34. The Thief King
Cloud wakes and stretches, then spends a few seconds contemplating the day ahead as the world trickles back to him through sleep-fug. He yawns and automatically glances to his right, but he's in a single bed and so locks eyes with the lamp on the wall.
It was strange, sleeping without Zack's warmth at his back. Like always, Cloud slept on his left side, where he would usually be facing outwards from the centre of the bed. Zack would usually sleep on his right, also facing outwards, and they would stay that way until morning or Zack turned over and accidentally socked him. Cloud is an incredible shot with a pillow because of this.
He and Cloud developed this right-left combo quickly after moving into the Traverse Town apartment. At first the thought of having to share a double bed with another guy made Cloud uncomfortable, until he reminded himself that it was just Zack, and the alternative was sharing with one of the girls. Apart from the standard burps, farts and other expulsions of air common to sleeping men, they've gotten along pretty well with sharing. They know when to give each other space and have fallen into a pattern of manners that suits them both regarding privacy. It's not something they talk about, for which Cloud is intensely glad, as his face would probably spontaneously combust if he ever had to discuss it.
Cloud gets up, washes and dresses ready for another day in Mosey City. He wants to start the journey home as soon as possible, so he can arrive before nightfall makes the landscape difficult to navigate.
Apparently ostriches, emus and other large birds are common enough in this part of the world to merit the Cathedral Hotel having its own specialised stable. Cloud was glad of this when he got there, as he'd feared having to ask for a loose box in a regular stable so his chocobo wouldn't attack or spook the horses.
He goes down for breakfast, but thoughts of the chocobo make him decide to check on it first. He's in a good mood as he crosses the courtyard from the main entrance, admiring the vaulted architecture. That is, until he reaches the stable and opens the top half of the door. Then he stops in his tracks.
His chocobo is gone.
A quick interrogation of the head hostler reveals that none of the grooms or stablehands took it out, and the man checks the exercise yard to make sure it hasn't escaped by itself. The yard is empty. The gates are all locked and the door to that stall has been bolted from the outside, leading both he and Cloud to one conclusion: the chocobo has been stolen.
"It shouldn't be possible," the head hostler chokes. "The Cathedral Hotel has the very best in security, and I always make one of the lads who sleep in the loft keep an eye out. They're on rotation. It was Victor last night, and he's got the sharpest eyes and keenest ears of anyone who isn't a bloody eagle -" He goes on this way for a full five minutes, but nothing lifts Cloud's heart from where it has sunk into his lower bowel.
The City Lawmen are called. They arrive and question Cloud for a long time, but they're hardly a heartening bunch. He gets the impression they suspect him of hiding the chocobo, or just plain making it up.
"A giant yellow bird, you say? Bigger than an ostrich? Shaped like a chicken with long legs? And it has blue eyes, like yours? And a fanned tail? I'll bet you're going to tell me that's like your hair, I suppose."
"Well … yes, actually."
The constable behind the chief Lawman sniggers. "Come off it, sunshine, we wasn't born yesterday."
"No, really. I don't have a picture to show you, but that's what it looks like."
In the end only verification by the head hostler, all the stablehands, and the receptionist inside the hotel who glimpsed it through the open front doors, are enough to convince them that the chocobo is real and is missing. By this time Cloud is just about eating his own chin with the desire for them to go out and look for it, but they stick around and make him fill out forms until they're satisfied. In triplicate.
He'd go out himself, but apart from his sketchy map of where to find Esmeralda's and the Cathedral Hotel, Cloud has no idea of the city's geography. The men compound this by telling him that Mosey is a big place, and that they'll try their best, but really, one bird in all those streets is going to be pretty difficult to find. That's if it hasn't already been killed and devoured, of course, which sometimes happens to missing birds from rich stables.
"It's because you're from out of town," the head hostler tells Cloud as they watch the men amble away with no urgency whatsoever. "That, and the Lawmen around here are all dungbrains. Personally, I think any desire to be a Lawman or a politician should automatically ban you from becoming one."
Cloud is only half-listening. He's struck with grief that the chocobo is gone, even though it was a crotchety creature that bit him a lot and looked at Kairi like she was the flesh-and-blood equivalent of a scratching post. It's the only creature that has never fallen under Cloud's spell. The best he's been able to manage is a relationship of tolerance. It was bred and raised as a working bird, so it appreciates the daily exercise and change of scenery that come with Cloud's delivery service. However, he has never been under any misapprehension that it actually likes him. The others don't believe him when he says chocobos are more intelligent than dogs or cats, but Cloud suspects this one has always resented him for picking it when the Heartless attacked Hollow Bastion. It probably blames him for it being dragged out of their world into this one.
He also feels guilty about losing it, and wonders how the heck he's supposed to get home now. When he realises the head hostler has given up and left him alone, and that there's nothing he can do but wait, he chooses to go and see the only person he knows in Mosey City.
However, when he leaves the hotel he's surprised to find her already out on the pavement.
"Cloud Strife!" Esmeralda waves and jingles over to him. She has donned shoes to go outside but all her anklets and bangles are still there. There seem to be even more today. "I got anxious when you were so late. I thought you might've gotten lost. Hey, why so glum? And where's that bird of yours – a chocomocha, was it? Surely you weren't planning on crossing the city on foot all by yourself with my dresses."
"He's been stolen," Cloud says miserably.
Esmeralda looks shocked as he relates his morning and why he's late. "But the Cathedral has never had ostriches or horses thieved from it before. That's why I recommended it, since you said your choco-thingy is one of a kind."
"The Lawmen said it was like whoever broke in left everything neat and tidy as an ironic gesture. It was as though nobody broke in at all, except for the fact my chocobo was gone – no point of entry, nobody saw anything, nobody even heard them leading him away. The bird just … vanished. It could've been magic, except there were shield charms in every corner of the stable to stop that sort of thing."
Esmeralda stares hard at the elaborate spires and domes of the hotel roof, her brow furrowing. "A theft that doesn't look one has even taken place, a thief who comes and goes like they're invisible, a rare thing stolen from a supposedly impenetrable place, all that security … a proper challenge …" She breaks her gaze and turns to Cloud, expression far grimmer than he expects. "I think I might know who took it. C'mon."
"What? But how -"
"Call it a gut feeling."
"But shouldn't we tell those Lawmen?"
"They wouldn't do anything, and anyway, my suspicions are the kind law-keepers have no business knowing. Neither should you, for that matter." She looks speculatively at him. Then she seems to come to a decision, because she grabs his hand and drags him along the street. "Follow me." Her grip is like iron and her pace emphasises the speed long legs can achieve.
Cloud can only think Like I have any choice?
The blindfold is difficult to get used to, but at least it's not too tight or scratchy. It's actually one of the scarves Esmeralda keeps around her waist. It smells faintly of cinnamon and goat.
"Mind the step."
"What step?" Cloud falls over it. "Ow!"
"I said to mind out." Esmeralda's voice holds a tinge of irritation. She's been getter tenser the further they go, as though she fears what they're heading towards. Still, she keeps going and Cloud gamely follows.
He's not sure why he trusts Esmeralda to lead him this way, but something about her inspires confidence. He doesn't think she's taking him into a pit of vipers, or about to hand him over to a cult of cannibals. She sort of reminds him of Tifa, actually. They share the same mulish-but-principled attitude towards injustice, and the same impulse to run at it rather than wait for someone else to take care of things. Diplomacy with fists. Can Esmeralda land a punch as well as Tifa?
Wherever they are, it's cold and dank. Cloud can hear rushing water from somewhere, and the scritch-squeak of rats. He suspects they're underground, since Esmeralda brought him down a ramp not long after she applied the blindfold, grasped his wrist and asked that he just trust her.
"I can't give you any good reason to trust me other than my promise that this is for a very good reason, and I won't let any harm come to you."
Now Cloud surmises they're traipsing through some sort of sewer system. He wonders whether this was such a good idea.
Esmeralda stops suddenly. "Damn."
"What? What's going on?"
"I think we've been spotted."
Rapid footsteps fade into the distance.
"Is that bad? Do we keep going?"
"We keep going." New levels of grim creep into her tone, turning it steely. Cloud tries to match this voice with the bright-eyed woman who quizzed him about his friends and ate sandwiches with him yesterday. "I suppose it was stupid to think we could get in undetected. We'll know soon enough whether we're welcome or not." She squeezes Cloud's wrist a little tighter. "Just for the record, and I don't mean to scare you, but if I say run, you have my permission to take off that blindfold and run like you're going through Hell in gasoline britches."
"What'll happen if I don't?"
"You don't want to know."
Cloud's throat tightens, but he squares his shoulders. "I can fight."
"Probably you can, but can you fight dirty?"
They continue on, away from the rushing water and the skulking smell of sewage. Cloud can still hear rats though. Their numbers increase with every passing minute. He feels enquiring eyes watching them, and even though it's impossible, a part of him is convinced he can hear hundreds of twitchy little noses quivering. Cloud being Cloud, he doesn't fear the rats, but their presence unnerves him because he can't see them and has to work just by his other senses. He feels vulnerable and wishes he'd listened when Leon told him to carry blades strapped to his wrists, or when Zack suggested he ask Tifa for extra hand-to-hand lessons.
"Here we go," Esmeralda suddenly hisses. "Brace yourself."
"Halt! Who goes there?"
"Just two lost souls looking for refuge."
"How did you find this place?"
"It's a sewer. You don't find sewers, you find yourself in them."
"Esmeralda?"
She breathes a sigh of relief. "So you're old enough for guard duty now, Kytes? Time flies when you're having fun. Or not, if you're standing where I'm standing. Put that away before you hurt yourself."
Cloud tenses, but hears a childish chuckle and the distinctive sound of a blade sliding back into its sheath. "You really have been away a long time if you haven't heard of my knife-fighting skills. I'm the best in all – hey wait, who's that with you?"
"This is Cloud Strife. He's the reason I'm down here. We need to see the Thief King."
A sharp intake of breath. "You brought an outsider into the tunnels and you want to take him to the Thief King?"
"Is there an echo in here?"
"But he's an outsider, Es!"
"Don't call me Es. The Thief King has something that belongs to him."
"What?" The speaker's raw incredulity makes the air smoulder. "Are you serious? You've been living with the outsiders for too long, Esmeralda. You're starting to think like them."
"When I start trusting the pigs you can worry about me going native. Until then, are you going to grant my request or not? And let me remind you that I have immunity and guaranteed safe passage down here, which I'm extending to apply to Cloud as well."
"You can't do that -"
"Fine, go and tell him you wouldn't let me in and we'll see what he says."
There's a long pause in which Cloud wonders whether the speaker has left as silently as he appeared. "I take it back," the voice eventually says. "You are still the same Esmeralda."
"Thank you, Kytes."
"Don't thank me; just get me a raincoat so I don't get covered in blood when the Thief King sees what you've brought with you."
"He's exaggerating," Esmeralda whispers to Cloud.
Cloud is only slightly reassured as they move off again, following their new guide – and guard.
They're led down a long, winding tunnel, and down a set of roughly cut steps. He stone is covered in something slimy that makes Cloud skid. Esmeralda grabs him so hard she leaves bruises. She's much stronger than her appearance suggests. Cloud's feet keep skidding out from under him and a second set of hands take his other arm.
"Outsiders," the mysterious Kytes says with disgust.
Cloud makes a special effort to stay upright after this. Kytes sounds like a kid. Being belittled by him stirs Cloud's self-respect like a metal pole inserted into his spine.
Finally they pass through a narrow entrance. Coarse stone scrapes Cloud's left shoulder and cheek. Then the feeling of being in a wide open space assaults him. Their footsteps echo and there's the kind of silence that only comes from a lot of people suddenly not saying anything.
Cloud swallows. "Esmer-"
"What the hell are you playing at, Kytes?" hisses someone – a girl, not very old judging by her voice.
"Hey, don't look at me, they have immunity."
"They?"
Another voice joins in, and then another, and another. "No outsider is allowed immunity."
"Not unless the Thief King himself says so."
"Move aside, move aside, I so wanna see this."
"Is that Esmeralda?"
"Wow, she's beautiful."
"Don't get on her bad side, or she'll high-kick you into a wall."
"That's just rumour. She only high-kicks when she dances."
"Tell that to the last guy who pulled his teeth from the brickwork."
"She once slapped the Thief King."
"No!"
"Never!"
"She wouldn't still be alive."
"I'm telling you, it's true."
"Who's that kid with her?"
"That's not a kid, that's a man."
"That's an outsider."
"Quick, scatter!"
"Don't be a dummy, he's wearing a blindfold."
"Does that mean we can't kill him?"
The tumult makes Cloud dizzy. Not one voice belongs to an adult. He remembers what Cid said about the Thief King's child pickpocket empire, and wonders whether Cid knew just how many children are in it.
"Well, well, well," says quite different voice – slightly manic, each word rising in pitch like climbing a verbal staircase, but still recognisably adult. "Welcome to the Court of Miracles. To what do we owe the pleasure, Esmeralda?"
"Thief King?" Esmeralda says tightly. "So where's your throne?"
There's a sharp intake of breath from several places at her disrespectfulness.
"This entire cavern is my throne," the new speaker replies, completely unbothered. "You know I don't go in for that kind of gaudy bad taste. So tacky."
"You say that when you're wearing purple and yellow like they go together?"
"Touché. Your tongue is still as sharp as ever. Then again, I suppose where fashion's concerned you're the expert these days, aren't you? With your dinky little shop, and your dinky little customers, living your dinky little life, far away from all this."
"Give it a rest, Thief King." This time the sharp intake nearly pulls Cloud off his feet. "I'm here to parley."
"That's pirates, deary, not pickpockets. Pickpockets don't parley, they rob-and-run. They take-and-toddle. They steal-and-sprint. That doesn't lend itself to conversation."
"Pirates, pickpockets, thieves and tax collectors – they all take things that don't belong to them. And since when have you counted yourself as just a lowly pickpocket?"
"Touché again. Very well, I'll grant your parley, but you have to leave your pet here. My courtiers will look after him."
A ripple spreads across the room. The hairs on the back of Cloud's neck prickle.
Esmeralda's grip on his wrist tightens. "He comes with us."
"No."
"Yes."
There's no gasp this time. Everybody's too busy holding their breath.
Several long moments creep by, dragging themselves on their bellies using just their arms. Cloud can feel each one like it's an hour.
"All right," the Thief King suddenly sing-songs. "But only because if I deny you again you'll take your toys and leave, and the cavern will seem so dull without your beauty around to brighten it."
Esmeralda's grip tightens again, but this time she says nothing.
"Vaan?"
Vaan? Vaan? The honest boy who watched his chocobo yesterday? Cloud's anger, difficult to light, smoulders inside him. He was impressed with Vaan's honesty, but apparently he was only casing Cloud so he could come back later and steal the rooster. Of all the dirty little…
"Yes, Thief King?"
"Show Esmeralda and her outsider pet to the Lower Grotto. I'll pop along in a second."
"Yes, Thief King."
"Oh, and take Filo with you. She can fetch a few of those chocolates for them to nibble on while they wait." He chuckles. "Nibble-nabble-nubble, let's see what's the trouble. Nibble-nubble-nabble, now for all you rabble."
Cloud and Esmeralda are taken to a room that's warmer and less dank. Cloud sits on what feels like an enormous bean-bag. Tiny round chocolates are pressed into his hands by invisible fingers. Since he never had any breakfast he eats them, after first checking with Esmeralda that it's safe to do so.
"Yes, he's not a big fan of poisoning. Subterfuge, yes, but not cowardice."
"You seem to know the Thief King pretty well," Cloud says, conscious of the two other sets of ears in the room with them.
Esmeralda sighs. "I should do. I used to be one of his 'courtiers' – a part of his crew."
"You were a pickpocket?"
"Since I was twelve. All self-taught, though. I joined the Thief King when I was fifteen and the only other option was turning tricks. You don't get very far in Mosey City without money, family connections or qualifications, and I never had enough of any of those. I'd gone as far as I could go on my own. I wasn't a very good sneak-thief. Mostly I danced in the street and people threw coins, and Djali chewed through the bottoms of their bags while they were watching me. Even the stupid Lawmen got wise to the con in the end. The Thief King let me in and not only put a roof over my head and food in my belly, he also put me in touch with someone, who put me in touch with someone, who got me on the list of a private tutor who did philanthropic gestures like teaching street kids to read and write. I passed my exams a few years later and set myself up in my shop. End of story." She says this last part rather too determinedly.
"It doesn't sound like the Thief King was very happy about that."
"He wasn't. We have … some history. Here, have some more chocolates." She shoves them at him so roughly that he drops them all.
"I don't think any less of you for your history," Cloud says, misunderstanding her edginess.
"Oh, Cloud," Esmeralda says sadly, before she's interrupted by the sweep of someone entering the room.
"I have arrived!" the Thief King declares, like this is the best news since chocolate was invented. "Filo, bugger off. Vaan, you can stay. I have a feeling I know what this is about, and if I'm right (which I usually am), this is because of your sharp eyes and ears."
Cloud's fists clench. The chocolate he's holding squashes, covering his palm in caramel. I thought he was so honourable, giving me that money back and not letting me overpay him. I must be such a bad judge of character.
"I see senility hasn't set in." Esmeralda's voice is back to severe.
"Ah, fair maiden, you do wound me with your words. But fear not. I am made of sterner stuff than other mere mortals, for I am the Thief King, and I am marvellous."
Cloud can almost hear Yuffie's voice, mentally replacing 'Thief King' with 'Great Ninja Yuffie'. The effect is a little unsettling, since the Thief King is most definitely not a teenage girl.
"Get down from there."
"Why? The view is so much better from up here."
"I came here to talk to you."
"So talk away. We're talking right now."
Esmeralda sighs. "You stole Cloud's chocobo from the Cathedral Hotel last night."
"Guilty as charged. Or not, as the case may be. How do you come to this sterling conclusion?"
"Because I know you, and I know you couldn't resist a challenge like that with a pay-off like that. A one-of-a-kind bird locked in the most security-conscious hotel in the whole city? I'm impressed you managed it, but now the fun's over. Give it back."
"Make me."
"All right."
"Not in a fight, Esmeralda."
She goes very still beside Cloud. "I'm not coming back, Clopin -"
"Thief King while in company, pleaseandthankyou! It doesn't do to stand on ceremony. You sit on it instead. Ceremony is a warm comfort blanket."
"You know I can't live as a courtier anymore. I'm too old, for one thing. All courtiers past eighteen are encouraged to make their own way in the world and look out for the younglings."
"You'll always be a child at heart, Esmeralda."
"You know why I can't come back."
"Know? No. You never gave my offer a proper chance."
"I was flattered, but I couldn't become your queen."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not in love with you."
"Since when is marriage anything to do with love?"
Cloud feels very uncomfortable, like a spare part rattling around in the engine of one of Cid's Gummi Ships. The raw drama is extra awkward because of his blindness, but he doesn't dare remove the blindfold in case he, as an outsider, makes things worse for Esmeralda by taking liberties. He suspects he may only be in one piece right now because she stuck her neck out for him.
"You changed things between us," Esmeralda says wearily, as though she's said this before. "I couldn't go back to being just a part of your gang after you did that."
"After you did that. You rejected me, remember."
"I couldn't work as normal when I knew you didn't see me the same way as you saw everyone else. It made me uncomfortable whenever I had to be around you, especially since we worked so closely."
"Some people would find it flattering."
"I'm not some people."
A brief pause. Something thuds in front of them, making Cloud jump. He's aware of a body where there was no body before. The Thief King has jumped down from someplace to properly become part of the conversation.
"No, you're not," he says in an odd, almost regretful tone.
Vaan coughs. It doesn't sound like he's trying to break up the discussion, but that's what it does.
The Thief King turns brisk and perky again. "So tell me why, after all this time, and after all the pain and heartache and melodrama – which would make a wonderful piece of street theatre, by the way, if you're ever interested in coming back for a one-off performance. No? Well, anyway, after all that why should I do you any favours? Especially if the favour is actually for an outsider I don't even know."
"Because underneath that Thief King silliness, you're actually a man of honour."
"Compliments now! Flattery will get you most places, Esmeralda, but not this time. That bird is a rare prize indeed. And Madellaine seems quite taken with him, and he with her. They were getting cosy when I left them in the stable together. Why should I deny my beloved ostrich the love of her life?"
"You'll never be able to ride it aboveground. It's too distinctive. Even the Lawmen will recognise it. Keeping it cooped up down here would be cruel and that's not in your nature."
"It might be. You haven't seen me in a long time. People change."
"So did you become a despot while I was away?"
"Touché, touché and thrice touché. I've missed our healthy debates, Esmeralda."
"That's funny, I always thought we were arguing." Esmeralda sighs heavily. "I may not have seen you, but I know you've seen me. Luckily for you I presumed you were just making sure I was okay, not stalking me. Although hiding in shadows and watching me lock up the shop at night is pretty damn creepy, Cl-… Thief King. And don't think I didn't know about that mugger. You know, the one who was waiting for me to deliver my week's takings to the bank? The one who was mysteriously trussed up and left on the Lawmen's steps by somebody? Those aren't the actions of a cruel man."
"You're much more perceptive than I gave you credit for."
"And so are you. Give Cloud back his bird. You've shown you can best even the Cathedral Hotel and met the silly challenge you set for yourself. There's nothing left to prove."
"All good points, but they still don't tell me why I should give the creature back. I could sell it to a breeder as stud to create hybrids with chocobo brawn and an ostrich grace, or to a carnival as a curiosity. It'd still be able to run about aboveground and I'd make a tidy profit as well. That seems more appealing to me when I have so many mouths to feed."
"The children pay their own way."
"Not all of them. We've had quite a few babies and toddlers arrive with their elder brothers and sisters after that fire wiped out the tenements in Miracle Square."
"Oh. I didn't know that…"
"But you wouldn't, would you? You never call, never write, never send us cookies with a polite note. We're like the forgotten grandmother of your life, mouldering away in our Court of Miracles while you sew sequins onto silk aboveground."
"That's a low blow."
"You're a poet and you didn't know it."
"The safe houses are aboveground. You only bring the children down here when it's not secure up there -"
Suddenly there's a commotion from outside the little room. Cloud hears footsteps, and guesses Vaan has gone to investigate since he can hear the Thief King breathing nearby and feel Esmeralda's muscles tensed so hard they make the air around her vibrate.
"He's busy," Vaan's voice floats back, confirming the guess. "You'll have to speak to him later."
"I know who's with him in there, and I know why. I also know I have to speak with him now. It can't wait."
"Look, whatever it is -"
"This is all your fault in the first place, Vaan. You never should've told him about that bird. I know you were just trying to win his favour so he'll make you his Second in Command, but because of you a good and brave man has had a grave injustice committed against him."
"What are you talking about? He's an outsider -"
"Stop being so prejudiced. You're as bad as those Lawmen who say every thief is scum no matter what their situation. Now let me in before I just push past you and go in anyway. You know you can't hold me back."
More footsteps, and then Vaan's voice, louder and closer than before. "Quasimodo wants to see you, Thief King."
"I heard. No sense of subtlety, any of you. Well, what are you waiting for? Show him in!"
Cloud doesn't recognise the voice or the name that adds itself to the rapidly-becoming-crowded-so-that-even-a-blindfolded-person-can-tell room. Unlike Vaan or the Thief King, who stink of sewer water and ashes, or Esmeralda's goat-and-cinnamon scent, the newcomer smells of sawdust and something Cloud can't put his finger on. It reminds him of Merlin's house, especially the scrolls, books and bits of parchment he leaves any old place until someone trips over them.
"Hello, Esmeralda." The newcomer has a soft voice; one of those that instantly puts you at your ease. There's no unfriendliness, nor does it sound like there ever could be.
"It's been a while, Quasi," Esmeralda says quietly, and with such warmth that Cloud almost gets whiplash from the swift change of tone. Whoever this Quasimodo is, he's obviously very dear to her. "Too long. Of all the things I've missed about the Court of Miracles, you top the list."
"What am I, chopped liver?" the Thief King grumps.
"I've missed you too, Esmeralda. Right now, though, I'm here to do the same as you. Clopin, you have to give that chocobo bird back to this man."
"Thief King."
"The Thief King didn't give me shelter as a baby, Clopin did. To me, you will always be Clopin, and I know this man to be honest and true, so it doesn't matter if he knows your other name."
"And how do you know his nature when you've never met him before?"
A slight, awkward pause. "I have."
"Excuse me?"
"I've met him before. I went out yesterday."
"I have to wonder why you so enjoy playing with fire by not telling me when you're going to do that. You know I'll provide guards to keep you safe in public -"
"I wore a cloak and kept my face covered. I didn't plan the trip, it was spontaneous. I just … needed some fresh air. I spend all my days penned up in my workroom carving my figurines for the little ones to sell. Mostly I don't mind. I'm not a prisoner and I like being useful, since I can't pickpocket like the rest, and I'm so much older than them. Sometimes, though … sometimes I just need to see the sky. But yesterday I ran into trouble. Three men saw my face and attacked me for sport. This man here came to my rescue and drove them off. He defended me even though he didn't know who I was, not expecting any reward, and at great risk to himself since he didn't know whether they had weapons."
"How very altruistic of him," the Thief King says mildly. "A regular philanthropist."
"He's also not from this world, Clopin." Quasimodo adds, as though this is significant to the current situation. Cloud can't see how, and apparently neither can the Thief King.
"I know. I surmised as much from the 'one of a kind' thing concerning his big yellow bird. Plus he comes from Traverse Town. That place is a haven for strangeness, even compared to Mosey City. That bloody nosy wizard comes from Traverse Town."
"You, of all people, know what it's like to feel out of place; to feel like you don't fit in with regular people. You know what it's like for nobody to give you a break, and for selfish people to make your life more difficult than it has to be when you're already working so hard to make something of yourself – or to just plain survive."
"And yet I became Thief King from it." There's a dangerous edge to the man's voice, though his singsong manner of speech remains.
Cloud recalls what Cid said about the Thief King being ruthless and not above killing people to get what he wants. Then again he doesn't seen to have any magic, which was the other part of Cid's story, so maybe he was wrong about that bit too.
"Yes. Thief King, with all his waifs and strays who also need a break and someone to give it to them."
The implications of this don't ghost over the senses, settling into the brain where they can be processed and appreciated. They land like a lead weight in the middle of a rubber sheet, heavy and conspicuous. They change the shape of the silence that follows, transforming it from contemplative, to apprehensive, to expectant.
When the Thief King finally speaks again Cloud is startled. "Go on then, outsider-boy-man with the spiky hair like a wet cat in an electrical storm. Did you save Quasimodo yesterday?"
"I…" Cloud stutters, until Esmeralda nudges him in the side. He takes a breath to steady his voice. "I saved someone from three cowardly men who were ganging up on him. I don't know who it was. I never saw his face, and he left before I could check if he was okay."
"And do you want your bird back?"
"Very much."
"Why?"
Cloud gets the feeling this is some sort of test. 'Because it's mine' is what he wants to say, but common sense tells him this would be a Bad Idea, just like Zack's chilli-that-goes-all-the-way-up-to-eleven was a Bad Idea, and Yuffie's decision to eat nothing but picked onions, stinky cheese and saltbread for a week because she'd heard it'd make her breasts grow was a Very Bad Idea. He thinks carefully before replying.
"Because he's a bad-tempered rooster who'll eat your hand as soon as look at you and has a mean streak a mile wide. We have an understanding that keeps the rest of the population unharmed – he kicks the crud out of me and I feed him, water him, give him shelter, take care of him when he's ill, exercise him, and don't let my ninja friend spit-roast him over a bonfire when she's sick of eating soy."
The silence alters again, acquiring a surprised edging, like a lacy collar and cuffs on a black leather trenchcoat. Then the Thief King laughs. "Well put! Very well, Mister …"
"Cloud Strife."
"What an odd name. Never mind, I'm sure your mother meant well. You can have your big yellow bird back, Cloud Strife, as a thank you for saving my friend and for providing me with the first proper challenge of my skills I've had in a long time."
"Thank you."
Strong, incredibly wide hands haul him up by his shoulders. Cloud suddenly finds himself wrapped in a sawdusty hug. "Thank you. I never said it yesterday, but thank you."
"Uh, you're welcome." Cloud awkwardly raises a hand to pat Quasimodo on the back – awkwardly not because he's being hugged by another guy, but because Quasimodo is shorter even than him, and his shoulders slump like something heavy once dropped on one shoulder and left it dented.
"A regular hero of the hour," the Thief King chirrups. "Such joyful joy. Such elated elation. Such noble nobleness. I think I may very well be sick. Vaan, fetch me a bucket and a bird, in that order. Chop-chop, boy, we haven't got all day, and if you really do want to be my Second you need all the brownie points you can get."
Vaan scrambles. "Yes, Thief King."
To Be Continued …
Side-flings, Homages and Downright Rip-offs
Personally, I think any desire to be a Lawman or a politician should automatically ban you from becoming one."
-- The original comment about politicians is actually one of Billy Connolly's, but I wholeheartedly agree.
"So you're old enough for guard duty now, Kytes?"
-- Kytes was originally from Final Fantasy XII, where he was a street urchin who looked up to Vaan and also wanted to be a sky pirate someday (finalfantasy. wikia. com/wiki/Kytes).
"When I start trusting the pigs you can worry about me going native."
-- 'Pigs' being slang for police.
"Oh, and take Filo with you. She can fetch a few of those chocolates for them to nibble on while they wait."
-- Filo is Kytes's other half from Final Fantasy XII, where she lives in the Lowtown section of Rabanastre and leads her own gang of orphans (finalfantasy. wikia. com/wiki/Filo).
"And Madellaine seems quite taken with him, and he with her."
-- Madellaine was originally a character from the Disney direct-to-video sequel The Hunchback of Notre Dame II (en. wikipedia. org/wiki/Hunchback (underscore) of (underscore) Notre (underscore) Dame (underscore) (1996_film)#Sequels_and_spin_offs).
"The Thief King didn't give me shelter as a baby, Clopin did. To me, you will always be Clopin, and I know this man to be honest and true, so it doesn't matter if he knows your other name."
-- In the Disney film, Clopin Trouillefou is the mischievous leader of the gypsies, and acts as narrator for the beginning of the story. In Victor Hugo's original novel, however, he's a much more sinister and tragic character. He's known as the King of Truands (the thieves, beggars and criminals of Paris) and is secretly in love with Esmeralda, but loses her when she marries another man to save him from the hangman's rope after he discovers the Court of Miracles. Clopin is devastated that she had chosen someone else, especially an 'outsider', but he doesn't stop her. Near the end of the novel, Clopin receives news of her upcoming execution for the framed murder of Captain Phoebus. In order to rescue her, he rounds all of the Truands to go to Notre Dame Cathedral, where she has already been rescued and is being protected by Quasimodo. Clopin and the Truands don't know this, however, and think Quasimodo is holding her captive ready to be executed. In response to their assault on the cathedral, Quasimodo retaliates with stones, timber and molten lead. Clopin dies during the attack, although Hugo does note that he dies 'courageously'.