Warnings- mentions of depression, self deprecation and past suicidal thoughts

"Brother!" Papyrus called for Sans, who was relaxing on the couch. The tall skeleton rushed into the living room holding a sketchbook and some pencils. "The human took me to this wonderful place called an 'art store'! We picked out new paints for the queen and some clay for the human, and they bought me this book of sketching!"

"That's pretty cool bro. Whacha gonna draw first?" Sans asked lazily. Papyrus bounced over to his brother and opened to the first page.

"I am going to draw you brother!" Papyrus said excitedly, throwing himself on the couch next to Sans. The older brother looked up at the younger with an uneasy smile.

"Um, alright Paps. Go for it." He went back to watching TV, glancing at Paps out of the corner of his eye.

It took him a better part of an hour, but eventually Papyrus excitedly threw his pencil at the wall, causing it to stick point first in the wallpaper. Sans stared at the wall in faint horror as Papyrus hummed in extreme excitement, waiting for his brother to look at his sketch.

It was actually really good, in Sans' opinion. It was a sketch of his watching TV, his profile and upper body. He had a faint smile on his skull and the lights in his eyes looked unfocused. It was amazing for a first time sketch. It was amazing for a skilled artist actually.

"Damn Pap, that's amazing." Sans said, standing and stretching. "Better than the real thing." He said flippantly and chuckled deeply before going into the kitchen. His brother paused before following him into the other room.

"Brother, why do you do that?" He asked quietly. Sans paused as he reached into the fridge. He glanced back at his brother, confused.

"Whacha mean Paps?" He asked lightly.

"You always put yourself down like that. It's quite concerning actually." Papyrus replied, glancing to the side.

"I dunno what you're talking about bro." He said, closing the fridge and heading past his brother.

"Sans…" Papyrus said sadly, but left it. Papyrus left the kitchen, leaving the sketchbook on the table. Sans glanced at it for half a second before teleporting away to the only place he really felt he was never judged.

"Sans, you really should watch how much you drink." Grillby said to his friend. Sans was sitting in his usual bar stool, drinking his third bottle.

"Eh, it's fine. Nothing can mess me up any more than I am when I'm sober anyway." Sans said with a sloppy grin. Grillby just looked at him with a sad expression but stayed silent. Sans glanced away, almost guiltily, before finishing his bottle and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"You worry too much Grillbz." Sans finally said, after a long silence.

"Maybe I don't worry enough…" The fire monster said, more to himself than to the skeleton, who was starting to doze off at the bar. With a light sigh, Grillby went to the phone on the wall and dialed one of the few numbers he memorized.

"Hello! Who is calling the Great Papyrus?" The chipper voice said.

"Hello Papyrus. It's me. Sans is… well, Sans is Sans on every Friday evening." Grillby said with a hushed tone, so as not to alert the skeleton in question. Papyrus sighed on the other line and spoke much more quietly.

"I will be there momentarily. Thank you for watching over my brother Grillby." The line went dead and he hung up the receiver. Turning back to Sans, Grillby saw his favorite customer resting his head in his arms, snoring lightly.

Grillby shook his head slightly and moved to clean up the bottles piling up around the small skeleton. Sans gave a little sob in his sleep, and Grillby felt his soul crack at the sound. All he wants to do is care for his friend, but Sans just keep pushing everyone away.

The front door opened, letting a cold gust of wind into the restaurant. Papyrus pushed the door open and walked in, his shoulders pulled up as if trying to make himself look smaller. He walked right up to the bar without looking at any of the other patrons.

"Brother? Come along, it is late." Papyrus shook Sans' shoulder, but the smaller just grunted and buried his face in his arms more. Papyrus sighed again and lifted him like a parent would a sleeping child. He turned to Grillby and gave him a sad smile. "Thank you Grillby. I will be back some time tomorrow to cover my brother's bill."

"Papyrus… don't worry about it this time." Grillby said, eyebrows scrunched. Papyrus was always so good about paying for Sans when he passed out like this. When he comes in for lunch, Sans pays up nine out of ten times. But when he's passed out, he can't really pay.

"… thank you again Grillby. I don't know what kind of trouble my brother would get into without you." Papyrus said sadly before walking out into the storm.

You were standing outside of Undyne's house, getting ready for an extreme game of monster hunt. You had explained the games man hunt and cops-and-robbers, and Undyne was more than willing to adapt it for your friends. By adapt, you meant she morphed the two together and changed the name. Now, practically everyone was gathered in front of the fish shaped house – recently renovated and repainted.

"Alright punks! This is a human game, reinvented and reworked by yours truly to be the most epic, most intense game in the whole Underground. Now, the kid and I are going to be the team captains, so you better listen up cuz I ain't repeating my choices. Now, because the human came up with the original, lame version of the game, they can pick first." Undyne addressed the small crowd. She gestured at you to step forward.

You scan the crowed, thinking about who would be the best to be on your team. Papyrus is energetic – good for chasing – but very noticeable. Doggo was good at finding people – but probably wouldn't be the best at hiding himself. You saw someone at the edge of the crowed.

Sans would be perfect. Quiet, small, can appear behind someone before they run away. Perfect. You smile and point.

"I want Sans on my team." You said, still smiling. Sans seemed beyond shocked that you picked him, which made you realize maybe – just maybe – something could be wrong. He tried to duck out of the crowed, but he was pushed to the front.

"Hey kid. I, um, don't know why you'd want a bag of bones like me." He rubbed the back of his head. "I'll just weigh ya down."

"Because you're my friend and I know you'll be good at it?" You replied, a little sarcastically.

"Ehhh…" He said, wiggling his hand side to side but went to stand behind you. You shot him a strange look but didn't say anything.

Undyne went and picked the first person on her team – Alphys, no surprise there. The game went as you expected. It was fun, but a total mess. Most of the players didn't quite understand the rules, so there was a lot of down time where you had to explain and clear up the confusion.

In the end, you gave up before either team reached five wins. You and Undyne shook hands in front of the teams and you went your separate ways. As everyone left, you caught up to Sans.

"Hey there bone boy." You said, snagging his jacket sleeve.

"Sup kid? Have fun?" He asked, grinning lazily.

"Yeah, actually. I thought it was going to be a lot harder with everyone playing." You said with a smile and laugh. Sans chuckled back and kept walking.

"You know those guys. You tell them they can't do something, so they try even harder to do it." He said, shoving his hands in his pockets as he approached Snowdin.

"Sans…" You started, unsure what to say. "Are you okay?"

Sans stopped walking abruptly, and you bumped into his back at the sudden stop. He turned and looked at you warily but didn't drop his grin.

"Of course I'm okay kid. Why wouldn't I be?" He asked, his grin tightening. You frowned and looked at him with concern.

"Sans-"

"Look, I really am okay kid. You gotta trust me." Sans said, cutting you off. You just frown more, but let the topic drop.

"Sans…" You said, waking the skeleton up. He was napping in his room, but you could see the faint damp splotches on his pillow. You felt the slight guilt in your chest ease at the sight. This was for his own good, you told yourself.

"What's up kiddo?" Sans asked sleepily, rubbing an eye socket with the back of his hand.

"I need you to come downstairs. There's something I want you to see." You said, your tone somber and serious. He furrowed his eyebrow bones at your voice and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

"A-alright kid… No need to sound like someone just got killed." He stood and stretched, his back cracking several times. You nodded once and led him downstairs. You could see his confusion and apprehension grow as he saw what was waiting down the stairs, or rather who was waiting for him in the living room.

Most of your group was there, along with some other monsters. Undyne and Alphys, Toriel and Asgore, Papyrus, Mettaton, Grillby and a few of the bar patrons. His confusion was only out spoken by the concern radiating off of every monster crowded in the small house.

"H-hey guys? What, um, are you all doing here?" Sans asked, starting to sweat a little. No one knew what to say, so they all glanced at each other until someone spoke up.

"We- we are worried for you, dear." Toriel was the first to speak. Sans chuckled awkwardly and moved to the kitchen, which was hard seeing how you could barely more a foot before bumping into someone.

"Why would you be worried about a pathetic sack of bones like me?" Sans said it as a joke, but the tension in the air somehow grew even thicker.

"Brother, we are concerned about some of the things you say… like what you just said…" Papyrus said. It was obvious it hurt him to talk about his brother like this.

"I don't say anything bad bro. You're getting worked up over nothin'…" Sans said, clearly getting nervous.

"We're all worried about you Sansy. You haven't been yourself in a long time." You said, trying to get through to him. He inhaled sharply and turned to you.

"You don't know me! You don't know whether or not I have or haven't been acting like myself!" He snapped before he could stop and realize what he was doing. His skull whitened as he took in your shocked and slightly betrayed face. He took a step back, bumping right into Papyrus' chest. Sans spun around, looking more and more like a scared animal trapped in a cage. "I-I-I didn't mean to snap at the kid! I swear…"

"Sans, we believe you." You said, laying a calm hand on his arm. He turned to you and his shaking calmed a little. "Please, just talk to us. We're here for you."

"There's nothing to talk about…" He said gruffly, visibly closing in on himself.

"How about you talk about why you always diss yourself?" Undyne suggested, her tone strangely calm.

"I don't 'diss' myself. I just… tell the truth?" His voice went up at the end, as if he was unsure of what his was saying.

"You r-really think t-those things about y-y-yourself?" Alphys asked, shocked.

"Yeah?" Sans replied, sounding even more unsure of himself. He was glancing around nervously, the lights in his eye sockets darting around the room without actually looking anyone in the eye. Everyone shifted a little.

"Sans, do you realize how much you mean to us?" Asgore asked, his deep voice rumbling through the room.

"I mean… I guess I'm there, right?" Sans said, his words sounding forced.

"You're more than just there. You've been there for everyone, whenever they needed you." You said, putting as much love and support as possible behind the words.

"You were my first customer." Grillby said, his crackling flames keeping the room slightly above a comfortable temperature. "And you've been my best friend for longer than either of us would like to admit. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have my restaurant in the first place. "

"Oh Grillbz… I didn't do anything special. I just gave you some encouragement. That's nothing to gush about…" Sans said, almost as if he was pouting. The idea of Sans pouting made you smile a little before urging the next person to speak.

"Back before my child convinced me to open the Ruin doors, I was so very lonely." Toriel started. Asgore made a sound of distress, but she pointedly ignored him. "When you started talking to me, I was absolutely thrilled. Not only were your puns funny, but you made me feel that… maybe there was something about this old lady that was still likable."

"Tori… you shouldn't say those things about yourself. Everyone knows how amazing you are. Your pies and your jokes and everything you do for the kid." Sans was quick to jump to her defense, but when he saw the raised eyebrow pointed in his direction, he looked down at his slippers, blushing a little.

"Brother, you have always been here for me. Me and everyone here. You raised me into the amazing skeleton I am today! Remember the day I came home after being picked on?" Papyrus asked. Sans nodded mutely. "I felt so poorly, I wasn't sure what to do. You gave me advice and guidance. You gave me a purpose and a reason to reach m goal. And for that, I thank you dear brother. All I can ask of you now is to listen to our words."

"Y-yeah Sans. A-after you s-s-stopped working in the l-labs, I got r-real scared cuz… ya know." Alphys trailed off, but Sans nodded as if he knew what she was going to say. You kind of wished she would elaborated, because you knew you weren't the only one left in the dark about this. Undyne placed a hand on her girlfriend's shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze. "W-w-without you a-and, um, your c-calls… I dunno if I w-would still b-b-be here… anymore."

You sucked in a breath, realizing what she meant. You knew Sans was important to you at least, and you knew he was important to many. You never knew he saved Alphys' life. Who else did he save, you wondered.

"You see Sans?" You said, prompting the skeleton to look at you. "Everyone cares about you, which is why we're so worried about you. The things you've been saying, those aren't the kinds of things someone who's happy with themselves would say. We just want to help you, but you have to let us in first."

"I… I want to let you guys help…" Sans started slowly, as if trying to translate something from a forgotten language. "But, I don't know what you can do."

"You can talk to us." Toriel said warmly.

"About what?" He asked, warily.

"About what you're feeling. About why you make comments like that." Papyrus said, hopping in right where Toriel left off.

"Hehe guys… I think you're making this out to be more of a problem that it really is." Sans said, trying to deflect the attention from him as a last ditch effort.

"I don't think so Sansy." Undyne said loudly, her usual gusto back.

"Seriously guys…" It sounded like Sans was losing the battle with himself.

"Seriously Sans." You said. He just sighed and sat on the couch.

"Fine, but I don't know if I can spill to everyone in the Underground." He gave the collective crowed a pointed look. The monsters started shuffling in understanding and one by one they started leaving. Only a few were left, including yourself, Papyrus, Grillby and Alphys. Undyne went with the King and Queen back to the castle, ever the attentive body guard.

"Alright Sans. Now, can you tell us what's wrong?" You asked, sitting next to him on the couch.

"It's a long story, and a lot of it doesn't make sense to me, so it definitely wouldn't make sense to you guys." He started hesitantly. "I don't remember when it all started. To save you the confusion, I'll just say something happened that I couldn't stop. And it happened over, and over and over and over again. I was powerless to stop it. Still am, if I'm being honest. Eventually, I just gave up trying to stop it… the guilt ate away at me.

"I always thought, maybe if I had tried, just maybe I could have changed it that time, but since I didn't do anything it was my fault. These thoughts would get more and more extreme until I just accepted those too. There was no point in fighting anything anymore… not the events, not the thoughts. I just… couldn't seem to care anymore." Sans trailed off, staring at his hands.

You knew what he was talking about, and it send an arrow through your heart. He blamed himself for the resets, for everything that happened in past timelines. A small part of you knew it wasn't your fault either. You had found out about Flowey- or rather Asriel – and his power to reset before you fell and took it. You knew it was those resets that haunted him, not your own, but you still felt guilty. It was your power that was causing your friend so much pain.

"Are you referring to the time jumps Brother?" Papyrus asked innocently. Sans' head shot up so fast you thought his skull would detach from his spine.

"Y-you… Pap what-"

"Did you believe you were the only one to notice the jumps? I've always been able to tell when you were trying to prank me through space-time, so I just assumed you were the one at fault for the jumps… had I known they were causing you so much distress…" He trailed off, uncertain he said the right thing. Sans looked horrified, probably at the thought that Papyrus remembered anything that Flowey did to him.

"Oh my god… Paps, do you remember anything… odd?" Sans asked, sounding scared.

"Nothing!" Papyrus said cheerfully. "Just that time was wibbly wobbly!" Sans practically deflated in relief, but there was still tension in his shoulders.

"Sans, you know that's not going to happen again, right?" You asked, quietly, afraid of saying the wrong thing.

"I… I can't let my guard down kid." Was all Sans said.

"Seriously. It's not going to happen again." You repeated, with more strength. Sans glanced at you, a knowing look in his eyes.

"Alright kid…" He was reluctant but gave in anyway.

"I know it's hard, letting others in." Papyrus said. "But we care about you, and care about your wellbeing. You have to let us care for you."

"Alright bro. Just… just give me some time." Sans said, almost as if he was defeated. You felt a little guilty, pushing him to open up like that, but you knew it was for the best.

"We love you Sansy." You said softly. He chuckled deeply and wrapped a lazy arm around your shoulders.

"Love ya too kiddo."

Alright, another change in the normal format. This was based off a tumblr text post. I tried looking for it so I could reference and credit it and such, but I was three hours into my blog and nowhere near where it would have been so…

Thank you everyone for the overwhelming feedback from everything. Between the support to the reader from the other day, and support when I rant, you guys really are the reason I can keep doing this. It's really hard sometimes, but knowing you guys care about me and my writing, knowing you'll have my back and pick me up when I'm feeling down… it really gives me a boost. It really means a lot to me, something y'all are probably tired of hearing.

I always have so much to say, but when it comes to actually writing it, I can't think of anything to say! I just… you guys blow me away…

Also! I got a huuuuge list of the different AUs for this fandom, but I don't have any ideas for them! I have an Underswap-depression chapter planned, but past that I don't really know any of these AUs well enough to come up with something on my own! If anyone has any specific ideas for their favorite timeline, let me know.

Until next time!

~Starlight