Chapter 35

I woke up before sunrise in a cold sweat. In my dream, I'd been looking in the woods for Edward, but instead I found Tyler and a woman with red curly hair. They tied me to a tree and I screamed Edward's name. Fortunately I hadn't actually screamed - Renee told me I sometimes talked in my sleep - because Charlie wasn't there. That is to say, he was snoring in his bedroom.

Before calling Jacob, I'd pretty much decided to tell nobody but him about overhearing Tyler and Victoria talk about drug smuggling in the woods. The only reason I even told Jake was because I knew he wouldn't judge, or try to get me to tell Charlie. But now, it seemed my subconscious at least wasn't done fretting.

So I pulled out my cell phone and sent Tyler a text. Can I talk to you before school?

I wasn't expecting a response for at least another hour, so I was shocked when minutes later my phone buzzed. In person?

Yes. Just meet me in my backyard?

Be there in 10, he answered.

I pulled on some warmer clothes and started the coffee machine - it was set to go off in 40 minutes.

So I had a cup of extremely milky coffee in my hands as I walked to my favorite tree. It was nice and warm in my hands, although too hot yet to drink. I tried sipping a tiny amount successfully just as Tyler pulled up in the Jaguar that Jacob had described. At least, it had the little jumping wildcat on the hood, so I assumed that's what it was.

"Wow, that's not conspicuous," I said, almost dumbstruck.

"What the hell do you want, Bella," he said quickly. It was obvious why he'd been up this early - he'd never gone to bed. His eyes were bloodshot and his nostrils were encrusted with white gunk. I hoped he'd clean up before school.

"Is that Victoria's car?" I asked, nodding at it.

Cocaine makes you paranoid. "How the hell do you know Victoria?"

"I don't. I have a friend in La Push." At his confused look, I added, "She tried breaking into the market there three years ago."

"She never mentioned it," he snapped. "How do you know that name?"

I told him about the Cullens playing baseball in the woods, and that he might want to pick a different spot to meet her next time.

"We meet at a different locale each time. In case of hikers," he sneered.

"I didn't tell the Cullens. Or my dad," I said, to his visible relief.

"Then why did you need to see me so damn bad?"

I sipped my coffee. It was at the perfect temperature now. "You know, blackmail is an ugly word."

"I didn't mention blackmail!" he protested.

"Yeah, but I'm about to blackmail you, so I thought I'd bring it up."

"Oh Jesus fuckin' Christ Bella, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying I want another gram of black tar."

His face relaxed again when he heard that. "I don't have it on me right now, but -"

"I don't want it right now," I informed him. "But I might in the future. So you know, just make sure to hang on to one for me. And I might want another one after that a few months later. You know how it is."

He grinned anyway. He still seemed to think he was getting off easy. "Yeah, sure, no problem at all. Just um, just text me a code word, like um..." he trailed off.

"Sparkly," I said.

"'Sparkly'? That's what you want for the code word? OK, OK, sure, sure." He shrugged exaggeratedly. "I ever get a text from you with the word 'sparkly' in it, I hook you up. No problem. No problem at all," he repeated.

"Good. I'm glad we could have this talk," I replied. "Are you driving that to school?"

"Of course not," he snapped. "I'm giving Conner weed to drive me around town till I get the other one back. But he's not up yet."

"OK, ok. Well see you there."

I went back inside and sat at the kitchen table with the morning paper. I still felt really weird, and then Charlie came downstairs, freshly showered.

"You're up early, Bells!"

"Hey Dad. Had a bad dream."

"What happened?"

"I was looking for Edward in the woods, but I got kidnapped instead," I said honestly.

He ruffled my hair. "You'll see him at school, don't worry."

True enough. I handed over the paper and went upstairs to shower. But my stupid sensitivity to caffeine! The hot water didn't help my heartrate either. Normally I would have taken a Xanax when I felt like that, but after Tyler something else was on my mind. I rushed into my room and grabbed what I needed, then rushed back into the bathroom. Since Charlie was still home, it was smarter to run the fan to hide the inevitable smell when I boiled the water.

I also noticed that after showering, my veins were even more prominent, and bit my lip. I'd never ever done that. James had talked about how stupid it was to shoot up into a vein, when muscle or skin-popping were almost as good. Even after I started smoking it he made me promise never to mainline.

My hands were trembling as I drew the dark liquid into the needle. I put the cap back on, sighed, then pulled the cap out and hit my hip like I always had before. The whole four times I'd done it. It was still early enough that I could nod out, and Charlie wouldn't be suspicious about that after hearing I'd had a nightmare. And since I'd already showered, I could reset my alarm thirty minutes later.

While I was doing that, Charlie yelled, "See you tonight Bells! Love you!"

"Love you too Dad!" I wasn't quite high yet. I put on some music from the CD that Edward made me and tried to take calming breaths. The drug kicked in slowly at first, but I'd taken more than I usually did, and the pink cloud fogged up my brain almost completely. I remembered all of a sudden how I actually had in fact had morphine shot into me by Edward Cullen, and had to laugh. I imagined having a conversation with him about it, almost in a dream-like state.

I was feeling more sober by the time my alarm went off.