Out of Harm's Way

"I'm glad you could make it."

"Ah- it's nothing, I couldn't sleep anyway. It's gonna take time to get used to the new sleeping patterns." Nick spoke as he sat down across from Grissom. "Shouldn't you be asleep now, though?"

"I just- I wanted to talk to you about the, uh, the staff changes."

Nick gave him an odd look, and Grissom couldn't help but feel as if he had let Nick down in some way. "Listen, Grissom, I know I should've done better, and I still can't believe that Ecklie used us all against each other…"

"Don't do that Nick." He interjected quickly, his fingers automatically rubbing at his temples.

"Do what?" His tone was a bit cautious, and there wasn't a doubt in Grissom's mind that Nick hadn't blamed anyone but himself for this mess.

"Nick, we both know Ecklie. Neither of us can stand him- don't forget the reasons why that's the way it is. You know just as well as I do that he's only looking for what he wants. The man starts with the answers he wants, and he asks the questions that'll give him those answers. He cornered each and every one of you, and there wasn't a damn thing you could've done to stop this from happening."

"Yeah, but-"

"Nick, you can't blame yourself for this. Yeah you've made some mistakes, that's just how life works. If anything you made it harder for him to split the team up. It may be hard to believe, but he does have something of a conscience- even if it only shows up once every ten years. You were honest with him- and don't think he doesn't know that, everyone knows when you're put on the spot and lie."

Nick nodded a bit, not sure how to react to the man sitting across from him. "That's… one hell of a stretch there… I- it just seems like I should've been able to do more."

"You've done more than your fair share, Nick. Just take a look at our team- the only members on our team that he doesn't have any serious problems with are you and Catherine."

He nodded again, listening to his former supervisor's words, and willing them to sink in and hopefully stick. It was one of those few times when Grissom got like this, and he had to say that he was surprised that the guy had actually initiated such a personal conversation.

Which was abruptly accompanied by a wave of guilt. Though he had repeatedly told himself that he had done his best to keep Ecklie from being able to manipulate his words, there was still that doubt left in him. The problem wasn't anything close to what Grissom was trying to address and Nick felt the war waging on whether or not he should clue the older man in.

Because the truth of the matter was that Nick simply wasn't sure if Grissom was the right supervisor for someone like himself.

No matter how hard he tried, there were still things that he needed to hear. The occasional 'good work' comments, the reassurement that he wasn't dragging the team into the mud. But that was something that Grissom just didn't do. And it was something that he had tried so hard to let go, something he wished he didn't need, and it was an extremely futile effort. It was too easy for him to fall into any level of depression. He was thankful that for the most part it rarely became unbearable, but at the same time, he knew all it would take would be a single sentence to get him out of a funk.

Which is what was causing him to feel so terribly guilty. There wasn't a person he'd admit it to, but he was looking forward to having Catherine as his supervisor. It was the easy way out for him; he'd get what he needed, and he hoped that if he could start to feel better about himself then it'd be easier for him to work under Grissom again. Which was something he refused to give up on. Plus, Catherine was his friend, they had been for so long, and he couldn't think of a single thing he wouldn't trust her with.

She offered so many things that Grissom didn't, and he couldn't help but feel some level of relief that he'd be working for someone that let him know he was valued.

His eyes shifted down towards his food, trying diligently to keep his emotions in check. There was so much that he wanted to say, only the words wouldn't come out. Instead he went back to his food, silently hoping that Grissom would say something to fill the silence that had fallen between them.

"Nick-" Grissom stops, his eyes searching; trying to get a glimpse at Nick's before he says something more. There's something that feels so off, something creating a gap between them, and he just couldn't figure how to build the bridge to get across. He was willing to bet that whatever Nick was feeling went a lot deeper than what he had said to Ecklie. "I want you to know that-"

He had come so close, the words on the tip of his tongue. Except as soon as he had started to speak Nick's cell phone went off.

"Hey Catherine… yeah, okay. No, really it's not a problem, I'll be there in five." Nick looked up, finally meeting Grissom's eyes. "Hey, sorry, but I gotta run, Catherine needs me at a scene."

Grissom nodded in response, and watched as Nick quickly placed a ten on the table and took off out the door before he could think of anything to say. When the door to the diner closed he swore he could have kicked himself for missing his opportunity to let the younger man know just how proud he was of him.

To Be Continued…
Notes: It took quite a bit of time to get this to work out like I wanted it to. Hopefully the next few chapters won't take long to write and post, but with everything going on right now it may be awhile (I've got school, speech and debate, and one heck of a massive story in the works right now). I'd really appreciate any comments and/or suggestions, they do help to keep my motivation strong.