Chapter 35: Facing The Music
Kate is gone from the bed when Castle wakes the next morning. The covers are thrown back on her side, the sheets cool to the touch when he rolls over. Only the dent in her pillow confirms that she was ever there.
He finds her out in the kitchen, her bare feet curled around the bar of the stool where she sits at the counter talking quietly to his mother. A large mug of coffee rests on the island in front of her, fragrant stream rising from the mouth of the cup, her long, delicate fingers circling the rim in a soothing, repetitious rhythm. Her head is tipped over to one side, her hair hastily drawn back into a ponytail, and Castle watches her for a second, wondering how he ever got so lucky as to spend so much time with such a beautiful woman.
The sight of her smiling sympathetically at his mother, reaching out to pat her hand when Martha ducks her head and shakes it with worry, makes his chest ache with a sudden flood of yearning that catches him off-guard. The quiet, domestic scene has him hoping that they haven't missed their chance: that it will somehow still be possible to move forwards together, even with all the extra baggage they have added to their already heavy, complicated load.
"Darling!" exclaims Martha, hopping down off her own stool to hurry over to him when she catches sight of him lingering by the bedroom door.
Castle's eyes remain locked on Kate's face until he is forced to look away when his mother finally reaches him and throws her arms up around his neck.
He woke her during the night with his mumbling and thrashing; dreams so violent and vivid that his finger joints ache from clenching them so hard in his sleep. She managed to quiet him down without actually waking him, and a flicker of recall comes back to him now when her sees the strain on her face, the tired darkness beneath her eyes, and the concern in her gaze.
Martha's perfumed, colorful swirl surrounds him, and he allows himself to get lost in it for a second, giving her his full attention and a level of affection that he hasn't shared with her in days. He experiences true remorse when he feels his mother accept the love he offers her with such eager gratitude.
"Come. Come," she says, dragging him over to the kitchen by the hand. "Sit! What would you like for breakfast? Just name it, darling, and it's yours," she proclaims, with a flourish.
Castle looks at Kate and his eyebrows shoot up at his mother's offer to cook for him.
"Martha, please, let me," says Kate, calmly rising to take over kitchen duties and save Castle a bad bout of indigestion later on. "An omelet, okay?" Kate asks, smiling when he gives her a vigorous nod of approval.
She pours him a coffee, hands him the large mug with a wink that seals their shared conspiracy, and then she sets about making breakfast. While she works, she listens to Martha's barrage of questions.
Castle wisely restricts the information he shares with his mother, and when she pushes for details surrounding the final moments of Tyson's life the night before, Kate steps in with a timely presentation of his plate of food, skillfully cutting Martha off from prying anymore.
She seems to take the hint, leaving them to eat together in peace while she goes upstairs to shower.
"I thought she was never going to leave," sighs Castle, taking another swig of coffee, his head turned to the side as he watches his mother climb the stairs, humming happily to herself.
"She's been really worried about you. And with just cause," adds Kate, taking a spoonful of cereal and then falling silent.
"Hope I didn't keep you awake last night," Castle says eventually, looking up from his food to see Kate's reaction.
"How did you…know? I thought you slept through."
"I did, mostly. But I'm pretty sure it wasn't the most restful night you've ever had. So, I apologize."
"Actually, I slept better than I have in a long time," Kate reassures him. And it's the truth. "You ready to face Gates this morning?" she asks, popping a blueberry into her mouth.
"Don't exactly have a choice. We've been summoned. You too, Mr. Castle," mimics Castle, making his voice high and stern to ape that of the Captain.
Kate laughs and shakes her head at him.
"Get that out of your system," she scolds. "No room for joking around today. Rachel's ass is on the line too, remember."
"I know," he says, sobering up. "You two seem to get on well," he notes, and this is the first time they have ever discussed Rachel McCord, Kate realizes.
"I like her. She's honest, straightforward. Tells it like it is. No sugar coating. The world could do with more people like her."
"Tells it like it is? Ain't that the truth," agrees Castle, nodding vigorously. "Should have heard her when she first started. I think she thought I was a complete ass."
"You think?" teases Kate, arching an eyebrow at him, her mouth drawn into a smirk.
"Okay, I probably was an ass. But that's not the point."
"Right," nods Kate, grinning. "So, just out of interest. What is the point?"
Castle pokes food around his plate with his fork while he thinks of an appropriate answer. Carter Burke's voice is the one that urges him to be honest with her.
"The point is that…it took a while to get used to the new. She—it really wasn't her fault. I resented her even being there at first. But I would have been the same with anyone," he adds, for fairness sake. "You were gone. I missed you so badly. And the guys and the Precinct. I found myself drifting back there not long after you left. It wasn't the same, but then nothing was," he says, glancing around his own home to make his point.
Kate can hear her own heart beating, so honest and intense is this outpouring from Castle; the most open he's been with her since she got back.
"Then Rachel showed up a week or so later. She took your desk, got rid of my chair and…she wasn't you," he says simply, looking back down at his plate to finish the last of his breakfast.
"I am so sorry, Rick," Kate tells him, feeling the need to say something, while recognizing that she must sound like a broken record by now. "For the terrible way I handled everything. I acted as if my career was more important than your life, more important than you were to me. I don't think I've ever gotten anything so wrong," she confesses, pausing to see what kind of a response this will elicit from Castle.
"Yeah, well, that's all water under the bridge now," he replies coolly, cutting across the sentimentality of the moment. "Rachel is a great girl and a really good detective. Eventually, we had a lot of fun together," he tells Kate, smiling at some memory or other that pops into his head. "I owe her big time after last night."
"Yeah," muses Kate, trying to tamp down the jag of jealousy that cramps her gut, while fighting to ignore her strong suspicion that, at the Twelfth at least, she has already been replaced. "We both do," she agrees.
Kate gets up to clear away their dishes, but Castle insists on taking over, sending her off to have her shower first instead. She is already dressed and finishing up her makeup, when he finally taps on the partially open bathroom door.
"Come in," she calls out, leaning in close to the mirror to draw a perfect, dark line of liquid kohl across her upper eyelid.
Castle pops his head around the door and then edges further inside.
"Everything okay?" asks Kate, giving him a quick once over when he doesn't actually come all the way in.
"Yeah. Uh…I was just gonna jump in the shower," he tells her, stiffly, still hovering in the doorway.
It takes her a minute to realize that he seems to expect or want her to leave the bathroom while he showers.
"Am…am I in the way here?" she asks him, coating her lashes with layers of black mascara, the wand held firmly between thumb and forefinger while she bends over the vanity.
When he doesn't answer her, Kate stops what she's doing and turns to look at him.
"Are you sure you're okay?" she asks, looking him up and down.
"Yeah. Fine. I just thought that maybe you might be uncomfortable…"
He stops speaking and coughs.
"Uncomfortable?" prompts Kate, nodding for him to say more, thought she has a pretty good idea what he's referring to.
"Sharing a bathroom."
"What?" she laughs, watching his face flush a little. "Castle, we've been sharing a bathroom for over a year. Why so bashful all of a sudden?" she asks, dropping her eyes until they briefly hover over his crotch before sweeping them back to the mirror. "You're the guy who rode a police horse through Central Park naked, remember? You've never had an issue taking your clothes off before. Why now?"
"This is just…awkward," he sighs, running a hand through his hair.
"Awkward?"
"Yeah. You and me."
"We're sharing a bed. You think showering while I finish my makeup is awkward?"
"For me, it is."
"For you?"
Kate halts what she's doing.
"Okay, you're gonna have to spell this out for me I'm afraid. Because I am in the dark here and we have…" Kate checks at her father's watch "…barely twenty minutes to get out of here or we'll be late for Gates."
"Please don't make me say it?" Castle surprises her by saying.
"Make you say what? Okay, you know what," replies Kate, hurriedly repacking her cosmetics purse. "I am just going to go and finish up upstairs. There! No more awkward," she snaps, as she hurries out the door feeling wounded and rejected and utterly confused.
"Kate?" calls out Martha, as she makes a beeline for the stairs, her heels clicking loudly on the wooden floor. "What's wrong, dear?"
Kate drops a lipstick on the floor and has to chase after the tube as it rolls away. She lets out a growl of frustration and spins back around to face Martha as soon as she picks it up.
"Just when I think we might be getting somewhere, he…he pulls back," she forces out, to a startled looking Martha. "Look, I shouldn't even be talking about this. It's fine. I'll just…" she says, gesturing upstairs.
"Katherine, give him a little time," says Martha, softly. "He's proud and he's hurting, darling. This mess with that monster Tyson must be preying on his mind too. Go a little easy on him."
"I think I've missed my chance," Kate confesses, chewing her lip. "I think I waited too long."
"Nonsense. No such thing, my dear," Martha tells her, rubbing her arm affectionately. "I know my son, and I can see how he feels about you. That's not even possible, darling."
"I hope you're right," admits Kate.
"Just don't let him off the hook. Not for a second," Martha counsels her. "If you love him, tell him so. You may have to make your relationship a priority for a while. But you'll find a way. I have faith in you, my dear."
The rush to get to the Precinct consumes all their time and energy, so they're in the elevator on the way up to the Homicide floor before they really speak again.
"I'm sorry I was such an idiot back there," Castle grits out, looking down at the floor.
"Already forgotten," Kate replies, keeping her eyes trained on the metal doors.
She's nervous about seeing the Captain, hopes that all the details in their statements match up. The next thirty or so minutes will be crucial to all their futures.
"Feels like old times," adds Castle, gesturing for her to exit the elevator ahead of him.
"What I wouldn't give for old times," mutters Kate, striding out towards the bullpen with Castle by her side.
Ryan and Esposito are at their desks, heads trained on the paperwork they're filling out. With Rachel using Kate's old desk and Castle's chair gone, the partners are without a permanent home on the Homicide floor now.
"How about we grab a coffee?" suggests Kate, tipping her head towards the break room since at least in there it won't be so obvious that they don't really belong here anymore.
"I just have something to get off the fax machine first," says Castle, reading a message on his phone. "Give me a second?"
Kate waits for him, watching him go. His familiarity with this place and how at home he seems here only adding to her own strong feelings about being back, no matter how temporarily. Regret sits heavy as a stone in the center of her chest, weighing her down. But there is little she can do to change the decisions she has made in the past. She can only try to mend fences and move forwards.
Castle returns and hands her a print-off.
"What's this?" she asks, looking over the sheet of paper.
"The proof you asked for. Jessie and Sarah's inheritance. The entry in the property records showing their joint ownership of 58 Elizabeth Street. It was registered under a limited liability company because of the tax implications of the building's mixed use and the commercial aspects of the renovation, so…harder to link back to them. Might explain to Gates why we searched it last minute," he suggests, with a shrug. "Finding the paper trail took longer."
"Thanks for this, Castle," she says, genuinely grateful as she tucks the report away into her folder. "And for finding it in the first place, even if I still don't approve of you investigating by yourself," she adds. "But if it hadn't been for this we might never have found Tyson."
"No. No, I think you're wrong there. I think Tyson would have made sure we found him. This just speeded up the process."
"Whatever way you want to look at it. Good job," she adds, turning towards the break room.
Rachel is at the coffee machine when they walk in, her back is to them as she serves herself an espresso.
"Hey," she says, turning to give them both a smile. "Woah, you guys have really long faces for a couple who just got out from under the threat of a serial killer. Have you looked in the mirror lately? You both look so miserable," she points out.
Castle and Kate look at one another, both slightly embarrassed.
"What were you saying about sugar coating?" Castle asks Kate, giving her a sly smile.
"Were you guys talking about me?" asks Rachel, starting to grin. "Because I know I am totally fascinating, but—"
Victoria Gates pops her head around the door before Rachel can say anymore.
"Good. You're all here. If you'd like to come through to my office now. Agent Shaw and I are ready for you," Gates tells them, before immediately disappearing again.
"You prepared for this?" Rachel asks both of them.
"We're doing the right thing for the right reasons," Kate reminds them all.
Castle stands aside, letting Rachel and Kate go ahead of him before following both women into the Captain's office.
Ryan and Esposito stand to watch them pass, and there's a strange feeling of ceremony about the whole thing; not a sensation Castle actually likes.
"Please take a seat," Gates tells them.
Jordan Shaw is standing in the corner, leaning on a file cabinet. She nods her head at Kate, giving her a reassuring smile.
"So, Agent Shaw and I have reviewed the statements each of you provided last night, and we've had a chance this morning to cross reference your accounts with those of the two other witnesses at the scene – Jessie and Sarah Calman."
Jordan takes up the story at this point.
"The sisters basically confirm your version of events. They said that Tyson forced them to take him to the small apartment their grandparents last lived in beneath the antiques shop in Elizabeth Street. He knew it wouldn't be long before we found Sarah's apartment and staying at Jessie's was no longer an option after you interviewed her, Rachel and Kate."
"So, he used that address to hide out?" asks Rachel.
"Seems that way. They'd been down there for a couple of days. We found bottles of water, canned goods and a few fresh produce items in the small kitchen downstairs."
"What about the loan he forced Jessie to take out on her apartment?" asks Kate. "Wouldn't it have made more sense to take the money and get out of the city?"
"We're still piecing bits of the story together. The sisters were too traumatized when we visited them at the hospital last night to tell us much more than I've just shared with you now. However, lucky for you, Mr. Castle," says Gates, giving the writer a stern look, "they do corroborate your account of the shooting. Both women clearly recall you giving Tyson two verbal warnings to drop his weapon. Jessie confirmed that he held the knife to her face and insists that she was in fear for her life. So, in light of that information, the D.A. has decided to rule this an open and shut case - justifiable use of deadly force in the defense of a third party."
Kate prays silently that Castle won't open his mouth, won't blurt anything revealing or inappropriate upon hearing this good news, and she's gratified to see him remain quiet and stoic throughout. He merely nods and then sits back a little in his seat, as if he might be relieved.
"There is the small matter of how you ended up at that address however," adds Gates, just when they think they are all off the hook. "Without a warrant, you know we're talking unlawful entry and—"
"Are you serious?" blurts Rachel, and Kate lays a hand on the woman's arm to stop her from saying anything more.
"We had this, Sir," says Kate, pulling the fax Castle gave her out from her folder and handing it over. "The Calman's registered the entire property within an LLC. So it took us some time to link that address back to the sisters."
"Why am I just seeing this now?" asks Gates, handing the piece of paper off to Jordan Shaw to let her read it.
"The call came in last night after I'd gone home. I only got access to the hard copy this morning. Time was of the essence and when we went down there to check for signs of activity we found the door unlocked. I know we should have waited for a warrant, Sir, but we thought we heard a cry for help coming from inside the building and so…" Kate shrugs.
"And you were right, as it turned out," chips in Jordan Shaw, while Captain Gates crosses her arms, leans back in her chair and eyes them all skeptically.
"One hell of a coincidence you three just happened to be there when somebody screamed," she says dryly, clearly not believing a word of their story.
Kate can feel her mouth drying up.
"But, it seems lady luck was smiling on all of you last night," she adds, to Kate's great relief. "And good news travels fast. I got a call from the Commissioner's Office this morning congratulating me on my team's success in bringing down a dangerous serial killer. Your efforts have not gone unnoticed at One PP," she says, looking to Kate particularly. "There may even be commendations in the offing.
"On behalf of the FBI," adds Jordan, "I would like to have said that it was a great pleasure working shoulder to shoulder to you. But since you ultimately managed to locate Jerry Tyson without our help, I will simply say that you've got a great team here, Victoria. It would be a shame to see it broken up."
"Indeed," replies Gates, thoughtfully.
Gates turns to address Rachel at this point.
"See that this makes it into the file," she tells the detective, handing her the fax Kate offered up. "And if you wouldn't mind leaving us now. I'd like a word with Beckett and Mr. Castle."
Rachel and Jordan leave the room. Rachel casts one last glance at Kate, giving her a sympathetic smile as she goes.
"I don't like to be made a fool of, as you both know," she tells them, immediately they are alone. "I think that the portion in both your statements that refers to the use of an extra firearm brought to the scene by you, Kate, on the off chance that you would encounter some kind of trouble, stretches credibility somewhat. Especially when we ran that gun through the system and found out that it was registered to you, Mr. Castle."
"I thought that if I needed backup, then a gun that Castle was used to handling would make safest sense," Kate begins to argue. "He has spent some time at the range recently, and—"
"Enough!" interrupts Gates, bouncing in her office chair. "If you required backup you should have called it in and waited until help arrived. You know that, Kate. And you," she says, turning to address Castle. "Point of interest. Concealed carry without a permit is a felony in this state, Mr. Castle. Don't ever forget that."
Castle keeps his mouth shut and merely nods, having the good sense to look chastened, since Gates clearly knows that they lied to her about who brought the gun along and yet she's willing to overlook it given the final outcome of events.
"You were both lucky this time. You got the result we needed, it was a good shoot, and a dangerous murderer is off the streets. But do not believe for a second that the end always justifies the means. Be are the law, but we are never above the law. Remember that. Mr. Castle, you are free to go. I need to have a word with Kate."
Castle nods and rises immediately, leaving the room without a backwards glance. Kate watches him walk out, expecting all the way to the door that he will turn around and look at her, but he doesn't, not once.
"You have been through a lot since you returned from D.C. to work this case. Being a target and managing to keep a clear enough head to hunt down leads and remain within the law is not easy, especially when someone you care about is a victim in that circumstance. You continue to impress me, Kate. Your skills, your dedication and your loyalty to your team are commendable."
"Thank you, Sir," nods Kate, feeling the big farewell coming.
"So, in light of your performance on this case I have prepared a report for your superiors back in Washington that should go a long way to smoothing over the somewhat…messy situation you left behind. However," adds Gates, steepling her fingers under her chin, "should you decide that life on a Federal task force is not for you, I would not be averse to having you back on my team."
Kate's head shoots up at this piece of news, utterly unprepared for Gates' offer.
"What about Rachel?" asks Kate, glancing out through the blinds to see Ryan, Esposito, Rachel and Castle all standing in a huddle shooting the breeze.
They look like a tight-knit little gang, and Kate longs to be a part of it, but not if it's at the expense of Rachel's job.
"Tidy up the loose ends on this one. I don't want anyone thinking I can't control my people. Understand? Cross every t, Kate. And then, in a few days, when you'd had some time to catch your breath, let me know how you want to proceed," says Gates, cryptically. "I'll hold onto this for now," she tells her, tapping the report she's prepared to smooth the way for Kate if she decides to return to D.C. "Rachel has made a good addition to this team. I have been watching you two working together. You could make an excellent partnership. Whether there's room for Mr. Castle's continued input remains to be seen. But if you intend giving your personal relationship a go, surely being in the same city would be a good start?"
Kate thanks the Captain for her suggestion and leaves the room feeling dazed and confused.
"Everything okay in there?" asks Rachel, jerking her thumb towards Gates' office as soon as she comes out.
"Eh, yeah. I think so," replies Kate, her brows knitting as she looks back over her shoulder at her former boss whose head is now bowed over some paperwork, glasses perched on the end of her nose.
"So, did she rip you a new one or what?" pushes Rachel, waiting eagerly for an answer.
"No. I think she just threw me a lifeline," replies Kate, looking around the bullpen for Castle.
"Looking for Rick?" asks Rachel, following her gaze towards the elevator. "He said he had to go. Errand to run or something," adds Rachel, vaguely, clearly feeling bad for Kate that Castle didn't hang around long enough to find out what Gates wanted with her.
"Oh," replies Kate, unable to hide her disappointment.
"So, we still on for those drinks?" Rachel asks, brightly, changing the subject, including the guys in her question. "Old Haunt, Friday night okay for everyone? Kelly's off this weekend, so…" she grins, doing a little happy dance.
"I'll check with Castle," says Kate, out of habit more than anything.
"Oh, that's okay," says Rachel. "He already said yes," she tells Kate, deflating her even further.
"Right. Great. Then Friday night it is," she replies, sitting down at a spare desk to begin finalizing the paperwork on the Tyson case, surprised by how empty she feels despite the satisfying ending they've just achieved.
"Darling, you're home early," says Martha, looking up from her magazine in surprise when her son strides back into the loft just before half past eleven. "How'd your meeting go at the Precinct? Is the Mayor going to give you a medal?"
"Things went fine," Castle tells his mother, the flatness in his voice drawing her attention.
"And where's Katherine? You two surely deserve some time off after all you've been through."
"I left her at the Precinct. She'll be heading back to D.C. soon, I imagine. Gates wanted to see her alone once she'd finished with the rest of us. Tying up loose ends, I assume. I wasn't about to stick around and watch her say her farewells to the guys for a second time."
"Darling, please come over here and sit down," asks his mother, laying her magazine aside and patting the sofa cushion next to her.
Castle does as his mother asks, sighing heavily as he lowers his large frame on to the sofa.
"Richard, I know you," she says softly, reaching out to touch his cheek. "But it doesn't take a mother to see that you are hurting right now. Have you talked to Katherine about any of this? Told her how you feel?"
"I shot and killed a man last night, mother. This hasn't exactly been the right time to talk about planning some rosy future."
"I can't imagine what you're going through right now. But you need to talk to Kate. I would hate to see both of you miss out on a lifetime of happiness because you were too stubborn to open up to one another after all you've been through. Just talk to her, darling. I think you might be pleasantly surprised," she adds, giving him a pat on the hand and a twinkling smile.
Castle thinks about what his mother has said as he sits in his office re-reading Kate's letter. She has apologized numerous times for the way that she left. That she came back for him is the absolute bottom line, even if the driver was Tyson. He has to decide whether he can overlook that hitch if they are to have a future together.
He leaves home with enough time to drop by the Precinct before his five o'clock appointment with Dr. Burke. He calls Rachel to make sure that Kate is there, picks up a tray of coffees and a box of French pastries on the way when Rachel tells him they're all still knee-deep in paperwork. He's actually whistling to himself when he finally exits the elevator.
The boys surround him like a pack of wild dogs, hungrily descending on the box of pastries.
"She's in the break room," grins Rachel, lifting a pain au chocolat to her mouth before Castle can even ask about Kate's whereabouts.
Kate is on her cell phone, her back to the door as she leans over one of the high tables to make a call. He reaches the open break room door just in time to hear her say, "I should be back in D.C. by the weekend, Sir. Yes, I'll let you know as soon as my flight is confirmed."
Castle pauses for a mere second to regain his balance, and then he spins on his heel and he leaves the Twelfth without uttering another word to anyone, accompanied to the elevator by several pairs of surprised and curious eyes.
A/N: Not long to go now guys. Hope everyone's having a lovely weekend. Liv