Tansy Corrects Starkit's Prophecy

by Empress Tansy

Yes, Tansy has joined the "Starkit's Prophecy" bandwagon. Not quite a repost, but not quite a rewrite, I am taking xdarkrosesx's infamous tale and inserting my own often sarcastic flair to it. Disclaimer: Tansy does not own Starkit's Prophecy, nor does she want to. Read and enjoy the terrible tale without losing your brain cells!

35. Brambleclaw is Unreasonably Reasonable

Chapter 35 (but labelled #333)

New Lives

There were three kits there. One of them was really fluffy and golden-colored, one was bright orange, and one was a tiger. Yes, Starpaw gave birth to actual tiger. The narrator is absolutely amazed that a little cat could have a tiger cub as a child. Even though she was in intense pain, Starpaw smiled at her kits.

"What are you going to call them? It's not my choice. You're the one who actually gave birth to them!" Jazzstar meowed, trying to remind the protagonist that she couldn't possibly be the kits' father and really didn't want to take on that role.

"Hm..." Starpaw murmured, thinking for a moment. "I think I'll the golden one DaFluffykit, the orange one will be Firekit, and the tiger will be Tigerkit, obviously."

"Gasp!" the entire Clan gasped.

Brambleclaw, who had somehow magically come back to life, stalked up the purple apprentice. "How can you name one Tigerkit?!" he yowled. "Don't you know everything my father did? He tried to kill me and actually killed several other cats!"

"I know, but have you forgotten that he's also my dad?" Starpaw asked, apparently forgetting that her father was Tiggerstar, not Tigerstar. "Besides, I like the name."

The dark tabby tom sighed unhappily. "Okay. Fine. Do whatever you want," he mewed, turning to walk away. Starpaw wished Brambleclaw hadn't been so sensitive. The narrator, however, thinks Brambleclaw's reaction was completely reasonable. Tigerstar was an absolutely horrible cat who attempted to murder Bluestar and Firestar, had crippled Cinderpelt, actually murdered Brindleface, Runningwind, Redtail, and Gorsepaw, had been responsible for the deaths of Stonefur, every cat lost in the battle with BloodClan, and Swiftpaw, and had been responsible for cats' deaths even after he was dead. He had even tried to brainwash poor Brambleclaw into turning evil. The villain's son had every right to be upset over the name of Starpaw's son.

"I like the names," Jazzstar meowed, licking Starpaw on her head. "They are beautiful kits."

"I know," Starpaw giggled. "And will will love them forever and ever."

The narrator will now attempt to read Jazzstar's mind:

Yeah right, thought Jazzstar. I'll pretend I love them just until Hawkfrost or Ashkit admit that they are the kits' true father.