Author's Note: So, I have a BIG shout out to Revanite201. He SERIOUSLY helped me with this chapter when I hit the brick wall known as writers block. I know where I want this story to go, it's just GETTING it there. While I love filler chapters, they are the bane of my

To My Loyal Fans:I wanted to take this time to thank you ALL for your kind words and continued support. Without you, John and Kitty's relationship would have never made it this far. The more reviews I get, the more inspired I become, and for this, I thank you. It is because of your great devotion that I open this opportunity to you. For a long time I have been debating on changing the description of this story to a scene from within the story that would capture a potential reader's attention. If there are any lines that you absolutely love, send me a P.M. or post the Sentence it in a comment, it can't be anymore than 385 characters long. The best candidates will be posted in chapters to come followed by an opportunity to vote for them via Review and P.M. A forewarning, I am VERY picky when it comes to this sort of thing, so make it a good one! :)

Disclaimer: The song from which this title was inspired from belongs to Daughtry (Waiting for Superman). The X-Men movie verse from which this came belongs to Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Marvel, 20th Century Fox and now Disney. I own nothing but my idea behind this story. They created this sandbox, I just play in it. :)

Chapter 36

Waiting for an X-Man

Kitty lay on her bed, her arms tucked behind her head as she stared at the ceiling. The moonlight filtered into her room as silhouettes of raindrops scampered across her lithe from her bedroom window. Her mind was filled with confusion. She was happy that John had returned to the mansion, but fear clutched at her like a vice grip, re-opening the oozing, festering wound of his defection. 'I had finally begun to let him go,' She reflected tensely to herself. 'And then he returns and tries to act like nothing ever happened!'

She wanted to hate him with every fiber of her being. She wanted to have the urge to beat him senseless for what he had done. She knew she should and by all means everyone knew Kitty had more right to do so than anyone else at the mansion but couldn't bring herself to do such things. In her mind, so much had changed; in her heart everything was still the same. He was everything to her. He was her rock and she loved him fiercely with everything she had. When nothing about her ability made and sense he was there. When she cried, he was the one who had wiped away the tears. He fought away all her fears and illumined the darkest corners of her mind with his flame.

Tears began to fall, staining her pillow and soaking her hair. She wanted more than anything to simply wake up from the horrible dream that had now become her reality and find herself back in the arms of John on their first night together.

But fate was never kind.

Violent sobs rocked her very core as she curled into a tight ball, using her pillow to muffle the agonizing cries. 'He wasn't there!' Her mind screamed bitterly as the tears began to burn like acid. ' He didn't see me as I mourned my love for him!' Kitty balled her fist as the emotional pain began to manifest to physical. When he left, she had lost a part of what made her whole. He had destroyed her so badly that when she looked in the mirror a figure she didn't recognize returned her gaze with a blank stare. He had stolen her fire without ever using his gift. It had taken months to rebuild what she had lost and now that he was back she wanted to protect the flickering candle as it danced dangerously in the wind. He was the piece of her she desperately wished she didn't need. The future possibility of a relationship balanced delicately on a fine line. Kitty wanted to cave in, and try to start over, but she was unsure if she could ever trust him with the tender organ again. She just couldn't understand how someone with the ability to control fire could be so cold.

The soft pitter-patter of rain filled his ears as he sat on a tanning chair beneath the protection of the Pagoda. He had many memories of the gazebo, all of them revolved around Kitty. As he gazed out at the wet grass he laughed at the memory of when she had forced him to dance in the dense down pour.

It was the middle of September after they had attended the concert. The weather had been very unusual that year as the rain had been pouring all day with no sign of letting up. John was sitting in his room, nose deep in his notebook when Kitty phased through his door, startling him.

"Jesus Kitty, you scared the living shit outta me." He grumbled in frustration as he tried to fix the line that now crossed his poem.

"Where is it? We'll make a million off of it!" She zinged with her song like giggle before grabbing his hand.

John tried to protest, but she had already phased the two of them through the floor, tossing him a jacket he hadn't even notice her grab. "Put this on."

"I am not going out there!" Pyro argued. "It's raining cats and dogs!"

"Um, I hate to crush your hopes and reams of owning a dog, but least I check it was just falling water." She teased earning an eye roll from him. She was on a roll. "Come on! Your acting like a chicken!"

"I promise you I am anything but!" He retorted. Kitty began to imitate a chicken further annoying him. "Knock it off."

"Go outside."

"No." She bocked again, this time flapping her arm like the animal. John rolled his eyes as he reached for her. "That's it!"

With a squeal the younger Mutant Phased through the sliding glass door. John threw his jacket around his shoulders and threw open the threshold, chasing her out into the rain. The ground beneath their feet sloshed as they sprinted across the grounds.

"You're dead Pryde!" He laughed as he reached for her. With a squeal she spun away from his grasp causing him to nearly lose his balance on the wet soil. He looked up at her retreating form once he regained his footing. The sight of her took his breath away causing time to slow. She was absolutely stunning. Her hair was drenched in long strings as she held her arms out, spinning without a care in the world. A laugh that could rival those of the angels filled his ears.

He smiled from ear to ear as he approached her. Catching her off guard, he wrapped his arms around her waist holding her close. Her hazel orbs captured his as he pulled her close, their lips meeting in blissful surrender. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as she dug her slender fingers deep into his chestnut mane, darkened from the rain. Their tongues danced across each other's for a moment before he drew back, the sun beginning to filter through the clouds as rain continued to drizzle. The soft light illuminated the blissful features of Kitty's face. A smirk entertained his lips as he dropped a kiss onto her damp nose. "Gotcha."

The bright and vivid memory a blatant contradiction to the darkened sky that now loomed overhead. Leaning forward, John placed his head in his hands. 'What have I done?' He questioned with despair. He now knew he had screwed up any chance of a future with Kitty the moment he stepped onto that helicopter. Kitty was the clarity he had always searched for amidst the chaos he had called his life. Now that she was no longer in his life, he had never felt so lost. He never realized just how much pain he had caused her until Bobby had confronted him.

Bobby burst through the door to his bedroom, a look of rage that John had never seen cross his features before. He stood before the fire wielding mutant, huffing with anger.

"Can I help you?" John demanded lazily as he looked up from his writing.

"Where do you get off?" Iceman spat.

"Excuse me?" He exasperated as he slammed the spiral shut, getting to his feet.

"Do you have any idea of the hell you put that woman through?" Bobby inquired as he stepped closer to his former friend. "You weren't here John! You didn't get to see how much your defection tore her apart!"

Pyro's features hardened as he stared down the other Mutant. His voice was calm as he spoke. "Get out of my face."

"You weren't there for the nights when she would cry out in her sleep for you!" Bobby continued, ignoring the request, with fury in his cobalt eyes. "You weren't the one trying to convince her to eat. No, you were off on some petty personal bullshit playing lapdog with Magneto while we stayed behind to pick up the shattered pieces. And suddenly you show up and try to take advantage of her?"

"Wait, what?" John asked in confusion, "I haven't touched her!"

"You tried to kiss her John!" Bobby roared so loud he was sure it shook the mansion. "Your toying with her emotions, like you toy with everyone else!"

"You don't have a fucking clue how I feel about her! I love that girl more than anything!" John snapped with ferocity as he brought his face inches from the other Mutant's, fighting the urge to punch his pearly white teeth in. instead he pulled up the sleeve of his black shirt, pointing to the tender inside of his elbow. "I would inject the cure into my own vein right now if she asked me to! Which is more than I can say for you about Rogue!"

"Shut the fuck up." Bobby retorted, his voice strong but the command fell weak against Pyros inferno of rage.

"What's the matter Ice sickle dick? You can dish it, but can't take it when someone throws the truth back into your own face?" John hollered as he held out his arms. "It's no secret that you've always liked Kitty. I've seen the way you always looked at her. It must burn you up that she chose a guy like me over your perfect pretty boy status."

"I've never liked as anything more than a friend!"

"Oh yeah? Then why are you here acting like some jealous boyfriend?" Silence fell quickly between the two as the truth behind John's accusation hung between them.

"Because she's my friend." Bobby replied sternly, his voice significantly quieter.

"Could have fooled me." John spat before grabbing his leather jacket from the back of the chair. His shoulder collided with Bobby's as he stormed out of his room, leaving a stunned Iceman in his wake.

The Pyromaniac knew the only way Bobby could have gotten the information of the kiss was from either Kitty or Rogue, and he guessed the latter. To some degree he felt guilty for exposing Bobby at Rogue's expense, even if she wasn't around to hear it.

The hot head wasn't stupid, he realized that what Iceman had told him wasn't even a quarter of what he had put her through, but when he left he never expected her to take his defection as hard as she did. The thought alone, of what she must have felt tore him apart at the seams. He couldn't stand the thought of hurting her again.

He exhaled a shaky breath as the tears finally began to slide down his face. He never wanted to hurt her so deeply again. 'I won't.' he thought with veracity as he wiped the tears away. 'I'll never do that to her again.' Guilt washed over John as he let his mind wonder to the possibilities of what could have been, watching the rain fall in sheets.

John sat in the office of Ororo, the tips of his fingers pressed against one another as his leg thumped like a rabbit. Two days had passed since the incident with Bobby in his bedroom and now he feared for his freedom once more. Storm had sent a note to his room via a student, summoning him into the office. He had been waiting for nearly twenty minuets before she came into the room, a black laptop bag slung over her shoulder and in her hand a manila envelope with John's name scribbled across it in a signature he did not recognize.

"I am so sorry to have kept you waiting." A frazzled Storm apologized as she took her seat. "I've been on the phone all morning pulling favors and then a freshman thought it would be funny to cause an explosion in the west wing bathroom."

"Sounds like someone's been busy." John let loose a throaty chuckle. He knew Storm well enough to realize that his fears were not coming true at that moment. "I hope it wasn't too bad."

"No, but we are going to have to replace a toilet." Ororo smiled as she shook her head, adjusting some of the loose paperwork. Once she seemed satisfied she folded her hands, looking the Youngman in the eye. "I suppose your wondering why I summoned you here."

John shrugged as he leaned back in his chair, placing his ankle on his knee as he lazily draped his arm across the back. "I figured it was because you wanted to discuss toilet explosions."

"Close, but not quite." Storm laughed lightheartedly. John had always been one of her favorite students and she was very sad when he had left. When he had first arrived he had come from a life so broken, it pained her heart. She vowed to help in in anyway she could and as a result became a sort of surrogate mother for him. When they had to face him at the Battle of Alcatraz it broke her heart. When they returned with him she feared for his life and when he recovered she noticed just how much the rebellious boy had grown into a manageable man. She could see that something changed within the hotheaded Mutant that day. He had a long way to go, but only life would bring about those changes. Which is why she had wanted to see him. "I have proposition for you."

John eyed her cautiously. "What kind of proposition?"

Storm didn't say a word as she slid him the manila envelope atop the black bag. Dropping his foot he leaned forward and opened the envelope. His brow furrowed in confusion as he pulled out the contents of the thick paper.

Inside was a record of every shot he had ever received, a bundle of foreign currency adding up to nearly three thousand U.S. Dollars, six-tourist visa's, a passport with nearly 60 blank pages and twenty-seven Airline tickets neatly held together with a thick red, rubber band.

John looked up from the contents confusion across his face. "What's all this?"

"A proposal." Came the simple reply.

"To what? Kick me out of the country?"

"If what Psylocke tells me is true, you will always have a home here." Storm chuckled at his shocked expression. "I have spent most of the morning on the phone, pulling many different favors and strings for this. What you have in your hand is merely an opportunity to put your writing skills to good use."

"I'm not quite sure I follow." John conveyed with confusion.

"Have you ever heard of a man named J. Jonah Jameson?" Storm questioned.

John thought hard for a moment. "Isn't he the asshole who owns The Daily Bugle?"

"Yes, yes he is." Storm smiled. "And I happen to know that his wife keeps his balls in a blender if you know what I mean."

"Oh." John winced as he covered himself. "That poor bastard!"

Storm laughed deeply before quickly regained her professional composure. "I know his wife personally. With her help, I managed to convince him to give you a job writing your own column in the travel section of the paper."

John's face lit up brighter than the sun. "Are you shitting me?"

"Nope. You'll get to travel the world, writing for the Daily Bugle."

"How much does it pay?"

"The cheapskate only wanted to pay you $10,000, but I wouldn't let him do that to you. Once he saw a sample of your work, I threatened him with moving to the New York Times and his tune soon changed." Storm paused, knowing that John was hanging by the edge of his seat. "You'll be paid $30,000 over the course of this year."

John placed his hands on his head in shock, leaping from his seat as he paced in front of Ororo, his happiness bursting at the seams. "Yes, yes a thousand times yes!"

That was more than most of the established Journalists made, as the average was usually anywhere from $15,000 to $25,000 if you were lucky enough to have gone to college. For someone who had only a GED it was incredible amount of money. As the happiness flooded his body, his fathers drunken words suddenly came back to him, killing his high. 'Nothing comes for free Johnny Boy. Everything has a price.' The look on Storm's face told him he hadn't heard the entire offer. His arms fell to his sides as he swallowed hard. "What's the catch?"

"You'll leave today," The Weather Witch sighed deeply, knowing he wasn't about to like what she had to say. "And won't be back for an entire year."

The Pyromaniac rubbed his face as he groaned. 'This can't be happening.' He had already left for a year before. What was worse? Kitty and the other X-Men were in Mexico aiding with security against harmful protesters for the build of the border and weren't due back for another few weeks. "There's no way he could wait?"

Storm shook her head sorrowfully. "I tried to convince him to let you come back stateside every few weeks, or at least wait until the others returned but after all the demands I had made, he said it was now or never. A year or nothing."

His chest heaved a sigh as he ran a hand through his chestnut hair. It was the best place to start in order to get his foot in the door of Journalism. He knew this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and he needed to take it. "Okay."

Here he was, leaving her once again.

"I'll make the call."

Twenty minuets later John stood in Kitty's vacant room, with two bags slung over his shoulder. One was his new 15-Inch MacBook Pro with Retina display provided by the Bugle, which was his to keep after his year was up. The other was two weeks worth of clothing and personal hygiene essentials. In his hand he clutched an envelope with Kitty's name scrawled across it in his handwriting. He had only minuets before he needed to leave for the airport, but had wanted to say one last goodbye.

The faint fragrance of her Curve Crush perfume combined with an essence that was purely Kitty filled his nose as he inhaled deeply. One of the perks of becoming an X-Men was gaining a bedroom with your own personal bathroom. Her room had changed entirely, but still held the trademarks that were Kitty. 'This time, things will be different.' He silently vowed. From down the hall he could hear the clicking of Storms boots as she approached.

"You ready?" She asked gently, standing in the doorway behind him.

He swallowed hard as he adjusted the heavy bags on his shoulder. He placed the envelope to his lips before setting it against her pillow. He turned to face Ororo, fighting the tears that threatened to blur his vision. "Let's go."

"You should have seen the look on your face when we told him you that you had to eat it!" Kitty laughed at the memory of Colossus and herself ruthlessly picking on Bobby back at the hotel in Nogales, Arizona.

"Yeah Iceman, you wouldn't be so cold about it if you had!" The massive mutant laughed as he clasped his teammate on the shoulder with a heavy hand.

"Well," Kitty said as she stiffed a yawn when they approached the junction in the hallway. "I'm beat and have a date with my bed. Goodnight guys."

The boys said their farewell before parting ways as Kitty phased through her door. With an exhausted sigh she tossed her bag carelessly to the side. 'I'll unpack later.' She reasoned with herself as she began to strip out of her Classic All Star Converse. 'It's not like it's going anywhere.'

Because the original SR-71 Blackbird that served as their X-Jet had been disintegrated by Jean at the Battle of Alcatraz, an organization by the name of S.H.I.E.L.D gave them another, the only explanation offered came from Director Fury himself stating that he owed Xavier a favor. Hank teamed up with a man by the name of Tony Stark and stripped the jet down only to build it back up with better technology and a bigger cabin. But even with all the upgrades made, nothing could combat the exhaustion of jetlag.

Once her shoes were removed, Kitty collapsed, fully clothed, onto the soft comfort of her own bed. 'Oh this was a bad idea.' She chided as sleep threatened to overtake her. 'Come on Kitty, you gotta get up.' She raised her hands high above her head, squealing as her muscles tensed in a relaxing stretch. She let out a sigh as she brought he hands back down to her sides. She turned her head to the left to look longingly at her pillow when she noticed a small thick envelope with her name written across it in a elegant, arching, script with just a hint of rebellion which had unmistakably come from Johns own hand.

Sitting up, she grabbed the dense pouch and tore it open, pulling out a single, neatly folded piece of cover paper and began to read what had been written, her hand clasping her mouth in shock.

My Sweet Kitten,

I will never be able to forgive myself for hurting the most important person in my life. It was the biggest mistake that I have ever made and I will forever be sorry about it. I know that sorry would never be anywhere close to enough to ease the pain and all the suffering I have caused you. It was too late when I realized how deeply I had hurt the one I love. Even if you won't believe me, this wasn't the way I was expecting it to turn out. I'm sorry and I'm deeply remorseful.

Hurting the person I love is one of the biggest, if not the most dreadful thing that I could have ever done. I've taken you for granted. You loved me well and deep and this is what I gave in return. You're the one who has always been there for me, even in my darkest hours you were there. You were the only person who was able to understand me. During Christmas, when all others have left me, you stayed and understood me through all my troubles. You were my best friend and my lover. You were my fire in the darkest of night. Even if I'll say sorry a hundred times, it won't be able to undo what I have done. It would never be able to erase the dreadful pain that you are feeling, even as you read this right now.

I love you still and I hate myself for putting you through all this pain. All the heartaches and the misery, you don't deserve it. You deserve to be loved and cherished for eternity. I'm sorry ... I don't know what else to say or to do to make everything all right. As the sun sets, another day is ahead of us. I'll be saying sorry forever until the sun sets on my final days, and then for the rest of eternity in the immortal afterlife. You used to be the sweet person that cared for me. Because of what I did, it changed you entirely. I'm sorry. I'll be wishing every single night to have everything back to the way it used to be.

And so, it is with a heavy heart that I write this letter. I have been given an opportunity and I need to take it. I still want to share a lifetime with you, I want it to be the way it used to be, but this is something I must do first, to establish a possible future for the both of us. I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

I don't expect you to wait for me, and never have. But day-by-day, I'll be waiting for you. I'll be waiting for the day that I will come home and hold you in my warm embrace. I'll be waiting for you to hold my hand and smile at me as if nothing bad has happened. I'll be waiting for your laughter that is sweeter than an Angel's song. I'll be waiting for my sweet Kitten. I'll be waiting even for eternity. Until then, I will confine my heart in misery. I'm sorry. I'm deeply sorry.

-John

The young Mutant let out a mangled cry as she phased through her bedroom door, tearing down the hall as fast as her legs would carry her, the letter still clutched tightly in her fist. Students gaped in awe after her, some yelling insults as she phased through them but she didn't care. As she reached his bedroom door, she didn't hesitate as she disappeared behind the barrier to an empty and bare room. Tears sprang into her eyes as she hit her knees, wrapping her arms around herself in a feeble attempt to keep herself together. Sobs washed over her as waves of agony that had long been suppressed crashed against her chest with each beat of her heart. Kitty knew it was silly, but she couldn't help it. She didn't realize how much she loved having him back, even if they hardly spoke, until he was gone. Her enclosed fist ponded painfully against the hardwood floor as she rocked back and fourth, her tears stinging her windburn cheeks like scorpions. Without having every consented to it, the fire manipulating Mutant had taken her heart with him once more.

John laid in the room of his hotel that night in Greenland, the ever present lighter clicking in the twilight. He toyed with the flame, calling it to dance around his hands. When the piercing silence became too much he grabbed his leather jacket and stepped into the frigid air. Shoving his hands deep into his pockets he walked down the wooden dock, surprised at how many tourists were still walking around. His feet led him to the end of the pier where leaned over the railing listening as the ocean waves crashed against the distant shore, the scent of salt from the sea reaching his nose. His mind was miles from where he was. It had remained in Winchester with Kitty.

"John, what re you doing?" He questioned out loud. "How the hell is this any different than it was before?"

But he knew how things had changed. This was a job, not a defection yet he couldn't shake the feeling that the situation was no better than it had been nearly a year and a half prior. With a defeated sigh, he turned to head back to the Hotel when a stand displaying various t-shirts and hats to his right caught his eye. 'Fuck it, I'm supposed to be playing tourist.'

As he approached the shop he browsed though the many Key chains and coffee mugs. On the outside he looked like a casual shopper, but on the inside a war raged between wanting to go through with the deal or returning to Kitty. As he approached the section with various decks of cards, a small stand caught his attention like a moth to a flame as a light bulb went off in his mind.

A wicked grin crossed his features as he pulled the small object from the shelf. 'I know how this time will be different.'

Author's Afterword: Sooo…. This chapter isn't the greatest… I'm kinda bummed I haven't gotten my usual flood of reviews and it's kind of thrown my passion off a bit. I'm hesitant to keep this story going. I just don't want to feel as though no one is reading. I don't care if it's a simple comment of "I love this" I love to read them. However, the more detailed, the better. It helps me grow as a writer and keeps my inspiration strong! So I ask you guys, what did you guys think? PLEASE let me know! It takes hours, sometimes days to write, and an only moment to review, but each one makes me so happy to see! And the best part? You don't have to be a member to do so!