Chapter Thirty-Six
You're not alone
Donatello blinked several times as the blurriness filled his eyes, in front of him, he could see a grey shape.
"Donatello..." he heard the voice of Splinter enter his ears "Donatello...can you hear me?"
Donatello groaned a little and he slowly shifted his head.
"Master...Splinter..." he croaked "I...I...what happened to me?"
"You collapsed my son..." Splinter said gently "You collapsed in your laboratory."
Donatello swallowed hard, it was starting to come back to him now, he started to remember walking into his laboratory and seeing Monalisa reading his laptop, he had shouted at her, angry she had invaded his privacy then seeing her terrified face and wide eyes as she tried to explain why she was there and pleading with him to calm down before he had started to feel ill then all had gone black.
"Mona!" Donatello cried trying to sit up "Where's Mona!"
"Hush my son!" said Splinter soothingly "Mona is fine...she is with your other brothers...when you collapsed she rolled you onto your side so you would not choke."
"Mona!" Donatello struggled to sit up despite Splinter's pleas to stay laying down.
"Mona!" Donatello cried out "What have I done! I...I saw her in my laboratory! I...No! I've hurt her!"
"Don't!" Splinter barked in a panicked tone "Don't you'll hurt yourself! Just calm down!"
Tears streamed from Donatello's eyes as he remembered Mona's terrified face as he confronted her, he looked at his hands, he had grabbed Mona and continued to yell at her, had he hurt her? If he did, he was disgusted at himself for laying a hand on his beloved sister.
"I've hurt Mona!" Donatello wept "I didn't mean to...I'd never lay a finger on her! She's my adopted sister! No! She IS my sister!"
"Donatello!" Splinter said sternly "You were not yourself, and Mona is fine...she is with Raphael and your other brothers...they're all worried about you..."
Donatello ran his hands over his head and exhaled as he tried to calm himself. Placing a comforting paw on his son, Splinter could feel him sweating and heat generating off his body.
Just then, Leonardo came in with the others, all looking relieved that Donatello was awake, though Mona and Michaelangelo had tears streaming from their eyes.
Mona walked over first and instantly stood by Donatello.
"Oh Don, Thank God you're alright!" she said "I thought I was going to loose you right there!"
Donatello looked at Mona and before anyone could do or say anything, the brainy turtle threw his arms around Mona and pulled her close, fresh tears streaming from his eyes.
"Mona...I..I'm so sorry..." he wept "I...I hurt you...your arms...are they...?"
"No..." said Mona comfortingly "You didn't lay a bruise on me...it wasn't you...it was the drugs..."
"How could I have been so reckless!" Donatello wailed "I'm insane! I...I've caused nothing but pain!"
"Don't talk like that Don!" said Mona lifting her head from Donatello's shoulder and gently loosening her grip on him so she could look him in the face.
"You have suffered far worse than any of us did when the Foot held us Captive..." Mona said "And if there is anyone to blame for your insanity it's Dr Arden."
Donatello looked up at his sister, his face had calmed and he started to relax slightly at her words.
"Dr Arden was the one who did all of this..." said Mona "He tortured us, tried to rip out Pandora from my womb, you are not to blame in any of this!"
"Monalisa is correct..." said Splinter "Dr Arden has corrupted you Donatello, his torture, his experiments and his evil ways have turned you from the turtle you once were."
"And we won't let him do it again Don..." said Mona softly "That's a promise. You're not alone."
Donatello said nothing but lowered his head, Mona instantly placed her forehead on top of his head in a way to comfort him then slowly stepped back.
As soon as she moved away, Michelangelo ran over, he had handed Pandora to Raphael and he held his older brother close and wept.
"Please don't do that Don!" he said "I love you bro! I'd be lost without you!"
Donatello hugged Michaelangelo close to him and wept also.
When Leonardo had left the medical room he had informed the others that Donatello had awakened, yet he spoke nothing of the experiments Donatello had been doing on himself as he didn't want Raphael and Michaelangelo confronting Donatello about it whilst he was still in his fragile state.
After Michaelangelo and Donatello separated their hug, Raphael walked over with Pandora and gently placed the baby in Donatello's arms.
"Heya little geisha..." Donatello cooed as he gently tickled his niece under the chin and Pandora gurgled before placing her tiny paw on his finger and grasped it.
"She's been worried about you too Don..." said Raphael "She was wailing earlier when you collapsed."
Donatello swallowed hard and pulled Pandora close to him, and the baby reptile just gurgled more before snuggling close to his plastron.
"We're just glad you're ok bro..." said Raphael as he embraced Donatello, being careful not to squeeze little Pandora between them.
Splinter watched happily as his sons and daughter embraced Donatello grateful that he was ok.
Now he needed to speak to Donatello alone and talk about his condition.
"My children..." he said softly "I wish to talk with Donatello in private. Your brother and I have a lot to discuss."
The other turtles and Mona looked worried and Raphael gently took Pandora from Donatello's arms.
"Ok Sensei..." said Leonardo "We shall leave you two to talk..."
"Thank you Leonardo..." said Splinter as the eldest turtle lead everyone outside. As the others left, Splinter gave him a nod implying that he was allowed to tell Michelangelo and Raphael about Donatello's experiments.
Leonardo nodded back in agreement, he wasn't going to hide anything, but he was worried how the other turtles would take it, knowing their brother was hurting himself.
As soon as Splinter and Donatello were alone, Splinter took Donatello's paw in his own and held it.
"My son..." he said softly.
"Master...I..." Donatello stammered "I just...I'm sorry...I..."
"Donatello..." said Splinter silencing his brainy son "Monalisa told me what happened in the laboratory, and she doesn't not blame you for what happened, and neither do I."
Donatello hugged himself tightly as the images of Mona pleading with him before he collapsed ran through his brain.
"We were all badly wounded in our last encounter with the Foot, you have suffered more than the rest of us," Said Splinter "You were subjected to brutal torture and forced to watch us suffer if you did not give in to Arashi and Dr Arden's cruel demands."
Donatello remembered back at the farmhouse when he had poured everything out in the barn.
"What choice did I have?" he asked, "What fucking choice did I have?"
Splinter winced slightly as Donatello cursed, but he placed his paw on his son's shoulder, he needed to let it all out.
"I wanted to take neither choice." Donatello choked "I couldn't be broken under torture, but seeing you all tortured, unless I performed surgery on my sister! Who could go through I went through! All the while...I wanted to slit my own throat with the scalpel than hurt Mona or let you all be tortured!"
Splinter sighed.
"Dr Arden is a dishonourable creature, Donatello," he said "And his medical procedures have proved cruel and vicious...And Arashi himself is no different if not worse than Shredder himself." he shuddered slightly as he remembered their past enemy.
Donatello bit his lip as he felt everything start to pour out, everything from the torture he went through to the experiments he began to perform.
"I used myself as a guinea pig!" he said "Who or what else could I perform them on? I've tried to find antidotes for the different serums to help in combat. I don't want my family to fall victim to Dr Arden's horrifying attacks and experiments."
Splinter sighed as he listened to Donatello pour everything out, the brainy turtle had been so bottled up and now the cork had been loosened.
After a while, Donatello stopped speaking, and he lowered his head and hugged himself tightly.
Splinter then pulled his son into a tight embrace as the turtle began to weep.
"You have suffered greatly Donatello..." said Splinter "And we will do everything in our power to help you heal again."
Meanwhile outside, Raphael and Michelangelo were shocked and horrified at what Leonardo told them.
Mona also confirmed Leonardo was telling the truth as she told them what she saw in his laboratory.
Michaelangelo had tears flowing again and Raphael was gripping his sai so tightly his knuckles were white.
"Raph!" Mona pleaded as she held Pandora close to her "Please don't be angry at Don..."
"It's not Donny I'm angry at!" Raphael retorted "It's that bastard Dr Arden! He made Donny like this! And I'm gonna make sure he pays the price!"
"Calm down Raph!" said Leonardo "This won't help Donatello, right now we need to be there for him! Dr Arden will pay for what he did, but we have to focus on Donny right now! Make sure he knows he's not alone in his fight...we all got to be there for him."
Raphael bit his lip and gritted his teeth trying to make his anger fade but it was difficult, every time he saw Dr Arden's scarred face in his head, he wanted to tear it apart with his bare hands.
Michelangelo said nothing but just sat there thinking about what his older brother was going through as tears soaked his mask and he clenched his fists.
Just then, Splinter appeared from the medical room and everyone jumped up.
"Master Splinter..." said Mona "How is he?"
"Is he ok?" asked Michelangelo nervously.
"Your brother is shaken, but he will be fine, my children. He's gone back to sleep." said Splinter "Right now he needs to rest and the drugs he has taken need to clear from his system."
Mona sighed sadly as she thought about Donatello and his battle within.
"We must do all we can to be there for him." said Splinter "He must take all the time he needs to rest and heal, mentally and physically."
The other turtles agreed.
"I shall continue to watch over him." Splinter continued.
"And I will take the next one." said Leonardo.
"We'll all take turns." said Raphael "We all want to make sure Donny's alright."
"It might take some time." said Splinter "But we will help your brother heal..."
So Donatello has spilled everything that happened to him and the rest of the family now know about his experiments and the extent of his suffering.
But they all wish to be there for him! How will his healing go? And what will the family plan to do next about Dr Arden and the Venomous Five.
Well stay tuned for more!