A/N: If you are reading this, then it must mean that this website has stopped being retarded.
It is finally time for me to make fun of my personal most hated Superstar: Hardcore Holly. Don't like it? I didn't ask you to read this. It is really no big secret that I hate this guy. Not only was I there for when he did his heel turn on ECW, but I was there for his return to RAW. Um...yeah...
Hardcore Holly looks like a sixty year old trailer trash version of Eminem on crack.
Why does he call himself "hardcore?" just because he tore his back on ECW does not make him qualified to be described as hardcore. That's horrendous alliteration. Holly is a girlie name. He's kind of awkward in that "boy named Sue" kind of way.
Speaking of Hardcore Holly's terrible name, I have my own little nickname for him that I like to use: Softcore Molly.
I do not care if he's one half of the World Tag Team Champions. Taking a look at his partner only makes it worse. Cody is so horrible that not even his own father would tag team it up with him. What does Holly see in that kid, anyway? Holly, clearly your old age is affecting your sight. I think I'll be the gentleman that I am and steal Rick Flair's bifocals for you to borrow. Since Rated-RKO was in attendance, we should have gone down there and stolen those titles back. It would have been like taking candy from a baby. Let me rephrase that. It would have been like taking candy from a baby and an old geezer.
I bet you that he liked slapping little Cody like that. Please. If he really wanted to piss the kid off, he would have hit him harder than that. That was a pussy slap. I guess that I will have to give Holly some sort of recognition from the night he returned to RAW. He made that crowd turn against Cody instantly. It made me laugh. Too bad they both suck, though. That crowd was stupid. I know that if I was there, they would have been cheering for me all night. Even when Cena was out there, they'd be like, "WE WANT EDGE!" Wait, maybe they aren't that smart. It was Milwaukee, after all.
I'm glad that he took that stupid little question out of his damn entrance theme. I think that DX needs to take a page out of ol' Holly's book. No, Holly, I still hate you. The real question, Hardcore Holly, is: How do you like me now that I've ridiculed your ass just like everyone else? Not so tough now, are you, Softcore?
Oh, what are you going to do? Are you going to point to that stupid scare on your back? WEAK! I've endured second degree burns from spearing Mick Foley through a burning table at Wrestlemania in a hardcore match. Don't even think about giving me that bullshit about your back in an Extreme Rules match. ECW is not extreme. There shouldn't even be an Extreme Rules match. It's exactly the same thing as a hardcore match. It is a piss poor attempt at glorifying the hardcore match, meaning that it sucks.
Are you done crying about your little staph infection yet? Okay, maybe if you had your arm amputated like you were supposed to, that might have given you the right to call yourself hardcore.
The real reason that Holly likes to call himself hardcore: He likes hardcore gay porn.
And you suck, Holly. Congratulations. You've graduated from the retard show. Nah, they just passed you because they didn't want to see your cracked out face any longer.
A/N: Making fun of Hardcore Holly makes me feel better.
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