Dimitri Belikov's Point of View

Coming out about our relationship created a mix of reactions. Lissa and my family were overjoyed—and began chattering about something I quickly tuned out of, Christian responded with "Well at least somebody got lucky last night," Eddie just smiled, Mia was muttering about how she should've known after targeting Rose for so long, Abe couldn't care less—something told me that he'd known all along, Janine was furious, and lastly, Rose's team was beside themselves—with an exception of Tamara, who watched Denis with a sad look on her face.

Janine bit her tongue, surprisingly, but the glint in her eye said that she'd be talking to both of us later. Denis, however, had no such reservations. He shot up and Rose couldn't get him away from the table fast enough. We could still hear their argument, but at the very most, it gave them a sense of privacy…or at least it did Rose. Denis couldn't care less. "You can't be serious!" He yelled, and a few people glanced over to stare. "How could you be that stupid?"

She flinched and looked around, looking fiercely uncomfortable and as if she was trying to keep ahold of her temper. "Denis, I get that you're worried about me, but I'm fine. What happened… it isn't going to happen again. Look…if you knew the reason why he did it…you'd understand." I wasn't sure that he would.

"No, I wouldn't," Denis contradicted, his voice coming back down to normal levels. "What I do understand is that he chased you out. He broke you and it took years for you to put yourself back together with tape and glue. I can't let that happen again." His eyes met the floor.

He chased you out. He broke you and it took years for you to put yourself back together with tape and glue. Those words rang in my mind, over and over again—because they were true. I couldn't make myself deny them—how could I? I'd done it to protect her, sure…But I'd still hurt her. I'd still hurt the person I loved most, hurt her so badly that she'd left. I thought back to Rose's words. You have to forgive yourself. For real. We all do. If you can't, you can't go on either. We can't. Could I do it? Really do it?

Roza's guardian mask faded into something soft, gentle even. It was beautiful. "I'm not her, Denny," she said quietly, "I'm not…I'm not Aglaii."

I turned to Tamara, Artur, and Lev. "Who's Aglaii?"

They all exchanged glances, wondering whether or not they should answer me. Finally, Tamara speaks, voice sad, and eyes even sadder. "Denny had a little sister. Aglaii. She.." Her voice trailed off, as if she couldn't find the words. Her eyes were filled with tears.

Artur shifted uncomfortably. "She killed herself," He finished, deadpan.

Tamara nodded and swallowed, taking a deep breath. " She and her boyfriend broke up. A month later…she…." She sighed. "And then came Rose. She never said anything—it was like she was a machine. She wouldn't let anyone in… it was like she was afraid to. Eventually we stopped asking questions, but we could hear her crying at night. Crying out your name. By that time, everyone had heard about your transformation, and of course, we were there at your funeral. It didn't make sense for her to be in Russia, especially with the way she spoke about you at the service—it was obvious that it wasn't an unhappy relationship. None of made sense. After about a year we wouldn't hear her crying anymore…but it was obvious that she wasn't happy. Once in a while she'd break down again. I think Denis kept waiting for her to….But she didn't. I think that whenever he looks at you…and then at her he sees Aglaii being taken away from him. He feels like if it happens again that it might just push her over the edge."

I couldn't take it anymore. I was certain that if I heard one more word I would break. Pain washed through me, and it was all I could do to just look at her and remember… remember the lifeless look in her eyes, the circles under her eyes, the tough—unbreakable air around her—the one she'd put up to keep other people out. I'd caused her so much pain and grief and all I could feel was pain. I kept wanting to block it out… to just stop feeling. But maybe that was the point of all this. I couldn't block it out.

Janine looked over at me, and I waited to see anger….anything other than what I saw. "You did it to protect her, didn't you? You thought that if she gave up on you she'd be able to move on with her life. She could be a guardian and grow up and do great things. " She looked up at Abe to find that he was already watching her…and took his hand in hers. Such a small movement that completely took him by surprise—a look that I'd never seen on his face.

Lissa had tears in her eyes but said nothing. Christian hugged her tightly in his arms, whispering something to her that only she could hear. And my family….I waited for anger once again, but I only saw love and happiness, with an exception of Babushka. Her face was blank, but her eyes sparkled when she muttered, "I am surrounded by idiots," softly, causing us all to laugh quietly…though it did nothing to wash away the pain that would be with me for a long time. Forgive yourself.

Guardian Hathaway waited for an answer. "Yes. But it was stupid. I should've known by then that you can't force Rose to do anything she doesn't want to do. She's a force to be reckoned with," I replied softly. I knew Janine heard the real explanation within those lines.

Denis stopped short, all color disappearing from his face. He suddenly looked shaky and pain was echoed in his eyes. "Don't you bring her into this. This is about you and him. About you opening yourself up to be hurt again! And what are your plans now, huh? Are you going to stay here, surrounded by the people who either chased you away or weren't important enough to make you stay?"

And what are your plans now, huh? Are you going to stay here, surrounded by the people who either chased you away or weren't important enough to make you stay? Those words echoed throughout the cafeteria—causing a lot of us to flinch. Vasilisa flinched, and I knew that those words hitting her hard. Christian straightened up and I knew that he'd snap if this kept on.

And that was when it all went to hell. "Those people are my family!" Rose yelled, her face flushing and hot tears burning in her eyes.

"We are your family! You're a part of us. You're like us. You're unpromised."

Unpromised.

"Yeah, I am. But I wasn't supposed to be. Don't you get it, Denis? I was supposed to grow up and graduate and be a guardian—be Lissa's guardian. I was supposed to be happy. I was supposed to get the best of both worlds—Dimitri was supposed to get reassigned and we were supposed to be together. We were supposed to make it work. I was supposed to go to Lehigh with Lissa and then come home—home, Denis. Come home to Court and home to my family and home to Dimitri. But I can't have that life now. But I want it—I want it so badly. It was imperfect and flawed and a complete mess—but that's why I want it. That's who I am-I am unpromised. But I'm not supposed to be. And maybe I have to be, but none of that really mattered in the first place if I can't have them, Denny. If I can't have Lissa and Dimitri and everyone else that I love—including you and Tamara and Artur and Lev. You guys are my family. But so are they. I don't know what I'm going to do about any of it. I just know that I want you on my side. I need my team." There was something sad in her eyes—a little girl's plea to escape all of the hell our world brought on.

Something broke in Denis then—the fight faded out of him. "We'll always be your team. We'll always be that." he said after a few moments. He walked over to Tamara and took her hand, and I knew that that was their moment. The moment that made us all believe that we could right the wrongs we'd made and keep going. It seemed like everyone was getting their moments…and I knew that Roza and I would never get ours if I couldn't let the past go and forgive myself. The thing was, I wasn't sure I wanted to let the past go—not completely. I wanted all of those things Rose had just mentioned…for both of us. Because maybe, just maybe…

Maybe, just maybe I deserved to be happy to.

Maybe there was hope for me after all.

I can't imagine a world without hope, Roza had said once.

And now, I couldn't either. Because if we had no hope, what was the point of it all?

(A/N I love you guys so much. Thank you for always reviewing and reading—no matter how long I take to update. Things have been hectic with school and honestly I want to finish this story and start something new—I've got all these thoughts in my head for future storylines and it makes it hard to focus on this one. I think that there will be about 2 more chapters to this story, give or take.

Our characters will be faced with some very difficult choices in the chapters to come—where they will go, what will they do. Rose said it herself, she doesn't know what she's going to do. And what about Dimitri? Can he forgive himself? Even if he does…can Rose leave her team behind? Will it come down to her choosing her having to choose her family or her team-Court or Russia (or is there another place in mind)? What will our favorite heroine do? Keep on reading to find out!

I can't thank you guys enough. R&R!)