A/N: Oh, ye of little faith in my Elena. I'm actually glad that people felt Elena was OOC in the last chapter. It was intentional on my part so clearly I'm doing something right.

As far as the entire story is concerned I'd just like to clear things up a bit. This is not your typical 'Elena redeems Damon and he becomes the better man for her' story. This is a 'Delena are destined and he was *already* a better man' story and in my very first chapter I made it clear that there would be character differences.

They are different people than Show!Elena and Show!Damon, they have been on a different journey and no matter how much I've tried to keep them in character – there were always going to be differences. Some people will like those, some people will not and I appreciate your opinions and your views on the matter.

Having said that I have strived to keep their fundamental, core personality traits intact – Elena's selflessness, compassion; Damon's overwhelming capacity for love, loyalty and his impulsiveness. If that's not coming across well then I can only apologise, at the same time, if you don't like the story then please, don't feel compelled to read it.

Fair warning: Damon may be a little OOC in the next couple of chapters.

The Things We Lost In The Fire

Things we lost to the flames, things we'll never see again
We were born with nothing and we sure as hell have nothing now
Do you understand that we will never be the same again?
These are the things, the things we lost, the things we lost in the
Fire, fire, fire – Bastille

A collective gasp flies around the room as the sting from Elena's palm reverberates across my cheek and into the silence. That silence is shattered when I drop the glass in my hand and it smashes into a million little fragments on the floor.

Elena's hand flies to her mouth as my head snaps up to look at her in anger and confusion and I don't know if she's in shock because she hit me or if she thinks she's going to be sick because of my story. She turns and flies towards the front door but thankfully Katherine reaches her before I can even begin to blink myself out of the fog in my head and Elena tumbles right into her.

"Elena" Katherine says her name harshly and grips her by the shoulders.

"Stop. You can't go outside it is too dangerous. Rant, scream, rage, slap, do whatever the hell you want to do but you have to do it in here" she tells Elena sternly and maintains her death grip on Elena's shoulders. Honestly the girl took the damn words right out of my mouth.

I'm honestly in disbelief that she hit me. Actually, I don't care that she hit me; it was sorta fucking sexy; I'm just surprised at Elena. I've never known her to get so aggressive before, but I suppose she is just a baby-vamp and it's kinda hard to get a handle on all those emotions to begin with. I shake my head to clear the fog and watch as Elena does the same thing in front of Katherine.

Nobody has said a single word but they're all standing over there, huddled in a little group behind the couch with various looks of shock and awe crossing their features.

"Are you going to stay if I let go?" Katherine asks Elena and she nods so Katherine releases her grip. She throws me a small smile and walks back behind the couch to join the others and presumably witness wherever this little fight is going along with the rest of them. I'd tell them to leave but honestly I'm almost beyond caring. I just want to get to the end of the story and I've already given them one free show today. What's another in the grand scheme of things?

Elena stands still in front of the door for another couple of seconds and then turns on her heel and strides over to me, eyes blazing with fiery determination that I recognise ever so well and I brace myself for another slap while schooling my features into a neutral mask. Detached indifference that I'm ever so good at pulling off as I prepare to have my heart broken by Elena Gilbert.

All of this because I killed some fucking wolves decades ago. How the fuck did this happen?

Elena comes to a dead stop in front of me and looks up at me sadly.

"I never asked you to change for me Damon" she says softly and I begin to feel my mask slipping. I struggle to pull myself back together again because that was only the beginning of her what's sure to be impassioned break-up speech.

"I love you just the way you are and if you think that you can scare me away with all the bad, terrible things that you've done then you are sadly mistaken" she rolls her eyes on the 'bad, terrible' words and honestly this has got to be the oddest break-up speech I've ever heard.

"Why did you do it Damon?" she asks me quietly and I reach out to touch her and then think better of it and jerk my hand back down to my side.

"I told you why I did it" I reply, staring her dead in the eyes and trying to maintain my detachment but Elena just looks at me as if she knows better.

"No. You didn't. You told me what happened and then you told me that you did it because that's just who. you. are." She jabs her finger into my chest between her words and sends jolts of electricity sparking through my body at the same time.

"But that's not who you are Damon" she says softly and rests her hand against my chest. "I know you better than anyone else in this world and I know that's not who you are so you tell me the truth. Why did you do it?" she demands but her tone is gentle.

The problem is that I'm not entirely sure what she wants from me.

I did it because I was angry. I did it because I was kinda embarrassed after failing to take out a wolf with my handy silver knife. I did it because they were a danger to my life. I did it because wolves are a threat to my very species.

Despite that, there is a reason that I didn't just leave town and leave them in peace with my tail between my legs.

I did it because there is a reason that I was so angry in the first place that I decided I was superior enough to take on a wolf. I did it because there is a deadly part of me that comes into full force when the only feelings I know are rage and destruction. And the only time I ever feel that rage and destruction is when, is when something truly, truly horrendously terrible happens to me that I cannot handle.

Elena lifts her hand to my cheek and I snap my head back up to look at her. Her eyes are filled with love and devotion and sweetness and acceptance and I start to drown in them for the millionth time. My mask of indifference is gone. I've lost it. If it was ever there at all and even though I said there had been too much crying for one day I can't stop the tears rolling down my face all the same.

Because I do not think about this. I do not talk about this. I don't think. I don't want to think.

But this is Elena.

Elena who loves me. Elena who is still here with me. Elena who is still looking at me as if I am the only thing in the world she ever wants to look at. Elena who owns me heart and soul.

"Why did you do it Damon?" she asks me again when I haven't said anything in long minutes of silence. Her voice is pure, filled with emotion, filled with love and I know I have to tell her the truth.

Truth that she actually already knows, but I'm going to have to tell her everything, because the reason…the everything, the thing I don't think about. That is the very worst thing I have ever done in my life and if I can tell her that. If I can tell her that and she stays, if she loves me. If she forgives me for what I've done then maybe I can finally start healing the parts of myself that even Elena hasn't been able to touch yet.

I look into her eyes again and she nods her heat at me softly in encouragement and I will tell her. I'll tell her what she asked me and give her the answers she already knows and I'll save the rest of the sad story for later because there are some parts that I don't necessarily want our little audience over there knowing.

"I did it because I flipped the switch. I wasn't myself" I whisper at her and then I sink to my knees under the weight of all the things that I have done and the strength of her love for me in spite of it all.

Elena drops to the ground in front of me and wraps her arms around me and I drop my head into her neck and allow her shoulder to catch my tears and her body to absorb my wracking sobs. I cry like a girl and I don't know how long I do it for but the whole time she just kneels, on broken glass no less, holding me and rubbing comforting shapes into my back and she lets me fall apart on top of her and with soft words and gentle kisses she puts me back together again.

Eventually I manage to regain some fucking control of myself and pull away from her. I guess at some point the rest of the gang decided it was a good time to leave because they're not in the living room anymore, although I can hear them all in the kitchen so they've not gone far.

"I'm so sorry" I whisper at Elena although I'm not even sure what I'm apologising for right now. Everything, I think. But she just smiles at me softly and shrugs her shoulders lightly.

"You don't get to be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry I hit you I was just…I was angry at you for trying to push me away. For trying to make yourself something that you're not and I just had to get you to stop but I shouldn't have hit you. I'm sorry" she repeats her apology sadly.

"Hey" I reach out and cup her face in my hands. "If I don't get to be sorry then you don't get to be sorry either. Besides" I say and shrug my shoulders "it was hot as hell" I conclude and give her a wide grin which she returns.

"Are you okay now?" she asks me softly and I nod my head at her. "I love you" she tells me and then she crashes her mouth against mine and we kiss for timeless minutes until eventually I pull away with a groan.

"I guess I have some explaining to do" I say with a jerk of my head towards the kitchen before pulling us both to our feet. I kneel back down again to brush the glass from Elena's knees and press gentle kisses to them even though she's already healed before I pull myself back up again.

"Damon you don't have to" Elena begins but I press a finger to her lips. "I know" I tell her quietly. "But I'm ready. Besides I'm not gonna be telling them much that they haven't already figured out on their own after my bitch at Katherine" I remind her with a laugh and she nods against my finger and that electricity spikes in my blood, in my veins, in every part of me once again.

"If you're sure" she whispers and presses a kiss against my finger and I nod at her again and take her hand in my and we walk through to the kitchen together.

"Two shows in one day; you guys should be paying me for this shit" I crack and send my little rag-tag group a grin when we enter the kitchen which goes a little way to breaking some of the tension in the room. I jump up on the counter beside the stove and Elena comes to stand in front of me. She positions herself between my legs with her back against my chest and I rest my chin on her head.

"So I guess you guys already know that I know what all that nasty desiccating shit feels like after my little rant at Kat in the Gilbert kitchen a few months back?" I turn my statement into a question to buy myself some time and everyone nods at me a little sadly.

"Don't. Don't do that. I don't want your pity; I don't need your pity. I just need to tell you my little story and then we can all move on and stop wondering what the hell happened to me, okay?" if there is one thing I cannot abide, it is people pitying me. Well, I can handle a little pity from Elena but anyone else, not so much.

"Back in the 50's I was sold out by a very engineering member of our family" I begin my tale with a wry smile and nod at my brother. "I killed him but there was another man waiting, a doctor and he injected me with vervain and locked me in an underground cell" I stop for a second and press my face into Elena's hair while I try to figure out why the holy hell I ever thought this was a good idea and then I lift my head back up and get the hell on with it.

"To cut a very long and very boring story short" I speak with a bark of a laugh. "I was kept in the cell, tortured on a, sometimes hourly basis actually" I tell them with a slight frown. "We got a daily dose of blood, very nasty really" I remark with an exaggerated shudder and grimace. "Spent 5 long years down in that hell hole and then I got myself the fuck out." Yep. That's what happened. That's exactly how it went down.

"End of story" I conclude with a grin.

Only of course it's not the end of the story because they all want answers to their questions and I'm the one who came up with the brilliant idea of sharing in the first place so I suppose I just have to answer them to the best of my abilities.

"Joseph?" Stefan asks me with a confused expression on his face and I nod in response.

"Yep, that'd be the one. Zach's grandfather; think I may have plunged a crystal glass into his neck, the details are a little blurry these days" I tell him with a grin but Stefan just looks deathly sad; don't much need his pity either.

"Stefan, please don't" I say to try and avoid what I just know is coming next but of course he wants to say his piece so I decide to just let him get on with it and get it over with.

"I didn't know" he whispers numbly. "I would have come for you I swear I would have come. I got message that we were wanted here and when I arrived I found Joseph dead and I just assumed…" he trails off because he knows I know exactly what he assumed; he doesn't need to spell it out for me.

He thought I'd killed old Joe for the sheer hell of it and he never thought to check. Never considered that there might actually have been a reason for me killing someone instead of just for the fuck of it.

"Stef, brother I know you would have come. Listen it's understandable I do kinda have a bad habit of killing people. You couldn't possible have known. Why do you think I never told you? You have an eternally guilty conscience brother, no reason to further add to it" I tell him with what I hope is a reassuring grin and he smiles back although somewhat uneasily. I guess some brother bonding might be required in order to ease his mind over this unholy mess.

"Damon who were these people?" Katherine goes next on the list if people who want to question my history.

"Not really sure Kit-Kat, a group of whacked scientists and doctors working under the umbrella name of the Augustine Society. Spearheaded by one Dr. Whitmore, not a man you'd ever like to meet trust me. Not that you ever will, you'll never meet a single soul because I killed every last one of them" I say without remorse and Katherine gives me another wide smile which I return this time. Girl understands her revenge; hopefully Elena will as well.

The girl in question twists her head around to look at me and she looks both mildly impressed and a little sad as if she's trying to work out whether she should be annoyed at the killing of human beings who also happened to enjoy torturing and cutting tiny pieces of flesh and organs out of vampires or not.

Clearly she decides her morals lie squarely on Team Vampire on this one and she squeezes my hand gently and reaches up to press a quick kiss to my lips before turning back around again.

"What did they want with you?" Jeremy asks. "I mean, what were they trying to achieve here?" he continues in a confused tone.

"I don't really know what the end goal was kid; Doc Whitmore wasn't really all that big on talking to us. One night I got as far as finding out that he was trying to work out the inherent differences between vamps and humans or some shit but honestly all those science-y words don't really mean jack to me" I reply with a shrug and fervently hope that question time is over.

Jeremy nods his head and seems to accept my somewhat lacklustre expression and I place my hands on Elena's shoulders and get ready for this little trip down memory lane to be over. Maybe I can finish my damn pizza now. Or drink ten bottles of bourbon; one or the other really, perhaps both.

"Damon?" I close my eyes. "Blondie?" I grit out between my teeth.

"Damon how did you escape?" and there it is.

There it is. I grip Elena's shoulders a little tighter and she reaches up to stroke my fingers softly.

The problem is. The problem is. The problem is. What is the problem Damon, I hear you ask.

The problem is that yes, I'm going to tell Elena. I have accepted that I'm going to tell Elena. Was in fact planning on telling Elena the second all of these people get out of our house. In no version of my visions of telling Elena were all of these people present, in our house. I finally find myself somewhat ready to talk about what happened that night and now I have to figure out what to do about this.

Because the problem is that these people in our house, they are my friends, they are my family. They are the people who, in possibly misguided ways, love me.

The problem is that if I don't tell them then they'll always wonder why. They'll question how I got out and they'll question why I didn't tell them and as a man who understands how it feels to need to know something, I can also understand how incredibly frustrating it can be when you in fact, don't know.

And so the question remains, do I tell them? Do I just get it over with because I'll probably end up telling them at some point anyway and at least this way I get to tell the story just once and be done with it for good?

Or do I keep something to myself?

This is my biggest shame. This is my deepest, darkest secret. This is the worst thing I have ever done in my life. Do I even deserve their absolution? What's worse, forgiveness or hatred?

And I know I'll only get one or the other and I know that I have to make a decision, have to say something because everyone is staring at me waiting for me to speak and I'm not saying a damn thing.

The only person who isn't staring is Elena. She's just softly running her fingers over my hand and I grip it in mine like a life-line as I jump down off of the counter and make my decision.