Disclaimer: I wish…enough said.
Edward Eric and his brother were just walking down the streets of central when they were confronted by someone they thought was died in both the FMA original series and have died already in this story. But due to the author and the current holiday she brought the idiot back and- "will you stop talking and get to the part where I beat him up!" Ed shouted to the forth wall. It couldn't be done right away seeing as how the village idiot wasn't bothering them…yet.
A pastor at the end of the road was handing out, you guessed it religious pamphlets, but instead of worship the lord or some other kinds of nonsense like that, it was THE HOLY COW. And he was splashing milk on random individuals who unfortunately had to walk pass him. It was Cornello.
"I thought you were dead, you religious begot!" Edward yelled at the injustice of the author.
"No, my child, I have seen the truth, and this should wash away your sins." The fake now real pastor said while pouring a large bucket of milk over Ed that appeared cutesy of the author.
"What are you talking about? How can you see the truth, you never done any real alchemy?"
"My child, our creator, the glorious cow have allowed me to see the truth, of my death, of the seven sins, of why you're a midget-" the village idiot stupidly said.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT A RELIGIOUS BOOK COULD CRUSH HIM, YOU FAKE!" and a punch was delivered to Cornello's face. Al led Ed away before he could do any real damage.
But as luck would have it, Ed and Al saw him around central, in the military base where mustang almost fried him…although no one know how he got in. even during their battle with a homunculi who was just a baffled as how he was alive.
His preaching wasn't like other pastors…others worshiped a god, he worshiped a cow specifically the ones in dairy farms….which explained why the dairy farmers in the rural areas of central found their cows missing. They spray holy water, Cornello sprayed milk of any and all kinds even yogurt if desperate…which was why Mustang found himself covered in yogurt and found a pastor in front of him preaching about some cow?
Envy was confused, didn't sir eat- a- lot ate this guy, and why was he splashing milk on everyone. And what in cow's name oh great he sounded like the village idiot to even if he didn't believe in anything, just Dante. The idiot even busted into their base…and Gluttony didn't want to eat him again because "He taste bad, Lust, I want someone easier to chew" the sin even pouted.
Thus somehow Cornello was alive through the first week at least. But he was developing stalker traits to the one and only chibi chan…or in his words "the savior of cowland"…really original? So Ed found the man splashing milk at him where ever he went, like the milk man incident….even ruining a report that he was in the middle of handing in to Mustang. Although they couldn't kill him…yet, so they locked him up and the sentence was "for disturbing military and alchemist affairs" but the idiot somehow got out.
After the two month of religious terror, Ed drank three gallons of milk through the pastor unwillingly. The author decided that she had enough of the Cornello know to her as the village idiot, and killed him with a heart attack, like Death Note and all was peaceful again.
"You can't play god you insolent child!" the village idiot yelled.
"Uhhh….why not this is my story? And do you even know what insolent means?" the author replied.
"You don't question the higher power, and I'm that connection the higher power, I know the truth!" the ego idiot yelled again.
"Why not question? I mean if you don't question then you're just being brain washed…look at what you did at Reole and the only ones that know the truth in FMA series are Ed and Al…they actually met him." The author dryly stated.
"The cow's the way, not the white blob you silly child." The stupid one stated.
"The cow's you're creator and she isn't really a cow you moron. And the truth and gate are the gods of your world that she created." The author stated again.
But alas the author couldn't talk to the idiot anymore because the truth and gate were offended at being called a white blob so his soul was damned the hell known as the gate.
"Well you finally did some good!" Edward for once was happy about the story.
"Full metal, she killed the man three times, do you really want her to be happy?" Mustang cautiously stated.
"Hey I don't like him; I like you and Ed especially when he's in chibi mode." Goes to cuddle Ed who was in chibi mode when hearing this.
Author's note: No one that anyone feels sorry for when he died, Cornello! Well one of many people that no viewer feels sorry for, someone even mentioned Hitler. Yay so many people guessing ^.^! And as for why the village idiot showed up, well its Easter so…in relation to religion, he's our man. And the cow's Arakawa Sama if you haven't read that chapter. Although they should have an eleventh amendment in the bible, thou shou not conform others to thou's deals and interpretation of this book. Really…I've met some crazy religious people.
DID YOU KNOW: America wants to illegalize abortions based on you guessed it, religion or Christianity specifically. They complain so much about other countries' human rights but if this law passes through, women would lose their right in at least sixteen states. See the problem? Women are human beings too aren't they?
Clue: ) Something easy since SOO many people are guessing^.^ . A theme song from one of the series. And the 100 th reviewer get to pick the chapter after next, I'll PM you and you get to pick a word or sentence and I'll try to come up with something :]