Sapphire
Daddy left me in town, a crisp 20-dollar note nestled in my pocket, telling me to spend it on something loud, brightly coloured, full of swear words and guaranteed to piss my mother off. I watched him drive over, waving as he turned the corner and sighed, smiling. He had made me feel so much better. As I walked towards the CD store, I thought about Frank and what to do about him. However happy I was, it wouldn't compare to how happy I would be when I was with Frank again.
I didn't care about that girl (not slut!), she was out of my picture. I always got what I wanted, and this time I wanted Frank. Just thinking his name made my skin tingle, my heart do that flippy thing I never thought really worked. It even made it hard to breathe.
I felt like a character in one of my Fanfics…
Everything was perfect for me. Everyone was smiling, everything was glowing. Life seemed wonderful when you're in love. I sang his name over Andover in my head, making my spine tremble and my hands twitch uncontrollably. I almost laughed out loud, thinking of every crazy stunt he'd put me through and every dumb thing we'd ever done together. Every revenge, every punishment. Everyday of our lives had been another perfect day with the man I loved and I'd never realised it.
No wonder I'd never felt anything for anyone else!
Did the others see it? I wondered. Did Gee and Mikey and Ray know how much I loved him? They'd never said anything, I wondered if they'd noticed or not.
Frank Frank Frank
His name brought about another round of delightful tingles and melting eyes. Ah, he made me want to lay down on the grass and roll around in the daisies, to jump around in fountains and scream his name at the top of my lungs. I wanted to just stay there and thin about him.
I didn't care where my feet took me; I was skipping and floating in my head. I didn't look around me, merely admired everything I passed. Everything seemed shiny and new, covered in sparkles from the rain in the night. Soon I was walking through a place I loved to come with Gee to be all deep and meaningful. The graveyard.
It was huge and green, the grass long and wet. The trees hung over the crumbling headstones like bentback mourners, trailing their leaves over the remains of long dead corpses. Flowers covered the earth with riots of colour that begged me to stop and smile at them. Ivy trailed around the tombs, making the area so wonderfully beautiful it took my breath away. I wished Frank was with me to see everything like this.
I just wished Frank was with me.
I wanted him so much, all I could do was sit and sing. Logical? Not at all…
"Hello
there, the angel from my nightmare,
The
shadow in the background of the morgue,
The
unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We
can live like Jack and Sally if you want
Where
you can always find me
And
we'll have Halloween on Christmas
And
in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll
wish this never ends
Where
are you and I'm so sorry
I
cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight
I
need somebody and always
This
sick strange darkness
Comes
creeping on so haunting every time
And
as I stared I counted
The
webs from all the spiders
Catching
things and eating their insides
Like
indecision to call you
And
hear your voice of treason
Will
you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop
this pain tonight
Don't
waste your time on me you're already
The
voice inside my head
I
miss you, miss you
Don't
waste your time on me you're already
The
voice inside my head
I
miss you, miss you,"
I might have asked myself, why didn't I go to his house then and there? Why did I stay in the graveyard all afternoon, admiring everything from the point of view of someone deeply and madly in love? Why didn't I go to the man I loved and hold him in my arms?
Why didn't I, when I could've saved us so much pain.