A/N: So in this chapter we are going dress shopping. Anytime I describe clothing, someone always leaves a comment that they don't like what my fictional character is fictionally wearing. I am not a clothes person. I invite you to use your own imagination if you have something else in mind. Some authors go through great lengths to describe what their characters are wearing and that bores me to death so I just gloss over it while others love it. To each their own. You can still make your comments, I left the ability for anyone to make a comment for a reason. Just know that when it comes to clothing descriptions, it is the only area where I really don't desire strive to improve. Maybe someday I will get there but I have so many other places where I know I am weak that matter more to me.

Really not trying to rant, more like explain. On with the story...

Chapter 36

"I still don't understand why you won't let me sleep next to my soon to be wife." Christian grumbles at his mother. I giggle. He is acting like a petulant child. Grace brought me to the guest room on the second floor next to Mia's room. Christian was just sent up to the third floor to his childhood bedroom but he is standing at the bottom of the stairs whining.

Grace's patience is wearing thin but I have to give her credit, she is handling her son like a trooper. Both Sullivan and the Taylor's came along and are camped out in Elliot's old room next door to Christian. Using her best don't mess with me voice Grace turns around and gives him one last warning. "Christian Trevelyan-Grey, if you don't march up those stair and go to bed right now I just might have to put you over my knee."

Christian looks at him mother wide-eyed. "Be careful with your threats Mom. I just might like that!"

Taylor had come to see if he could offer some assistance but burst out laughing instead and Grace turns bright red.

"Christian!" I admonish him. "That is your mother. You can't say things like that to her. Now go to bed. I will see you in the morning."

Taylor grabs Christian and half carries him up the stairs. "Come on big guy. Let's get some sleep now. The morning will be here soon enough."

Grace looks at me, astonished. "That boy is going to be the death of me. Good night."

"Good night." I close the door and lock it just like I promised Grace I would. I lean back against the door and sink to the floor as I allow the full weight of what is happening swallow me. Somebody out there actually wants to do me harm. All because of the big oaf upstairs. I laugh out loud. Tonight I could almost give him away. I'm really missing my strong, take-charge man.

I get up and pull the flowery bedding back and climb in the full-sized bed. Reaching over to turn off the bedside lamp, I lay on my side and drift off to sleep.

The next morning I wake up to knocking on my door. I am pretty well rested considering the night we've just had. I climb out of the bed and open the door to find a pretty cheerful Mia. "Morning." I tell her in my croaky voice and my hair tangled all over the place.

"Good Morning. Mom told me to tell you that breakfast is just about ready and she asked me to bring you these." Mia says cheerfully. It looks like the entire Grey clan is a bunch of cheerful early risers. Mia hands me my clothes and goes into her room and shuts the door.

Gail packed me a pair of khaki slacks and a purple button-down blouse. They also remembered to send up clean underwear and a bra, thank heavens. I dress myself pretty quickly but realize I don't have a brush or a toothbrush.

I follow the smell of bacon frying and find Gail in the kitchen. "Good morning Gail."

"Morning." She sing-songs as she flips the pancakes. When she glances in my direction she realizes I didn't have my hairbrush. "Sorry Ana, your toiletry bag didn't make it upstairs. It is in the sitting room on top of my suitcase. I'm sure you want to brush your teeth."

"Thank you." I tell her as I go to retrieve it. I slip into the bathroom that connects to Carrick's study. I can hear Christian yelling and I deflate. I imagine that he is getting the full run down of the events of last night.

Once I finished freshening up I go and knock on the door to the study. I want to see Christian. Taylor cracks open the door and when he see that it is me, he opens it wider to let me in. Carrick is sitting at his desk and Sullivan is sitting next to a seething Christian. "Did you know about all of this Ana?" he demands.

I look at Carrick because I don't know what he has been told and Carrick gives me a slight nod. "Yes Christian. Why do you think we are here this morning?" I ask him paying no mind to his grumpy mood.

"I want to know why I wasn't told any of this until this morning." Christian yells at no one in particular.

I walk up to him and go to sit in his lap. He pushes me off. "No Anastasia. Not right now."

I turn around and glare at him. "You were in no condition to make any sound judgement last night for starters. But before you get all down on yourself for having a panic attack understand one thing, if it weren't for that, Carrick wouldn't have come and called my mother. If he hadn't talked to my mother when he did, she might not have been so forthcoming with the valuable information that she did. Your father and Taylor and whomever else you trust with your life came together and put the puzzle together and formulated a plan. They ran their assessment and their plan by me and I happen to agree with them. So instead of losing your damn head over when you found out, how about you try to be thankful that your well-oiled machine can work even in moments when you are incapacitated for whatever reason. Good morning to you too, Christian. Gentlemen. I will be in the kitchen with Gail." I rant and storm out.

There is only so much of the spoiled brat Christian I can take at a time and I have reached my limit.

When I get back to the kitchen, my frustration hasn't dissipated, if anything it has increased ten-fold. Not much gets by Gail and her observant eye. "I take it that Mr. Grey isn't taking any of this well," She comments.

"I would say that not taking it well would be a big understatement." I confirm as I snatch a piece of bacon off the warming rack.

"Well, breakfast is ready so go ahead and fix yourself a plate. I am going to leave this for the boys and come join you, Ms. Grey, and Dr. Grey at the dining room table.

I load up my plate with breakfast. I am not going to be a bride that starves herself to fit in a wedding dress. Either it fits when I have a full stomach or it doesn't. I know I am stress eating and I will have to be mindful of it though. It is kind of funny that sometime I won't eat when I am stressed out and other times I can't eat enough.

"There you are Ana. Are you excited to go dress hunting today?" Mia asks when she sees me.

"Actually, I am." I admit. I normally hate shopping but today is different.

Grace eats her breakfast, obviously exhausted. "I wish I could go with you girls but I am due to go on shift at noon. Dr. Sanchez is leaving on vacation and I offered to take half of his today."

I appreciate her sentiment but honestly, I am a little thankful to have a little space from her today. I feel a little guilty for feeling that way. I love her but last night was intense.

"Kate should be here soon. I texted her and told her that we were all meeting here first so she said she would come over once she has had a cup of coffee and a shower." Mia tells me.

I nod as I shovel down my pancakes. Gail leans over to watch the men enter the kitchen to get their breakfast. "Where is Gretchen?" I ask Grace since she also has her own housekeeper.

"Her father is having heart surgery today so I gave her the week off to spend time with her family. If she needs more, all she has to do is ask but I had to practically force the dear girl to go for the week." Grace explains.

Taylor, Sullivan, and Carrick are first in the dining room with their plates. The chair beside me is the only one that remains. I can hear Christian getting himself a cup of coffee so I know he has at least calmed down.

When he finally shows his face, he takes the one chair next to me but doesn't acknowledge me. He announces good morning to the entire table and starts eating. One bite after another.

Gail winks at me. She told me this would happen and boy was she right. Grace watches her son eat as if she is expecting something. When he doesn't acknowledge her either, she gets angry. "Christian Grey, I know you are not happy today but if you are going to be such a dark cloud around here, why don't you go to work."

"When I finish eating I am going to go. Ana, have fun in Aspen. Keep security close by. I am sending Taylor and Gail with you. Mia, please keep her close." He instructs.

I wrinkle my brow. Have fun in Aspen? "You aren't going to come with me?" I ask him even though he is doing his best to look anywhere but at me.

"No." he gives a clipped one-word answer.

"Why not?"

"Because I have shit to do, okay. Have fun dress shopping. See you when I see you." He says going to the door with Sullivan running after him.

I also get up and follow him. "See you when I see you? What in the hell is that Christian?" I say behind gritted teeth, trying my ever loving best not to create a huge scene or slap the hell out of him.

Christian turns his back to me. "Anastasia, don't. Just please don't." as he walks out the door and climbs into the backseat of his Audi.

Taylor comes up behind me and pulls me into a quiet, seldom used room. "Sit down Ana. Let me clue you into what is happening."

I sit because I was told. I am on autopilot. My heart is breaking and it hurts so bad. Tears are streaming down my face and Taylor pulls out his phone and snaps a picture. "What the hell Taylor."

"I am sending that to John Flynn. He is going to be doing some intense therapy sessions over the next several days to weeks. He will use the picture when he feels the time is right to show him that his actions have very real consequences. The pain I can see in your eyes. The tears. That is real and he needs to face the carnage he leaves behind when he goes on these rampages so that in the future, he thinks about others and not just himself. " Taylor explains. "He decided not to go Aspen because he feels powerless to protect you. He knows you are in danger simply because you are in his life. Last night he was rendered powerless during a time where a lot of split second decisions needed to be made. I am not trying to make excuses for him. The way he just treated you was shitty but don't doubt the love he has for you either. Go dress shopping. Plan the wedding. Plan for your future. What happened this morning, this is temporary. You will be able to give him shit for it later and I expect you to. He needs to learn that it is not acceptable behavior no matter what his fears are." Taylor leans over and gives me a hug. It is a little weird coming from him.

"Okay." I tell him while tears are still streaming down my face.

"Here is the plan. I don't want you to have any communication with Christian for at least two or three days. I can't stop you, of course but I can promise you that nothing good is going to come of it. Christian is going to be an asshole because when he wants to be, he can be the King of Assholes. Communicating with him is going to exacerbate the situation. Instead, every time you have something you want to tell him, take a picture or write it down so that you can share it with him later. Tell him how mad you are, how hurt you are, how much fun you had. The whole bit so he can walk through your pain with you and Dr. Flynn."

I nod, understanding what Taylor is telling me but I am overwhelmed. "How often does this happen Taylor?"

"Thankfully, not that often. We are reasonably sure he is pushing you away in some attempt to protect you. We meaning me and Dr. Flynn. You are the first person that he appears to care enough about that it just might get through to him that this is a dangerous coping mechanism. So on his end, what will be going on is that he is going to hyperfocus on work. He is going to try to control every aspect of every single thing in the company because he feels that is something he can manipulate in his favor. He is going to shun everything he feels he can't control. For example, he won't attend the security briefings and he won't interact with you. Don't mistake that for him not caring about you. He cares a lot. He will have a daily lunch session with Dr. Flynn and every night from six until late. As long as progress is being made, Dr. Flynn will stay with him."

I close my eyes and count to ten. "I am pissed Taylor. When I agreed to marry him I didn't envision him throwing some huge hissy fit and throwing me to the side."

"Write that down Ana. Start a journal in your phone." Taylor encourages me. "You have every reason to be pissed. That is exactly what he has just done. When he comes out of this, and realizes how he made you feel, he will hate that he made you feel this way. I have worked for Christian for seven years and this is the third time this has happened. The first time was when you left. That lasted for about a week before we got him back on track. The last time was when the videos were made public and that only last for a couple of days from what I was told. Gail and I were on our honeymoon so I missed it because he was much better by the time I got back. Each time, you have been involved somehow, quite honestly. Now it is my understanding that he used to behave this way much more often when he was younger. That obviously had nothing to do with you."

Great, just great. I bring out the worst in my future husband. I know Taylor is just trying to offer me some insight into what he knows about Christian but what I want more than anything is Christian to come back and comfort me. I know it isn't too late to back out and breaking up now is cheaper than a divorce later. I am definitely going to get another job. I need my own money so I am never stuck. I decide that Taylor is right. I write everything down. I want to leave him yet, I love him too much not to fight for him but I am going to leave all my options on the table including moving the wedding back for a year.

The doorbell rings and Taylor answers it. Kate comes bounding in, looking radiant. "Oh my goodness. Steele! Why are you crying? This is supposed to be a happy day. We are going to try on wedding dresses together. Can you believe it?"

I smile through my tears. "I'm fine. Just had some disturbing news so I have to fly to Aspen later tonight with Mia. Christian can't come and I am a little sad about it but lets go find the dress." I tell her leaving out that Christian won't be coming to Aspen with me. I am not exactly sure why I am protecting him but maybe I am just protecting myself.

"Let me go get Mia and Gail and then we can get going. Who is driving?" Kate asks

Taylor raises his hand. "That would be me."

"Woah. We rate the big guns today!" Kate exclaims as she leaves in search of my two other bridesmaids.

Before I know it we are all packed into one Audi SUV heading to the Bridal Boutique. Taylor looks overjoyed to be the one to accompany us but at least this way he can have some input on Gail's dress. Silver linings, right?

As soon as I get into the shop, I am overwhelmed. A pretty blond comes right over to assist us. "So who is the lucky bride?"

Mia points at both me and Kate. "They are."

"And I am assuming you are all in the wedding party." She asks, looking at us a little strangely.

"Yes." I confirm.

"Well I will be happy to assist you. My name is Rachel and I have been running this shop for the last seven years. We have every service that any bride could want available here. Let's start with the bridesmaids. Did you have a particular color you were looking for?"

I nod but Kate answers. We are interested in see color swatches. We know we want a color that is either silver to a dark gray. We just need to settle on a specific one."

The door chimes and I look over, relieved to see Melissa coming through the door. I immediately go over to her and give her a big hug. "Congratulations. We are picking out the exact gray from the color swatches. I really want your opinion because you know what will look best with the flowers."

Rachel smiles. "Another bridesmaid?"

"No, mother of the bride." I blurt out and everyone looks at me funny including Melissa. I sigh, "Fine, have it your way, future step-mother of the bride."

She holds up her ring and everyone congratulates her. I am genuinely happy. We look over the color swatches and I am immediately drawn to one of the darker shades of grey. It isn't so dark that it looks black but it is a deep, rich gray. I point at it and look at Melissa and she nods and smiles. "This is the one. This is the color."

Rachel turns over the swatch. The is called Slate Gray though there are two designers that call it dark slate gray so we will have to be careful when we order to make sure. Ladies, the bridemaids dresses are over here. They can all be ordered in your desired color. You can browse them and try them on right over there as you wish. She spots Taylor over in the corner by the window looking miserable. "Sir, can I get you anything. I do have a few tuxedos if you wish to get fitted."

"No thank you. I am good. I have the pleasure of escorting all these lovely ladies today. I look forward to seeing them find something they like." He says diplomatically.

I pull Melissa off to the side as Kate follows Rachel to the wedding dresses in another room. "Look, I hate to put you on the spot like this but I pretty much lost my mother last night. When I told her Christian and I were engaged she lost her mind so I told her I didn't want anything to do with her right now and that she wasn't welcome to attend the wedding. I wish I could tell you more but I promise you I wasn't trying to be a spoiled brat. I really need a mother figure right now and I know you haven't been engaged to my Dad a whole 24 hours yet but could you do this for me?" I plead.

"Annie, sweetheart. What do you need from me right now?" she asks, placing her hand on my upper arm.

Tears spring to my eyes. "I need someone to give me an honest opinion about the dresses I try on. I need someone to tell me to calm down if I become a demanding brat. I just need someone to lean on." I cry.

Melissa pulls me right into a big hug and kisses me on the cheek. "I can do that. But Ana, I am not going to come between you and your mother and I am not going to speak ill of her. I am not here to take her place. I am too new into this family dynamic to understand what is going on or even form an opinion. Your mother is still your mother." She whispers to me as I sob into her shoulder.

"I can live with that." I answer. "I just never imagined she wouldn't be here to support me when I got married is all. Thank you for being here."

We walk hand in hand together into the other room and Kate is already in a dress. She looks stunning. I whistle. "You look sexy." I tell her as she examines herself in the three way mirror. It is a pretty simple sleeveless dress that hugs all her curves until it flairs out just under her behind.

"Thank you Steele but I don't know about this one." Kate says as she makes a few faces.

Melissa looks at the empty rack, "Why don't you put that one in the maybe section in the middle. You do look stunning."

"I concur." I pipe up while browsing through another rack full of dresses hoping one catches my eye. I have a pretty good idea of what I am not looking for. I know I don't want a dress that is too revealing and I know I don't want a big puffy poofy dress either.

Melissa is searching on the other side of the room. "Annie, what about this one?" She pulls out a dress that is beautiful. It has beautiful lace work along the bodice and straps and then flairs naturally down past my hips. I don't know if it will be The Dress but it is exactly what I was looking for. I take it to the dressing room and strip down before climbing into it. I have to wait for Rachel to finish helping Kate before she can button me up but it is beautiful. If it weren't for the lace, it would be a simple white sweetheart strapless dress. Nothing special. But then there is the shear layer that is cut a bit more modestly into a bateau neckline. The lacework flowers cover my cleavage and follows the strap down onto my back. I didn't notice that the flowers continue down the dress until I actually got it on and really looked at it. They are just enough and spread out that they aren't overdone.

Rachel comes in to my dressing room and immediately buttons me up. "You are much more independent, aren't you?" she teases me.

"Some people would say impatient but I prefer your description. I think I will counter them with independent from now on."

Rachel looks over me approvingly. "You know, you might have found your dress on your first try. That is quite impressive. You should still try on a couple more to be sure but I think you are going to love it.

She opens the curtain dramatically and Kate is standing in front of the mirrors in a dress that just doesn't suit her. It is huge with big puffy shoulders and long lace sleeves that end in a diamond by her middle finger. Despite all that material, her boobs still manage to be stuck out for all to see. I laugh. "I don't think so Kate."

Kate towards me to go back to take it off and stops dead in her tracks. "Ana. That is it. That is just so you. Not to mention it is practically a perfect fit." She assesses. Since there aren't any mirrors in the dressing room, I have to wait to actually see how it looks on me but just looking down at it, I am pretty happy with it.

I step up the stairs and onto the platform in front of the mirrors and Melissa gasps and runs out of the room, calling the others. When I look into the mirror for the first time I gasp. There is absolutely no need to try anything else on. This is it.

Mia comes first with two dresses in her hands. "Ana, you look so beautiful and classy." She nods approvingly.

Gail comes in with Taylor and she puts her hands up to her face and nods. Even Taylor is smiling. I laugh when I see that she is dressed in an orange creation that just looks ridiculous.

I look at my reflection one more time before turning to Rachel. "I will take it."

Rachel looks a little nervous. "Before you commit, I have to ask if you checked the price tag. This is one of the most expensive dresses I carry."

Not that it matters to me. Taylor has Christian's AMEX to pay for it but I am curious. "I didn't check. How much is it."

"It is an Ines Di Santo dress. It cost $9755." Rachel cringes as she waits for my reaction.

I sigh. That is an awful lot to spend on a dress for a single afternoon but I can't imagine another one that I would like better.

"I have some that are a similar cut to that one that are quite a bit more affordable. We could go look at them." Rachel suggests.

I just keep staring at my reflection. I love this dress. I think Christian will love seeing me in this dress and if he gets himself together, he would be mad if I didn't buy it just because I could have found a cheaper one. "I will take it."

Rachels nearly falls over her three-inch heels. "We could do a payment plan. When is the wedding?"

Kate calls out from the back, "July 13th." I roll my eyes at her.

"2014?"

I shake my head. "No, 2013. It is in eight and a half weeks."

Taylor watches the exchange until he has had his fill. He is accustomed to people knowing who he is and who he works for since he is Christian's shadow. "We will take the dress and pay in full today."

"Absolutely. If it is okay, I am going to help Kate with her next dress and then I will be in to see how the bridesmaids are doing. She sputters and rushes back to Kate.

I mouth a silent thank you to Taylor go back to the dressing room to wait for Rachel to help me take it off.

It doesn't take her long to get back to me and I am dressed in no time. "Kate, I'm going to check on the bridesmaids. Give a little shout when you come out so I can give you my opinion."

"Will do! Go help Mia and Gail."

I stop to give Melissa a hug. "You made this so easy. You are amazing." I tell her.

"Sorry I picked out such an expensive dress." Melissa apologizes.

I wave my hand at her to stop her. "Honestly, it isn't a big deal. The dress could have been twice as much and I still would have bought it. That feels really weird to say and I am not usually a big spender but it is my wedding day."

"Is it okay with you if I stay back and help Kate?" she asks looking for my approval.

"Please do. Since you have such impeccable taste, why don't you find one for her from the same rack you found mine. Did you want to look at dresses for yourself?"

Melissa shakes her head no. "Your father and I have both had our big weddings already. I think we are just going to go to the Justice of the Peace and have a backyard bbq with our family and a few close friends. Where we will spend some money is the honeymoon." She laughs.

When I step into the bridesmaid room, both Mia and Gail are in the changing room. "How is it going?" I ask Taylor.

He looks at me and shrugs. They have both come out here looking beautiful and looking ridiculous. Doesn't matter what I tell them, they go try another one on."

I laugh. That is the reason I hate shopping with Kate. It doesn't matter if the first one is perfect, she tries on the rest of the store just to make sure.

Mia steps out in the perfect dress for her. "Mia. That dress is perfect." I gush.

"You think? I keep coming back to this one but I am not sure." She turns to look at herself in the mirror again.

"I do, take it off and lets order that one."

The sounds of shrieking laughter comes from the bridal room so Mia and I follow the noise. Melissa is doubled over in her chair and Kate is stomping her foot and dancing around. Rachel is slightly red and looks a little sheepish.

"What is going on?" I ask, amused just by watching them.

Rachel speaks up. "I am very sorry Ana. I thought that you and Kate were getting married."

I crinkle my eyebrows, confused. "We are both getting married." Mia starts to giggle too.

Kate manages to get out despite her hysterics, "No Steele, she thought we were getting married to each other."

I think about it for a second and I can see where Rachel got that idea from. I shrugged. "Easy mistake, especially when my Maid of Honor here decides to most of your questions for me. How did it come up? I am just curious."

Rachel sighs, "I was nervous thinking we had eight weeks to get Kate into a dress she likes and altered in time."

I look at the dress Kate is now wearing and it suits her. "I really like that one Kate." It is a form fitting dress that shows off all her curves. Kate not only has the body to pull it off, she has the confidence.

"I do too."

I look at Rachel and explain. "We are marrying brothers and we have been best friends for years now. She is my maid of honor and I am getting married in July because my fiancé is im… independent. I don't think Kate has set a date yet."

"Don't you mean impatient, Ana. I mean I guess he is independent too but one of the first adjective I would use to describe your man is impatient." Kate blabbers.

"Rachel and I decided that independent was a better word than impatient. She knew what I meant." I say smiling at our bridal attendant. I am trying to make he feel better since she thought Kate and I were a lesbian couple and obviously embarrassed about it.

"Okay, well I know the month I am getting married in. I always wanted December wedding. I just love the Holidays and I think it would be so romantic. I just don't know if it is going to be in 2013 or 2014 yet. And you have to be my matron of honor Ana."

"Hold on. Mia, when you get married who is going to be your maid of honor."

Mia looks at me, curious why I am asking. "My best friend Lily."

Relieved I answer Kate. "Absolutely. I will absolutely be your matron of honor."

"Why did you ask me who my maid of honor was going to be?" Mia asks.

Kate answers for me, obviously she caught on. "She didn't want to leave you out. If you didn't have anyone in mind, she was going to decline so you could be my maid of honor and then she would be yours. Since you do have someone to fill the roll, we don't feel guilty about making you a just a bridesmaid."

"Exactly." I agree.

Two hours and $24,000 later the bridesmaids dresses are ordered and Kate and I walk out with our gowns. Taylor looks like a prisoner just released from jail and smelling sweet freedom again at last. For me, it means my little diversion to escape my current reality is over. Will there actually be a wedding?

While Kate and Mia are happily talking in the backseat, I sit up front with Taylor. He tells me that Grace invited Ray and Melissa over to her house for a late lunch before they head home. Then Grace and I are going to do a mock up of the yard to determine what rental supplies were going to be needed before the flight to Aspen later tonight.

"How is Christian?" I dare to ask him.

Taylor glances over at me. "Hard at work. Exactly how I told you he would be."

So day one of the great freeze is fully planned out for me. I realize that I am probably going to be kept very busy and very scheduled over the next few days in an effort to distract me from this deep pain I am feeling deep in my chest. I decide that I am going to set a time limit because there is only so much I am going to be able to take of this. Five days, including today. That is it. If he isn't back by then, I am done. I have to heal my broken heart.

"Taylor"

"Yes Ana."

"Tell Flynn he has four more days after today to work his magic. If he isn't back by then, I am out."

A/N: So a little angst to go with the drama. Right now, I hate Christian myself. No, I am not going to do any from Christian's POV. Maybe when this story is over I might take on a few outtakes. Don't worry, it won't take too long before they are reunited. I won't make any promises about how that is going to go because I am toying with three vastly different scenarios.