Okay, I'm ducking away now. I got a little carried away in this chapter. You'll see...

Stark: Unfortunately I can't answer to your review directly. I left an answer in form of a review, you might wanna check there. Big thanks!

34. San Francisco - Tuesday

San Francisco felt still felt a bit strange. Still like home, for both of them, but further away from their real lives than ever before. Vegas was their home, the centre of their lives now. As they walked through well-known streets, their feet knowing which turns to take without them even thinking about it, some of the old familiarity returned though.

"Do you miss it a lot?" Sara suddenly asked as Eli stopped in front of her favourite bakery and waved at the woman behind the counter.

"Do you?" Eli countered without taking her eyes off a huge pile of brownies.

"You first." Sara volleyed the ball back into Eli's field.

"Yes, I do. I miss the climate, I do miss my house, my garden and I miss some of the freedom. It used to be a bit easier here to be myself than it is in Vegas. And it's less intimidating to be an openly lesbian couple." She sighed, licking her lips absent-mindedly.

Sara laughed at her woman's hungry stare.

"Hey, that's the way you're supposed to look at me! And those will only settle down right around here." She tickled Eli's waist from behind, then slung her arms around the pouting woman. "Didn't you just last week complain that your pants are miraculously getting tighter and tighter?"

"They do, but the scales don't confirm that I've gained even a single pound. Someone must be sewing them smaller over night, when we're at work." Eli defended herself and attempted to swat Sara's hands away from her hips half-heartedly. "And don't argue with me, you love the little extra grip I provide, Miss Sidle."

"Oh, I do. Very much so." Sara's grip tightened again and she pulled Eli back into her body. "We should visit a certain shop and equip to further explore certain possibilities you're love handles are offering, Detective. I want to..."

And hot-breathed she whispered her ideas into Eli's ear who groaned and finally pried her glance off the cake, turned and stared open mouthed at her girlfriend, who had the same stare directed at her that she'd just given the chocolaty treat in the display.

"Sometimes you're so full of yourself, Sar." She just barely managed to utter, her thoughts running wild at the scenarios Sara's words had just planted in her head.

"Oh, but it turns you on like nothing else when I'm like that."

"Using that knowledge as leverage is so unfair." She struggled to find a way out. "I always thought our roles would be reversed. I've never been... God, I'm afraid if I say it out loud it makes it even more real."

Sara helped out. "That you're not the sexually dominant part?" She offered smirkingly.

"Hm, put it like that and it sounds a little less frightening."

Sara leaned in for a short but breathtaking kiss. Then she spoke almost into Eli's mouth. "And it turns me on like hell when you submit, to use the frightening word. Remember the kitchen? And, no, I don't mean Saturday. After having you like that, and honestly, all you did was just stand there and just do what I told you to, I tell you, I never came so fast and so hard in my life. You'd barely touched me..."

She let the memory linger between them, then went on, her voice soft but laced with a hint of forcefulness.

"When I think about all the things I'd like to do to you and provided you let me, just thinking about the look on your face, when you seem like you don't recognize yourself and yet willingly comply, surrender yourself so completely, for me, that you allow yourself to feel that for me, I - I could just loose myself in those moments. You make me want to do things I never thought I had in me before."

Eli gulped, but kept her wits.

"One day soon, Sara, one day soon I'll take you by surprise. Then I'll tie you up and have my way with you. I still have a trick or two saved from the old days."

"Oh, I wouldn't mind if you tried to turn the tables."

Looking positively ravenous, Eli grabbed Sara's neck and brought their lips together once more. Then she let go and let out some air in a long blow, looking down at her feet.

"But honestly, I've never seen myself behave this way, let alone get so incredibly off on it. I don't know yet how far it'll go, how much more it is I could possibly want you to do. And frighteningly enough, I think I want to find out. And soon..."

Sara lifted her chin up with her thumb and forefinger, the gentleness in her eyes caressed Eli's very heart.

"Sweetness, it came naturally with you, I didn't know before either. I want to find out, too. I love the gentle and slow times when everything is just intense and lasts and there's this balance of giving and taking, but..."

"Sometimes you get incredibly off on being unmistakably on top and going at it a little rough, ordering me what to do and speaking with me the way you do then. And I adore that side of you, god, just thinking about your expressions, your words, the tone of your voice-" Eli's eyes glazed over and her throat was suddenly uncomfortably dry. "Okay, let's go to that shop, but - ah-ah, don't try and drag me there before-" She slipped out of Sara's grasp, who had started pulling her away from the bakery. "-I've bought some of those brownies and said 'Hello' to Jenny."

She reached for Sara's hand and pulled her close again just at the bottom of the few stairs that led up to the shop door, a coy but very determined smile playing on her lips.

"And if you're behaving until we get home, you eventually get to make that little fantasy of yours become reality. Eventually. And I'd even share one of those incredible, gooey, highly addictive brownies with you."

She winked at Sara, whose jaw had dropped in surprise and extremely visible anticipation, and quickly jumped up the stairs.

Ripping the door open and making the little bell chime loudly, Eli exclaimed.

"Hey, oh lovely Jen, got a hug for a woman who misses you and your baking skills like hell back there in Vegas?"

She kneeled beside her bed, her upper body pressed into the mattress, fists clutching the comforter.

"Sara? SARA!"

She could take the blindfold off, just like that. She wasn't bound or anything. Sara had just asked her to stretch her arms out above her head. And wait.

"Where the fuck are you? Are you even still in the room?"

She didn't like the quality of her own voice. It sounded like it was about to break, rough and distressed. Then she more felt than heard movement behind her.

"I'm right here."

So close and yet so far. A breath of warm air hit her back, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind. Why didn't she just get up, take the blindfold off and end Sara's little game. She growled.

"Just do something, anything. I can't stand to just kneel here and wait for you to make your bloody move."

A loud smack and white hot pain shot through her left butt cheek, making her jump and yell out.

"Ow, for Christ's sake. Did you..."

Of yourse, stupid, she did just spank you. Why don't you get up and tell her that's it? Why are you lying here, waiting for the next blow to hit you? She clenched her teeth as the heat started to spread from her butt to a different area.

"Sara?"

Why does your reply sound so soft?

"Yeah, sweetness."

Oh, can her voice get any lower, any more gravelly, any sexier? Does she even know what she's doing to you? You're aching for her, you agreed, you consented to try something else, though you had absolutely no idea where it'd go, what she'd do.

"Do it again!"

Just one more. One more to see if it really was the blow that got you off, or just the whole situation per se. Just one.

"Ouch, fuck, that hurt!"

Oh. My. Goodness.

"Fuck! God, take it easy."

That shouldn't feel that way, or should it?

"Do you want me to stop?"

The slight tremble in her voice. What is it, insecurity that she stepped over a line or fear that you'll tell her to stop?

"N-no!"

Geez, how eloquent! Stuttering, Trent? Just tell her what's on your mind. Grow a decent pair and tell her. She's flying just as blind as you are. Ah, well, metaphorically speaking, since you're the one wearing a blindfold. Breathe, deep.

"Sara, just do it. Just - warm me up a bit at first or something."

Wow, that's nice. Rubbing is good. Those taps are good. Whoa, warm... Ow. Fuck, that's hot. Ouch.Wow...

"You really like that, huh?"

Another smack. And then another. Was that a moan? Did you just freakin' moan? Another. Goodness gracious, never thought a spanking could get you that wet.

"Oh yeah, you like that. Let's see what I can do about that."

The blows were back to solid taps and Sara's free hand gently caressed Eli's back that was coated with sweat. Sara groaned at the sight in front of her. That cute ass bearing her reddening hand marks. Delicious. She bent down and placed wet kisses all over Eli's punished backside, then blew cold air over the abused area to soothe the pain a bit before she slipped her tongue lower and groaned at the unmistakable taste. So hot, literally. And so damn wet.

"Damn, Cupid. Should we really be getting off on this?"

Eli's almost constant moaning turned into a hoarse chuckle and her body twitched as she felt Sara's tongue dipping into her again.

"You're asking me? I don't know what to say except that I need to feel you, love. Please?"

Sara answered by delivering one last stinging slap before she grabbed the strap-on she was wearing an guided the tip between Eli's thighs, growling at the gasp that followed her action. Fuck, this was good.

"You're going to feel me."

And in one quick stroke, she easily entered Eli at full length.

"Oh, fuck, yes. Yes!"

Oh, this was divine.

"Tell me if it hurts?"

Eli wasn't capable of answering anymore, but the ferocity with which she pushed back into every thrust told Sara more than enough.

Sara groaned as every time she pushed her hips forward and slammed into Eli, the pressure the small vibrator attached to the inside of the strap applied to her clit brought her closer and closer to her own release. Eli moaned and panted beneath her and in a rush of strangled words, she muttered.

"Don't hold back, I want this, fuck me, Sara, hard."

Sweet heavens, she didn't just say that?

Instantly Sara slowed down and Eli sighed exasperated as Sara withdrew almost completely and then stilled all movement.

"NO... not now, God, Sidle, please!"

The pleading, almost whining and desperate tone send the most pleasant tingle down Sara's spine. So good, so powerful. So hers.

"My game, my rules. You get what I give you. You get to come when I let you."

She growled out and watched amazed as Eli's body stiffened and she used the moment to slam back into her, relishing in Eli's soft scream. Buried deep inside her girlfriend, she bent over and slung one arm around Eli, finding her clit and flicking it harshly.

Trapped, she was trapped under the weight of Sara's body, felt filled to the core and at the mercy of Sara's teasing fingers. And yet she felt so light and as Sara almost inaudibly breathed into her ear

"I love you."

she whimpered and melted into the blanket of clouds she seemed to float on.

Sara propped herself up again, grabbed Eli's hips with both hands, yay to those love handles, and started thrusting again, increasing fast in speed and forcefulness. Twisting her hips every time she moved back rewarded her with having Eli moan out her name. She was so close herself, so damn close.

"I'm gonna- come, Go-o-od!"

The throes and spasms of her release transmitted to Eli, who clung to the comforter for dear life and bit into it, smothering the yell Sara had just torn from her as she followed her, tumbling, falling, crashing over that sweet edge.

Minutes later they lay curled up on the soft carpet, strap on and blindfold discarded somewhere beside them. Their breathing slowly returned to something resembling normal, though both knew that normal wasn't so normal anymore.

"Love."

Sara had just snatched the comforter off the bed and draped it over them.

"Yeah?" She answered Eli.

"Was this a onetime thing? An experiment?"

"Do you want it to be?" Sara hesitantly probed.

Propping herself up on one elbow and locking eyes with Sara, Eli softly shook her head.

"No." She breathed out. "How did you know I'd like the- the- Oh my, dammit, I can say that! How did you know that I would like it if you spanked me?"

"I didn't. But as you knelt there, I couldn't resist the temptation. You're so receptive, so sensual. From the very first time we had sex on. Yet-"

Eli could literally see Sara's thoughts drift off.

"What's the matter, love? You know I love it when you call the shots, we've cleared that up. And I said I was curious how far it would go. Now I know I like a few slaps, even a few harder ones, and by the way you sounded, you were right there with me. Or do you regret it?"

As Sara didn't answer and Eli could literally watch how the confidence drained out of Sara and the first hint of sadness crept in her girlfriend's eyes.

"It's kinda hard for me to comprehend what just happened. I was afraid and yet I felt so incredibly good. Afraid what would happen once I started. Yet just the mere thought of giving you a spanking turned me on. My initial idea didn't involve that, it was supposed to go differently. But I felt so powerful once you asked for more. Like I was high. But how can I get off on hurting you? When I-"

Her voice creaked and she stared at Eli with wide eyes.

Eli felt a huge lump rise in her throat. Oh no, she hadn't hurt her, not really, there was barely any burning left anymore.

"Sar, hey, look at me, really look at me. It is not the same! I am not a child and you are not punishing me. We love and respect each other. You're NOT hurting me. You could never hurt me and if I hadn't been so curious to see where it would go, I would have told you to stop after the very first blow. You, my love, are simply not capable of knowingly inflicting real pain on anyone, let alone enjoy to see anyone suffer. But you are allowed to enjoy what makes me feel good. I surely am no expert, but I know what I feel. And I've never felt better than I do right now. I feel like I'm invincible. You made me feel that way. And believe me, I had no fucking clue."

"But..."

"Love, listen, you have had the upper hand in sex with me before. Maybe you don't even consciously remember, but I've felt your hand on my ass before. You've done that before, in a playful way. Sure, a tad bit softer, but we have had rough sex before. And we both do like that, sometimes. However high you felt, however you might think it send you on some kind of power trip, you were always in control. It was still playful. And I guess feeling that powerful comes with the territory. Having someone beg for them would make almost anyone feel powerful."

A tear slid down Sara's cheek that grew a little rosy at Eli's very direct words and Eli wasted no time to brush the tear away with her thumb, cupping Sara's face with her hand.

"But you asked if I was okay and in the most intense moment you told me you loved me and if I had told you to stop at any moment, you would have."

Sara's eyes widened and she nodded frantically.

"See? I trust you, Sara, with my heart, my life and my body."

Eli grabbed Sara hand and guided it between her legs, trapping it there.

"Feel that?"

Sara weakly nodded.

Eli pushed herself up and swung one leg to Sara's other side, hovering above her, shoving the blanket aside.

"Now look at me, keep your hand where it is and smack me again."

"No."

Sara's shocked but yet somehow torn expression tore at Eli's heart. She had to sort this out, now, or Sara would never believe her or worse, blame herself for doing it in the first place.

"Sara, do you trust me, too?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Then just do it."

Sara took a deep breath and let her free hand fall onto Eli's ass.

Eli twitched and groaned above her, her eyes snapping shut.

"Another." She whispered, her voice deep and enticing.

Sara watched the woman above her moaning her name as her hand made contact with the hot skin on Eli's backside again and she felt Eli grind down on her hand, wetness coating her fingers.

Sara sharply sucked in some air, mesmerized by watching Eli's desire-ridden expression and slowly started moving her fingers over Eli's clit and then down to her opening and with another, softer slap she simultaneously slipped into the wet warmth and lifted her head to claim Eli's lips, who moaned loudly into her mouth at the triple sensation.

Eli broke the kiss and even though Sara's nimble fingers worked her up quickly, she gathered her wits and spoke.

"Ugh, see what I mean now? This is what happens to me, this is what that pain does to me. It's kinda frightening for me, too, but boy, I really, really like it. Oh, yes! Like that, too!"

Testing the waters and feeling much surer of herself now, finally seeing Eli's face unlike before on the bed, Sara smacked Eli again and as with the blow and her thumb brushing over Eli's most sensible spot her girlfriend yelled out and came all over her hand, Sara actually accepted what had taken place over the last hour.

As Eli collapsed and fell half on top of her and half onto the carpet, Sara wrapped her in her arms until the last of the little aftershocks had ended.

"Wow!"

"That'd be my line, Waves. You fucked me into oblivion, twice. And that bloody strap on you chose is kinda big. I'm going to be so sore tomorrow."

Sara turned a couple of more shades of red, but the smugness that returned to her smile made Eli raise her head and glare at her.

Sara softly kissed her and felt her confidence gradually return as she replied.

"But I knew you could take it."

"You are unbelievable!"

Sara's eyes grew soft and so did her voice.

"It was incredible having you like that."

"It was. Everything was incredible. Do you think that one day we could do something like that again and you would feel good about it? Knowing that I really liked it?"

"You said you don't want this to be a onetime thing."

"I know what I said, what I want, but I take your worries more than seriously. I need to know that you want it, too, that you enjoy it at least as much as I do. This is nothing you can do as a favour, the interest has to be mutual."

"Eli, I knew what I felt before I began to rationalise it and realised what it was I was doing. Let me digest it fully. Maybe I do a little reading on the topic."

"On the topic? Which topic would that be?"

Sara squirmed a bit uncomfortably.

"You know what I mean. I'm a victim of abuse and I just learned that it turns me on to blister my girlfriends ass during sex. It's a paradox for me. I'm sure there's some psych stuff on former victims and SM."

"Aren't you getting a bit ahead of yourself there? SM, I mean, that's a completely different page. Wait a second, you've thought about this before. This didn't come out of the blue. Sara, you don't need a book or a guide or some psychology handbook. All you need is right here. Me and you. I know where you come from and I get why you got confused. Use your common sense. It's about trust and what gives you pleasure and what turns you on. Don't overanalyze yourself. I thought we were both pretty open minded. All we need to do is talk. Take the element of surprise out of the equation. I want to have fun with you, that's all. Don't label this."

Sara paused for a moment there and took Eli's words in. She took a deep breath.

"Okay. It turns me on to be the one in charge. It turns me on to tell you where I want you, what you're supposed to do and how. It turns me on to see you naked, that's a given-" Eli chuckled. "-and you look hot when you're bound. I like the thought that you shiver in anticipation when you're blindfolded and you don't know what I will be doing to you. Whether it be that you don't know where I'll touch or kiss you next, if I'll run an ice cube over you."

"All of that sounds like loads of fun for me. You won't hear me complain. I know now that I have that little submissive streak. And you like it."

Despite herself, Sara smiled at Eli and pecked her on the lips.

"Yeah. I know that you like it when I tell you to do certain things. Not move, move in a certain way, open your legs for me or come for me. I know that you like it when I bite you or mark you in other kinds of ways. I know now that you like the slaps. And that's when it starts to get complicated. Seeing those marks or a slightly reddened backside the next day is strange. I've lived with all kinds of bruises for far too long and knowing that I did that to you..."

Eli interrupted again.

"I feel proud. I feel honoured. I feel appreciated and loved. Understood. Again, it's not about pain, it's about pleasure. But there's a line between both where pain becomes pleasure and this line is blurred. Because I do enjoy a certain amount of pain. There, I said it. My name is Eli Trent and I think I just discovered I like to be dominated, spanked, marked and restrained."

Sara scowled, but another smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"Stop making fun of it, you're taking the seriousness out of my worries."

"You know I don't. I just want you to understand. Get off on it. You're allowed to like it, allowed to have a dark and wild side that doesn't conflict with things you've lived through. Completely different setting. This is about love. I love those marks. I love the bit of pain. I love you. Love me, Sara."

"I do. Eli, you're-"

She didn't get to finish her sentence as Eli silenced her with a kiss and pulled her on top of herself.

"Let it sink in, Sara. I know you like it, but if it plays into your insecurities or makes you remember stuff, we won't do it again. It's your call and no hard feelings or disappointment, however you decide. Now let's get off the floor, I'm starving, starving, woman! And I need a cigarette. Badly. And since I really feel naughty today, I'm gonna have two. And then I'll make you the best spinach and sheep cheese lasagna you've ever had."

She held Sara close and ran her hand slowly down Sara's back until it rested on the small of her back.

A smirk flashed over Eli's face before slapped Sara's backside lightly and quickly kissed the brunette, swallowing her surprised yelp.

"You just-"

"I love you. Take a shower, cooking will take about an hour."

So... Too much? Believable? Still in continuance with the development in their relationship-dynamic? Or am I overthinking, too? Wednesday is already finished, will be out soon. And as always, thanks for reading!