Chap 36 Rapunzel and the Blades of Grass, Improved

It was almost my 13th birthday and Mother was going out again. Sliding down my hair to the ground. It was long enough now for her to go up and down, which was good, the rope she had been using was getting worn in places and I was beginning to worry for Mother's safety, but I had to be sure to brace myself first, Mother was heavy. I watched her leave and gave her a wave just like we always did when she reached the Exit and then she was gone.

I wish I could go through the Exit.

I unhooked my hair and just leaned there for a while looking at the sky, giving the cloud shapes names as my hair fluttered in the breeze, not that there was much of one today. The sky was always wonderful. I wave to some of my bird friends and we chat about seeds and flying.

I wish I could fly.

I had been so good these past weeks. There had been no punishments and Mother was happy. I was hoping that maybe she would take me to see the floating lights that would light up the sky tomorrow night. I wasn't sure if I was brave enough to ask yet. Outside was so scary from what Mother said but she was able to good Outside and safely return.

I wish I was brave.

"Well, time to start on chores." I said out loud for no good reason and began to haul up my hair. Wondering if I should start with the dusting or the moping just to shake things up. And at the very end, caught in my hair was something green.

I couldn't believe it.

I had gotten something from Outside all by myself. I got something from Outside!

I dropped my hair and got down on the floor to just look at it. My hair could now reach all the way down to the ground. What a wonder that was by itself, but now, to have grass was amazing.

I had asked Mother about the things I could see from the window, but this is the first time I had ever seen it up close. I just lay on my stomach, head on my hands, and looked at it for a while, how wondrous it was.

I stalked closer and slowly plucked them out of my hair.

I cupped the few grasses that I had in my hand and just looked at them. They weren't like anything else. They were like chives which Mother brought home occasionally, but chives were round and grass is flat.

I wondered if you could eat grass, but after thinking about it, probably not. We had all that grass around the tower but Mother never brought it up for cooking and eating. Mother said so much of Outside was dangerous. I didn't want to poison myself by eating any to taste it.

I cupped the grass in my hands and brought them up to my face and breathed in. It smelled just like the color green should. It was earthy without the sharpness of that chives had. It smelled round. Which I thought odd because it was flat, I wondered if the smells had gotten mixed up somehow, chives smelled flat but were round.

Running my fingertip up and down a grass let me discover something new, it was smooth in one direction but rough in the other.

Looking at it in the light I could see that there was something on the surface of the grass but I couldn't see well enough to tell exactly what it was. I wondered if it was like grass. From my tower I always thought that grass was sort of like the fabric of my dress, because it flowed in the wind like my dress did. Could there be a girl in a tower on this grass looking at yet more grass?

I got a shiver at where that thought could go. I might explore it later, but first chores. I stuffed the grass into my pocket and quickly did my chores, being especially careful to brush my hair all clean again. Mother did not approve of dirty hair and I needed to be extra careful so the window wouldn't be locked and I could see the floating lights. Mother would be home soon, and I wanted to keep the grass hidden from her, so I use my hair to climb where she cannot reach.

I wonder if the girl in the tower on the grass has as a good a Mother as mine.

I wish I could talk to her.

...

"Rapunzel, let down your hair."

"Coming, Mother."

I throw my hair out the window and get a good grip on the post beside the window as Mother climbs up. I keep a grip on my hair too, Mother is nice enough not to jerk on it, that hurts, a lot.

She climbs in the window and lets go of my hair. I reel it in as she cries, "I got you a surprise, colored chalks for your birthday. Happy Birthday." She produces a box, which I open, it has a dozen thick colored rods of a lightweight material. This is something new. I rub my finger on a green one and some of it gets on my finger.

"Thank you, Mother. This is new."

"I know you are running out of space on the walls. I don't want you painting on the floor, but you can use chalk on the floor and it will clean up when you mop the floor."

"Oh, okay." I say happily, there are some possibilities in this chalk. It won't be permanent like my murals, but it would be great to try out ideas that I am working on.

I flounce over and give her a hug and our little ritual of love begins.

"I love you, very much."

"I love you more."

"I love you most."

I am so happy that I pleased Mother and she got me the chalk. She isn't nice all the time, but then neither am I, though I try so hard. I love hugging her, I don't get enough hugs sometimes. Hugging my pillow or my doll isn't the same. Sometimes I pull my chair next to hers so my elbow touches her arm, it isn't as good as a hug, but it seems to help.

I wish I could get more hugs.

I experiment with the chalk. It isn't very good at detail work, but I can cover a large area very quickly. It doesn't mix like paint does so I can't change the colors I have. It also uses up fast. So I have to be careful, and not use too much all at once. There is never enough yellow to do a really good job on my hair. I don't know if Mother will get more soon, so I try not to like it too much.

I have an idea, but I need Mother to be gone. She mustn't know about the grass. I've hidden it on the highest beam, where she can never get to. It will be safe there. But she needs to be gone so I can get it. She'd punish me if she saw me doing something dangerous.

…

Mother sleeps well tonight. I oiled the hinges specially during chores today so she wouldn't wake up. I watch the floating lights in the sky.

How different they are from the stars. The stars move in certain predictable paths for the most part. There are streaks often that are like stars sliding across the sky, but they are fast not slow like the floating lights. The floating lights are something else. They move together, but not like birds. Some disappear and others keep floating.

How I yearn to know what they are. I reach out, wanting to catch one, but I can't reach. They feel important for some reason, but I don't know why, they beckon to me, I want to step through the window, to fly to them like my bird friends could. Someday. Mother hints we may leave the tower and explore Outside. I hope it will be soon, my heart aches to know what those lights are.

I wish I knew why the floating lights are so important.

But Mother won't talk about them. I wonder why, but I learned long ago not to ask certain kinds of questions.

...

Mother's gone for food, finally. I know exactly what I want to do with the chalk. I will use up almost all of the green and I am hoping it will be worth it. I'll get my dress dirty, but it is washing day tomorrow, so it shouldn't be a problem. I might be punished, but it should only be a little one.

I go up to my room and open the window, I move my bed over some so I have a clear spot where I can look up and see the sky.

I scribble a big green patch on the floor and color on some flowers.

Then I sit on it looking up through my windows up into the sky.

I take the handful of grass from out of my pocket, they are turning brown around the edges. I rub the 7 blades of grass that is all I have, around my toes and along my feet and ankles and legs, it tickles, I smile but this is serious. Between my fingers and around my arms. Along my lips, cheeks and ears. I cup them to my nose and breathe in really deep.

I lay back and throw out my arms and try to bring it together all at once:

With all my mind, I remember.

With all my heart, I hope.

With all my strength, I imagine.

With all my might, I dream.

What laying on grass might really be like.

Author's Note: The first thing Rapunzel does after getting out of the tower is to roll around in the grass and it was just like she dreamed it would be. How could she do that? Maybe like this. A little birthday present her hair got her, like when it picked up Pascal.

Can you remember rolling in the grass? Can you imagine it now? Do you want to do it now?

Totally inspired by 'Waiting and Wondering' by ecila20 deviantart

.com/art/Waiting-and-Wondering-197441972

Yeah, I posted a version in Abusing Hair Power a while ago, but it just seemed to fit here too perfectly not to be part of this story, which you'll see in the next chapter.