Maura does not expect her mother to simply disappear from her life. After the conference, Constance had returned to charity work based in Rome, and Maura had done her best to put their painful interactions out of her mind.
She has almost succeeded in this task, so as she exits the elevator and heads towards the bullpen, she nearly falls over when she hears that familiar cold voice.
"Officer, you can't bar me from seeing Maura, after all you're the one who called me."
Maura stops just outside the hallway, feeling her heart leap into her throat. She is about to run around the corner, when Jane's voice makes her freeze. "I called you three months ago. You lost the privilege of seeing her when you didn't get on a plane immediately," Jane's voice is low and dangerous. "And it's Detective."
"I was not aware that there was a deadline on your invitation, detective, Just as I was unaware that I needed an invitation to see my own child."
"Well nothing else seems to bring you around," Jane hisses, and Maura has to put her hand against the wall, trying to calm her nerves. "Maura was held hostage, she was shot, she had to watch me almost bleed out in front of her," Jane's voice shakes just the tiniest bit, but Maura cannot tell if it's from anger or from memories. "I called you thinking you might want to come be there for her. Support her during her recovery."
There is a short pause. "Why," Constance's voice is dripping with anger, though she's cleverly disguised it as curiosity, "Would I come and support her, when she is still in the relationship that nearly got her killed?"
Out of sight, Maura literally sees red as her anger overflows. She moves to round the corner, to give her mother a piece of her mind, but a hand on her upper arm restrains her. She turns to see Frankie.
"Frankie, wha-"
But he shakes his head once, "Stay here, Maur." he says quietly, giving her shoulder a squeeze. "Jane can handle herself...listen."
Sure enough, Jane's voice echoes around the corner, so ice cold that Maura thinks if she were to breathe out, her breath would steam. As it is, she can't breathe. Jane's words have stolen all her air.
"If you think that I'm going to let you go downstairs and try to bully your daughter into living by your arbitrary and capricious standards, then you have another thing coming. And it's not because I'm frightened that she will give in, and jump on a jet with you tonight. It's because I know that she will tell you no, and you will express your... extreme disappointment, and she won't say anything to you because you two have never said anything real to each other in your lives, but it will hurt her. And Maura is smart, and kind, and loving, and she has been through more hurt in the last six months than I care to share with you, so if I can spare her the knowledge that her mother only bothered to come check on her now? Then you can bet your high end ass that that's exactly what I'm going to do...Frost!" Jane barely stops to breathe. "Can you make sure that Mrs. Isles is returned safely to the car or limousine that deposited her here?"
"With pleasure," Frost's voice is practically dripping with glee. "Right this way...ma'am."
"Constance," Maura hears Jane's boots take three slow steps. "You come back here when you want to tell her you love her for who she is, and I will gladly forget any insult you have ever thrown at me. But until then...you can get the fuck out." Jane accentuates her swear, as if in defiant rebellion to Maura's rule, and the doctor has to hide a smile behind her hand.
She looks up at Frankie, who is smiling broader than she's ever seen, and not bothering to hide it.
"See?" he says letting her go.
Maura nods, still reeling. Yes, she does.
"Jane!" Cavenaugh's voice rings through the precinct.
"Sir."
"We've got a missing kid. Father's requesting you specifically. I think you know him..."
"Yes sir. Let me just get Dr. Isles and we'll..."
Maura rounds the corner at the mention of her name, "I'm here, Jane."
Jane's smile is genuine, but fleeting, because at that moment a man bursts through the front doors of the office,
"JANE? JANIE?"
Jane whirls, her eyes wide and disbelieving "Dan? It's your-" She glances at Cavenagh. He nods curtly.
"Jane...my baby is gone. She's gone. You have to help me. You have to."
Find that girl, will you? Don't let those parents go through this.
...
She finds Jane in a cathedral four blocks from the precinct. For a moment she stands in the back of the church, wondering if she should should intrude. The detective has her head bowed, resting on her clasped hands. Her eyes are closed.
Maura has not seen Jane pray until today. The one time she accompanied the Rizzoli's to church, Jane had spent the entire time staring at the ceiling, looking completely disinterested.
Maura has almost made up her mind to leave, when Jane moves. She sucks in a deep, shuddering breath, and her hands un fold to rub at her face and Maura changes her mind, walking down the aisle and slipping into the pew beside Jane.
"I should be looking for Mandy," Jane says without opening her eyes. Without moving.
"There's no new developments." Maura says quietly, running her hand over the back of Jane's neck.
"How did you find me?"
"I saw you praying at your desk earlier. Deductive reasoning." And I know you, she thinks.
Jane rolls her shoulders, trying to unlock some of the tension, "I like it when you know me," she says, and Maura smiles, slipping her hand into Jane's hair, massaging the back of her head. They sit like that for a while, not speaking.
"What did Frankie say Pop said? When I was unconscious?" she asks suddenly.
Maura frowns, She'd tried to keep Frankie and Tommy from telling Jane about Frank's visit, but Tommy had let it slip at a Sunday dinner, and Jane had eventually wormed the entire story out of Frankie, hugging him tightly when he'd confessed to punching his father. "Jane, what does it matter what your father said? His words come from a place of fear and deep rooted-"
"That God was punishing me for my lifestyle?" Jane speaks as if she hasn't heard Maura's reply, and her eyes still don't open.
Maura takes pulls her hand away from Jane's neck, "If there is a God, Jane, I don't believe he would be so spiteful as to punish you for who you love. All the evidence supports-"
But Jane unclasps her hands and looks at Maura, and her chocolate eyes are swimming in tears.
Maura's eyes widen in alarm. "Jane. There's no way you can blame yourself for Mandy's disappearance. It's completely-"
"I just want to know why all these things happen, Maura." Jane says, and her voice breaks a little, "I want to know why my father and your mother don't accept how much we love each other. Why they can't see that I would...that you would do anything for...that we..."
"Honey-"
"I want to know why Sophie James' father didn't get to hug his little girl one last time and tell her that he loved her, and have her look back at him and say, 'I love you too, daddy.'
I want to know why Marino killed those people, why That woman would fake a pregnancy and kill a woman to be a mother... I want."
"Jane." Maura puts her hand on the brunette's back as she leans forward, resting her head on the pew in front of them, her eyes closing again. Maura rubs in tiny circles into Jane's back, feeling the knots of tension rippling just under the skin.
"Just give me a reason," Jane says, her voice so quiet that Maura has to lean closer to be able to hear her. "Just give me a reason...give me..." she opens her eyes, as if looking for something.
Maura puts her hands on Jane's shoulder and pulls her upright, turning her a little so that they are face to face.
"Sometimes bad things happen," she says softly, and her hands slips down Jane's side to let her fingers play over the spot where Jane's scar is. "Sometimes awful things happen, and there's no explanation for why. God-if he's real- doesn't make them happen, and he's certainly not punishing anyone. They are a direct result of brain chemistry. Of human nature."
Maura reaches out and puts her hand under Jane's chin, tugging gently so that she can look into Jane's eyes. "I heard what you said this morning...to my mother," she says, and Jane's eyes widen in fear.
"Maur, I didn't-" But Maura shakes her head, "shh. It was one of the best moments of my life."
Maura smiles, but Jane still looks unconvinced.
I can tell you my reason, sweetheart," she whispers.
"You're my reason. For everything. You're the reason I don't fall apart. You're the reason I come into work-"
Jane makes a sound of disbelief and tries to look away, but Maura doesn't let her go. "No, Jane. If you weren't here, I would get up and go to my job, and finish my reports, and hand them in. But I wouldn't laugh, and I wouldn't feel, and I wouldn't care. You are the reason for those things. The reason it means something to me."
Maura uses her thumb to wipe a tear off of Jane's cheek. "You are my reason."
Jane puts her hand over Maura's on her cheek. "Maybe that's why these things happen," Maura continues after a second, "So we can find our reason."
Jane looks up into the high arching rafters of the church and then back down. Her shoulder's relax a little.
"Maura?"
"Yes?"
"I love you so much that it's like breathing. You're my reason too."
"I'm glad you told me. Even if I can read it in your face."
"Maura?"
"Yes Jane?"
"I want to kiss you... Just for a second...but I don't want to do it here."
Some time after the doctor had checked over the little girl and the detective had returned her to her parents, they had come home and shed their titles, slipping into pajamas and domesticity simultaneously and easily. It is not so seamless and smooth on all nights, or even on most nights, but this night is rare and easy and they take it, reveling.
Jane leaves Detective at the door, shutting her gun and her badge away in the drawer in the front hall; losing two inches as she kicks out of her boots, and her attitude as she shrugs out of her blazer.
Maura leaves Doctor in the shower, washing away the distinctive odor of the morgue, gaining confidence with each deep breath she takes under the steamy flow.
They meet in the kitchen. Jane sits on the counter, her hair long and wild, licking chocolate sauce off a spoon.
Maura rolls her eyes, and swats at her girlfriend until she wriggles down, pretending to huff. She offers the blonde her spoon, still half full, and looks surprised when Maura accepts. Her eyes widen as Maura sucks the spoon into her mouth, her hazel eyes bright and seductive, never leaving Jane's face. It's one of Maura's favorite things: to watch her girlfriend's expression change from playful, to surprise, to arousal. The dark eyes flicker, understanding, and as soon as the spoon has left Maura's mouth, Jane replaces it with her lips.
They are exhausted, but it is the good type of exhausted, the kind that loosens the joints and makes crawling into bed a vacation. She lets her hands wander lazily over her girlfriend's body, letting the tension build.
Jane pushes Maura's shirt up over her head, and then, with one dazzling, wicked smile that does nothing to stop the beat building inside the blonde, disappears down the bed to rid Maura of her bottoms.
"We won again, Jane," Maura mumbles, as Jane slips her hips out of the sweatpants she just put on.
"I'm still playing." the growl comes from her navel, followed by three quick kisses on her hip bone.
She sucks in a deep breath as Jane moves back up her body, suddenly shirtless, and pale and gorgeous. She presses her lips to Maura's neck, her fingers searching, teasing, asking.
Maura nods, wrapping one leg around the thin, muscular waist above her. "It's okay." she says, when Jane continues to hold out. "I want to."
Jane presses into her, and they both gasp, Maura letting her breath out in a sort of breathy moan, and the brunette begins to move.
"Please, God, Jane...put more...put your...God."
She feels Jane smile against her temple, "I thought I was your reason," she whispers, "but you seem to be calling for the deities. Should I stop and see if they answer you?"
Maura moans as Jane's hands leave her, and she begins to pull away. "No, Go-no, just...can you? Please? I need..."
Jane giggles, "You're never this inarticulate, doctor...are you feeling ill?" Maura groans in frustration again and bites down on Jane's neck, trying to get her to obey. The woman above her tenses slightly, and Maura feels her breathing pick up, but she does not comply.
"nnnngh, Jane."
"You told me not to treat you as though you would shatter. I'm only respecting your wishes."
Maura shudders. "Jane...i need...I need..."
"tell me," Jane says, and Maura can tell by her voice that she is close. that this time she will satisfy.
"I need you." she says, panting as Jane presses one finger into her.
"Again," Jane demands.
"I need you...God, Jane..please. I need you so badly."
Two fingers. Jane twists once and Maura explodes underneath her, dragging Jane over the edge with her as her fingernails scrape up her sides.
"I love you, Maura," Jane tucks her long body into her favorite spot by her girlfriends side.
"I love you too," Maura says, closing her eyes. Her last thought, before sleep claims her consciousness is a prayer, though she doesn't register it as such. She barely registers it at all.
I pray it stays this good after the children come.
Holy moly! so many new followers and so many new reviewers. I have to say I never thought I'd get 100 followers let along 200. I nearly stabbed myself with my pencil this morning out of shock, when I logged on and saw.
Davislp, and the others who've asked, I always thought Maura would have given Jane her first orgasm? but not taken her virginity...sry that was unclear. crispyknight: I love korsak in the show...but I just can't find a voice for him in my head. I've sort of replaced him with Frost...I'm sorry if you miss him :( I thought it was better to give him a smaller role than to write him so badly you want to punch me...those are the only options. :) skellagerardway, jobee, friendsfan,fergz, ts. you guys are becoming like old friends, and I wait for your feedback like you wait for my updates. y'all are awesome. Fallen Austin, you'll get to make your final decision on tommy in about two chapters. hope you can wait that long...:)
valeria, marcia metz, so nice! welcome and thank you and as always
happy reading.
t.c.