A/N And we are back with chapter 36! Merry belated Christmas, and Happy New Year in advance. Also, thank you to Prince Itzal for your awesome suggestion.
Chapter 36 – Mischief, Marriage and Pregnancies
Natasha: Steve and Tony should be back any minute.
Clint: Yeah, I'm on my way to their house right now
Loki: Ehehehehehe
Natasha: My mischief senses are tingling.
Natasha: What did you do now, Loki?
Steve: Loki will be tingling when I am done with him!
Steve: *angry Steve face*
Loki: I could say the same about Tony
Loki: *smirks*
Clint: Hey, you guys are back!
Clint: . . .
Clint: Someone want to tell me why Tony is crying rn?
Natasha: Tony is crying?
Clint: Well, curled up in a ball on his bed. He told me to go away.
Tony: . . .
Natasha: What's wrong, Tony?
Tony: I'm fat D:
Natasha: . . .
Natasha: I thought something terrible had happened.
Tony: Don't mock me, this is serious
Tony: I'm pregnant!
Natasha: . . .
Clint: . . .
Clint: dafuq
*a few weeks earlier*
Coulson: Hey guys, congratulations on your wedding!
Steve: Thank you, Phil. So glad you were able to make it :)
Tony: Yeah, what with all your secret spy stuff and all.
Coulson: Did you like the gift my team got you?
Tony: Yes, a baby's crib, so hilarious
Coulson: Glad you like it. Enjoy your honeymoon; I have to get back to my secret spy stuff.
Coulson: *flies away in Lola*
Loki: I am confused. Why is his gift hilarious?
Tony: Ask your brother. I am so not giving you The Talk.
Clint: Let me break it down for you, Loks – two guys cannot have babies.
Loki: Why not? They copulate, is that not how babies are made?
Clint: . . . let's just say it's not within the realms of possibility.
Loki: Not within your realm, certainly . . .
Steve: Well, bye everyone, Tony and I are off to our honeymoon.
Sam: Where are you guys going again?
Tony: Somewhere warm, sunny and top secret
Loki: Before you go, allow me to give you your wedding present.
Tony: Our wedding was a few weeks ago . . .
Loki: Well, I wasn't invited, was I?
Tony: . . .
Loki: You will find your gift upon your bed.
Steve: It's a . . . bottle of perfume?
Loki: No, it is a potion. It's pink because it is a love potion.
Steve: But we're already in love . . .
Loki: Not that type of love. Ehehehehe.
Tony: So it's a lust potion? Well, we also have plenty of that, but thanks Loki.
Loki: Enjoy your trip.
Loki: Ehehehehe
*present moment*
Steve: Loki, want to tell me what was really in that potion of yours?
Natasha: I've got this
Natasha: Literally, I'm holding Loki upside down by his ankles
Loki: Hwo eca i txt lje this/
Natasha: Fine, you're back on your feet now
Loki: Thank you. Anyway, Agent Coulson's gift got me thinking.
Loki: And thinking got me scheming.
Steve: Get to the part where you tell me what's going on and then I kick your ass
Loki: Funny you should mention that word
Loki: If a man drinks the potion he gains the ability to fall pregnant.
Tony: . . . Steve drank it too
Loki: Well, I suppose that answers my question of who "tops" in your relationship XD
Tony: Oh I will kill you.
Steve: . . . um
Tony: What's wrong?
Steve: During our honeymoon, remember that time when we, you know, switched?
Tony: Duh, best shower I ever had ;)
Tony: wait
Tony: does this mean . . .?
Steve: I'm pregnant too
Tony: . . .
Tony: *is screaming*
Steve: *is also screaming*
Natasha: Whoa, hold up.
Natasha: Both Steve and Tony are actually pregnant? From drinking your little magic potion?
Loki: That is correct. Well, they gained the ability to fall pregnant from my potion. The rest was up to them *smirks*
Tony: Ohmigod. Ohmigod.
Tony: *rocks silently*
Tony: Is it . . . reversible? Wait, isn't that like an abortion?
Loki: I suppose it would be.
Steve: Tony, I know this is the craziest thing to ever happen to us, but we're actually in a position to raise kids. . . and they're actually ours, biologically.
Tony: . . .
Tony: Are you saying we should go with this? Actually go with one of Loki's tricks for once?
Steve: We're already married, why not?
Tony: . . .
Tony: What if the babies come out looking like Loki? That would be a nightmare.
Loki: I can assure you, the children you are carrying are yours.
Tony: This is just hella weird
Natasha: Way to be open-minded, Tony
Tony: I'm not. . . it's just. . . wow. I'm the first man in the world to be pregnant.
Natasha: Actually, Thomas Beatie was.
Tony: . . . well, then I'm the first male superhero to get pregnant
Natasha: Yeah, I guess you have that going for you.
Steve: I guess we should announce it to everybody. . .?
Tony: Good point. I'll send a group text.
Tony: Steve and I are preggers. You're all invited to our baby shower.
Rhodey: Tony stop bothering me at work
Bruce: Are you adopting?
Thor: You are with child? Did Loki do this?
Wanda: Congratulations. Now you two are the weird ones.
Sam: Holy crap. This is a prank, right? . . .right?
Pietro: I did not see that coming.
Tony: . . .
Tony: Well that went well.
Clint: I guess Coulson's gift will come in handy after all XD
Tony: Shut up, Clint.
Steve: Wait, how come Tony and I are showing already?
Loki: It was a MAGIC potion, after all.
Loki: Once you fell pregnant you became instantly ready for birth.
Loki: It's like an insta-pregnancy.
Tony: I really want to insta-punch you.
Tony: I completely forgot that we have to give birth.
Clint: Wow.
Tony: What did I say about shutting up?
Loki: But I still haven't told you the best part! XD
Steve: There's more?
Tony: TELLL MEEEEEEEEE
Loki: Well, you see-
xxXxx
A/N *cliffhanger!*