The air had been sucked out of the room; that was it, that was why he couldn't breathe. Dean knew he was being irrational, but it was the only explanation he had because anything else just wasn't making sense. One minute he was on his way to fix Sammy something to eat, the next he felt as if the world just ended. Looking at his little brother he could only stand there and watch as Sammy got up and walked into his bedroom.
"Well, that went well." Joseph said, laying his head back against the couch wondering what they could do to make this better. He looked across the room and saw that Stephen and Taylor looked as lost as he felt, and Dean looked as if he was going to pass out.
Sam walked back into the room after depositing Legolas on his bed and sat on the floor with his backpack in his lap. As his brother watched, he pulled the inner lining out of the pack until he exposed the envelope that he had taken out of the Impala, as well as blister packs of samples of various medicines. Pulling out the envelope he put it off to the side, "I had someone scan my medical records onto disks, and these are the meds I'm on." Sam said quietly, if he was going to face them, he was going all the way. "These are what I'm taking most of the time you think I'm taking aspirin, and it's why I clean up the bathroom after I take a shower, hell it's why I take so many showers… maybe if I keep scrubbing…"
They didn't let him finish his downward spiral of self depreciation. Dean put himself in front of his little brother and made him look up at him. "Sammy, you did nothing wrong, do you hear me?" he asked "There is nothing that you could do or have that would make us think any less of you, nothing!"
Sam heard all of his brothers agree, and he couldn't understand why they felt that way. Didn't they understand what he was, what he'd become? He had been honest with them, why couldn't they be honest with him? Looking at them all, he couldn't understand why they continued to look at him with concern, and he couldn't take it anymore. "Don't you get it? I'm not only broken, but I don't have the good sense to die; I have to draw it out until there's nothing left and take all of you with me! The only good thing about all this is I know that it won't go that far, Dad's out there, and he will make sure I'm dead sooner than this damn disease can take me! So quit looking at me as if there's some great surprise coming, 'cause there's not!"
Everyone sat there in complete surprise as they watched their little brother go into complete meltdown then shut himself off in his room. They continued to sit there, each one trying to make sense of what they heard, and what they saw; each knowing that Sammy was so caught up in his own pain he couldn't see anything else at the moment.
Finally, Dean looked around and asked, "Well, we've been wondering what he's thinking, did that answer our question?"
Walking over the door, they knocked on the door, and then tested the knob to make sure it was unlocked. "Sammy?" Dean called out as he opened the door, allowing the others to quietly walk in with him after he got a glimpse of his little brother.
Sam had just shut the door when his common sense took control once again. 'What the hell's the matter with me? They just want to help, it doesn't matter if there's nothing they can do; they're here. God I'm such an idiot!' he silently berated himself as he thought about the events leading up to the present. If only he could turn back time, if only he could have found a way to… to what? Make sure dad hadn't lost his mind? Make sure Dean never left? Might as well have arranged for world peace while he was at it. Picking up the mewling kitten, he laid on his bed and looked up at the ceiling wondering if he could get that kid in his art class to paint something up there as his eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep, oblivious to the worried brothers in the next room.
After seeing Sammy sleeping with the kitten on his chest, they thought about leaving him alone for awhile, especially after the week that he'd been having. As they took the contents of the backpack to the kitchen, Taylor brought in a laptop and they started going over his medical records uncovering more details of what their little bro had been through. Most of the items were from Dr. Long and apparently she liked to take detailed notes not only about the treatment of her patients but notes of family members too, and it didn't take them long to uncover an obvious crush on John and how she was more determined to 'cure his only son, no matter what it took'. After looking at the records, it became obvious why Sammy's memories had a tendency to get a little flaky in spots; John had approved a round of shock therapy during one of their 'specialized sessions' when Sammy had gotten too rebellious.
Closing the computer, Taylor looked to the rest of the guys and asked, "I say John Winchester dies, anyone opposed?" Not hearing any argument, he quickly put the records aside and set up parameters to start looking for John under any of his known aliases, then let his customized piece of machinery do its thing.
Joseph had been looking at the medicines that Sammy had been taking, and was pleased that he had gotten new batches, which made him suspect that Celia knew. "Hey Dean, didn't you say that Celia knew something but was hoping we could get Sammy to talk about it?"
"Yeah, why?" Dean asked as he pulled four beers out of the fridge. He remembered the conversation like it was mere minutes ago; it wasn't something he could forget. Worried, he looked at the medicine, then at Joseph, "Is everything ok? Are these good? If not say so and tomorrow he's going in and getting new ones."
Smiling, the guys knew what Dean was feeling. Now that they all knew what was going on, they could all help take care of Sammy and get him through it. Picking up one of each of the sample packs, Joseph showed them what was being taken. "There's nothing wrong, in fact, he's on the most up to date starter cocktail I know, which means that the virus is responding well to treatment."
Looking relieved, Dean had to admit that he felt better knowing that whatever treatment Sammy was on was working for him. Now they just had to keep him healthy enough to allow it to continue. "Hey, you know we can bring Celia over and have her tell us about some of the things they do at the clinic. You know she's always excited about something new they're trying. Think it'll work?"
"It'll work." A voice in the doorway surprised them, "You're right, they have some really cool things going on." Sam continued as he walked into the kitchen. He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep, but was fairly certain it wasn't long. After thinking about how he acted he felt awful and wanted to make it up to his brothers. "Are you really sure you're all ok with this? I mean, I have no idea how long this is going to drag out and…"
"Sammy, we're in this together, no matter what. Is that why you were so down on the idea of going to college?" Taylor asked, seeing the answer in little bro's face.
Nodding, Sam sat down and looked at them closely, "Even if dad wasn't lurking around, I have what ten, fifteen years before AIDS takes over? I've already had the disease for two years, by the time I finish high school; that will bring it down to four maybe nine years. Even if I did get through college, what would be the point? I'd rather try and find a way to enjoy my life and maybe in the process make a contribution than spend my time studying and counting down the minutes."
As they listened to Sammy, they understood that he had been thinking about this and truly felt his time was closing in. Between the disease and the not so subtle threat of John still hanging over his head, they now saw his life through his eyes, and it wasn't a long one.
"Ok, we get it finally little brother, but you can't expect us to let you waste your time. You need to live your life." Dean said, trying hard not to feel the pressure in his chest that told him that he was losing his baby brother.
Laughing, Sam could understand why they thought the way they did but he was wondering why they hadn't found the other item in the bag. "Well, I wouldn't really be wasting my life, or at least I don't think so. Hold on." Walking into the living room, he rummaged through his bag until he found what he was looking for; in for a penny, in for a pound. Seeing the puzzled looks on their faces, he tossed a bank register onto the table. "I found a pretty good deal and getting the money wasn't hard, but finding a decent contractor who liked a challenging deadline was a bit much, then you try to explain to a banker that you want to refinance something you just bought."
No one had any idea what he was talking about, but it was Stephen who opened the register up and looked at the name on the checks. Real Brothers Investments. Looking around the table the questions were piling up and it took a moment for Sam to explain. "I made an agreement with the Colonel; I'd be Jenna's bodyguard if he put most of my pay in an account and help me invest it. I wanted to make sure that you had something to fall back on in case you didn't want to stay in the Marines after I'm gone. Last week I signed all the papers to finalize everything, when I'm gone, all of you get my business. Actually you can have it now if you want, just leave me some cash once in awhile." Sam joked; trying to gauge they're reactions.
Taylor would have been speechless except for the question that popped out of his mouth. "What business Sammy?" Seeing that the others were just as curious, he didn't feel as dumb as he had.
"Oh! Uh… I bought a house, and I normally would have fixed it up, but with Jenna and everything, I needed to hire someone. I already found a realtor who'll act as the property manager, so when it's rented I don't have to worry about things in the middle of the night. In fact it should be rented by the end of the week."
They could tell that Sammy was proud of himself, and who wouldn't be, he set out to do something and he did it, but now the question remained of how he planned on doing it again. "How do you know how to fix up houses Sammy?" Dean asked, wondering if a skill had been passed down that he didn't remember.
Whatever smile was there, was now gone, and Sam could only look at Dean and answer honestly. "The reason dad even thought about letting me go with Maxwell was because he went through what money we had like it was water. After I got back I knew that the only way it wasn't going to happen again, was if I didn't let it. I learned as much as I could when I could from cutting coupons and catching sales to shingling a roof. There was no way I was going to go through that again."
Knowing that any enjoyment that their little brother had while sharing his surprise was gone, they decided to fall back on the well known ice breaker - poker.
SNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSN
He knew the boy was inside and that the boy knew where the artifact was; now all he had to do was catch the young pup by himself and he'd get the information he needed. His only obstacle was Winchester. He found out about the exception to the rule at the same time which meant leap year was just any other year on the calendar, and the artifact was going to be very much in demand. Looking up at the boy's darkened room, he continued to watch, he could wait; he now had plenty of time.
AN: And the saga continues... :)