Chapter 34: All That I Have

A/N: Okay, okay, I know I said I'd be back before 2013. (Happy New Years, everybody!) Please don't throw things at me. I have been incredibly busy lately, and I've frequently been getting sick (5 times in the past month), so I've literally had no time whatsoever to sit down and write at all, let alone to write fanfiction. I'm hoping to update every Thursday night from now on, since I got my own computer for Christmas. This is pretty much a pointless chapter that I wrote in 2 go's at midnight, so hopefully it isn't too bad.

Also, I'm only going to go up to fifty one-shots for this story. See, while attempting (and failing horribly) at doing NaNoWriMo this year, I realized I have no writing stamina at all; so, I decided I'd try to do a HoO fic to help me out with that.

Anyway, what's been going on with you guys? I've been OBSESSED with Beautiful Creatures, P!ATD, and TMI series. I'm only on the 4th Mortal Instruments book though. So if any of you have read these (or listen to P!ATD), feel free to PM me! I'd rant about them here, but this AN is already getting kind of long.

You guys know I have a Tumblr, right? If you have one too, follow me! (Link's on my profile page.) We can talk and be besties. And if you don't have a tumblr… get one. I swear you'll love it.

Dedication: This dedication goes to my English teacher, because even though she's crazy, she's the only person I've met who has read John Green before.

Disclaimer: nope.

"Since the first time I saw you, I have belonged to you completely."—Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

Some darkness was cold, Annabeth realized, and heavy and damp and so much more than just a lack of light. Annabeth tried to blink away the darkness, but it stuck to her eyes like a thick film. She felt something heavy and wet on her eyelashes, running down the side of her nose, over her lips, down her throat. I'm crying, she thought, as if to assure herself that she was still hydrated enough to even produce tears. Annabeth lifted a dirty hand to her face to wipe them off. She shook her head and kept running.

A falling sensation tore through Annabeth's stomach and suddenly she was lying face-first on the ground, her broken ankle throbbing viciously. Annabeth swore under her breath and sat up, a wave of nausea pulsing through her like a heartbeat, matching the one in her ankle. Annabeth gritted her teeth to keep from crying out in pain and stood up. Now she was moving at a much slower pace; it was more like a limp than a run.

During the last monster attack, in the middle of all the blood and sweat and glowing swords and flashing teeth, Percy and Annabeth had been separated. When she called out to him, he hadn't responded, and she couldn't see the glow from Riptide anymore. So, she set off running blindly through the dark, desperately searching for him and praying to all the gods that he wasn't dead; please don't be dead.

"Anna… Annabeth," a voice whispered, weak and cracking, fragile as a shard of glass. Annabeth whirled, her dagger glowing in her hand.

"Who's there?" she called out, her voice icy with hostility. After all, glass wasn't always that fragile; it could cut and kill.

"Annabeth… it's me. Percy," said the voice again. Annabet's breath caught in her throat; she struggled to push down a sob of relief. Her eyes blurred the darkness with the faint glow of her dagger and her nose stung. What's wrong with you, Annabeth? Stop crying.

"Where are you?" called Annabeth, turning in a circle. Her foot caught on something—someone, she realized with a shock—and she hardly had time to steady herself so she didn't fall over again.

"Percy," Annabeth whispered, her voice scratchy and raw against her throat. She dropped to her knees beside Percy and shook him, hard, his head bumping against her knees. "Percy, answer me!"

Annabeth ran her hands over her boyfriend's abdomen, remembering where the monster had gotten him, stopping short when her fingertips touched something wet. She pressed her hands down on the spot, her stomaching lurching when her fingers got caught in the wound. It had taken Annabeth a long time to find Percy; exactly too long, she decided, feeling his blood soaking into her shorts. Percy made a strangled, choking sound in the back of his throat.

"Shh," said Annabeth, brushing her bloody fingers over the ground where she was sitting next to Percy, searching for Riptide. "It'll be okay. I just have to find your stupid sword."

"In… my pocket." Percy's back arched off the rough ground as he coughed. Annabeth touched her fingertips to his lips, getting dizzy when she felt the blood spilling onto them.

"Thanks," Annabeth mumbled, too distracted to say anything else. Slipping her hand into his jean pocket, Annabeth pulled out Riptide. She held the sword out in front of her and quickly removed the cap, not wanting to cut herself. Riptide elongated in her hands until she was holding a long bronze sword, its glow casting dim shadows all around them.

Percy looked even worse than she had imagined. Small cuts and large, purple bruises littered his arms and cheeks. His lip was split and stained red with blood. Percy's black hair looked almost purple in faint light, and it was plastered to his forehead and neck with sweat. His orange Camp Half-Blood t-shirt was ripped in several places, the hem turned crimson with blood. Or at least that's what Annabeth thought it was. It could've easily been some kind of monster goop, since Percy's blood looked black in the bronze glow of the sword.

Annabeth reached forward and pushed his shirt up to his neck. She held Riptide over his stomach and held in a gasp; there was a deep, long gash just above the waistband of his jeans, stretching all the way across his waist. The wound was wide; it ended just below Percy's bellybutton. Dark blood spilled over onto his stomach and his jeans. Annabeth let out a string of curses, sometimes in English and sometimes slipping into Greek. Her head felt fuzzy, lazy circles spinning behind her eyelids. Her lungs burned and she gasped, but it was like the air had turned to oil. Annabeth wondered if this was what people who were dying of asphyxiation felt like. Her heart thudded against her ribcage, and for a moment she was afraid she'd break a rib.

Annabeth reached behind her, grabbing her backpack. When she and Percy had first arrived in Tartarus, they had met a somewhat friendly and definitely psychotic dracane who gave them food, water, and a few supplies before Percy killed her. She'd wanted to keep them as prisoners. Annabeth shuddered at the memory. Now, rummaging through their limited supplies, Annabeth wished they'd taken more with them. She pulled out their plastic water bottle, some nectar, ambrosia and a roll of white gauze.

Annabeth held the water bottle up close to her face. They were running dangerously low, she thought. She would have to use it all on Percy. With shaking hands and numb lungs, Annabeth uncapped the water and gently poured it over Percy's wounds. He tensed at first, and she was about to apologize but then his shoulders relaxed and he sighed.

"That feels better," said Percy, reaching out a hand and stroking Annabeth's forearm. "Is this the part where you take off your shirt to use as a tourniquet?"*

Ignoring him, Annabeth said, "Don't talk. You'll just wear yourself out." Annabeth tore off a square of ambrosia and stuffed it in his mouth. "Eat that."

Annabeth picked up the nectar and uncapped the bottle. She glanced over at Percy. "This might," Annabeth started pouring the nectar over Percy's wound, "sting a little."

"What do you—" Percy cursed loudly. "Gods, what is that?"

"It's just nectar," said Annabeth, already tearing off a strip of gauze. She smeared some of the nectar on the bandage for good measure. "Your wound's just so deep that it hurt when I poured it on." Annabeth wrapped the gauze around Percy's stomach until she couldn't see the blood soaking through anymore. He grunted as she helped him put his head in her lap.

They sat like that for a while (or at least Annabeth figured it was a while. For all she knew, two minutes could've passed in reality. Time didn't exactly follow the same rules in Tartarus), Percy with his eyes closed and Annabeth brushing her blood-stained fingers through his matted hair, over the shadows under his eyes, the arches of his smile. Annabeth thought about how much she loved the curves of his hands, the lines of his lips, the tips of his hair. When you fell in love with someone, she thought, you fell in love with the sound of their voice, the shape of their lips and the scars on their hands.

Annabeth thought about her and Percy, and like whenever she thought about them, she thought of how it was her Building Something Permanent. But lately, Annabeth had wondered if anything she did could be truly permanent. Who was she, one out of seven billion people, to be so strong as to impact the universe? The universe didn't want her. Gods, her own mother didn't even want her.

"I hate this. Being so… so temporary," said Annabeth, startling both Percy and herself.

"What?" Percy mumbled, his voice weak. But it was a tired kind of weak, and not a oh-no-I'm-going-to-die kind of weak that comforted Annabeth.

"I hate all of this, just life in general, going through all this torture; and for what? In 100 years, who's going to know what we've gone through? I've told you this; all I want is to build something permanent."

"You have something permanent," Percy tightened his fingers around Annabeth's, braiding them together even tighter. "We're permanent. And if you're looking for something bigger, well, even though we're all ephemeral, it doesn't mean we're unimportant. So maybe we can't last forever. But we're significant. Isn't that enough?" Annabeth tried to think of something intelligent to say back, but it felt as if her brain was frozen—it felt numb. Her whole body felt numb. She just nodded.

Finally, she regained her voice. "Ephemeral, wow. Big word," Annabeth teased, and he could hear the grin in her voice.

"Yeah. Maybe I should stop hanging around you so much; it's starting to rub off." Annabeth laughed. But it was small and weak and a laugh that shouldn't belong to a sixteen year old girl. Hearing the pain and the suffering in her voice sent a cold rush of sadness down Percy's spine. Percy closed his eyes and breathed in, savoring the smell of Annabeth and sweat and stale air—all tainted by the blood. Percy coughed, his hands automatically flying to his wound. In the minimal light from Riptide, Annabeth could see the dark red spot seeping through the bandages.

"Annabeth," said Percy, "I love you."

Annabeth's head felt dizzy. "Don't say that," Annabeth shook her head fast and blinked fast, her heart beating fast and her head spinning faster. She knew what he was really saying- goodbye, I'm sorry for dying. "Don't say it as a goodbye. You're going to be fine."

"I wasn't saying it as a goodbye, Annabeth. I was saying it as a fact. I love you, and I want you to know it, because no matter what you say, there's a hell of a good chance that one of us isn't going to make it out of here alive. And I don't care what you say; I love you; I will love you until forever ends, and after that, I will continue to love you even more."

Annabeth shut her eyes tight, tight, tight, sealing in the tears and the emotions. She took deep, trembling breaths, trying desperately to steady herself. Get a grip, she thought.

Suddenly, there was a pair of lips on hers. Annabeth gasped, half in surprise and half in pleasure and melted into the feeling of his lips on hers. Catching her lower lip in between his, Percy's whole body shook. He pressed closer to her, his hands holding the back of her neck, not even caring about the searing pain in his stomach.

Annabeth wasn't sure if kissing was supposed to feel that intense, like she was giving up all that she had, or if intense was just how they worked, but either way, she couldn't get enough of it, of kissing, of him. Percy mumbled against her lips when she kissed him back; it was driving her crazy. She kissed him harder, forcing his lips apart under the pressure.

"I'm all yours," Percy whispered against her cheek, his kisses trailing from her ear, along her jaw and stopping at the corner of her bloody lips. "I'll always be yours," he promised.

"Percy."

"I love you, Annabeth. Gods—more than I probably should. It's scary what I'd do for you." Percy leaned back, placing a lingering kiss on her forehead. He gripped her by the elbows, his warm hands resting in the creases.

"What?" Annabeth asked, wondering why he had stopped so suddenly. She looked at his face and noticed the pain in his shining green eyes. "Hey, are you okay?" she said gently.

"Yeah," he grunted out, "just…" Percy moved a hand to his stomach, "nothing; it's nothing." He leaned forward as if to kiss her again.

"I think that's enough for now," said Annabeth. A flash of disappointment showed on Percy's face, but it was gone so fast Annabeth wondered if she had imagined it. "Besides, I'm tired. Will you take first watch?"

Percy nodded silently, watching Annabeth with intense eyes as she curled up on the ground, her head resting beside his legs. She looked back at him—really looked at him—for what felt like the first time in years. She noticed subtle differences and felt a pang of sadness when she realized they had been apart so long that she'd missed these changes. Percy's face was longer and slightly older-looking. His eyes had gotten greener and his hair darker, maker the contrast between the two almost startling.

"Goodnight," Annabeth whispered, letting her heavy eyelids droop to rest against her cheeks. She felt a warm hand graze over her hair, and she smiled.

"Night, Wise Girl."

A/N 2: Did anybody else really hate that, or was it just me? Sorry, but I'm kind of rusty… it might be like this for a while. Anyway, the purpose of this second A/N was to assure ever TMI reader that the sentences with the asterisks I did not get from those books! I wrote the, before I read it. I swear. I know that if I didn't put this, I was bound to get someone accusing me of copyright. Anyway, I hope you all have had a wonderful few months. Don't forget to review! (Oh, and if you want to give me some ideas… please do. I can't think of anything.)