Author's Note: Sairey13, I actually thought that them dying on April 1 was just a fandom thing, to be honest. I know the majority of the YJ story, just not the gritty details. But, to be honest, I don't think the Team is really the 'Let's pull pranks despite our teenage angst on top of saving the world constantly' type. I mean, we have a Speedster who flirts with any cute girl, an angry Kryptonian clone, an Atlantean who is essentially the King's right hand, an emotionally abused archer with Daddy Issues, a White Martian in disguise who doesn't seem like the goofy type and more of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, a magician in training who lost her dad recently, the newbie who is still trying to get settled onto the Team, and the acrobat slash hacker who only trolls his best friend and enemies on occasion, not really an avid prankster in my opinion.

This is part two of three, people. Stay frosty and Happy April Fool's Day to all!

Thanks to all who reviewed last chapter, too! It means a lot to me, (enter smiley face).

0-0

Flying runs in the family, I've been told. Dad once told me that when I was a baby, not even a week old, he took me in his arms and swung on the trapeze without a safety net –

"HE DID WHAT?!" Zatanna shrieked. Dick flinched at the noise.

Artemis looked just as horrified, "How could your biological family be just as reckless?!"

She muttered under her breath, "And I thought my dad was bad…"

"It was a family tradition," Dick began slowly, but Zatanna cut him off again.

"Weren't other people scared your dad was going to drop you? I mean, you just said you were a baby!"

Dick looked on at Zatanna with an expression one would find on a patient parent to an energetic child, "Are you done?"

"Yes," she sighed.

Dick cleared his throat and continued…

Flying runs in the family -

"You just said that," Rocket said drily. She caught the glare Dick was giving her and closed her mouth.

It was me, my mother and father, Aunt Karla, Uncle Rick, and their son, John. John was a couple of years older than me and allowed to do the more dangerous stunts with the grown-ups -

"How old was your cousin?" Artemis asked.

Dick scratched his head for a moment, "I think he was at least sixteen..."

"I was just curious," Artemis explained simply with a light tone, "Didn't want to think your family would put a little kid in danger."

"Anyways," Dick gritted his teeth and continued.

We were the Flying Graysons, the biggest act of Haley's Circus –

"So that's why you had us on that mission back in December!" M'Gann smiled broadly, "You wanted to help keep your old friends from losing their home."

"And there was criminal activity going on at the same time," Dick added, "Two birds, one stone."

"Now I really wish I was with you all," Wally mused.

At the looks he was given, Wally rolled his eyes, "What, Dick and I've been friends for years. I've always known his secret ID."

"Who cares about that," Garfield jumped in his seat, looking at Dick excitedly, "Tell us of the circus!"

When I was eight –

"Nine."

Dick glared at Wally.

Wally coughed into his mouth and started, "You, uh, you said that it…happened when you were nine. Just saying."

I was nine when all of that changed.

And to give you some insight, I wasn't allowed to do any of the really dangerous stunts. Even though I could do a quadruple backflip – my cousin, John couldn't pull that off, and he was older –

"You can do a what?" Rocket interrupted again.

"A quadruple backflip," Dick repeated, "I'm one of the few in the world that can do it."

"How do you know?"

"Because it was part of the advertisement at Haley's," Dick said simply.

"Alright," Rocket shrugged and dropped the issue.

Since I was the youngest, my family didn't want me to do any of the dangerous stunts until I was older, because we did them without a safety net. On the bright side, I had the best seat in the house, watching my whole family do amazing tricks up close.

I never knew either of my grandparents on either side of the family and the owner of the circus, Pop Haley, was practically everyone's grandfather. He was named godfather to me and John, so we'd always have a home.

"What happened?" M'Gann asked softly, "You said 'always have a home', but…why couldn't you stay with him?"

Dick became somber, "I'm getting to that. No more interruptions."

We went to Gotham for our next performance. It was April 1st, so John and I were going to pull a big prank on our families after the show. But, in the afternoon, I was walking by Pop's trailer and I heard shouting.

Next thing I knew, someone was being thrown out of the trailer and tumbled a few feet away from me.

"I don't want anything to do with your kind!" Pop shouted at him.

The guy got up, and I got a better look at his face. It was lean with high cheekbones and he had a fedora on his head and a toothpick in his mouth. Our eyes met and I backed away on instinct. He turned his attention back to Pop.

"Reconsider," he said in what I thought was supposed to be a friendly voice, but it sounded so…false, "Gotham's not a safe place. You could afford some protection, for a price."

Pop didn't budge, "We don't need protection, now leave!"

And he spat the ground where that guy was standing. He stormed off and Pop finally saw me.

If you think I can remember what happened afterwards, don't. It was a couple of years ago and everything else was a blur. I guess Pop wanted to make sure I was okay, and if there were other guys like him hanging around. The guy's name was Tony Zucco and we didn't know it at the time, but he was a mobster that was climbing the ladder in the criminal underworld.

So, that night, I didn't really think much of it until…

Dick stopped and took a shaky breath. Wally was at his side in an instant.

"Easy, buddy," Wally said softly.

Dick gently pushed his friend away, "No…I can do this."

He took another breath and continued.

When we were getting ready…I saw him. Zucco. But he was dressed like one of our crew. I tried to get my parents to notice, but they didn't hear me. I didn't know what he did, but I tried to ignore it.

We got up the trapeze, the spotlight was on us, and we posed. Then, one by one, my family started doing their act while I stood back and watched. First, my dad. Then my mom. Then my cousin, John. All I could remember was him ruffling my hair like he always did and I felt at ease for a bit. Aunt Karla got on the trapeze, next. When Uncle John got on last, though…

The wire snapped.

They fell, in front of hundreds of people, in front of Pop Haley, and in front of me. Without a safety net.

"Crunch," Dick said softly and stopped.

Almost everyone in the room had misty eyes. Garfield buried himself into M'Gann's arms, the loss of his own mother still fresh. Conner was stony-faced, trying to process the information given. His head bowed in sympathy. Kaldur closed his eyes and sighed, ready to pray. Artemis dug her fingers into her knees, trying not to fall apart. Wally wrapped an arm around Dick again, this time, the comfort was not rejected. Zatanna was there, now, holding Dick as tightly as she could, tears streaming down her face.

Dick's breathing was slow, but steady. His eyes were dry, though he looked like he wanted to cry. He opened his mouth and continued.

The police came. I don't remember coming down the ladder, I think someone had to get me down themselves. Pop and the rest of the family; the clowns, the palm-readers, the jugglers, the tamer, the singers, they were all there for me in an instant.

I didn't think things could get any worse, but they did.

A woman had come not even two hours later, dressed in a grey pencil skirt and white blouse. She reminded me of the Trunchbull, from Mathilda, and she looked at me like I was the one who killed my family.

I had told the police my story and Pop backed me up on it. I just didn't remember if they believed me or not.

The woman said she was from Child Services and that she was here to take me away.

"What?" Kaldur said softly.

"He's going to St. Paul's Home for Criminal Children until further notice."

I was so young back then, I heard the words, but I didn't understand them. Home? The circus was my home. And so were the people who lived there. Then I realized that she said 'criminal' and I pulled away from her as fast as I could. Was it against the law to lose your whole family?

Pop had his arms around me in a second and looked at the woman with horror.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because there's no room in the other foster homes," I could remember how un-sorry she sounded when she said it –

Dick stopped again, this time looking at Kaldur, who was staring bug-eyed and looked apoplectic.

"Forgive me, but…that does not sound like proper protocol," Kaldur observed coolly, "The quote-unquote accident happened not even two hours prior and yet someone already called Child Services?"

"Yeah," Garfield added in a quiet voice. Dick looked at him and saw the boy biting his lip hard, like he was trying to maintain himself, "When my mom…you know…it wasn't…I mean they didn't…"

"Child Services wasn't jumping down to take Garfield that quickly," M'Gann jumped in, wrapping an arm around the boy in a comforting gesture, "It was at least a whole day. At the time, he was staying here while we waited for news."

"And Gotham's pretty crime infested," Artemis scratched her head, "So how did they find the time to get someone over to Haley's Circus that quickly?"

Dick opened his mouth to answer, and then closed it.

"I have done research on how the Surface-Dwellers' realm of government and laws compare and contrast to Atlantis," Kaldur continued, "For someone to arrive at the scene that quickly would be unrealistic. Social Services is a physically and exhausting career choice because so few are willing to apply for those positions. And their immediate solution is to throw you into a prison for minors?! That woman could not have been a social worker, she would have to have shown up 24 hours at the earliest!"

Dick's eyes widened in horror, "You mean I was technically kidnapped?!"

"It would appear so," Kaldur nodded solemnly, "Especially if she was ignoring the fact that your godfather was already with you and was willing to cart you away that quickly."

Dick looked thoughtful, before he smiled darkly,

"You know what? You're right, Kaldur. No wonder Bruce was so pissed when he finally got me out."

"Your guardian?"

"Yep," Dick nodded, "He was at the circus and we were there on his dime, so he saw the accident. If you're expecting me to go into detail about what happened in Juvie, you'd be disappointed. Can't really remember it that well except that the ones who deserved to be in there were mean, there were some kids in there just for stealing for their families – Bruce was really pissed when he found out about that – and there were some who actually had standards. Some jerks tried to beat me up, but it's hard to hit a little kid who could do backflips and could fight someone taller than himself. And even harder if there were some kids were willing to fight for me. Not so much when the guards decided to join in, for 'Fun'. And it was always with the real criminals."

"Tell me he actually got that bitch arrested," Artemis scowled.

Dick's grin grew larger, much like a Cheshire Cat looming above a tree branch. Artemis suddenly thought of Jade.

"Oh," he shook his head, chuckling as if he were told an amusing joke, "You actually want to know what happened to her?"

"Why was he put in here?"

Dick couldn't help but admire the woman for not being intimidated by Mr. Wayne. She didn't seem to flinch, which was something that anyone would have done if a six foot tall man in a dress suit came barging in looking like he belonged to action movies.

On the other hand, maybe she didn't really realize that the other guards and even the person at the desk were shivering like a great wind had made itself known in the building and had taken residence until further notice.

"Because he's a circus freak," the woman said, completely oblivious to the big gestures the other guards were trying to get across to her. And someone facepalming themselves at what she said. Or the person behind Mr. Wayne that was mouthing 'Shut up, you're making things worse, you idiot!'

"How the hell did you see that person mouthing the social worker to shut up?" Garfield piped up.

"Because I was behind the social worker when it happened," Dick said simply.

"You're just handwaving a lot of this, aren't you?" Conner raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe," Dick admitted.

BAM!

She hit the ground and slid three feet across the floor. Dick stared at her and then at Mr. Wayne, suddenly realizing that there was no one else between him and the larger man who looked like he was ready to murder someone.

Suddenly, Mr. Wayne's face changed, like a switch had been flipped in his head. His expression became softer, though the edges of his mouth were awkward, as though he was trying to figure out whether to smile or look solemn.

"Alfred," he said quietly. The man with pepper-gray hair nodded behind him. Mr. Wayne continued as if he knew that his words were silently acknowledged, "I want you to take Richard to the car and make sure he's okay. We might need to make a stop at Leslie's, first."

"Of course, sir," Alfred strode across the room and came behind Dick, gently putting his arms on the boy's shoulders and slowly guiding him out. Dick took one last look at the social worker, and then smirked at the stain on the front of her pencil skirt. She looked even more terrified than everyone else in the room put together now.

As he was guided out the door by the man named Alfred, he could hear Mr. Wayne begin to scream about what a disgrace the staff was and what a horrible woman she was and that they would be ruined by the time he was done with them.

"Wow," Artemis whistled, "Punching a social worker and making her pee herself? If there was a picture of that, I'd buy it."

Kaldur frowned, "Wouldn't his actions have warranted a lawsuit for assault?"

"This is Bruce Wayne we're talking about," Dick said simply like it were the most obvious thing, "He might follow the rules and give to charity, but he's like his mother. A social crusader. What, do you think he would have just taken me out of the place and not investigate what he saw? Seriously, the richest man in Gotham doing nothing about serious child abuse? If he didn't do anything about, I'd actually believe those dumb socialites saying I'm just a charity case."

"Did you hear what happened to the woman afterwards?" Zatanna asked gently.

"I checked online a while ago," Dick explained, "Apparently, there was this massive investigation on the Juvie and the entire staff was arrested and fired. The social worker got blacklisted and the place got a huge makeover. I think that was one of the biggest projects Bruce ever actively funded. Even if he didn't do anything – which would have been insane if he didn't - the media would have picked up on where I was and would have whipped the public into a frenzy. Surviving acrobat in high profile case not given due process and treated like a criminal? I mean, seriously!"

There was a short silence afterwards. No one wanted to speak up after seeing how passionate Dick ranted as his face turned red.

"Why don't we take a break and I'll get some snacks," M'Gann said out loud, "Robin, or, er…Dick. Do you want anything?"

"Water," he said, clearing his throat, "talking for this long isn't fun."


Author's Note: I decided to do this cliché in the form of a sporking, where other characters stop the story to poke holes at it. Also got this idea from reading a TwiSpite fic called Sattelite Eyes where Buffy the Vampire Slayer poked holes at Edward Cullen's "romantic" monologue about why he loves Bella in New Moon.

Also thought it would have been mean to have the others actually mock Dick's origin story, so that is why I had to change it up. I really hate how serious these chapters have been and I wanted some humor in them. I swear, I'll be able to write funnier stuff when I get to the others.

I also admit to REALLY hating this cliché. The 'Dick Grayson Origin Story That Is Never Really Different and Just a Lame Excuse For Fluff That Falls Flat From Plot Holes and Stupidness'. I mean, in most of the Dick Grayson origin stories I read, Bruce NEVER does anything to handle the Juvie problem, even though he is an advocate for child's rights and is considered a philanthropist. Only a few have actually ensured that there is closure on the Juvie bit and I can count them on one hand. And one of them, Becoming Robin, actually dove into what being in Juvie for a month would have done to Dick psychologically instead of most fics that just handwave it. No amount of hugs and cuddles from Daddy!Bats is going to take away the fact that an innocent child was put into a corrupt foster system and abused constantly.

It was pretty dark and I appreciate the fact that the writer actually had the thing resolved in the epilogue.

To clarify, one version of Dick's origins comes from Robin Annual #4, from 1995. It is a more modern retelling of Dick's story, where instead of being sent to an orphanage, he is sent to a Juvie hall on grounds that all foster homes are booked. It is decently written and unfortunately had the same pitfalls that most Dick Grayson origin fics had, where Bruce doesn't do anything to fix the Juvie system. So, if you want something to blame for the bad origin story fics, blame THAT.

I prefer Batman Year Three for Dick's origin, because I think an experience like that in Robin Annual would have made Dick more bitter, especially since Bruce isn't exactly Father of the Year in the comics.

Sorry for the long rant, have a potato.

What? There isn't a potato pic posted here? Then April Fool's!

Thanks for reading, be patient for part three and please review!