I fear that this chapter jars a bit. I know it can be improved but for those of you who are still following this story, I thought I should just post. Like Dixie, I am getting bored with my story (but not GWTW) and worried that if I don't move it along, I will never finish it.

Thanks Wiolka for your prompts and your review (I did google translate). Thanks to Ondine, Alison, LMS, Dixie for their encouragement and to everyone else who reads and reviews. Believe me, if no one read it, I would have given up a long time ago because I know how this story finishes but writing it has its challenges!

Chapter 34

Rhett was as good as his word. By the time Scarlett awoke, her trunks were in her bedroom, her clothes all hung up in the large walk-in closet and her hat boxes were laid out on a shelf. It was as if an elf had worked his magic whilst she had slept, although Scarlett knew that only Mammy would have dared enter her bedroom chamber uninvited.

Scarlett stretched out in the huge, luxurious bed, having enjoyed her first decent night's sleep in weeks. Cumulative exhaustion – from weeks of planning and worry about her trip to Charleston and from being woken up by Mrs Merriwether before the birds had even finished their morning chorus - had finally caught up with her. Her body had hardly moved an inch during the night, leaving half the bed as pristine and uncrumpled as when she had first climbed into it.

There was a gentle tap on the door and Mammy entered, carrying a tray of piping hot coffee and freshly made eggs, next to a small vase of roses.

"'Mornin' Miss Scarlett," Mammy greeted as she shuffled in, her grey taffeta petticoat peeping out underneath her ebony dress.

"I wish it wasn't morning," Scarlett grumbled. Then she yawned and closed her eyes to the intruding sunlight that was peeping through the cracks in the portieres. "I feel as though I could sleep for a few more hours."

"Den yud be late for Miss Carreen. Ah get yo bath ready, Miss Scarlett, while you eat."

"I'm not hungry, Mammy."

"You must eat, Miss Scarlett. You need strength fer today."

"But I'm not-"

"Miss Scarlett! Please." Mammy settled the tray down on the coverlet, took the starched napkin out of its ring and handed it to her mistress. Scarlett begrudgingly took it and sat up in bed. "Miss Scarlett, Ahs not leavin' until ah see you put sum fud in yo mouth." Scarlett sighed and scooped up some egg.

"You see? I'm eating," said Scarlett in a surly tone. Then she looked up at Mammy's disapproving face and into her large, black eyes that seemed ready to burst into tears and immediately felt guilty for being difficult. Carreen was part of her family too. "I'm sorry Mammy," Scarlett whispered. "And I'm sorry too that we couldn't stay at the hotel. It's tiring moving from one place to another but Rhett insisted."

"Ahs not sorry. Dis is where we shud ha been in der first place, Miss Scarlett. Ah tried ter tell you so. Mist' Rhett an' Clarence come ter the hotel early dis mornin' an' not a moment too soon. Dis is where Ah belong. Wid you and Mist' Rhett." She plumped herself down on the bed. "Now, Miss Scarlett, Miss Suellen come to Charleston las' night an she stay wid Miss 'Lalie an Miss Pauline. Ah want no trouble from you two today. Miss Ellen will turn in her grave if you two are nasty wid each other."

"I never start the arguments, Mammy," pouted Scarlett.

"Mebbe. But you sho don't try an end 'em," and Mammy shot Scarlett one of her discerning looks.

Scarlett hadn't seen Suellen since she had spent three weeks at Tara immediately after Melly's funeral. They had both managed to maintain a civil discourse until the penultimate evening when Suellen had broken rank and, irritated by Scarlett's sudden elevation of Melly to the highest pedestal, had started calling Scarlett all sorts of names. In retaliation, Scarlett had called Suellen a father killer and it was only Will's and Mammy's swift intervention that had prevented the sisters from engaging in full on fisticuffs.

"Now, Ahs go an fix yo bath. De funer'l in two hours."

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Scarlett was sitting in the ivory bedroom fixing the last pins in her hair, when Rhett entered. He was in a dark charcoal suit – almost black – the same clothes he had worn to Bonnie's funeral almost a year earlier. But he wasn't wearing the ghostly expression that he had worn twelve months ago, nor were his eyes puffy or bloodshot. And he wasn't looking at Scarlett with hatred.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes thank you," Scarlett replied. "Much better than I expected."

"Good."

He walked over to the windows and looked out over the gardens, towards the river. When he didn't speak any further, Scarlett turned back to the mirror, and smoothed her hair with her fingers. They were like strangers again, thought Scarlett. Polite, courteous, strangers and she wondered why he was even bothering to go to Carreen's funeral. He had never met her and he could have easily made his excuses and absented himself from today's events. But then she thought of Miss Eleanor. Miss Eleanor would have made him come – she was probably the one person in this world that could make him do things he would rather not.

"I had forgotten what a beautiful view of the river this room has," he said suddenly, as Scarlett adjusted a brooch on her throat. "It was this bedroom that sold me the house. I've always liked to see or hear water. Even if it is Charlestonian water."

"If you like the view so much, why didn't you make this your room then? Why don't you sleep in here?"

"With you?" he asked and although he kept his face hidden, she knew he was goading her.

"Not with me!" she chided, trying – and failing – to feel affronted. "I mean, after I've gone, why don't you move in here?"

He didn't say anything but instead stood still, facing the window.

Scarlett turned back to her mirror. She had a thousand questions she wanted to ask although she wasn't quite sure that she was feeling brave enough to hear the answers. But then perhaps, hearing the truth might help her move on. Might help them both move on.

She steeled herself. "Rhett, why did you never bring me here?" she asked quietly, hoping that her tone wasn't accusatory. "Why did I never meet your mother until...Bonnie…until last year?" He didn't even flinch and she wondered if he had heard her. "I…I wouldn't have minded visiting Charleston from time to time. I wouldn't have minded getting to know your mother properly. If that was what you had wanted."

There was a deathly silence that seemed to go on for minutes. Finally, he replied, "I'm not sure that's what I did want, Scarlett."

Scarlett continued. It was easier talking to him when he wasn't looking at her. "It's as though you deliberately kept us apart. Your mother and I. Why did you never invite her to Atlanta to stay with us? It would have been…nice…to have got to know her sooner than I did. You had no qualms about introducing her to Bonnie and…well, I was Bonnie's mother…and…" She swallowed. "And your wife."

He turned his head over his shoulder to look at her as though he was trying to ascertain whether there was an underlying meaning to her question. Then he shrugged. "I don't know. Pride, I suppose."

Scarlett slowly nodded, understanding. She had been right. "Because we weren't sleeping together, you mean?"

"Yes," he said simply. And then he added almost in a whisper. "I didn't want her to see that her son's wife couldn't even bear for him to touch her. And I didn't want her to wonder why – or for her to hear that her daughter-in-law was in love with someone who was not me. So I thought it best if I kept you two apart."

As his words sunk in, Scarlett felt her eyes prick with tears. Not just because she felt sad – sad at another missed opportunity – but because she felt shame. Ashamed of her behaviour. Ashamed of breaking their marital pact. He had been right. He had kept his side of their deal and she had reneged on her part of the bargain in a fit of misguided self-indulgence. What had she given him in their marriage except Bonnie and a broken heart?

"I was such a fool," Scarlett whispered. "And too proud. Too proud to admit I had made a mistake."

Rhett turned round fully to face her. "Maybe. But I've come to realise over these last few months that I was a bigger fool." He looked at her from where he was standing by the window and she thought she saw something a glint in his black eyes. "You were right, Scarlett. I didn't fight hard enough. And perhaps I didn't really fight at all. I finally had my prize – you - and then…" His voice trailed off. He sighed and then he glanced at the clock on her bedside table. "Well, anyway, there's no point ruminating over what might have been. It's a long time ago."

"Not that long ago, Rhett. We could…" He arched his eyebrows as though he was signalling for her to stop. He was right. There was no point going over old ground, talking about what they could do if she had no part of his heart. If his life had already moved on.

He walked back over to where she was sitting. "Are you ready? Or do you need some more time?"

"I'm ready," she said, grabbing her mantilla and her bonnet from the chair and taking one last look in the mirror. She pinched her cheeks instinctively and then chastised herself. She wasn't going to some tea party. She was going to her sister's funeral. Who cared what she looked like?

"Where's Mammy?" Scarlett asked.

"Mammy's downstairs with Mother. Your uncle Henry is going to meet us at the convent." Rhett pushed the door open and Scarlett brushed past. As he pulled the door shut behind them, she thought she felt his hand touch the small of her back and being reminded of his physical proximity she felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. "Thank you, Rhett," she said. "I appreciate you coming with me."

"I know how horrible funerals are of those you love. And more so when you have to go on your own." Her eyes darted up towards him as she heard pain in his voice. Who was he thinking of?

"Well, you've changed your tune since Melly's," Scarlett retorted remembering how he had stood apart from her at Melly's funeral and then left even before her body had been lowered into the ground. A flash of – guilt? – washed over him and she immediately wished she could recant. She didn't want to break their uneasy truce. "Sorry, Rhett. I shouldn't have-"

"No," he sighed. "You're right to reprimand me. I'm not exactly proud of my behaviour that day. But I promise I won't repeat that performance today. I'll be by your side. Especially as Mammy tells me Suellen is in town."

Suellen. Scarlett grimaced as she was reminded of her sister. Why hadn't God taken Suellen if he had had to take one of her sisters?

Scarlett hitched her skirt up as she walked down the staircase, Rhett's guiding hand on her back. The windows and shutters were wide open, ruffling the sticky heat and providing a subtle breeze.

"There you are," Miss Eleanor said looking up from where she stood with Mammy, as Scarlett and then Rhett, reached the bottom of the stairs.

Miss Eleanor tied her bonnet and then picked up her reticule from an exquisitely carved walnut table. "Now my darlings," she said, "I told Henry that Mammy and I would collect him from his hotel and then we would all go on to the convent. So we will take my carriage. And Rhett, you can take the buggy with Scarlett."

Scarlett shot Rhett a puzzled look and then spoke.

"Miss Eleanor. Really, there's no need to-"

"Mother," interrupted Rhett, realising what his mother was doing. "I'm sure we can all fit into one carriage."

Miss Eleanor raised her eyebrows. "Not all five of us, Rhett."

"It's been done be-"

"Rhett. Please don't disagree with me." A stern, no nonsense expression enveloped Miss Eleanor's face and Scarlett bit her lip to stifle a giggle. She had never seen anyone disagree with Rhett and win before. "Not today of all days. Scarlett doesn't want to have her dress all…scrunched up…before she even gets to the convent. We'll all be too…er…squashed….if there are five of us. No, it would be much better for all of us if you drive Scarlett in the buggy and I'll take the carriage and collect Henry from his hotel."

Rhett didn't move and Miss Eleanor gestured towards the front door. "Go on. Please Rhett. Clarence has the buggy all reined up. We should all get going otherwise we'll be late. And that won't do." Rhett pursed his lips as though he was about to say something and then shook his head.

"Alright Mother," he finally muttered.

Without looking at his wife, he opened the front door and walked out into the steamy heat, with Scarlett, having been handed a parasol by Miss Eleanor, trailing behind him. Glancing back over her shoulder, Scarlett thought she saw Miss Eleanor wink at Mammy but when she looked again, Mammy had already disappeared from view. Perhaps she had imagined it. But there was something in both her mother-in-law's demeanour and Mammy's huddled stance that suggested duplicity.

Rhett took the reins of the buggy from Clarence and then helped his wife climb in. "I'm sorry about that Scarlett. I am sure you would have preferred to have been in the covered carriage."

"It doesn't matter." Scarlett said, opening the parasol. She smiled. "Is your mother the only person who can win any arguments with you?"

He grinned. "Mothers are the only females that are always right, Scarlett. Apart from Mammy. Mammy is always right too."

For most of the drive, they sat in silence with Rhett acknowledging the occasional passer-by. She tried to break the stilted air between them and started to prattle on about the weather, about the store and asked after Rosemary – who she discovered was on a tour travelling round Europe – but when he responded in monosyllables, Scarlett gave up and instead settled back onto the bench of the buggy, taking in the sights and smells of the city.

They arrived at the convent five minutes before Miss Eleanor, Uncle Henry and Mammy and were swiftly led into an ante-room to the chapel. Pauline, Eulalie and Carey were already there and with them was Suellen. Suellen shifted uncomfortably from side to side as Scarlett greeted her aunts and uncle before she turned to her sister. As Scarlett kissed Suellen, seemingly out of nowhere, Suellen started crying and gripped her sister in an awkward embrace. "It's just us now," she whispered into Scarlett's ear. "Ma, Pa, now Carreen. It's just us."

Temporarily startled and taken aback by Suellen's emotion, Scarlett felt her eyes water. She didn't trust her voice and merely nodded, thinking also of the three brothers her parents had buried.

"Poor, darling Carreen," Suellen said before her body heaved in a silent sob.

"I'm pleased you made it, Sue," Scarlett said genuinely, and as Suellen drew Scarlett in to an even tighter embrace, it was as if all the years of sibling bickering and rivalry had vanished.

"Will couldn't come," Suellen said, her voice croaking. "He had to look after the children." Then she leaned in closer to Scarlett. "He didn't want me to come because I'm five months gone but I insisted." Scarlett smiled and then looked at her sister more closely who was swathed in a thick cape, despite the heat. When would women be able to walk around pregnant without it being inappropriate, without them having to disguise their figures?

"Congratulations," said Scarlett feeling a pang of jealousy before she looked across at Rhett who was conversing with one of the sisters. Would she ever be blessed with a child, his child? she wondered. It seemed as remote a possibility as Carreen walking out from her coffin alive.

They were led into the small chapel, where Carreen's body had already been brought in. A score of nuns had filled the back pews, all draped in rosaries and murmuring prayer. The family and Mammy were led to the front and Scarlett dropped to the kneeler and began to recite the Our Father and Hail Mary, before her mind wandered to Carreen and death and Bonnie and the significance of tomorrow. If only.

The Mass was shorter than she had expected and afterwards, Mother Josephine invited them into a side room for some tea. Scarlett drifted in and out of the various hushed conversations and merely smiled when she was required to but otherwise relied on others to talk and to be polite to the women who had become part of Carreen's own family.

After a while, the Mother came over to Scarlett and Rhett. The Mother, too, in her youth had travelled round Europe and she and Rhett soon found that they shared a love of Italian art. Scarlett was only part listening – never having heard of most of the artists that they were keen to rattle off - until she heard the Mother ask about whether they had any children.

Scarlett took in a breath, wondering how her husband would respond. "Yes," he replied clearing his throat. He looked at his wife and then took her hand in his. "Well Scarlett has children from her earlier marriages. Our own daughter died last year." Scarlett studied her husband as the Mother offered her condolences. He had barely winced. Was that the first time she had heard Rhett talk of their daughter in such absolute terms? Usually, he spoke of Bonnie having gone – as though she had only disappeared for a while – or spoke of an accident, and let the listeners piece together the tragedy . She squeezed his hand and then she felt him squeeze hers back. Then, Miss Eleanor walked over and spoke in her undemanding, soft voice.

"Darlings. It's nearly one o'clock. I think we should leave these wonderful women to get on with the rest of their day. I've invited your Aunts and Uncles, Scarlett, and Suellen, to our house for a late dinner."

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They ate dinner late and it was after four o'clock before Mary cleared the plates and poured some tea. Rhett was present physically but hardly spoke and whenever Scarlett looked up at him, he seemed in his own world. She knew he would be thinking of Bonnie. How could he not be? And once again, two words of regret sprung to her mind. If only. If only.

The women and Carey retired to the parlour whilst Rhett and Henry excused themselves. Scarlett tried to converse with her aunts, but her heart wasn't in it. All she could think about was death. And Carreen. And Bonnie.

Suellen too seemed lost in her own thoughts. She, too, had barely spoken at dinner, allowing the older generation to carry the conversation although the disapproving looks that she had thrown in Rhett's direction had not gone unnoticed by Scarlett – even if they had puzzled her.

"You'll have to come and visit us at Tara again, Scarlett," said Suellen, when the conversation had lulled to a stilted silence. "I know the children would love to see their cousins."

"Yes. Perhaps at Christmas," offered Scarlett, not really intending to commit the family.

"I still can't believe she's gone," said Suellen in a hushed tone, her voice breaking again and tears beginning to trickle down her sallow cheeks. Suellen had always been closer to Carreen, Scarlett mused as she reached out and placed what she hoped was a comforting hand on her sister's arm. They had shared the nursery at Tara for far longer than Scarlett and Sue had ever shared it. They had gone to parties together, they had played with the same county friends, they had gone through the war together, they had got sick together, they had mourned their lost friends and beaux together.

"I know, Sue. It's all rather surreal. But we're O'Haras and we'll get through it. Somehow, we'll get through it."

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As dusk settled, Miss Eleanor ordered Mary to prepare a light supper for her guests, even though no one was hungry and Carey was quite ready to return home. Rhett and Henry reappeared just as the food was being served– with a stale smell of liquor on their breaths.

Rhett sat next to his wife but once again, barely spoke, and whenever Scarlett glanced in his direction, she was met with the same empty, glassy stare that he had worn earlier in the day. It was only when Henry told the gathered throng about the bakery fire that he awoke from his daze.

"How did the fire start?" Rhett abruptly asked.

"A cat knocked over a candle," Henry replied.

"A cat?"

"Apparently so."

There was another pause. "No one was hurt though." Scarlett volunteered. "Well, that's not strictly true I guess. Mrs Merriwether broke her leg but it wasn't because of the fire. A shelving unit had fallen on her."

"Good God, one of those heavy oak units that she keeps her pans on?" Rhett enquired, unable to hide the concern in his voice.

"Yes," replied Uncle Henry. Another silence.

"It was Wade that noticed the fire," added Scarlett. "You would have been proud of him, Rhett. I certainly was. He drove our buggy all by himself with Ella and went and raised Uncle Henry."

He looked at his wife. "Where were you?" She felt admonishment in his tone.

"I hadn't just left Wade and Ella travelling around Atlanta on their own Rhett," Scarlett shot back defensively, forgetting that they were in a room full of people. More softly, she said, "I went to see if anyone was trapped in the bakery."

"You went into the burning bakery?" he asked, leaning towards her, his whole body facing her.

"Well, sort of," Scarlett said, feeling bashful talking about her own heroics. "The fire was at the front and I went round to the back. And I saw Mrs Merriwether and managed to pull her out."

"You must be quite Atlanta's heroine."

Scarlett shrugged. "Well, I did what anyone else would have done."

"She is Atlanta's heroine," Henry said. "She and Wade were the talk of the town for at least a week, Rhett. It's nice to hear good things said about my family for a change."

Suellen, who had been listening to the exchange, suddenly spoke. "You were always…rash…with your actions, Scarlett. Acting before you think. Marrying God knows who at the drop of a hat." She looked disparagingly at Rhett. "But I've come to believe that if you hadn't always acted as you did, well… people…might have died – Mrs Merriwether amongst them - and I would certainly be homeless."

"Is that your roundabout way of forgiving Scarlett for marrying Frank, Suellen?" Rhett asked, his eyes flashing with malice.

"Rhett, please," said Scarlett in a hushed tone, embarrassed that Miss Eleanor was privy to the conversation. The less Miss Eleanor knew about her marital history, the better.

"Ladies. Rhett. Henry. Carey. Let's all go through to the parlour to take our tea," said Miss Eleanor, aware of the tension that was beginning to pervade the room.

Everyone but Scarlett and Suellen stood up. "We'll be in shortly," said Suellen, placing a determined hand on Scarlett's arm. When they were alone, Suellen spoke again.

"I've wanted to say this for a while, Scarlett. After you came to visit us in October, I wished I could have taken back some of what I had said." Scarlett looked at her sister quizzically, not entirely sure where the conversation was leading.

"Remember you can't unsay what you say, Sue," warned Scarlett, as she felt her heart beat faster. She was in no mood for any further accusations – especially as she had thought that some of their old squabbles had been buried along with Carreen.

Suellen drew in her breath and bit her lip. Then she spoke. "I'm not sure that I can ever exactly forgive you, Scarlett, for marrying Frank, but I understand now why you did what you did. And things haven't worked out too badly for me. I've come to love Will and we are…happy together – although all these children are exhausting. I hope this is the last one. But you know men. You've lived with three of them." She patted her stomach. "Always wanting a baby. I swear it's some sort of virility contest."

Scarlett winced. How she would love another baby! Several more children if she could. "I guess we should both be grateful for what we have."

"Are you though? Grateful, I mean? Are you happy? Will and I have worried about you. Ever since…October…"

"There's nothing to worry about Sue. I'm fine."

"But are you happy though?"

"Does it matter?" snapped Scarlett, irritated at the line of questioning.

"But what do you have? Apart from money?"

"I have the children, I have my store-"

"Yes but…"

Scarlett took in a deep breath. "What do you mean, Sue?"

"Well…I have to say I am surprised that you are staying here and that your husband is here."

"Where would you expect me to stay?" said Scarlett warily.

Suellen took a sip of her tea before she turned to her sister again. "Are you and Rhett…are you living together again?"

"Well I…" she briefly wondered if she could lie and get away with it. She decided she couldn't. "No," she said quietly.

"I've never particularly liked him, Scarlett. Although I can understand why you married him. I mean, he must be one of the richest men in the South. But it's not surprising you can't continue to live with him after he killed your baby." For a brief moment, Scarlett wondered if she was talking about the baby she had miscarried. Suellen must have seen the confused frown on Scarlett's face. "Bonnie," Suellen clarified.

"He didn't-"

"As good as, Scarlett. Mother didn't even let us ride a horse until we were five years old and from memory, we weren't allowed to do anything other than go for a trot until we were nearly eight. He killed Bonnie."

Suddenly, Scarlett heard the sound of someone pivoting round and walking away. Scarlett glanced quickly over her shoulder and saw Uncle Henry standing on the threshold and the disappearing back of Rhett.

"Oh God," Scarlett exclaimed. She pushed her chair back and looked angrily at her sister. "Sue. What have you done?" She stood up. "Did you hear?" Scarlett demanded to her Uncle.

"I heard what your sister said," replied Uncle Henry. "And as Rhett was standing next to me and is now not standing next to me, I expect he heard too." Panic suddenly filled Scarlett's senses.

"Sue! I can't believe that you said what you said. No one thinks Rhett killed Bonnie. It was just a horrible, horrible accident."

Sue smirked. "If that's what you want to tell yourself, then keep telling yourself that."

"It's the truth!" cried Scarlett. "No one could have stopped the accident. No one!"

"You've accused me of killing Pa," replied Suellen, her voice rising in pitch and volume. "Many a time. And you were right! Isn't it the same?"

"No! It's not the same. I couldn't have stopped Bonnie. Rhett couldn't have stopped Bonnie."

"And I couldn't have stopped Pa from taking that jump either Scarlett!" Then Suellen burst into tears and Scarlett felt the own familiar rising sobs in her own throat. "Why do you blame me for Pa dying and yet you don't tar your husband with the same brush?" Suellen croaked.

"I don't blame you, Sue!"

"Yes you do! You've said it on enough occasions."

As Scarlett tried to blink away her own tears, she felt Uncle Henry touch her shoulder. "Scarlett," he whispered. "You need to go after your husband. He went out of the back door."

"I can't-"

"You can and you must. You're the only other person who can even possibly comprehend what he is feeling. You're his wife. And Bonnie's mother." He gently nudged her towards the exit whilst Suellen continued to sit at the table, head in her arms, shaking with her sobbing. Scarlett looked back at her sibling. "I'll sort out your sister. Go on."

Scarlett sloped out of the room, feeling miserable. Suellen had been right. She had accused her on plenty of occasions –maybe not always directly, but she had certainly slipped in little barbs over the years – and she knew that her father's fall, like Bonnie's, had been a terrible accident. She could see that now. Now that her mind wasn't befuddled with grief or hatred.

She stepped out into the back garden, the path down to the river lit up with gas lanterns. She stood for a moment, scanning for her husband but she couldn't see him. Perhaps he had already gone off into town. Perhaps he had gone to visit Hélène – wherever she was. Whoever she was. Or perhaps he had elected to get drunk with old friends at the local saloon. After all, he had been well on his way to losing his sobriety when he had sat down for supper.

Then she saw his large figure, cutting across the lawn, walking slowly towards the river and she felt her heart jump into her throat.

She ran after him and when she was a few yards away, she stopped quickly and gulped in the cooling air. What was she going to say to him, if he would even allow her to speak? She saw him pick up a handful of stones and then throw them across the water. Eight, nine, ten jumps they made before they descended into the darkness, leaving small ripples.

She smoothed her hair and then crept up behind him, the crackling of dry twigs and leaves announcing her presence. He turned round and caught her eye before he turned back to the water and continued to throw stones into the water.

"I'm sorry about Suellen," Scarlett said after a while.

"Why are you sorry? She spoke the truth," he said bitterly.

"What are you talking about? No she did-"

"Yes she did, Scarlett. I killed her. I don't need her – or you for that matter – to tell me. I know I did. I killed her. Not directly – just as your sister didn't kill your father directly. But I killed her just the same. And the irony is that I ended up killing her because I wanted to get back at you." He dragged his hand through his jet hair. "I wanted her to love me more than you. And so I gave in to her every whim, even when common sense should have told me it was madness. Even if what she was asking to do was dangerous. I was incapable of denying her anything. Especially if you had told her "no". All the time, I spoiled her. Not just because I loved her so much but because it was a way of getting back at you. I wanted to spite you. You were right! She should never have been on a horse in the first place-"

"Rhett! I wasn't right-"

"-Let alone have been jumping. I remember her running in to my bedroom one day crying because you had told her that she couldn't jump and I overruled you. Just because I could. Not because I disagreed with your sentiments. But because I thought that she would love me that little bit more if I said "yes" when you had said "no". So yes, I killed her." He paused. "I killed her because I hated you."

His words stung as though he had slapped her face. "I made you hate me that much?" she said, unable to hide the pain in her voice.

"No! You made me love you that much!" he cried out. "As I've said before, Scarlett, there's a thin line between love and hate."

"If you hated me that much it's because I made you hate me, Rhett. It's my fault," Scarlett said her voice quivering.

He flicked his eyes up to her and she saw that they were swimming in water. And then he turned away again, and picked up another bunch of stones, skimming them across the small white caps that were glistening in the early moonlight.

"No, it's my fault. It's my fault she's dead. I wanted to hurt you, Scarlett because you had hurt me so much. And I used Bonnie to hurt you. As I told you in October, I don't know why my ban from our bedroom hurt so much but it did! It wounded my pride more than I should have ever let it. You didn't kick either of your other husbands out of your bed did you?"

Suddenly, Scarlett remembered how she had resolved that Ella would be her last child and that she had every intention of keeping Frank at arms' length. But he had died before she had put her plan into action. "No but I was hardly married to them! I expect I would have done! I had decided I didn't want any more children and I-"

"If it was really all about children and not having any more, there could have been things we could have-"

"It was about not having any more children, Rhett. At least, in part-"

He cut her off. "I knew that our…sleeping arrangements were the talk of the town. They were certainly the talk of the saloons and poker tables. And I just let it happen. I just rolled over and acquiesced to your stupid demand!" He let out a strangled groan and for a moment, Scarlett wasn't sure if he was crying. Then the noise ceased and he turned back to the river and again, the only sound that could be heard was the soft plop of the stones into the water.

Oh, this was so difficult, Scarlett thought. A hundred times more difficult than anything she had had to do before! She had never been very comforting. It was one of her many failures as a person but somehow, she wanted - needed - to reach out to this large, proud man, this man who had done so much for her, even if he didn't equate it with kindness. Slowly, she inched towards him and then she reached out and gently touched his back. He flinched ever so slightly but he didn't try to shake her away.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" she asked softly.

"I'm going into town to take care of some business. And I have a meeting at a bank."

"Of course," Scarlett murmured. She looked back towards the house, ablaze with light. Should she just go back? Was her presence irritating him? But she couldn't leave him like this! Even if he might hate her. She had to try.

"Tomorrow's going to be difficult, Rhett," she started, not entirely sure what she wanted to say. "Perhaps, well, I was wondering if perhaps you didn't have to go to the bank tomorrow and perhaps you and…I…well, perhaps…maybe you could show me your childhood haunts. Perhaps you can change my opinion of Charleston."

"That's a lot of perhaps, Scarlett."

He dropped the unthrown stones and turned around to look at her. With the shadows of the night, she couldn't tell if he was mocking her or if he was even listening to her.

"It was just an idea, Rhett," she said hurriedly, unsure of herself. Unsure of exactly what she was offering. "If you would rather be on your own or…with someone else…" Her voice trailed off as the spectre of Hélène flitted through her mind. "I just…well...I think I am going to find it difficult and…" Melly's words after Bonnie had died flashed through her mind. Only in the arms of Bonnie's mother will Captain Butler be able to find comfort, Scarlett. She touched Rhett's arm again. "I thought we could try and get through tomorrow together, Rhett."

"I'm not sure I understand your motive, Scarlett."

"My what?"

"Your motive. Your reasons."

"Rhett…I…" He had temporarily stumped her. What was he talking about? "I don't have a motive Rhett. Other than that I don't want to see you hurt. Or hurting. And just wish I could make it better."

"This isn't like putting a bandage on Ella's knee when she has fallen over-"

"I know it's not, Rhett," said Scarlett, suddenly leery. Where had this viciousness come from? And then as if the wind had suddenly changed direction, he smiled at her benignly.

"It's a sweet offer, Scarlett. But I'm not sure. I'm not exactly sure what I want to do. Other than wish that I could wake up tomorrow and for the pain to have disappeared."

"Me too," whispered Scarlett. "I wish that too."

He reached out and traced his thumb underneath her eyes, catching a sole tear that had escaped her left eye.

"I'll sleep on it and let you know in the morning."

I am sure some of you will think that Suellen and Scarlett might not ever have reconciled – and this is meant to be something of a reconciliation. But they are older, wiser, more mature. And from my own experience, when you lose a sibling, you do perhaps appreciate your other siblings – even if you have had a tempestuous relationship before. Life seems too short.

And I am not sure if Scarlett would have tried to put her foot down with Bonnie and her jumping, but I think that it could have happened like this. And I think Rhett wanted to spoil Bonnie- not just because he loved her but because he wanted Bonnie to love him more than anyone – including her mother. I think he could be very suffocating in his love – even if passively. Am I making sense?

I think the first anniversary of a loved one's death is so hard. And there is often dread of it coming up. And it is made worse here for both Rhett and Scarlett because they are stuck in Charleston – rather than in Atlanta – having to deal with Carreen's death.