Apologies. Midterms. Brutal. Oh and PS first half is for laughs but pg13 for lewdity and raunchy humor. Try to resist reading it now ;)

"I'm glad to see I'm so interesting," Brennan remarked dryly. Cam had the grace to blush as Cole gave a very convincing performance of being sound asleep, his head lolling onto the back of the couch.

The lab was in the lounge; they had left the interns in the 'nursery.' Brennan and Booth had agreed to supervise their godchildren for the night. Hodgins, Angela, Cole and Cam had all planned an elaborate double date. For the first time in weeks the two women had all managed to wrestle into dresses and curl their hair. Cam had rarely felt so glamorous and she knew it was because of lack of practice.

Angela had brought out a bottle of wine for a round of conversation, feeling bad leaving Booth and Brennan saddled with the two infants without any socializing. Halfway into Brennan's newest discovery/lecture about her work, Cole had nodded off.

"Should we-" Cam gestured. Booth chuckled under his breath. Cam slapped Cole's arm.

No response.

"Cole," she whispered under her breath. She looked up as she shook him hard. "It's a surgeon thing…I-" she was interrupted by Cole's loud groan.

"Jesus Camille. We've done it like three times. Could you keep it in your pants for like a sec-" he opened his eyes and closed his mouth. "-ond?"

Booth's chuckle became a roar of laughter echoed by everyone else. Cam dropped her face into her hands.

"Getting busy playing doctor?" Angela winked.

"With the doctor," Cole corrected cheekily.

"A healthy sexual life is not humorous," Brennan touted with a frown. Another round of laughter broke out at her idea of humor. Angela nodded at her.

"Keep that in mind sweetie," and left Brennan to puzzle through that.

"Glad to see you finally scoring," Booth hit her on the arm. Cam swallowed several times, her face stuck in the odd grin of the mortified.

"I'm sorry," Cole whispered in exasperation, "but that's how I usually get woken up!" His whisper was more for them than her. Everyone doubled over. Hodgins wiped tears from his eyes as Angela leaned against his shoulder.

"I'm glad my sex life is so amusing to you," Cam sniped waspishly at Booth. "No, no," he said, attempting to be placating with serious hand gestures that didn't match the stupid little grin on his face. "I'm glad you got picked up by a cheesy line."

"Who said it was cheesy?" Cole objected. Everyone continued laughing until Cam herself cracked a wry grin.

"I bet I can guess it," Booth nodded with a wink. He tapped Cam on the shoulder purposefully. "Ask me what time it is."

"Okay…what time is it?"

"No you have to say, 'do you have the time.'" Cam dutifully walked into the bait.

"Do you have the time?" Booth winked ludicrously.

"Do you have the energy?"

"Oh!" Hodgins catcalled. "And that's how it's done!"

"That's the worst pick up line I've ever heard," Cam mocked disparagingly.

"No," Hodgins laughed. "The worst I've heard is 'Did you know your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated?'"

"Wait, what?" coughed Angela into her wine glass. "How would that pick up a girl? That just proves he's gay to even notice these things."

"Burn," Cole said in a hurt voice. "I have black sheets that go beautifully with Cam's hair…"

"Don't say it," she warned him as he wiggled his eyebrows. He did anyway.

"…down there."

"Oh!" Hodgins called again as they all laughed harder. Angela leaned forward with a sultry expression on her face that had Hodgins choking more than laughing on his mouthful of tepid red wine.

"Excuse me," she laid a hand on Cam's sleeve. "Is your dress felt?"

"What?" Cam asked in bewilderment. She blushed into her drink. "No." Angela winked and nodded with a cock to her hip.

"Would you like it to be?"

"Damn!" crowed Booth. Cam spat her wine back into her glass in helpless laughter.

"Well that answers that question," Cole put in, jerking a thumb at her. "Maybe swallow next time?" She hit him between the legs and he gasped for air. Everyone else choked helplessly on their own spit.

"Okay, okay," wheezed Cole, "I'll tell you."

"What? No…you didn't use a line on me…" Cam stuttered, trying to remember anything embarrassing he might be about to reveal.

"But I was thinking it," he winked. "And it's a good one."

"Tell us!" Hodgins rooted.

"Yes please," Brennan put in primly; she had been laughing more out of good spirit, Cam suspected, than comprehension.

"Cole," she warned. He grinned roguishly, his eyebrows tilting down in that terrible, dangerous way. He turned his head sharply as he literally licked his chops and brought on his incredibly sexy and incredibly annoying Boston brogue.

"Hey baby, I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you?" He waited expectantly while the others catcalled her to respond. She didn't know where it was going but she could tell it was somewhere bad. She heaved a huge sigh and finally squeaked:

"No –" but before she could say anything else, Cole had flung his arm around her and waggled his eyebrows.

"Would you like some?" It took her a few seconds to get it before she flushed like a firework. Angela and Hodgins were digging tiny nail shaped marks into each other's arms as they laughed raucously. Booth had to set his wine glass down to hold on to his chair. Brennan shook her head ruefully.

"Do you want to go?" Cam asked Angela, trying very hard to ignore the three men dying of laughter.

"I don't know, are you coming?" Cole squeaked in.

"Oh my God, what are you, seventeen?" Cole winked again.

"I won't tell if you won't."

"Oh my God!" she screeched. "Can we please play like adults?"

"Not a word," Angela said severely to her husband pointing her finger.

"What plays between us, stays between us." Cole, who had been trying to stand, collapsed back on the couch in helpless laughter as a cherry red Hodgins stood sheepishly and took his wife's arm.

"Get out," Angela pointed at Cole and then at the door. Completely unfairly, Cole obediently slunk before her, a recalcitrant smug smile on his stupidly handsome face.

"Have fun tonight," Booth encouraged her with a wink and a thumbs up. He then proceeded to stick his thumb –

"OUCH!" he yelped.

"You were being lewd," Brennan informed him severely. A handprint reddened his cheek. Cam high fived her coworker who completed the gesture awkwardly.

"You're my hero," she informed Brennan.

"Jesus Bones."

"I thought you said you weren't supposed to swear in Jesus' name," she reminded him.

"Yeah but –"

"But what? I thought you were raising Parker to do as Jesus would do. I believe Jesus would have slapped you."

"Burn," Hodgins catcalled from down the corridor. "Cam, you coming?"

"Hold on, let me check," Cole answered him. She heard a sound of a high five.

"NOT A WORD," she hissed at Booth and stalked away to the sound of the partner's bickering.

"Well do I get to slap you?"

"I suppose that's only fair."

"Do I get to choose where?"

Another slap.

"Well then that's just two," Booth added cheekily. "Hey, what the, OUCH! Look, if I had known you liked it rough – OUCH. Okay, seriously Bones what the –OUCH!"

"Oh. Sorry. I thought you were going to say something obscene again."

"My face hurts."

"I said I was sorry."

Cam was too far away to hear anymore.

"How's it going?" Cam asked sarcastically into her Bluetooth earpiece. She could hear Booth wince.

"Not so loud," he grumbled back into his own. "I'm in the car."

"Yes I know," Cam sighed patiently. "Where are you guys now?"

"Me and the meathead are still on stakeout in the car outside the guy's place."

"Where's…Felicia?" Cam said her sister's name with distaste.

"She's still walking. Her heels slow her down."

"Yeah," sighed Cam. She steepled her fingers over her desk, staring absently at both of her daughters. Michelle was playing with Toni.

"Look here's the plan," Booth said for the thousandth time. Cam knew it was to calm his nerves to go over the playbook over and over.

"K."

"She walks in with the fake check. He'll get mad. She'll say she didn't know he needed cash. When he starts being really threatening and gives himself away, she'll buzz us and we'll come in with his confession on tape."

"You really think she's smart enough to pull that off?" Cam scoffed darkly.

"Careful," Booth growled. "I have a feeling someone thinks so." Cam knew what Booth meant, despite his careful wording. Sergio had taken to Felicia like a duck to water. She had not warmed to him as much.

"Ok, here she goes," Booth murmured. "She's rounded the corner." Cam swallowed as she imagined her sister's steps faltering. As much as she disliked Felicia, she couldn't ever will her sister into danger. She wasn't sure how much Felicia was exaggerating.

There was a horrible thumping noise and Booth's breath came hot and quick over his earpiece.

"STOP! FBI!" he bellowed.

"Policia!" she could hear Sergio adding. A woman screamed. Cam wondered if it was Felicia. She wanted to yank the phone hard away from her ear but her gaze was arrested by Toni. She felt sick to her stomach. She sank back in her chair at the sounds she was catching. Scraping chairs. The distinctive sounds of a body slamming up against the wall. Booth grunting. Glass breaking. And crying. Crying. Crying.

"Cam?" Michelle was at her elbow with a worried frown. Cam gasped in shock.

"You scared me," she whispered.

"Sorry," Michelle and Booth responded simultaneously.

"Do you want to take her?" Michelle asked, holding out her arms. Toni wailed, red faced and angry. Cam breathed a huge sigh of relief. She uncrossed her legs that she had kept tightly bound against her body, making her stomach knot with familiar tension. She put her arms out.

"I'll take her."

"Felicia?" Booth asked in confusion into the earpiece. "Hey – hey – buddy. I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"The baby," she retorted crisply.

"I'll call you from the car."

"Okay," she whispered.

"Are you okay?" Michelle asked worriedly. A horn honked, interrupting her. She looked immediately awkward. Neither of them had much experience with the new honesty between them. Cam could tell Michelle didn't want to leave her in the middle of an unspoken breakthrough – or breakdown- the way they had often dealt with their issues in the past.

"Go," Cam assured her. "I'll be fine here."

"That's Bekah," Michelle said awkwardly at the same time, shouldering her purse with a half shrug of embarrassment at the timing. Cam raised an eyebrow.

"Where are you going?"

"Just out with friends."

"Michelle," Cam said warningly. Michelle swallowed.

"I'll be good."

"Be home by midnight. Sober."

"Cam!" she shrieked, or protested, Cam wasn't a good enough mother to tell. Yet.

The car honked again. Michelle made a disgusted teenager face that was more suited to her age than their previous tentative steps.

"Fine," she groaned.

"I love you too!" Cam called after her.

"Mmm, a fresh start to the morning," Cole called, sidling through the door.

"Hi Cole," Michelle said coyly.

"Michelle," he teased back in her favorite mocking tone. She giggled, in better spirits than she had left with Cam.

"Can you take-" he fumbled.

"Sure, I'm out the door though," she said as she expertly took one of his daughters and placed her on a quilt in the corner of the living room so that Cole could walk more easily without juggling. Andie took a few tottering steps before abruptly sitting down the way young toddlers were wont to do.

"I'm going to go put her in the playpen," Cole remarked as he breezed by with Kitty.

"Isn't it her nap time?" Cam called. "You can put her in the crib."

"What about Toni?"

"She'll get cranky in about half an hour. They can share." Cole looked surprise as he backed down the hallway, so familiar with the contours in the carpeting now he didn't even trip when he turned blindly through the correct door to Toni's new butter yellow nursery.

Cole had practically moved in. The first morning Michelle had walked into the kitchen to find him cheerfully pouring himself a bowl of cereal at six in the morning getting ready for surgery, she had squeaked in shock. But there was no cure to the onslaught of his incorrigible charm. The two had become fast friends, to Cam's dubious surprise.

He became such a nuisance, always forgetting his coats, his briefcase, his laptop, or his favorite pen at her house that she had given him a key more out of exasperation, she suspected, than genuine affection, not that it was lacking. Cam didn't need to be reminded by the spring leaves outside that it was already past the six month mark since they had first met.

Their relationship, however, was cautious and not well defined. Though he had a key to her house, she didn't have one to his. They hadn't discussed anything more serious. Cam half suspected, but never would dare to say aloud, that Cole was waiting out of graciousness (well disguised beneath his endearing jackass personality) for Michelle to go to college so that her home life would be as stable as it could be in her last teenage years after a rough start.

So it was a complete surprise when he ducked back into the living room while she sat nursing Toni and jerked a thumb over his shoulder.

"What do you say about me moving two extra cribs in there?" She didn't consult her brain before blurting:

"What?" He looked slightly annoyed.

"Come on doll, I'm always here. I practically live here. And that means the girls live here. We can't keep letting them sleep on the floor or share beds or build a playpen with their blankets and pillows. Let's be realistic. Actually Andie is getting to the age where we could think about a toddler bed – you know, the ones with railings."

"What do I say?" Cam blundered, acutely aware she was half naked and couldn't concentrate when although his words were serious, his eyes were stuck to her chest. He was a twelve year old boy. Honestly. She jerked her shirt back up somewhat modestly but mostly angrily. "You don't even keep your clothes here! You want to move your daughters into my house?" She breathed a huge blustery sigh before pinching the bridge of her nose. He was a twelve year old boy, but she sounded like a petty six year old girl. "What about your house?"

"What about it?"

"What about getting a crib for Toni there?"

"How this usually goes Camille," he said, for once using her name, which he reserved for serious occasions. He came around the couch to sink next to her and absently took Toni from her to bump on his shoulder so she could have her hands free to gesticulate her frustration with him. "One of us would sell our house. And I'm willing for it to be me."

"You're asking me to move in with you?" She had not expected this. In reality he had sort of invited himself to move in with her. He frowned.

"Wait…I'm confused…did I miss something? Did you or did you not give me your house key?"

"Yes but-"

"Was I not there when your daughter was born?"

"Yes but-"

"We're not the usual couple, in case you haven't noticed."

"Don't call me Camille," was the only inane thing she could think of to say. Her phone rang in her lap, scaring her. Toni began to cry. She stared at Booth's name. "I have to take this," she muttered, and walked down the hall before slamming her bedroom door shut.

"What?" she snapped at Booth. He didn't have to speak, only draw breath, for Cam to know her best friend was flabbergasted by her response. He had been expecting her to be waiting anxiously for his call. She would have if Cole hadn't just dropped the metaphorical anvil on her head.

"It went well," he assured her. "Is everything okay? Where are you? Are you at the lab?" His concern for Brennan would have been more touching in light of all they had overcome if it wasn't so goddamn annoying.

"I'm at home. I'm fine."

"Uh huh." He sounded as convinced as she felt.

"Cole asked me to move in with him," she blurted. She corrected herself as she ground her teeth and began pacing back and forth. She felt nauseous again with new worry. She tugged at the waistband of her jeans. They were too loose now. "Well actually he invited himself to move in. To my house. Can you believe that? He just asked me if he could put cribs in."

"I didn't think your house was big enough," Booth said practically. "Wouldn't the two of you –"

"Move into his house?" she screeched. "There's nothing wrong with my house!"

"I was going to say," Booth said patiently, "look for a new one."

"Why are you taking this so calmly?" she asked wildly. "I'm freaking out!"

"I can see that," he said in deep amusement.

"Don't be smart with me," she warned him. She didn't need to see his expression again to know he was making a face.

"Who me? I'm not smart."

"Why is this happening?" she moaned.

"I'd thought you'd be happy."

"I am! I mean – I don't know! What do you think?"

"I think you should call Angela," he said quickly.

"Booth?" she asked questioningly before snatching her phone away. "The bastard hung up on me," she muttered.

"Is it something I said?" Cole asked. Cam leaned against the door; he could tell because he jiggled the knob and try to force it inwards. She dug her heels into the floor. He could have easily forced his way in; he didn't. He brought out the worst in her. She was being childish and she knew it.

"Angel, open the door."

"I can't," she said, very quietly.

"Just get out of the way." She unwillingly stood away but he wisely stayed in the threshold as she stood in front of him. He had left Toni in her crib.

"You don't want to move in together?"

"No but-"

"Is it the way I asked? I could do it better, I promise." He was eager, a coyote grin turning slate grey eyes all puppy dog.

"No but-"

"Is it because of Michelle?"

"No but…" This time he let her finish. She couldn't.

"Is this because of Toni?" he said it softly this time, and came through the door to wrap his perfect surgeon hands around her arms. He tried to catch her gaze by squirming his head into her line of sight; not easy when she was trying very hard to have a staring contest with the floor.

"No." She said it mulishly, but resignedly. The floor won and she looked up at him.

"I can't always keep guessing. Our relationship can't be about one of us guessing until we figure it out."

"I don't know how," she confessed.

"How to what? Move in? Build a crib?"

"This."

"This what? I just said it about the guessing doll, it's damnably annoying."

"I don't know how to do this."

"God just tell me!" Cole exploded, running his fingers through his hair and then grabbing his opposite arms tightly instead of holding hers. She felt the cold air come to claim her sudden goosebumps.

"What if…what if he comes somewhere down the line…and I…"

"The father?" She felt sick settle on her tongue at that word. He wasn't Toni's father. He was just some guy in a bar who happened to get her pregnant. Toni's real father…he was standing in the room. But she couldn't say that aloud. Things usually ended badly, anyways.

"We'll deal with it," he promised, folding her into a hug suddenly with the mercurial moods he carried with him like an extra jacket. She was purposefully stiff in his arms.

"We may not make it," she said steadily. He looked thunderstruck.

"Now?" She inhaled sharply. Dear Lord she really did suck at being a girl. No wonder her mother had preferred Felicia; she was easier to relate to. Cole thought she was breaking up with him now. She had been trying to be pragmatic.

"God no! I'm just…it's good to be…"

"Prepared?" he said dryly. "You think I'm not going to stick around."

"I'm saying people change. What you want today may not be what you want tomorrow."

"That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard," he said flatly, and she felt her hopes lift until he rolled his eyes. "I like Chinese food. I've always liked Chinese food. I always will like Chinese food. That's not going to change."

"What I'm saying isn't about Chinese food…"

"You're the Chinese food!"

"What?"

"You're the sticky rice that gets in the sheets when we eat in bed and the crumbs from the fortune cookies we always crush because we actually physically fight over them. You're that extra soy sauce packet that I always hide in my pocket so you won't steal it."

"You hide it?" Cam squeaked in righteous indignation. Her throat was too full to squeak about anything else.

"People change? Really? Look at Felicia. Did she change?" Cam unwillingly shook her head. "Have you really changed over the years? Do you really think that you wouldn't be proud of where you were at fifteen? At five?"

"Well I didn't imagine I'd be a coroner at five," she replied tartly.

"A federal coroner," he reminded her with a smug grin, "and a forensic pathologist. You're like a super crime fighter. A superhero team like the Fantastic Four. Most kids would be impressed with that."

"I…"

"And you got that same spitfire temper," he said. His voice dropped about two octaves. "On and off the field…" She smacked him, but not with any real force.

"You're just trying to charm me," she said unwillingly.

"Is it working?" he asked hopefully.

"Doll," she falsely drawled, smacking him hard on his butt and pulling his lapels closer. "You bet it is."