DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.
Previously on Learning to Live Again…
"I was going to ask you, Jake, if you mind staying with Bella while I drove back home for a bit tomorrow. I need to get the car seat and a few other things before we take Lilly home."
"Sure, sure. Is around noon fine?"
"That sounds perfect. Thanks, Jake."
"I don't need a babysitter," I pouted. Katie snorted, but remained quiet.
"No, but I would feel better knowing someone is here looking after the two of you."
"Whatever," I said, rolling my eyes.
"Better get used to it, Bells. Now that he's imprinted, you're never getting rid of him," Jake grinned.
"I'm okay with that."
Jake and Katie left, and the nurse brought Lilliana back in. I fed her before she fell back asleep. Quil climbed into the small bed with me, where we both slept peacefully – until Lilly woke us up two hours later.
The morning came too early. I could already foresee that Lilly didn't plan on being one of those 'sleep through the night from the start' babies. My doctor came in around ten o'clock to check on us.
"Good morning. How are you feeling this morning, Ms. Swan?"
"Tired, but good."
"Good, good. Do you still want to run a paternity test?"
"Yes," I said, looking at Quil. He smiled back down at me.
"Okay, you can let the nurse know when the other…candidate arrives and–"
"Oh, no that won't be needed," I cut him off. "Just Quil is being tested."
"Don't you want to know for certainty who is the father?"
"Yes, we do. But if results come back negative for Quil, then we'll know for 100 percent confidence the only other candidate is the father. We don't need another test."
He looked unsure, but agreed. "All right then. I can have a nurse come in and draw blood."
"Thank you."
He left, and a few minutes later, a nurse came in. She extracted a sample from Lilliana's leg and another from Quil's arm.
"We won't get the result until at least tomorrow. It will just depend on how backed up the lab is and how many priority tests come in while your sample is in queue. I have to tell you it could take up to five days. But in a hospital this size, I can tell you you'll probably get them tomorrow."
"That sounds good, thanks," Quil said. She smiled and left the room. Lilly started to fuss, so I began to feed her.
"You know, Bella, no matter what I'm here. Even without the imprint, I wouldn't leave either of you."
"I know, Quil. I just feel like I've been holding my breath since I returned to Washington and my air supply is about to run out. And it feels like the wrong answer could keep me from ever breathing again."
"Bella, the results won't change anything. You have nothing to worry about or fear."
"I know that in theory. I guess I'm just freaking out over nothing."
"What part freaks you out?"
"I love you so much."
"Bella–"
"No, let me get this out. I love you. I want you to be Lilliana's father in every sense of the word. And I know you'll be her father no matter what the test says. And I know that Jacob will play Uncle Jake. But if the results say Jake is her biological father, how do I face him every day knowing that he's playing uncle to his own daughter?"
Quil looked down at Lilliana and remained silent. After a minute, he spoke softly, "I hadn't really thought of that."
"I feel like we'll be living a lie, Quil."
"Bella, if Jacob doesn't want to know, what are we supposed to do?"
"I don't know," I sighed.
"Let's not worry about this until after the results come back. Hopefully we're worrying about nothing."
I nodded.
A little while later, I woke up without realizing that I'd ever fallen asleep.
"Hey, baby. Feel a little more rested?" Quil asked, sitting in the rocking chair by the window with Lilliana in his arms.
"Yeah, a bit. How long was I out?"
"Just an hour or so. Lilly and I have just been chilling. Isn't' that right, princess?" Lilliana made no effort to respond.
"Is she hungry?"
"I fed her some formula about half an hour ago." After reading dozens of articles and books, we'd decided to feed her breast milk for the majority, but supplement it with formula.
"Oh, all right."
"Do you feel hungry?"
"A little."
"The nurse said they'd bring your lunch down around noon, but I can go down to the cafeteria and grab you something now. My stomach has been grumbling at me for a little while now."
"Well, if you're already going…" I hedged.
Quil smiled brightly, knowing what I was doing. "Yes, I am. What would you like?"
"Some fruit salad if they have it or a sandwich if not."
"Okay, I can handle that I think. What to drink?"
"The water here will do. Oh, and maybe some of those delicious sugar cookies like last time, please."
His eyes widened a bit and his smile faltered before he plastered on a large, fake smile. "Sugar cookies, check."
Quil handed a now sleeping Lilly to me, and he left the room.
A minute later a knock on the door caught my attention.
"Come in."
"Good morning, Mommy," a familiar voice said. I looked up to see Renée in the doorway with Phil behind her.
"Hey, Mom, Phil. I wasn't expecting you so soon."
"I had to see my granddaughter."
"Well, come see her then," I said, smiling. My mom and Phil made their way to my bedside.
"Oh, would you look at her. She's beautiful, Bella."
"She is, isn't she? Want to hold her?"
"Of course I want to hold my grandbaby. God, that sounds too weird. I'm a grandmother."
"Yeah, it's still weird to think I'm a mom."
"You'll fall into the role quickly, if you haven't already."
"How did you guys get here so early?"
"Your mother found a flight that left at four o'clock in the morning," Phil grumbled a bit, staring at Renée. "That and the time change helped out."
"I'm glad you're here."
"Us too," Renée said, cooing at Lilly.
"What did you name her, Bella?" Phil asked.
"Be warned, it's a mouthful," I said with a small giggle. "Quil and I decided on Lilliana Raegan Nayeli Ateara."
"Nayeli? What does that mean?" Renée asked, looking up at me from Lilly.
"I love you." A smile crossed her face as she gazed back down at my daughter.
"Well, isn't that too perfect for this precious one. It's a beautiful name, the whole thing."
"Yeah, Quil really wanted to have that name – to know she's always loved."
"Are you still having the paternity test done?"
"Yeah, they took the samples this morning."
"Is Quil concerned about it?"
I shook my head. "No, I'm the worried one. He'll be there no matter what the paper says. He just wants to know for any future health concerns we may face. If something genetic comes up, we wouldn't want to waste time on a DNA test."
"And you, you're worried for what reason?"
"If she turns out to be Jake's, then I'll feel like I'm living a lie. I don't how to face Jacob, knowing that he is her father, but all he'll ever be is her pseudo uncle."
"That was Jacob's decision, Bella. You can't carry that guilt or whatever you want to classify your feelings under because of what he wants. Maybe you could just have the results, but seal them for only an emergency."
"What, like don't look at the results, but have the hospital keep them on record if she ever needed it?"
"That and if you decide to give her the choice of knowing when she's older. She could look for herself."
"That would solve the medical worry, but I don't think I could just sit on something so important."
"Okay, then don't go that route. I was just throwing out another idea."
"I appreciate it, Mom. I'm not sure what the exact thing to do here is, but I feel confident with Quil by my side that things will work themselves out."
"Good, I'm glad you have him, Bella. I haven't gotten to meet the boy yet, but from our conversations, he seems like a good guy."
"He is, Mom. Quil is amazing."
"Of course I am. I have sugar cookies," Quil spoke from the doorway.
"Yeah, you didn't threaten the cook, did you?"
"Nope, he already had them made. He must have heard you were here," he said, winking at me. He handed me a bag with food in it. Then he turned to Phil and Renée. "Hi, I'm Quil. You must be Mr. and Mrs. Dwyer," he said, reaching out to shake their hands.
"Oh, it's nice to finally meet you. But, please, call us Renée and Phil."
"All right, Renée and Phil. Nice to meet you as well."
After Renée and Phil visited for a little while, they left to check into their hotel to get settled in. They planned to stay for a couple of days before returning to Jacksonville. The time spent with them and Quil seemed to go well. On the way out, Renée gave me a hug and whispered to me, not knowing he'd be able to hear her.
"I highly approve, Bella. He's perfect."
"Yeah, he is," I said, making eye contact with him. He gave me a sly grin and a wink, confirming he'd heard.
At noon sharp, Jacob walked through the door.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey, Jake. Thanks again for coming."
"Glad I could help, Quil."
"Okay, so it will take like an hour for me to get back. Bella's had a snack, but lunch for her should be arriving soon."
"Quil, I'm not a little kid."
"I know, Bella, I'm just giving Jake an update on what he's coming into. Also, Bella should feed Lilly in about thirty minutes – breast feeding this time. And–"
"I'm sure Bells has it under control. We'll be fine, Quil. Go do what you need to do, man."
"Right, okay," my wolf said sheepishly, walking to me. "I love you, baby," he said, dropping a kiss on my lips. "And I love you too, princess," he cooed, leaving a small kiss on Lilly's forehead while she slept in my arms.
"I'll take good care of them, Quil. Nothing's getting by me," Jake said, laughing at Quil.
"Fine, laugh at me all you want. I just better find the two of them in the same condition I'm leaving them."
Jacob rolled his eyes. "Aye, aye, captain."
"I really hate you sometimes, Jake." Quil turned back to me. "Good-bye, my girls. I'll be back as soon as I can. I love you both."
"We love you too, Quil. Now go."
"Fine," he huffed. "I'm going."
"Bye." He finally left the room.
"Wow," Jacob breathed out. "He's turned into a hovering fool overnight, I see."
"Yeah, he did. I'm not sure if it's the imprint or just Lilly being here."
"Perhaps a bit of both has caused his wolf to go into protective overdrive."
"Hmm, you're probably right."
"So, how are you feeling?"
"About what?"
"Everything. It's been a bit of an overload of things lately."
"Well, I couldn't be happier about Lilliana being here. She's healthy and beautiful; I couldn't ask for more. Then, there's the imprint."
"Yeah…the imprint."
"I wish we had an explanation. I'm so relieved that I don't have to worry about losing him, but…"
"You're a person that works partly on logic, and so you need rationalization to feel as ease."
I nodded, but didn't answer.
"Bella?"
"Yeah, Jake?"
"If Sam's theory is right and if I hadn't imprinted on Katie and if we'd gotten pregnant ourselves and I imprinted on you, would you have been happy? Do you think we could have been happy?"
"Jake, that's a lot of 'ifs'. Plus, we can't live in the 'what ifs'. We'd go crazy."
"I know you're right. I just can't help but wonder."
"I think we would have been – happy that is. I loved you, Jacob Black. But it wasn't meant to be for us. Now we're both happy with other people."
"Knock, knock," a voice from the door said. I looked over to see a nurse holding a food tray. "I've got lunch for Miss Swan."
"Thank you," I told her.
"Not a problem, enjoy."
She left and the heavy conversation went with her. The rest of the time with Jacob passed by with light chatting. I fed Lilly with an amused smile, while an uncomfortable Jacob stared out the window with extreme concentration.
Quil returned, checking Lilly and I over for any changes. Jacob stayed a few minutes longer to chat with Quil, and then he left.
Two hours later, a knock on the door sounded. Emily and Sam entered a moment later.
"Hey, guys," I greeted them.
"Morning," Sam said, Emily smiled.
"Sam, Emily," Quil said.
"Where's the little one?" Emily asked.
"She's getting her last minute checks. We get discharged in an hour or so," I answered.
"Well, you both look so content. Did the results come yet?" Emily asked.
"No, not yet," Quil said.
"Well, I have a pretty good idea what they'll say," Sam said mysteriously.
"Why do you say that?" I asked.
"I found something, in the readings. It was so minor, I'd never really paid attention to it before – as I'm sure no one else has. With all the larger events surrounding it, it was easy to skip over."
"What are you talking about, Sam?"
"In the readings that are fore brothers kept, I found a small notation that I think you'll find of great importance."
"Cut the crap, Sam. Just tell us what it said," Quil said, impatient.
"You know the story of the first Cold One and then the subsequent story of the Third Wife."
"Yes, of course," Quil said, and I nodded.
"After finding two women dead, the Makahs called upon the wolves – one being Yaha Uta, Taha Aki and his third wife's eldest son. While in Makah, the woman he'd taken as his wife – not his imprint – gave birth to their first child. After destroying the Cold One, he returned. In the wake of the events – the death of his younger brother and the mystery still surrounding the Cold One – a certain occurrence went with little notice. Upon returning and meeting his son, he suddenly felt a new level of love and devotion to his wife."
"He imprinted? What did they say about that? Did they find out why it happened?" Quil asked, anxious.
Sam shook his head. "The note in the reading was small, only stating the new feelings with no explanation for them. I'm sure more would have been invested in finding the meaning of the unexplained feelings, but the mate of the Cold One showed up and Yaha Uta was killed."
"You think the same thing happened with us?" I asked.
"I do. It appears when a match our ancestors did not plan themselves turns out to be conducive to good mating, they allow the imprint to occur despite other plans they may or may not have had."
"I'm sorry I don't have more information or a real explanation. I can only tell you it seems to have happened before. And as I know some of the blood running through our bodies comes from Yaha Uta's blood line, through his only son, I think we can rest assured that the imprint is backed well."
"That sounds like good news. Thank you for sharing that with us, Sam," I said, grateful.
"Not a problem, Bella. I'm glad everything seems to have worked out so well."
"Me too."
"And if Lilly's not mine, what would explain the imprint?"
"That I don't know, Quil. I honestly don't have the slightest clue."
"You don't think they would ever recant an imprint, do you?"
"No, Quil, I don't. I'd rather think our ancestors not so cruel. I fear revoking an imprint, after already having those ties established, would nearly kill a wolf."
Quil nodded solemnly. "Thanks, Sam. I really appreciate you doing that research for us."
"Wish I had more."
"No, Sam, really – it's a lot more than we'd have without you," I assured him.
"Well, we need to go. We're heading to Makah to spend the night and tomorrow with my family," Emily said.
"Of course, we don't want to keep you. Have a nice time."
"Thanks, Bella. We'll see you soon, I'm sure."
"Bye, guys," Sam said.
"Bye," Quil and I said together.
Sam and Emily left the room, leaving it silent. Quil and I sat lost in our thoughts. I hoped the legends applied here. Though, we didn't even know for sure of the reasoning behind Yaha Uta's sudden feelings or if they were even that of an imprint.
A knock at the door broke our quiet solitude.
"Come in," I said after a second. The door opened and my doctor shuffled through, his head reading something on the clipboard in his hands all the while. Reaching the bedside, he lifted his head with a small smile.
"Good afternoon, Miss Swan, Mr. Ateara."
"Good afternoon, Dr. Jackson," I greeted.
"I thought you'd want the results as soon as the lab finished."
"Yes," I breathed out. I looked at Quil, but his eyes were focused on Dr. Jackson, as if he could read the answer in the doctor's eyes.
"Well, I believe it's good news." I waited for a second, assuming he'd read the results with more than that opener.
"And that would be…" Quil drifted off.
"Oh sorry, right," he said. The doctor looked back down at the paper and read, "With 99.9 percent certainty, I call tell you Mr. Quil Ateara is Lilliana Raegan Nayeli Ateara's biological father."
I felt all the air in my lungs swoosh out with pure relief and joy. I looked at the doctor, waiting for something else. I wasn't sure what I was waiting for, but what he said seemed too good to be true without something following it.
I looked up at Quil to find his gaze centered on mine already. He wore a small smile and I could see his eyes welling up, the same as mine.
"She's mine," he said, the smile growing.
"She's completely yours."
"I love you so much, Bella, with everything I am. Without you, I don't even want to know what kind of guy I'd be right now. Not the man I am, I know. I owe my life to you, baby. And I promise to always take care of both of you exactly the way you deserve." I noticed the doctor slide out the room quietly.
"I love you too, Quil. I just – I just can't believe it's all working out."
"We deserve it, Bella. You deserve this and so much more. Nothing can get in our way anymore, don't you see? It's you, Lilly and me forever."
"I know. I can't wait for it to start."
"We don't have to wait," he said, lowering to the ground. "And we shouldn't. I think our daughter needs her mother to share the same last name. And as I've been wanting that for quite some time myself. Isabella Marie Swan, I'll love you until the end of time and even there after, so will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?"