35. Secrets

TOBIAS

It was a rather trying day, so I decide to skip the train ride home. It's early still and I could use the walk.

Zeke didn't come in today so the council meeting had to be rescheduled, and I now have the sweet privilege of having to return in a few days, as if sitting and listening to Victor criticize every possible thing once in this week was not enough. I make a mental note to strangle Zeke when I see him.

I don't particularly enjoy being in this building unnecessarily. As many times as I have been here, walking the halls of Erudite headquarters never fails to reopen old wounds. So I take off as soon as I can, and I walk under the late evening sun, choosing better thoughts as my company. I mostly think of Tris. So much so that by the time I get back to Dauntless, my legs ache and they tremble slightly from exertion but my mind is clear and free of torment and there's a smile on my face.

My body instantly relaxes at the sight of dark hallways and the smell of old, underground air. I'm home. Or at least I'm almost there as I enter the lobby of the living quarters in the Pire. I make my way down the halls and I contentedly turn the last corner. That's when I see him; Zeke, arms folded, leaning against the wall beside my front door.

"Did you lock yourself out again, baby?" I ask impishly as I approach. I give him a concerned look and I try to keep myself from grinning.

"Ha," he smiles. "Your wife got jealous and stole my keys."

"I already told her it's not like that with you and me. It's just work." I wink. "Speaking of which, you should've told me you were ditching the meeting today," I say slightly irritated, suddenly remembering that I have yet to strangle him. "I wouldn't have wasted my time going over there. Where were you?"

"I had to get to the bottom of something," he explains.

"Well I hope it was important. You know I hate that place," I mumble.

As I open my briefcase to rummage around for my keys, Zeke's smile disappears. "It was," he says. "Your boy's gonna get himself in trouble."

"What?" I ask, puzzled by the unexpected remark. He can't be referring to Christian, so that leaves, "Alex?" I scoff. "He wouldn't even know how to go around looking for trouble. And if he is in trouble it was Daniel's idea. I can promise you that," I add, crossing my arms, and with a chuckle I say, "And in that case that's your problem, not mine."

My son is just about the most responsible seventeen year old in Dauntless, whereas Daniel is just as nuts as Zeke was at sixteen and he knows that. So I don't expect him to take offense, but as I reach down to unlock my door I hear tension in his voice when he says, "Four, I'm serious."

I look up and the humour leaves my face as I realize that there's none on his. It's disturbing. In all the years I've known Zeke, I've hardly ever seen him so stern.

"Let's take a walk," he says, his voice dipping down. I'm sure he can see the confusion plastered on my face, but he says nothing.

Zeke's arms unfold and when he begins to walk all I can do is follow behind. With an equal mix of curiosity and apprehension I can't help but wonder exactly what my son has gotten himself into. The question almost threatens to jump out of my throat but I know Zeke won't say a word until we're in a more private location. My palms begin to sweat as my mind runs rampant with possibilities, although none of them are things I could even imagine Alex doing. The idea that I don't know my son as well as I think I do is more than troubling.

Zeke and I walk until we're nowhere near the living quarters. We both used to work in the control room, so I know he knows that there are no cameras in this part of the compound. Uneasy to the point of desperation I say, "This is far enough."

"Not yet," Zeke replies. He continues walking until we're even deeper into the abandoned part of Dauntless. It was used for storage in earlier times, but that was so long ago that not many people know this part of the compound even exists.

Finally, he stops at a large, metal door. It's heavy and it makes a guttural noise as Zeke pushes it open. He ushers me in.

"What's he gotten himself into, Zeke?" I practically vomit the words as Zeke closes the door behind us.

"Let's go ask his sidekick over there," he says, nudging his head to the back of the room.

It takes a while for my eyes to adjust to the sudden decrease in light, but when they do I see a very frightened Daniel seated on a chair in the right corner of the large, empty room. My heart races, and even though he's the one sitting alone in an abandoned chamber like a kidnapping victim waiting to be tortured by his captors, I'm the one sweating. Dani's an initiate, and Zeke would not have pulled him out of initiation for the day if the situation weren't absolutely dire.

"Look, Uncle Four, I had nothing to do with this. I swear," Dani begs as we inch up on him. "But I'd rather if Alex told you himself. I'm sure he'd prefer that too."

"We don't have time for that, so stop your whining and start from the beginning," Zeke says. His voice is uncharacteristically firm.

Dani looks somewhere south of my eyes when he begins. "Well it all started at that Amity party we went to last year before Alex's and Anna's choosing ceremony," he says reluctantly. "I was dancing with Anna and then Alex sort of disappeared."

I try to destroy the mental picture my imagination has created of Daniel Pedrad dancing with my daughter.

"Get to the point, Dani," I urge.

"Well when I found him he was in the orchards talking to this Amity girl. He seemed to really like her. I didn't realize just how much until he kept going back to see her, and then he snuck out of the compound during initiation for her birthday."

"He did what?" I ask, frantic. One of my only requests to my children is to abide by the rules of their faction, as hard and uncomfortable as that may be for us, in order to avoid discovery. The city's leaders already know that Divergents exist, but that doesn't mean it's safe. As for initiation, I had told the twins to get in and get out. With them being trained and Rae watching over them the threat was significantly less, but even the smallest of risks is still a risk.

"Was he caught?" I demand.

"No," Daniel gulps.

"Then proceed," I say, though I'm uncertain I'm prepared to hear the rest of this. This story can only get worse.

"After initiation, Alex took a job by the fence so that he could see her every day. And at first I thought that he was just having fun, you know?" Dani continues. "Nothing he could get in any real trouble for. But then, about a month later he started to borrow some of Anna's clothes to sneak her in. She'd spend the night and then he'd take her home in the morning when he left for work."

I stiffen and my face twists in on itself. "Let me get this straight," I say tersely. "You're telling me that Alex has been illegally sneaking his Amity girlfriend into the Dauntless compound?"

Dani nods reluctantly and I glance between him and Zeke several times, desperately waiting for either one of them to tell me that this is all a well thought out prank. Neither does. This is real.

I take a moment to let that sink in.

With my head in my hand, I take a breath. Of all my children, it just had to be Alex. Of course it would be Alex. In so many ways he is just like me, and as Dauntless born as he is I'm sure there are times when he feels as though he doesn't belong here. Because of that I've always been worried about him, especially when it came to him finding someone. To be honest I'm not at all surprised that he would fall for someone outside our faction. I can't ever imagine Alex with a Dauntless girl. I know I certainly did not have any interest in them during the two years I spent here before I met Tris. But neither can I imagine him alone. He deserves better than that. He is greater than the options that have been given to him. He is more than his faction, but that is not his fault. He is prisoner to a flawed system, and knowing that, should I ever really allow myself to be upset with him?

Shaking my head, and upset regardless because he hid this from me, I wave Dani on.

"As time went on, Alex started bringing her around more often," he says, "and his eyes would do this thing when he talked about her. I had never seen him like that with a girl before, and that's when I started worrying. I mean, there's no way they could really be together anyways, right?"

No there isn't. I already know where this is going and I don't like it one bit.

"So I told him to be careful," Dani continues. "But then Alex told me that he was trying to convince her to come to Dauntless. I told him he was out of his mind. Abby's as Amity as they come. The girl's a gem. She's got a sunflower for a heart. She would've been slaughtered."

"Abby?" I ask. Her name feels strange on my lips.

"Yeah. That's her name. Abigail," Daniel says. "When Alex told her that he wanted her to switch factions they had this huge fight about it. That was like a month ago, the week before her choosing ceremony. She broke up with him and told him that she'd never make it through initiation and that she wouldn't leave her faction. She chose Amity and Alex was pretty broken up about it."

Of course he was... is. Alex is almost the same age I was when I fell in love with Tris, and I was as much willing to die for her then than I am now. Him and I, we're like the vampires that Anna reads about in those ridiculous books of hers. Or the mythical wolf-man creatures that imprint on their life mate. There's only ever going to be one. It's the Abnegation in us. And if she is that for him, and Alex was spending those nights the way I think he was, then losing her will destroy him.

"She would have made it," I say angrily. "I would have seen to it! If Alex had just come to me instead of committing crimes against the government while I was sleeping-"

"He knows that," Dani interrupts me, his voice pleading. "And he told her that. Abby didn't want to. She wouldn't fit in here. She couldn't."

My entire family doesn't completely fit in here either, but we draw strength from the fact that we're not alone. She would have found comfort in us. She would have belonged among us and Alex knows that. This will break him.

"So where is Alex now?" I ask hesitantly, afraid that my son might be drinking himself to death, or worse.

"My guess is in his apartment… With Abby."

The confusion shows on my face when I say, "I thought you said she broke up with him and went back to Amity."

"That's actually why we're here," Zeke says, and he takes a step closer to me. I had almost forgotten that he was here. He's been silent this whole time. I should have known that there was more to this story. Zeke was a positive driving force in me and Tris' relationship, but I highly doubt that he is that much concerned with my son's love life to have called this meeting.

"He's been extra careful for the most part," Zeke says, "avoiding all the cameras when he snuck her in. I can't imagine how he obtained the knowledge of every single blind spot on the compound."

My paranoia was responsible for that. If my children ever needed to leave this place undetected, I made sure that they could have. Daniel grins and I assume that Alex shared this knowledge with him. God knows what ridiculous things they must have snuck into the compound.

"But last night she wasn't," Zeke continues. "I was covering a shift at the control room for Harrison when I saw her sneak in through the old side door. She was dressed in full Amity colours but I just figured it was some factionless woman looking for shelter from the rain. I wouldn't have thought much of it except she started running and it looked like she knew exactly where she was going. I followed her on the cameras until I figured out where she was headed, then I left the control room and trailed her into the common residential wing. I thought that maybe somebody had called for some 'friendly' entertainment, but then I saw that she went into Alex's apartment and we both know he's not the type," Zeke smirks. "So I rushed back to the control room to delete the footage before anyone else could see it. He's in the clear, from last night at least. But I thought you'd like to know that your son is toying around with the law and he's setting himself up for trouble. This won't end well for him. For either of them."

It is so ridiculous that I almost want to laugh. And then I do. "You have got to be kidding me," I say under my breath. "What exactly is their plan?" I ask, cynical. I know my son, and now that she's back in his life he will stop at nothing to be with this girl. Unfortunately, at this point, it's a lost cause.

"Alex told me that he was gonna talk to his grandmother… and they'd live factionless." Dani whispers the latter part of his sentence and he coils into his seat when I scream, "What?!"

I feel the blood leave my legs and my arms and it rushes to my face, bringing a heat there.

"I bet Evelyn would just love that," Zeke adds. My mother would be delighted to have them. Assuming that either one of them could fight their way past me. I'd be dead before I let my son or his girlfriend live factionless.

As if he reads my thoughts, Dani raises both palms in the air and says, "Don't die, Uncle Four. Abby didn't want that either. So technically, they don't have a plan. They don't know what to do."

"Well you'd better be a damn good friend and remind him that faction before anything is highly enforced in this city and that his inability to comply could cost him his faction or his life," Zeke says to his son.

He turns to face me. "Things were different for her before her initiation. But now, they're both full-fledged members of their faction. I don't need to tell you that if they're caught in a love affair their loyalty to the factions will be called into question and they will be tried as traitors. They could both spend the rest of their lives factionless or imprisoned." Zeke folds his arms and says, "The council doesn't really have a policy on this kinda thing, since nobody's ever been crazy enough to even think about it. But I can imagine they'll want to make an example of them. Don't forget that Victor already has it out for your people. I wouldn't be surprised if he pushed for them to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. And that's gonna get ugly real fast."

I grin smugly. "You know I'd never let them touch my son," I say, my voice grave. "And Victor would have three bullets in his head before he ever suggested it." But my grin falters and I release a shaky breath when suddenly I see the bigger picture.

"Exactly," Zeke says, serious.

And though it has yet to be provoked, I can smell vengeance thick in the air. No one has to tell me the lengths that I would go to protect my son, as out of his mind as he is. If they ever caught him, it would be their worst mistake. They would threaten him and I would viciously neutralize them. I wouldn't just cripple them, I'd end them.

"And when you stand beside him, I stand beside you. And who knows, he could even pick up a few sympathizers along the way. Everybody loves a good love story." Zeke stares at me intently and adds, "Your boy could start a war, Four." Terror and excitement awakens me as that fact becomes undeniably clearer by the minute.

"Is peace really that fragile around here?" Daniel asks, sounding unsure as if to speak at all. No one answers him. But yes, it is.

"Look. Just tell Alex to be careful, ok?" Zeke urges. "As hard as it is he may need to move on."

Daniel and I exchange a glance. He and I both know that's not how this story ends.

"And if he doesn't?" I ask, but Zeke knows what I'm really asking him. I'm asking him if this could be it. If this could be the moment we strike. We've waited all of seventeen years to finish what we started, and even now we face the same deterrents as we did then. Nobody remembers the past, and all those loyal to the factional divisions will stand against us. It could be brutal. But this is my son, and I will bring them down either way.

"If he doesn't then we'll need to be ready," Zeke says. "If we decide to do this, then we do this properly. This time it sticks."

I nod.

"This time?" Daniel interjects quietly in the background. His face twisted in a confused whirl.

The hardest part of all of this is that our children have no idea, and now we have to tell them. We've prepared them for war, but who is to say that they will go? This is not their fight. They know nothing of Jeanine Matthews, mind controlling serums and mass murder. They know nothing of Erudite bigotry and despotism, of stealing memories and lives. And then there's the occasion that they do go. The direst thing about going to war is you may not come back.

I glance at Daniel and then at his father, pointing out the risks involved. Zeke understands the gesture.

"That's why we've trained them, Four," he says. "They're ready."

"And Shauna?" I ask quietly. Zeke and Shauna weren't planning on having another baby. It just happened. And now Jackson is barely nine months old.

"We all are," Zeke says. He pauses, and scanning my face he sees the uneasiness there. I would gladly risk my life for my son, but I have no right risking anyone else's. "It's as good a time as any, Four," he says, "We're not getting any younger."

Zeke cracks a smile and sincerely I say, "Thanks, Zeke." He knows that I'd hate to incite mayhem on this city without my best man in agreement. I'm more than relieved to know that he is. After all, this affects us all.

Daniel stares at us in utter confusion and says, "You two speak about whether or not to start a war as if you're deciding whether or not you want butter on your toast for breakfast." And it sounds silly, but it's not far from the truth. This war actually does hang on something quite simple; whether or not Alex wants to be with Abigail.

"Wait, who have you been training?" Daniel suddenly asks, his voice more serious. He looks at his father who then looks at me apprehensively. I nod slightly at Zeke. He has to tell him. But before he ever figures out how Daniel's eyes open wide and his face hangs in realization when he says, "Us? You've been training us?"

Zeke turns to Dani whose eyes are begging for an explanation. Without another word I turn and I leave, closing the door behind me, giving Zeke this moment to explain to his son everything that has been withheld from him for the past sixteen years of his life.

I walk back the way we came, along the unfamiliar pathway, thinking about what I will say to my own son. Thinking about how I will explain to my wife that Alex has been defying the government for the past year, he has no intention to yield to factional law and because of that we may now be at the brink of war... again.

By the time I get back home I know there's still some time before Tris gets back, but when my hand falls on the doorknob it turns and the door swings open. The lights are off and I immediately look around to see who's in my house, when in the shadows I see a tall, dark haired figure standing by the window just looking out. He turns around and it's like looking in a mirror.

"Alex," I say to him. He looks at me with tormented eyes. I guess he finally decided to come to me.

"Dad," he says, and it's all that he says. There's an awkward silence as we stare at each other. Neither of us moves.

"Why didn't you come to me sooner?" I finally decide to say. My voice is so heavy it frightens even me. His eyes widen at the realization that I know his secret.

"You know? How?"

"Zeke saw her come in last night. He was in the control room. Daniel filled in the blank spaces after we tortured him."

Alex sighs heavily into his palm. Obviously he didn't remember to consider the possibility of her being seen.

"Don't worry," I say, flat and expressionless. "He deleted the footage. No one saw her."

"Remind me to thank him for that later," he says. If he thinks deleting camera footage is badass, wait until he hears the rest of our plan.

"You didn't answer my question," I say, and I sound upset, but I'm not. I'm hurt, I realize.

"It's not that I didn't want to. I was just afraid to put you in an uncomfortable position."

"And now? What kind of position do you think I'm in now, Alex? You're damn lucky Zeke just happened to be one watching the monitors, or you'd both be stuck in a holding cell by now."

"If you won't help me I understand." And bitterly he says, "After all, we're supposed to be keeping the rules right?" He looks at me with discontent, disappointment. It stings. I never want him to look at me like that. "Just thought I'd ask," he adds softly before taking a few steps toward the door.

"Alex, wait," I say, desperately grabbing hold of his arm as he tries to walk past me. I'm hurt that he had his secrets, but then there's mine. I swallow hard, having no idea how I will explain everything to him or what he will make of it, but knowing that I must I take a breath and I say, "There's something I need to tell you."

A/N: I'm pretty sure that this is not how you guys saw this playing out lol But that's the way the cookie crumbled. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter! :)