more, how else could he have known how much a comfort Rooba would be to Hiro?

I placed a heavy hand on the cast that was currently keeping my right leg in position to set and heal. Glaring at the plaster prison encasing my limb I tried to twist the cast from left to right but it was stuck hard. The distracting tingle was unbearable at times as my trapped skin cried out to be scratched. I had so far managed to distract myself from the maddening itch but there was no escape, especially at night time.

My visitor saw fit to change the conversation once more after a drawn out pause.

"Ambassador, I have received two letters; one from the leader of the Wind Country and the other," he stopped and frowned. He was reluctant to continue it seemed. "The other is from Katashi Yui."

I glanced at the letter burning it into tiny shreds in my head. What did that bitch want from me, now? I was surprised at how easy it was to dismiss the news.

"I'm afraid that I have absolutely nothing to say to the woman. Kazekage, please burn the letter and do not let it trouble you again. I certainly will not."

It was strange to hear myself speak so impartially about mother. She was the woman who had brought me up and was my complete world for such a long time. I didn't think twice about what I'd said even when Gaara's eyes widened for just a second.

"Perhaps you may feel differently with time," he replied simply and I gave a frown to rival his own straight back. He could tell I was serious, the way I felt about my mother was not an area of discussion. To my relief he nodded and produced the other letter which was sealed with purple wax, this he handed to me to read. Afterwards he went to the opposite wall and leaned against it watching my reaction.

He smirked as my eyebrows travelled further and further up my forehead whilst I scanned through the details. A brief summary was that the daimyo having heard the news about the attack on Suna saw fit to engage in a discussion with the new Kazekage about village affairs. I was shocked that Gaara and the leader had not formally introduced themselves to one another. To add further interest the daimyo had heard of an Ambassador from the Leaf making excellent progress in the region. He wanted to meet personally all new arrivals in the country first hand. I wondered where the man had been sleeping this past year and a half.

"He seems a little… out of touch," I kept re-reading the letter over and over to check I hadn't missed anything important.

"Communications between the Hidden Village and the Wind Country leader have always been minimal. The daimyo dislikes confrontation, therefore face to face briefings with the Kazekage do not happen. Hence when my father discovered that his leader had withdrawn further financial backing into the ninja squads of Suna, via letter, he began to make decisions into his own hands."

So much time had passed since the attack on Konohagakure that it seemed like a bad dream. Still, the attack had been a most startling catalyst for change and it was a shame to waste such an open invitation.

I grinned back, "I think meeting with him would be a good opportunity to get Suna's economy running again. I've already thought of a few ways we can generate some revenue and it wouldn't take much investment."

"Is that so?" Gaara gave me a knowing look that suggested I was being naïve. "I have learnt so far that quick decisions and swift action in politics are rare. Rivals opposed to proposals are," he searched for the right word, "annoying. Those in power see change as an enemy sent to dethrone their comfortable lives. Unlike a match against an opponent, the political arena does not have stable outcomes. I may not have the necessary control to discuss matters with such men."

I assumed he was talking about controlling his desire to smother the Wind Country's representative. Part of me could sympathize with the teenager having been thrown headfirst into the adult world myself. Whether the softly spoken Jinchuuriki liked it or not the duties of Kazekage were traditionally handled by an older person with life experience. It was the first time in the Wind's history, that a shinobi leader under twenty years old was responsible for the security of the land. Gaara had to accept that he would get some flack at first!

"I'll take care of the negotiations," I offered uselessly poking at my leg. "You can't ignore the daimyo forever-"

"I will do as I please. It has worked thus far," Gaara grumbled immediately and I stifled a giggle. He looked angry at the thought of meeting with this 'official' and being forced to have a civil discussion. As far as I knew most meetings involved a lot of small talk, drinking, flattery, eating, laughing at jokes that weren't particularly funny and in between this verbal game of musical egos, somewhere a deal was struck. The thought of him being placed in the midst of such social chaos alone, made me flinch.

"How do you know what can be accomplished if you never try?" I asked him. He was becoming defensive again. "Gaara, if you want what's best for the village sometimes you have to work with people rather than…crush them. The Third Hokage always told us that a leader needs to show more than brute strength and power; he needs to show wisdom and patience. You can't expect Suna to be isolated from the other nations forever - it would be unfair on the villagers."

"My focus needs to be on the trial," he said shortly trying to avoid further discussion.

"As an Ambassador of the Leaf, do you trust me?" I tried a different tact and watched as the pale faced ninja blinked considering the question. He was put out because I had switched the conversation in this way. The sand began rustling in the room around us, but I sat up straight and stared back at him awaiting the answer.

"Yes," he said begrudgingly as though accepting defeat in a sparring match. I felt a surge of happiness melt through me as I pressed the letter gently back into his hands. His worried eyes met mine for a few seconds and I tried to smile at him with reassurance.

"If Suna is not only going to survive but prosper in the times ahead, I have absolutely no doubt that this meeting must happen! You know that I will support you in any way I can, don't you?"

A strange look crept onto his delicate features. "Meddlesome," he said with a huff.

"Pardon?"

"You're a meddlesome mother hen," he continued now with his face fully upturned glaring frostily at me. "You make decisions on a whim without considering the consequences."

I pulled away from his cold and criticizing gaze to the windowpane. I'd been a fool he'd lured me into a false sense of security before the lecture! Couldn't he just leave me be? I was feeling bad enough without him dumping further guilt into my lap.

"You asked me, why do you hesitate?"

I remembered saying that.

"Have faith in them, use them, I believe were your exact words."

And they had been, at the time it felt like the right thing to do. Everyone was so eager to fight and reclaim the village. I thought that we were invincible as if nothing could touch us because…I was being silly. Why would we win? Just because we had the element of surprise it didn't mean that we would succeed. Sitting here listening to Gaara repeat those words they didn't have the same justification. He was right I hadn't thought about what would happen to those people. Use them, it sounded like I was throwing something away in the trash.

"I made a mistake. We're only human," I whispered weakly.

"No," his voice rose and I shrank back on my bed. "I am the Kazekage," he corrected me. I winced expecting further stern words about my foolishness. He sat on the chair next to the bed and hung his head. When he looked up the harsh glare was gone and had become softer as though he was battling with his own guilt. His red hair was limp and unkempt, he looked tired.

"The judgment you made was sound. However it was not your decision to make. You are facing a guilt which should not be yours to bear." I still didn't understand where he was coming from. "Your duty, Ambassador should not be to prompt the Kazekage to take action. As Kage, I am responsible for the security of the village and any deaths or casualties within." I noticed his frown was directed towards my elevated leg.

"My current predicament is my own fault and no one else's," I tried to say benevolently but my lips drew together as flashes of darkness and blue light darted in front of my eyes. I took a sharp breath and wrapped my arms around me. I should be dead.

"Are you cold?" He asked, standing immediately to retrieve a blanket.

Poor Yuushi. When Temari had found me unconscious the following morning it was not a pretty sight... I couldn't think. The pieces of what happened escaped me even four days later.

I thought instead about the long list of jobs that needed taking care of in relation to the festival. Again these were quite a burden. I regretted being unable to run around like a headless chicken anymore taking charge but it couldn't be helped. Grandma Rooba and the children would just have to do without Lady Leaf for a while, surely they would understand?

"Oh, that reminds me!" I sat up straight and struggled to reach a pile of cards next to the table. "There was something Toshie wanted me to give you. Now, where could it be? Aha, here we are." I plucked a single purple piece of card from the deck. Gaara's forehead wrinkled as though he could be raising an eyebrow, before taking it from my waggling fingertips.

He examined the picture on the card for a few seconds and squinted at the writing. "She may require additional lessons in drawing with accuracy," he said light dancing in his eyes as he suppressed a bare hint of joy. Gaara's hair in the artwork was over exaggerated and spiky, his stick arms and legs protruded from a triangular red body. I thought using emerald green sweet wrappers for the eyes was a nice touch, and although the picture was crude there was a certain charm about it.

"Who is the Kazza?" He asked taking another glance at the written scrawl.

"I believe Toshie doesn't know the correct spelling for Kazekage. I apologise, she means no disrespect by it I'm sure." I winced on the young girl's behalf, "I'll ask her to correct the spelling the next time she comes in."

"No," Gaara said quite forcefully. I snatched my fingers back alarmed that he might strike me. At this he became troubled. He was still holding the card tentatively as though it was fragile as glass. "You misunderstand my intentions..."

"You would prefer the message to remain exactly as it is?" I enquired.

"To think, the girl wished me dead that day in the garden," he replied softly. "Toshie would interpret such a request as an insult." He secured the card within his coat and settled back into the chair. "I have no desire to change it," he told me. "This is a very precious thing."