This chapter is dedicated to Cara – congratulations on reaching 4 years P-T and I hope your 4yr Studies went fantastically, to Sim – awesome exam results you smart cookie, to Em – I miss yooooooooooou, and to Jessie – hope you're enjoying your tea...I mean work :p
36 down, 4 and an epilogue to go (sniff)...
I hope you enjoy this chapter – it was a hard one for me to write...
Thanks for all the fantastic reviews! I have 6 chaps left including this one – let's see if I can break 1000 reviews!!! That would be UNREAL BANANA PEEL hehe!
Charli xox
Chapter 36
Gabriella awoke the next morning with a pair of warm arms wrapped snugly around her from behind. A smile quickly spread across her face as she turned in Troy's embrace and brushed her nose against his. His nose twitched slightly in his sleep and Gabriella giggled quietly, kissing his cheek softly.
Troy slowly opened his eyes and – as the room gradually came into focus – found a pair of chocolate brown eyes watching him intently. His face crinkled into a smile as he placed a kiss on the end of Gabriella's nose.
"Morning," he grinned sleepily.
"Good morning," Gabriella replied with a smiled, sliding her arms around Troy's waist and cuddling into him.
"What time is it?" he asked, kissing her forehead.
"Almost 9am."
"What time is your appointment with the radiation oncologist?"
"11.30am."
"Back to reality, huh?" Troy said gently, tracing her cheek with his index finger.
"Yeah..." Gabriella murmured. "It was so good to get away from everything last night. I had such a wonderful time...but it's back to earth with a bump this morning."
Troy held her to him and rubbed her back soothingly for a few moments. "It'll be ok – remember, every hurdle you jump is one hurdle closer to the finish line. Now...we should probably get up."
"Mmm...Just 5 more minutes?" Gabriella groaned and Troy laughed, holding her tight and peppering her forehead and cheeks with tiny kisses.
"Come on...I smell pancakes..." Troy told her with one last kiss on her cheek, throwing back the covers and climbing out of bed.
Gabriella rolled her eyes and laughed, following him out of her room and down the stairs, where Maria was humming to herself as she flipped a batch of perfect golden pancakes on the griddle.
"Morning, Mom," she looked up and smiled at the sound of her daughter's voice, greeted by the site of Gabriella and Troy wrapped around each other in the entrance to the kitchen. There was so little space between them, she could barely tell where one body finished and the other began.
"Good morning you two – did you sleep well?" she asked.
They both nodded. "Sleepyhead crashed out," Troy grinned, nudging Gabriella. "She was a dead weight on my arm all night. I still have pins and needles," he teased and Maria laughed as Gabriella poked him hard in the side.
"Don't take too long to get ready after breakfast," Maria said, placing the stack of pancakes on the table and gesturing for them to dig in. "I want to leave here in plenty of time in case we hit traffic. Troy do you want us to drop you home on the way, or are you coming with us?" she asked him - even though she knew the answer he would give.
"Co-in iv ou," he mumbled through a forkful of pancake, earning himself another poke from Gabriella.
Breakfast was finished, pyjama's were exchanged for clothes and teeth were cleaned in a pretty decent time considering the big night Gabriella and Troy had had, and before long they were all in the car, driving the now all too familiar route to the all too familiar hospital.
When they arrived, they made their way to the Radiation Department, and took a seat. Before too long, Dr Zamitt arrived and greeted them.
"Good morning Montez's and Master Bolton," he smiled warmly. "How are we all today?"
"Well thank you," Maria replied.
"Good thanks," Gabriella and Troy both answered
"Oooh – the big Prom was last night, yes?" the doctor asked as he took a seat next to the trio. "How was it?"
"It was one of the nest nights ever," Gabriella replied enthusiastically. Troy held her hand and watched proudly as she told her oncologist all the details of their prom, excitement dancing across her face.
"Well, it sounds like a blast," Dr Zamitt grinned. "Almost makes me wish I was your age again..." Gabriella, Troy and Maria laughed along with him. "Now, this morning I will be sitting in on your meeting with Dr Frazer, who is the resident Radiation Oncologist, and Emily Lincoln, who will be your radiation therapist – the actual professional administering your radiation treatment."
Gabriella nodded. "So what types of things will we be discussing?"
"Well we'll figure out a start date, finalise the areas we want to radiate, and decide the length of the course of therapy, then we'll measure and weigh you and make a mould that you will be confined to
on the radiation table each treatment. You'll also have some tiny permanent dot markings made on the areas to be radiated, so that we hit the exact same spots every time."
"Gabriella Montez with tattoo's – who would have thought it?" Troy teased and Gabriella poked him in the ribs.
"Gabriella Montez?" the radiation clinic secretary called out, and Dr Zamitt accompanied the small group over to the front desk. "Dr Frazer is ready for you," she informed them kindly.
"Thank you Erin," Dr Zamitt smiled, gesturing for the trio to follow him. They made their way along the corridor before he ushered them into a small consulting room to the left.
A dark haired man who looked to be in his late forties or early fifties was seated behind the desk, atop which sad a bronze nameplate reading 'Dr Martin Frazer'. He was not alone in the room – a pretty blonde woman who looked to be in her late twenties was seated beside the desk. Her name badge read 'Emily'. Both Emily and Dr Frazer stood as the Montez/Bolton party filed into the room, everyone exchanging handshakes and introductions.
Once the formalities were out of the way and everyone was seated in the office, Dr Frazer leaned forward, resting his chin on his clasped hands.
"Gabriella, my team and I have reviewed your all your scans since diagnosis and consulted with Dr Zamitt and we have decided that a ten day course of radiation therapy to your neck, abdomen and liver will be the best option for you. We would like to start this coming Monday, so long as all your blood counts are where they should be. We do want to get your NG tube replaced before then, however, so I have made you an appointment for that on Friday afternoon."
Gabriella nodded. Troy squeezed her hand and Maria gave her a reassuring smile as the doctor continued talking.
"Now the radiation process itself is very straight forward and – although its effects are brutal on cancer cells – its side effects, while still harsh, are much milder and less obvious than the side effects of chemo. I can't promise that you will breeze through the course of treatment, but it is definitely the lesser of two evils."
"What exactly does the treatment involve?" Gabriella asked softly, before adding a little hesitantly, "...and what sorts of side effects can I expect?"
Dr Frazer nodded. "Ok, well the treatment is quite simple – you will come here each morning Monday through Friday then have the weekend off, and then Monday through Friday again. Emily will collect you from the waiting area, and bring you to the treatment room where you will be strapped down to the table while the radiation beams are lined up with your markers. Everyone will then leave the room while the dose of radiation is given but you will be able to hear them speak to you over the intercom. We can play some relaxing music if you prefer, or your Mom can talk to you. The dose of radiation itself only lasts for a couple of minutes. You won't feel a thing but the machines can be quite noisy and come pretty close. You might feel a little claustrophobic or overwhelmed the first time. But you will get used to it and it will be over before you know it."
"Think I can handle that," Gabriella replied confidently. "I might make you sing to me over the intercom, Mom," she teased.
Dr Frazer laughed as Maria raised her eyes. "As far as side effects go, radiation is the kind of thing where I can't tell you one hundred percent how you will react – some people breeze through with no side effects, some have a couple and a select few do get quite sick. The most common thing you should expect, though, is fatigue – most patients feel pretty wiped out following radiation therapy. Maybe a little nauseous as well – Dr Zamitt tells me you have had a lot of trouble with nausea during your chemo, so it is possible the radiation could make you feel a bit off colour. You may feel it right away or you may experience what we call 'cumulative effects' – the fatigue and nausea could hit a few weeks after the treatment ends. Your skin might become a little dry and irritated around the areas we are hitting the hardest, or look and feel like it has been sunburnt. We can recommend special soothing moisturisers for this. The areas that we are radiating determine the effects you might feel. Radiation to your neck can cause your throat to become sore, which is actually very common. Stick to soft foods and liquids if it becomes an issue. Your voice may be affected – it may sound husky or deeper during treatment. This usually fixes itself gradually after treatment has finished, but sometimes the voice might never completely return to normal. Radiation to the abdomen can cause some stomach pain and diarrhoea. Your blood counts might also take a beating so we will continue to monitor those."
Gabriella let out a deep breath. Troy fidgeted slightly in his sleep, having trouble contemplating what the already frail girl next to him – whom he loved more than life itself - still had to face.
"Like I said, though, you may not experience any of these. You can probably assume you will feel tired and drained and maybe a little off colour, but as for the rest...it's down to the individual, really. Unfortunately it's a game of wait and see. Now there is something else...we have to discuss the long term effects of chemo and radiation. There's always the threat of secondary cancer's caused by radiation and/or chemo, but the chances of those are fairly slim. The biggest thing I need to talk about is infertility. I know it is a huge thing to have to consider when you are so young, but it is a very real possibility. We aren't radiating your lower abdomen but radiation exposure can still damage reproductive organs, as can chemotherapy. Being at such a crucial developmental age...unfortunately there is a very real possibility that the treatments you have undergone the past 8-10 months will have affected your chances of having children in the future. The good news is, as your body recovers from treatment, we are able to test your hormone levels and function so you will know for sure. And these days, there are so many options when it comes to having a family, even though it can be a hard thing to deal with."
Maria gently rubbed her daughters arm, her eyes misty. They knew that there were huge potential consequences of the extremely brutal treatments she was enduring, but when they had to weigh them up against Gabriella's life...there was no other option. It just hurt to be reminded of what she still could face despite everything she had been through already. Troy looked at Gabriella with concern but she simply put on her bravest face and stated "Well, I guess I'll have to cross that bridge when I come to it, right?" Troy squeezed her hand again and kissed her gently on the cheek, his heart breaking for Gabriella, but admiring her courage.
After more questions and answers were aired in the consulting office, Dr Zamitt said goodbye and headed back to an appointment, while Dr Frazer and Emily showed Gabriella, Maria and Troy around
the radiation rooms and Gabriella had x-rays and measurements taken for her exact dose of radiation to be worked out. Pinpoint spots were marked on her neck and across her stomach in permanent ink, and blood was drawn from her central line to be tested.
By the time the three buckled themselves back into Maria's car – around four in the afternoon – their heads were spinning with all the information they had been forced to process that day, and they were all exhausted – particularly Gabriella. Instead of sitting up front in the car, she climbed in the back right next to Troy, and was asleep on his shoulder before they had even left the hospital car park.
Later that evening - after Troy had made sure Gabriella was tucked up, comfortable, and fast asleep in her bed – he kissed her softly on the forehead, said goodbye to Maria, and drove himself home. Letting himself in the front door of his quiet house, Troy didn't even bother to turn on the lights – he sat down at the kitchen table in the dark, resting his head in his hands, and mulling things over.
The sound of his mother's voice caught him by surprise. "Penny for them?" she asked with a smile, flipping the light switch. Troy blinked as he looked up, his eyes adjusting to the light. Lucille's smile turned to a frown when she saw her son's face. "Uh oh – time for another Mom-chat I think..."
Troy sighed. "She's so brave, Mom. I don't know...I don't know how she can just face it all and not be all bitter and angry with the world. Like...radiation – 'Oh, it's much less harsh than chemo...but P.S – it will totally wipe you out, you'll want to sleep all the time, you'll probably spend the time that you're actually awake throwing up and dealing with stomach cramps. Your throat will burn, it might completely wreck your voice – you may never sing again, it might cause other cancer's to grow further down the track...oh, and by the way – you might never have kids, either. Thank you, have a nice day.' How the hell is it fair for someone as young as my Gabi – who has so far to go in life – to have to deal with all that shit when she should be getting all excited for graduation, and planning the start of her future?"
Lucille was completely speechless for a moment, Troy's words hitting her harder than she was prepared. But after re-gathering her thoughts, she spoke – choosing her words carefully. "Sometimes...sometimes there just aren't enough answers in the world to explain something like this, Troy. I would love to be able to give you some advice that could take all this away from Gabriella...and from Maria and from you...but there's no magic wand this time. We just have to stay strong for Gabi for a little longer, and keep believing that everything will be ok in the end."
Troy nodded slowly as he suddenly remembered one of Gabriella's favourite quotes – one that Taylor had reminded him of when Gabriella was in the ICU, fighting for her life. "Everything's ok in the end...if it's not ok, it's not the end, right?" he said softly.
Lucille smiled and squeezed his shoulder. "Right," she agreed, recognising Gabriella's words and feeling encouraged. "Everything will get better – I promise."
Lucille swallowed hard as the words left her mouth, praying that the promise that had just left her mouth was one that she would be able to keep...
HSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSMHSM
Gabriella picked at her fingernails nervously as she sat beside her mother in the waiting room of the Radiation Oncology Department, jumping slightly every time a name was called. It was half past eight in the morning, and she was awaiting her first dose of radiation therapy – Dr Zamitt had called the previous evening to say that her blood counts were fine - right where they needed to be to commence this final phase of her treatment.
"Gabriella Montez?"
Gabriella stood up quickly, her face paling considerably as she reached blindly for her Mom's hand – suddenly craving that comfort.
"We're ready for you," the secretary said warmly. Gabriella smiled weakly as she clutched at her mother's arm, feeling about two feet tall.
Emily met them just outside the heavily locked down room where Gabriella's treatment was to take place.
"Hey there," she greeted. "How're you doing?"
"A little nervous," Gabriella admitted.
Emily rubbed her arm supportively as she led her through the heavy doors and passed her a gown. "Deep breaths, ok?" she said with a nod.
Gabriella took the gown and quickly changed behind the screen before making her way back out and over to the table. The radiation machine loomed overhead, and Gabriella swallowed loudly.
"Gabi, I'd like you to meet Jessie, Mitchell, Bobby and Krysta – they will be helping me out behind the scenes today," Emily explained. Gabriella smiled shyly at the four young radiologists. "Ok, do you have any questions or anything before we get started?"
Gabriella shook her head. "Mom?" she asked quietly, looking sideways to where her mother was taking in all the machinery around the room.
"No," Maria replied. "I think pretty much everything was covered last week."
"Let's get this over with then, shall we?" Emily said.
Gabriella focused on deep breathing to control her nerves as Mitchell and Jessie helped her onto the table and made sure she was in the exact right position, before Krysta and Bobby strapped her into place. Once she was immobile, the Emily and her assistants made their way into the imaging booth in the next room. Maria hung back for a moment, giving Gabriella's hand a reassuring squeeze, before placing a kiss on her forehead.
"I love you, baby. Everything will be fine – it'll all be over soon," she told her, before kissing her one last time and exiting the room, joining Emily. From the small imaging room, Maria could watch what was happening on the radiation table on the row of TV monitors that Emily and her team studied carefully.
"Ok Gabi," Emily said into the intercom microphone. "We're just going to line up the radiation beams – it will take a minute to make sure they are in the right spot. You're doing great sweetheart."
Once the tiny red lights were in line, Emily pressed the intercom button again. "Right, we're set – how you doing in there, Gabi – you ready?"
"Uh huh" the adults heard the soft reply over the speaker.
"Here we go," said Emily. "I'm going to let your Mom talk to you while the machines do their thing, ok?"
Gabriella's eyes darted back and forth as the machine above her whirred into life and began to emit a steady stream of rapid clicking noises.
"Hi honey," she heard her mother's voice fill the room. "You're doing wonderfully. You're a TV star in here – I'm watching you on the screen. Sharpay would be jealous of all this screen time," Maria joked. "So this will be one down, and nine to go, right? Two more weeks and we can put all this behind us. I'm proud of you Gabi; just keep breathing deeply in there.
"Ok...and we're done!" Emily informed Gabriella over the intercom as the machines fell silent. The doors opened and Mitchell came in and unstrapped Gabriella from the table, while Bobby helped her to sit up.
Gabriella's brow creased slightly. "That's it?" she asked. "Done?"
"Done," Emily nodded.
"But...but that was so quick! And I didn't feel a thing...are you sure the machine actually did something?"
Emily laughed. "I'm sure. A fear of the unknown is a big thing with radiation – it's a scary thought, being strapped to a table while we aim radiation beams at you. But it's hard not to wonder if the treatment is actually doing anything, when you can't feel it."
"Wow," Gabriella replied. "I'll know what I'm in for tomorrow at least!"
Emily laughed again. "See you tomorrow Miss!"
Gabriella chatted to Maria all the way home – clearly relieved that radiation had been nowhere near as horrific as she expected it to be. By the time they arrived home, however, she was beginning to yawn and after a couple of hours she needed a nap. Her nap lasted most of the afternoon, but she felt better afterwards.
Troy, Lucille and Jack came over, and Maria ended up inviting them to stay for dinner. As it got later, everyone could see that Gabriella was beginning to grow tired again, so Troy insisted on putting her to bed and tucking her in with her Wildcat bear.
The process soon became routine.
Up early in the morning, drive to the hospital. Hang out in the waiting room before being taken in for radiation. Fall asleep on the drive home, sleep away most of the afternoon.
As three days of treatment turned into four, and four into five, an exhausted Gabriella welcomed the weekend and the two day break from radiation gladly. Her throat was beginning to feel like she had a bad case of Strep, patches of her skin were tinged with pink, and her stomach was bothering her on and off.
Monday arrived all too soon, and with it came radiation treatment number 6, as well as a clinic appointment for bloods to be taken, and a quick check up.
Tuesday Gabriella woke up feeling sick to her stomach and vomited twice before they left the house, once on the way to the hospital, and then twice more in the waiting room bathrooms before her treatment.
Wednesday brought more tummy troubles, and an overnight change in Gabriella's voice. "I sound like a man," she complained to Troy. He simply shrugged and told her he thought she sounded sexy.
Thursday's treatment came and went and as Gabriella ticked off the date on her treatment chart, she realised with a jolt that after tomorrow's session that was it – no more treatment. Nothing. She was on her own.
It was a strange feeling – almost like she had had this huge security blanket for the past 10 months and within the next 24 hours that was being ripped away. Tomorrow's treatment would be her last session on a bike with training wheels, her last time swimming with water-wings, her last time on a balance beam with someone to hold her hand...
She awoke Friday morning to find a huge arrangement of beautiful roses and lilies on her desk – the card read:
One last hurdle to jump – tomorrow your life will begin.
We are so proud of you.
Love always, Mom, Troy, Luc & Jack
Xox
Maria pushed her from the car to Radiation Oncology in the wheelchair – she was too tired to walk. When they arrived they found balloons and streamers strewn around the room, a large banner that read 'Happy End-of-Treatment GABI!' and Dr Zamitt holding a cake. An overwhelmed Gabriella thanked everyone over and over as Maria clicked away with the camera.
At ten past nine, Mitchell strapped her down on that cold table for the very last time, and her mother sang softly to her over the intercom as the machine's whirred to life. Not even two minutes later, Emily shut down the machines for the last time.
"Aaand...we're done," she announced, as the room fell silent.
"Mom," Maria heard the husky, quiet voice from the table as they re-entered the treatment room. "I'm done! I'm really, really done!"
"Yes, my baby girl – you're really, really done!" she unstrapped her daughter herself and pulled her close, both soaking each other's shoulders with tears – Gabriella's sobs of relief, happiness and joy starting Maria's off.
Dr Zamitt met them back out in the foyer and confirmed an appointment for the following Wednesday, where Gabriella would have her end-of-treatment tests and scans, before bidding them farewell and leaving Maria to wheel her daughter – who was so exhausted she could hardly hold her head up – back to the car.
As the automatic doors at the hospital entrance swished open, and the refreshing breeze danced across Gabriella's face, she inhaled deeply.
"Smell that?" she asked her mother.
"Smell what, honey?"
"That smell," Gabriella replied. "That's my future..."
Ok so can you all give me a WOOP WOOP! (listens) YAY! END OF TREATMENT! Or is it...
Next Up: End of treatment tests and scans...and the verdict is in. The verdict that will decide the rest of Gabriella's future...
Until then – PLEASE REVIEW:)
CJ xox