Kurt's POV

This is not happening. This is not happening…

Looking back, the only think I could really feel in that moment was stinging. I held it together for as long as I could. I said goodbye to her before fleeing the auditorium. And then all of a sudden it was everywhere: the stinging behind my eyes where the tears were yearning to escape, the stinging deep inside my head; the beginnings of some sort of stress migraine that I'd experienced once weeks after my mother's death, the stinging over every inch of my skin that came from the shock. In the midst of this it occurred to me that this was the first time I'd ever been dumped. I wondered if it felt like this all the time, for everyone. If it did, then half the school would be dead by now. I wished I were dead.

I was more thankful than I'd ever been for the washroom beside my locker. My only hope was that Quinn didn't choose the same washroom as her recovery space. Oh, who was I kidding? She hadn't been upset at all. She'd been standing there acting like she wanted to dump me.

I was so angry that I could hear the blood rushing through my head, and my brain was on endless repeat of 'What did I do wrong? What's wrong with me?'

In the washroom, I positioned myself over one of the sinks, forcing raspy breaths in and out of my lungs. Behind me, I heard one of the stall doors crash open. Peering the in the mirror, I saw Brittany approaching the sink next to mine. Embarrassed, I straightened my spine and turned the faucet, pretending to wash my hands.

"Hi Kurt!" she bounced up chipperly. With her hair down she looked… just like Quinn. My breathing grew shallow. I didn't want to inhale too deeply… I didn't want to release the tears, especially in front of Brit.

"Brittany," I croaked with a tiny nod. We finished washing our hands side by side.

Brittany hoisted herself up so that she was sitting on the edge of the porcelain sink.

"Are you okay, Kurt? 'Cause you looked like someone just squished your puppy and ate it for dinner. They do that in China, y'know," Brittany said somberly.

The sound the came out of my mouth in reaction to that was a sad half laugh half sob. "I'll be fine, Brittany."

She studied me closely in that vacant way of hers. "No, you won't," she decreed. "What's wrong, Kurt? You can tell me."

Gaining control quickly, I copied her, taking a seat on the edge of the sink.

"Brit, can you keep a secret?"

"Like… not tell anyone? Not even Santana?"

I face-palmed, imagining what a lovely situation that would turn out to be. "God, no… especially not Santana."

She pondered this for a minute before answering. "Yeah, I can keep a secret."

I knew it shouldn't have mattered, after Quinn dumped me like I was yesterday's trash. Like she'd never really cared in the first place. But for some reason I had to tell somebody who I knew wouldn't judge me for it.

"I… I fell in love with Quinn," I had to make an attempted to put this into Brittany-friendly terminology. "And we… well, we started dating."

"But I thought you were dating Finn…"

"I was. I am. I mean… I was kind of dating both of them at once, which was bad," I swiped at a stray tear that had collected at the edge of my eye.

"Oh. Santana used to date two people at once. And one time she was dating seven people at once. But that's not the same is it?"

"Um… no. Anyway, I figured that I had to choose between the two if I wanted to be happy. I didn't know which one to choose."

Brittany tilted her head thoughtfully. "But Quinn's not a boy… I think. And you're gay."

"No, Brittany, Quinn isn't a boy. But then I started thinking… if Finn went gay for me, it can happen… I could be bi, like you are, for Quinn."

"Oh…" Brit slowly comprehended. "I get it. But that doesn't explain why you're so sad."

"Quinn dumped me."

"Oh… that's sad," Brittany pouted. "But wouldn't that make it easier? Now you don't have to choose!" she clapped.

I deflated. "I don't know. I… this should feel good, I guess. I don't have to choose. But I also now don't have a choice."

I could tell I was losing her. "I felt something with Quinn that I'd never really felt with anyone before. Not even Finn."

Brittany stood up graciously and opened her arms with compassion like any good friend would do. Through my clouded eyes, I didn't see Brit, but Quinn instead.

"D'ya needa hug?" she asked.

I stood up and she wrapped her arms around my torso.

"Thanks, Brittany."

We parted and she looked up at me in that sweet, empty-headed Brittany fashion.

"Y'know, we could make out, if you wanted to. If it would make you fell any bet…"

Before I could comprehend what I was doing, my lips were planted on hers. She let out a little squeak of surprise. Her lips tasted like bubblegum… nothing like Quinn's. As I kissed Brittany, I felt… well, I felt nothing. There wasn't any love, or any emotion but my pain. It was nothing like kissing Quinn.

I withdrew from the kiss as fast as I had jumped into it. I started a backwards retreat out of the washroom.

"Uh… thanks, Brittany. I have to go, I'm sorry…"

"Okay. Bye, Kurt. Feel better!"

There was no one in the hall, which I was immensely thankful for. I was a complete mess. I wanted nothing more than to hold it all inside until I got to my nice warm bed where I could cry all I wanted. I didn't think I could sink any lower than I already had… fighting with Finn, Quinn's suddenly ending our… our thing. Kissing random girls in school washrooms because the pressure in my chest was building too much for me to bear any longer. This wasn't the way I'd imagined my last year of high school.

For the first time in months, I wished none of this had happened. I wished I hadn't gotten myself into this situation in the first place.