Chapter 35: Interlude IV

"Oh my God," Katie moaned, dramatically prolonging the vowel. "That bacon smells so freaking amazing! Why the Hell did I choose this week of all weeks to cleanse?" she demanded, more to herself than to the seven young women and three young men with her.

Elizabeth hid an amused grin behind her hand as the group of friends stopped meandering down the aisle of the Farmer's Market to salivate wistfully over all the bacon-wrapped goodies creatively displayed before them.

"Lord, look at all that bacon!" someone exclaimed softly.

They all watched avidly as the cook behind the tables flipped twelve fresh slabs of the salty pork onto the massive grill. They spat and hissed, bubbling contentedly over the flames.

The aroma was intoxicating.

Katie whimpered.

"This always happens to you, Katie!" Liz chuckled teasingly, nudging her friend. "I don't know what possesses you to come down here when you're cleansing. There's too much temptation!"

"I think she likes torturing herself," Jason grinned.

"Masochist," Katie's boyfriend, Mark, agreed with a fond smile down at her.

"Maybe she likes proving that her will-power is stronger than her cravings," Liz laughingly offered in Katie's defense.

Jason eyed Liz over Katie's head and smiled.

"Liz, you're sweet but you give me too much credit!" Katie sighed. "I honestly just forgot the Farmer's Market was this weekend."

That made everyone else chortle.

Unable to resist the temptation any longer, quite a few of their group jumped in line to buy something-Mark being one of them. He grabbed Katie's arm and tugged. "C'mon, babe. Just stand in line with me and help me decide what to get. I'll even let you have a bite!"

"I'm cleansing," Liz heard her protest, although not very strongly, as she allowed herself to be pulled into the mass of hungry, waiting people.

Snorting softly to herself, Liz shook her head in fondness over her friend. Katie most likely would have a bite, and probably more than one-not that Liz could blame her! She almost was enticed to get something herself but she was trying to hold off until lunch.

The breeze picked up, sweeping fresh air from across the ocean into the crowded stalls. Following the wind's direction, Liz walked lightly over to the pier's railing to look out over the silver water while she waited for her group. The sky, hazily gray, was just a bit threatening today and she was glad the rain was holding off.

This would probably be one of the last dry weekends in Seattle for a while. It was late August and summer was drawing to a close. All too soon it would officially be fall. Her junior year of college would start up and the really rainy days would be upon them, driving most everyone indoors.

Liz rested her arms on the rail as she watched the gulls drift lazily on the winds. It was good for everyone to enjoy the dry weather while they could!

"Hey, Liz."

Startled out of her thoughts, she glanced to her right. Jason had come over to stand beside her, holding four bacon strips, two in each hand. Each little bundle was wrapped in crinkly white parchment paper.

"I know how much you love bacon." He offered one to her. "Here."

If there had been any way to politely refuse him, she would have. She didn't want to encourage his attentions, no matter how innocent they seemed. But since she couldn't think of a graceful way to decline for the life of her, she accepted with a small smile. "Thanks, Jason."

He smiled back down at her and she quickly looked away out to the ocean again. Not that she was worried he would try to touch her or anything like that if she held his eyes too long. It was just... Well, it was still a little awkward to be hanging around him today even though they were both part of a bigger group.

It had been two weeks and a day since the night when Jason had taken her on their first and last date, when Red had broken into her apartment to lie in wait for her, when she had kicked the younger man out so she could be alone with Red and have it out with him...when she had told him she loved him.

When he'd said the same to her.

Unable to resist the lure of the mouthwatering treat she now held in her hand, she bit into one of the pieces and began to chew.

It was good. It was tasty. And maybe she was rather biased, but it just wasn't as delicious as Red's home-cooked bacon was.

A smile curved her lips as it always did when the memories of that night and the morning after flashed through her mind.

Liz had always known Red had loved her but to hear him actually say it...well, the words had drawn everything out into the open. There wasn't a vague ambiguity about what kind of love existed between them anymore, despite the fact that it couldn't quite be put into a verbal structure. It was an intricate knot that fluidly twisted and writhed profoundly within and without, disdaining trite definitions.

Their awareness of one another was subtly changed now. There was a shining, sensitive openness thrilling between them that hadn't been there before. Of course, that shared vulnerability lay rippling like molten gold just beneath the inner barriers of their minds and hearts.

If a stranger had been watching them that morning after, he or she wouldn't have been able to perceive or understand the paramount metamorphosis that had taken place within both Liz and Red that night, but she was intimately aware of it and recognized it in him as well-in the slightly different cadence of his voice when he'd spoken to her, in the underlying softness in his expression when he'd looked at her...

Elizabeth had woken to the sweet and savory aroma of bacon wafting just underneath her nose. Her nostrils had flared, mouth instantly watering. Her eyes had blearily flickered open to see Red sitting beside her on the bed, dressed in nothing but a button down shirt and his black boxer briefs, patiently holding out a piece to her.

"You slept soundly through the alarm I'd set on my watch. When I tried to get you up, you mumbled something unintelligible and batted at me like a kitten bats at a ball of yarn," Red had informed her with a teasing smile. "Then I figured the only thing that would wake you on an early Saturday morning was the smell of a hot breakfast. Looks like I was right! Nothing's really changed all that much since you were a young girl," he'd chuckled, tapping the glistening end of the bacon strip against her lips.

Her eyes had narrowed slightly. Well! If he was going to tease her, she'd tease him right back!

Wrinkling her nose at him, Liz had taken a third of the delectable treat in her mouth and had gently bitten down, gaze holding his flirtatiously as she had done so. Very aware that his eyes had been raptly fixed on her, she'd purposefully rubbed her lips, shiny and slick with grease, together.

One of his eyebrows had arched in delighted surprise at her rather provocative display.

She had smiled coyly up at him after swallowing the rich morsel, the tip of her pink tongue darting out to lick her upper lip.

"What time is it?"

"Seven-thirty," he had drawled, watching her.

She'd closed her eyes, dramatically screwing her expression up into one of exasperated dismay. "Don't you ever like to sleep in, Red?"

"You know I don't sleep very much. Besides," he'd deflected jovially, "I tend to be ravenous when I stir in the morning."

His eyes had glinted jauntily and she'd known she could take that statement any way she wanted.

"And Christ knows I can't depend on you to make a breakfast that isn't burned!"

His blithe laugh had boomed at her indignant snarl.

"Unless you can actually cook bacon without turning it into blackened bits?"

She had hissed at him.

"I take that as a no?"

"You know you make better bacon than I do," she had grudgingly hedged, eyeing the half-eaten piece he still had held near her face. "And you probably always will!"

Unable to abstain any longer, she had propped herself up on her elbows to take another delicate bite.

"Hungry, Lizzy?" he'd purred, shifting closer while she had chewed, the tender fat melting on her tongue as she had swallowed.

"For bacon?" she'd asked, wide eyes feigning innocence as she had purposefully misunderstood his suggestive implication. "Always." Her smile had been impish as she had primly taken the last crunchy bit from his fingers with her teeth.

Red had licked the tips of his thumb and index finger free of salty grease, gazing intently at her as she had finished.

Then he had leaned in to kiss her.

His kiss had been seductive. Tantalizingly slow and deep. It had made her breath catch and her arms go rubbery. Her fingers had tightened in the sheets, body stirring.

"Mmm," he'd hummed against her mouth, cupping her cheek in his palm while his other hand had fallen beside her to steady himself as she had slowly sunk back into the pillows.

After a long and languid moment, he had finally pulled back enough to look down at her. "Well." His affectionate eyes had glinted knowingly as she'd gazed up at him, unable-and unwilling-to hide her own desire that had mirrored his.

And very soon after they had unhurriedly satisfied one kind of hunger, they'd devoured the rest of the bacon and scrambled eggs Red had whipped up.

"Liz?" Jason asked.

Shit. She had completely forgotten that she wasn't alone! He must have asked her something.

Flushing, she turned to look at him. "Sorry." She forced a smile, embarrassed. "My mind was elsewhere. What's up?"

That feeling of awkwardness was back, infiltrating her thoughts and making her uncomfortable. She took another bite of the bacon to try and feign nonchalance.

No doubt thanks to Katie, word had spread throughout her various circles that Liz was most definitely in a steady relationship now with Red, though apparently the people in her groups didn't refer to him by that name. They still called him her "daddy"-short for "sugar daddy"-or they called him "that older man" when she was out of earshot. According to the gossip mill, most of the girls did it partly out of envy and partly out of respect. The guys...well, the guys tried to twist both those titles into an insult out of jealousy.

Jason rubbed the back of his neck, watching the water lap beneath them. "I hear you're going steady now with that man I...met...the other night."

She warily tensed, waiting.

"No need to get prickly on me, Liz." Sensitive to her change in mood, he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "I'm just wondering...why?"

"Why what?" She was proud of herself for keeping her tone quiet and controlled.

"Why are you going steady with him?"

"Because..." She frowned, knowing all of this was extremely personal and that he absolutely had no business prying into her private life-but she felt compelled to answer. And perhaps if what she told him made it throughout her circles, everyone she knew wouldn't think so low of her. Or Red. "I love him." Then, with a stinging touch of asperity, she added, "You know, it's what people do when they have feelings for each other."

He cleared his throat, and she couldn't tell if he was discomfited or jealous. Perhaps he was both. "Maybe this isn't my place to say but..." He dared to look closely at her. "Isn't he a bit old for you?"

"You're right," Liz replied, unable to keep the warning growl from her tone, "it isn't your place to say." And she knew she should have left it there. In hindsight, maybe she should've walked away. But again, she felt like she had to defend herself-and defend Red. "An age gap doesn't matter when you feel deeply..." She hesitated, then changed her wording. "When you love someone."

"That's a sweet thing to think, Liz." He met her gaze unflinchingly. "I guess I shouldn't have expected anything less from you. You're a sweet girl."

She didn't know what to say to that. Was he being sincere? Or did he think she was naive? Was he being condescending? Was he being condescendingly sincere? She ground her teeth and decided not to reply.

"But, realistically, it's not..." He paused, then perhaps against his better judgement, he plowed on, "Liz, what if you're being used?"

She stared at him, admittedly rather taken aback that he was indicting Red for committing something she had also accused him of doing.

Then she scowled. Not that she particularly liked to remember she had done that to Red. She'd had her reasons, but it was rather difficult on her to recall the fury she had felt and the look of outraged hurt in Red's green eyes.

And Jason had no solid basis for his slur against Red's character!

"A man like that..." Jason continued into the heavy silence, unaware of her ricocheting thoughts, "he doesn't just settle down with a twenty-one year old girl who's not even out of college yet."

"How the Hell would you know?" she snarled, now visibly upset.

As much as she didn't want to admit it to herself, she still felt self-conscious about how young she was compared to Red-especially when she found herself unwillingly speculating on his past love life. Not his married life. That was something Liz considered to be off limits, a topic that was never to be discussed nor deliberated on. Red had made it perfectly clear he never wanted to speak of his long-deceased wife, or daughter. And to ruminate over them? It somehow seemed wrong-disrespectful-to do that to the dead. Red had been a different man when he'd been married, living a completely different life-a life Liz hadn't really existed in.

So she couldn't be jealous of that.

But the other women who had paraded through his bed afterward, including the gorgeous Madeline... That was different. Liz sometimes did speculate on how and where she ranked with all those mature and beautiful women he'd been with throughout the years. And, well, she couldn't help but feel a little insecure-even despite everything that she and Red had established between one another. She wished she didn't feel that way, but she was only human, after all.

And human emotions were rarely clear and straightforward.

Liz glared at the young man, furious that he had touched on a sensitive nerve. "I know Red. You don't know him at all, Jason."

"Yeah, well, I know men." He shrugged. "Believe it or not, I'm not trying to cause trouble here, Liz. Or upset you. But I guess I kind of failed at that."

Liz's answering snort was caustic.

"I'm just..." He sighed before once again meeting her fiery expression. "I like you a lot and I'm trying to look out for you." These words came out in a bit of a rush. "That's all."

The presumptuous nerve of this guy she'd only known for a month was astounding! He most likely was only pursuing her this way because his masculine pride was still smarting. Being handsome and already successful in his mid-twenties, he probably wasn't used to being denied by women he was attracted to.

"I don't need you 'looking out' for me," she bit out, blue eyes flashing angrily. "I have someone who already does that, Jason. And no matter what you seem to think about him, I know that he does feel the same way about me as I feel about him."

"For your sake, I hope you're right." Was that freaking pity in his eyes?

Seething, Liz stepped away from the railing-and him. "I'm going to go see what's taking Katie and Mark so damn long," she told him, tight voice clipped. Without waiting for a response, she whirled around and stalked away.

"I was so furious with him, Red! I couldn't believe he had the gall to try and make me doubt you!"

Liz was resting in bed against the headboard, knees drawn up tightly to her chest, phone jammed to her ear as she stared, unseeing, out her window into the night.

"I avoided him as best as I could for the rest of the afternoon. I should've just left!"

"No, honey. You did the right thing," Red told her, voice a gravelly murmur in her ear. "If you had left, he would've known he had really gotten to you. You wouldn't have wanted to show weakness that way."

She sucked in an outraged breath.

"Not that I'm implying you're weak, Lizzy, so don't start snarling at me." His firm tone was half-amused, half-serious. "But his jabs at my character had rattled you, correct?"

"Yeah," she scowled.

"It's okay to admit it to yourself. And to me. But to show that Jason's hardly-veiled criticism of me-and, to an extent, you-bothered you so much to where you would have fled... Well, that would have been a mistake."

Liz took her bottom lip between her teeth and chewed on it lightly as she thought over his words.

"Once someone like that, someone with a wounded ego and a chip on his shoulder, knows he can rattle you so easily, he, and others like him, won't stop trying to get your goat."

"Sounds like you speak from experience, Red."

"Oh, I've had my share of experiences where I've had to deal with...difficult individuals." Liz could just see him baring his teeth in a vicious smile. "That's why I'm advising you even though you didn't ask me to. I want you to toughen your skin against this kind of censure. You need to."

"Because this'll come up again? You and me being together, I mean?"

"Won't it? You know your friends better than I."

"Yeah," she grumbled. "It probably will. Me being exclusively involved with a man two decades my senior is apparently all the rage along the gossip grapevine right now."

"Two decades and five years," came his saucy interjection.

"Red!"

"Come now, Lizzy," he chuckled. "Don't take all of this too seriously. It's really not so bad. This Jason character is just a spoiled boy who didn't get his way so now he's throwing a sort of temper tantrum."

"It still hurts."

"That's because you care about what these people think of you," he replied gently.

Liz lifted her chin defiantly-but he was right. She did care. How could she not? She did hang out with these people on a regular basis. She was strong, but she wasn't immune to what was said about her and the emotions those words conjured up. On the contrary...

"You feel things deeply," he murmured, echoing her train of thought. "You always have. Now you need to work on trying to temper yourself, honey. These gossipmongers you'll encounter will actually aid you in honing that effort."

Liz closed her eyes. "Their insinuation that I'm...that we're doing something wrong won't last forever, will it?"

"Not forever, sweetheart. Our kind of relationship is...unusual, especially when it involves a woman your age. But it's not unheard of. As the weeks go by everyone should lighten up."

"Because it'll be old news."

"Mmm. More likely because of that than because they've gained maturity," he agreed dryly.

That elicited an appreciative snort and grin from her.

"Ah. There's that light-hearted spirit," Red smiled. "Feeling better?"

"Talking to you always makes me feel better."

"I can make you feel even more so..." he hinted suggestively.

A surprised laugh burst from her. "No!" she blushed fiercely. "No, Red." She waved a flustered hand. "That-what we did-it was only for the one time. Just the one time."

"Are you sure?" he crooned, voice lowering an octave.

God, her face felt like it was on fire. "I'd rather you were here." Pleased and embarrassed all at once, she raked her nails through her hair. "When are you coming back to Seattle?"

He chuckled warmly at her smooth and quick deflection. The throaty sound of it made her toes curl. "I'm hoping before Labor Day...before you start your classes. When do you sign up?"

"Next week on Monday."

"Any idea what you want to major in?"

"I'm still torn between Psychology and Law. I've done really well in both subjects. Maybe more so in Psychology than in Law though."

"I'm not too surprised about that."

A brow rose. "Oh?"

"Mmm."

"Why?"

"Well, because of what we touched on earlier." Liz heard him shift his phone to his other ear. "Your ability to feel so keenly...in a way, it's a gift, honey. Because you're able to feel so much, you're able to intuit why others behave the way they do. Not many possess such empathy. If you learn to temper it-not suppress it, mind you-it could become a real asset if you decide to become a psychologist."

"Or psychiatrist?"

"You'd have to study medicine as well."

"Oh. Right."

"Is it something you want to do?"

"I honestly don't know what I want to do, Red. Sometimes..." her voice trailed off.

"Sometimes...?" he prompted gently.

"Sometimes I don't feel any older than eighteen," she admitted softly. "Like, there are times when I feel like I don't have a direction. That I'm just...floating through college."

"You're hardly 'floating,' Lizzy. You do have direction," he stressed reassuringly. "You just told me the two directions you're most interested in."

"But I don't know which one I really want!" she sighed, frustrated.

"It'll come to you, honey. By the time you need to declare your major, it'll come to you. Just be patient with yourself."

She pursed her lips, knowing he was right about her needing to be patient. One of her faults was being much too hard on herself when she didn't think she was meeting her own high standards.

"And remember, if you do choose a major and you realize later in your heart that it's the wrong path, you can always choose another to walk down. Nothing is written in stone, and certainly not your future."

"I wish I had that," she murmured longingly.

"Had what, baby?"

"Self-assurance."

"You do have that."

"Not like you. You have it in spades, Red."

"Don't forget that I have a few years on you," he smiled. "Some of what you're hearing from me comes with the wisdom that age brings. But you are stronger than I think even you realize, Lizzy."

She bit her lower lip thoughtfully.

"Remember, be patient with yourself. Keep studying hard. Listen to your intuition. Everything else will follow."

"Should this be my new affirmation?"

"If it'll help you."

Her blue eyes glittered with a smile. "Red?"

"Mmm?"

"Thank you."

She could almost see him smile at her. And it made her heart achingly twist in her chest.

"Always, sweetheart."

God, she missed him.

"Where are you right now?" She'd forgotten to ask him earlier-she'd been too distraught over the events of the afternoon to remember to do so.

"I'm in England. Well, London, to be precise."

"London!" she exclaimed, glancing at the clock on her nightstand. "Isn't it, like, two or three in the morning over there?"

"Four, actually."

"Red," she moaned, shaking her head. "Why didn't you tell me? I didn't mean to wake you up!"

"I wasn't really sleeping, Lizzy."

Which meant he had been. "If you had said, 'I wasn't sleeping' then maybe I would've believed you," she admonished in a soft growl. "I really should let you go. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry," he replied breezily. "I needed to get up early anyway, so everyone wins today, darling."

Liz had a feeling he was saying that just to be sweet to her, but she didn't push it. "In any case, I should let you go so maybe you can squeeze in another hour or two of sleep-or rest-before you actually have to physically get up and out of bed." Before he could protest, she added, "And I need to take Bronn on his walkie anyway."

"His walkie?" Red's tone was amused.

She blushed. "Yeah. Um, it's a new term for our nighttime strolls. They're different from our morning walk-and-jogs, so I wanted to give them a different name."

"It's quite charming, Lizzy."

She rubbed the side of her warm neck self-consciously. "Red?"

"Mmm?"

She hesitated for a brief moment, prolonging his presence for a few seconds longer before she told him, "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, honey. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Once she reluctantly hung up, Elizabeth smiled tenderly down at the face of her phone. She was fairly certain that when they had intoned their traditional sign off of "I'll miss you," what they had both really meant was, "I love you."