Hey Everyone!
I'm still alive! And I'm so sorry that I've left you all without an update for too long! Please forgive me, I've had a whirlwind of a life lately, and I haven't been able to come back to this wonderful story I spent so much time, effort, and love into. But alas, here we are!
Thank you to everyone who still follows, favourites, and reviews this story. It means so much to me that after all these years, there are lots and lots of people still invested in this story! I'd also like to give my Super Special Shoutouts to my lovely reviewers: OneWhoReadsTooMuch, gossamermouse101, Anarchist's Lullaby, .2018, fishtrek, DeliciousAudrey, 3rd Bookworm, Emma, EmmWally, foreveradreamerinlife, Avid Reader, CenoriaISChachie, EraSwap, guest, Guest, sparkleerose, TheLonelyWitch, JelloJedi, and River. Thank you for always keeping me grounded and motivated with my work. I appreciate you all immensely.
Without further ado, enjoy!
P.S. I do not own anything related to Criminal Minds
"Don't you love late mornings?"
Penelope walked arm-in-arm with her fellow blonde as her and JJ enjoyed their late-morning coffee. They were both in a content place, with the team not having a current case, and also being allowed to come into work after nine thirty was a secret treat, and the team was truly indulging. Morgan had just arrived at his desk a few minutes after JJ was through the door, while Rossi wasn't even in the building yet. The team deserved a break, between the heavy cases, the personal investigation on the team, as well as helping Lou in finding her mother and bringing Noah Bennett down. They all were putting over one hundred percent in each task, and to the team, having a few hours to unwind, would do more good than harm with plenty of rest.
"You're telling me," JJ sipped her cup slowly. "It's nice to not have a heavy pace."
Garcia hummed in agreement. "Yeah, getting out, smelling the roses, all that cliché goody goodness."
"More like smelling the paint." JJ said, scrunching her nose at a specific wall.
Penelope nodded. "I thought there was something different about this wall this morning."
"Guess they're slowly retouching the place up."
"You'd think they'd start with a better colour," the tech analyst complained.
Jennifer nudged Penny with her elbow before speaking. "Not everyone has a wide range of rainbow like you do, Garcia."
Her purple lips smirked. "Ain't that the truth."
"By the way," JJ mentioned, slowly matching Garcia's already delayed pace, "I've been waiting for you to wear those shoes again. I love that colour on you."
The Perfect Purple Princess herself grinned with pride as she showed off her purple pumps.
"Got them on sale too."
"Are you kidding me, Penelope?" The two pushed the glass doors open, walking into the bullpen. "Where do you find these gems?"
The analyst shrugged. "Lil' ol' lucky me never reveals her tricks."
"Tricks?" Morgan said, his head popping up from his desk. "Baby Girl, if we're talking about tricks, you know I'm lookin' for a treat."
Her teeth peeked out from between her lips. "Chocolate Thunder, I am the treat."
"Easy now, don't you play with me, Mama."
Garcia tipped her head to the side. "Then what else am I gonna do with you?"
"I'm sure you'll imagine something crazy, Garcia." Derek couldn't keep the smile off his face.
"Oh, crazy isn't the exact word I was going for, but we'll go with it."
JJ was laughing when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Retrieving the item, she saw that it was Spencer calling her phone.
"Oh? Is that Reid?" Garcia asked, knowing it was. "If it is, tell him that he shouldn't come in today. He's got to focus on helping Lucy get her mom back."
Derek smirked. "Or spend all day in bed. Something I wished I did today."
Accepting the call, JJ put the phone between all three of them. "You're on speaker, Reid."
When she didn't hear an immediate response, she thought it was a technical difficulty. But only until she could hear Reid's soft sniffles on the other end of the line is when JJ knew that something wasn't alright.
"Spence?" JJ asked, catching the concern of both Garcia and Morgan. "Is everything okay?"
She heard his stuttered sigh before speaking.
"Elena's… gone."
Garcia gasped, her expression matching JJ's and Derek's shocked face.
"What do you mean 'gone'?" Derek asked, a hint of panic in his voice. He stood up from his chair, absolutely terrified.
"She—" All three of them could hear anger and heartache in his voice. "—I left the room and came back and she was gone."
JJ's first instinct was to be angry. Had Noah taken her?
"Do you think it was Bennett?"
"No." It was a harsh, definitive no.
"Reid, how do you know—"
"She left a note. She and Emily ran off to stop Bennett on their own."
The three agents listening to their friend realized not only the severity of the situation, but how misleading Lou was in stopping Noah Bennett. The professor had enlisted the help of a former top-ranked spy, the same spy who had a history of going after dangerous men, and barely made it out alive. They were all there when they thought they lost their friend. Penelope and Derek went through mourning Emily, accepting the fact that she had passed on. Jennifer still felt agony over losing her friend, and although JJ knew she was alive, she thought she'd never see Emily again. It was a painful memory to the team, something that they might not be able to go through once more.
But the team didn't think that they would lose Lou.
Lou, the extremely intelligent woman who stole the heart of each member of the team. Lou, who somehow found herself as the unofficial member, was cared for immensely, was loved greatly by each person that had the opportunity to love her. Lou, who was putting her life in jeopardy, just so that the people she loved wouldn't be in the line of fire. Penelope wanted to drop to her knees and cry. Derek wanted to hop on a plane. JJ, although never violent, felt the need to roundhouse kick Noah Bennett's face in that exact moment.
But they all had a job to do.
A new case to work on.
Probably one of the most important cases that they'll ever work on.
"I'll tell Hotch," JJ spoke into the phone.
"I'll set up a case file A.S.A.P." Garcia said, turning towards her lair.
Morgan was already grabbing his jacket. "Where are you, Reid?"
His voice was small in his response. "Elena's."
"Why haven't you left—"
"I can't leave Dexter alone."
The three of them looked to one another, realizing what that sentence really meant.
I don't want to leave the closest connection I have to her.
"Hang tight, kid. I'll be there soon."
JJ watched the happiness that Garcia had just moments before fly right off her face. The worry that she had become accustomed to seeing from all her team members showed up between Garcia's furrowed brows and despairing look. Derek's worry, however, came from his stone-cold features, his sharp jaw that was betraying his clenched teeth. He looked worried, but he looked upset as well. She watched as Derek's footsteps were practically pounding off of the floor with each step. JJ knew she had to tell Hotch and Rossi as soon as possible, but she also knew that if she didn't speak to Derek in that moment, he'd let the anger he was feeling take reign. Morgan flung the glass door open, wide enough for JJ to catch it before it closed.
"Morgan," she called out, stopping the agent in his tracks.
He turned to his friend, not bothering to hide his frustration.
"How could she do this?" Derek was pacing in front of the elevator, clearly agitated. "How could she turn her back on us?"
"She didn't." JJ reminded him. "She just wants to protect us."
"Lou knew there was a better way than this. We told her we'll help her, no matter what. Yet, she was still planning this all along, just lying through her teeth."
"Derek-"
"She knows we're family, JJ. How could she do this to her family?"
"It's because we're family." The blonde agent was matching Derek's anger. "Wouldn't you do anything to protect your family, even if that meant hurting them?"
He took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts.
"There was a better way to handle this, JJ. It's one thing to do it to us, but to Reid… you heard him, JJ. He sounds completely broken."
"You think Lou's not the same?"
Their conversation ended with the arrival of the elevator. Morgan walked into the elevator, pressing the ground floor button harshly.
"Derek," JJ said softly, trying to diffuse the situation. "We can be angry at Lou later. Right now, we just need to focus on bringing her home."
"Before or after she gets herself killed?" He asked rhetorically, letting the elevator doors shut,
JJ felt helpless. She noticed how easily Noah Bennett was destroying her family. But what she also noticed was how the team would willingly give their all to make sure Lou was home safe. JJ wished she had taken five minutes to talk to Lou. The last time she looked at her dear friend, the professor was hanging on by a thread, no matter how well she hid it. It was a new trait JJ was beginning to see about Lou; how well she could conceal any and all indication as to what she was up to. She knew that Lou would have done something drastic, but after realizing Lou had been corresponding with Emily, it made JJ realize how deep Lou was letting herself get into ending Bennett.
Lou was desperate and determined. To JJ, that was a deadly combination.
She was going to kill him. There was no doubt in JJ's mind that Lou was going to end Bennett's life. JJ realized Lou's plan all along: after finding out Emily's history with Doyle (and after realizing the calibre of person Doyle was), Lou knew exactly who the best person was to help her. Not just because Emily was a well-trained spy, but the professor knew Emily would only go through with the plan because Prentiss would empathize with Lou, take pity on her, have Emily see her new friend as a reflection of herself. Doyle would have killed every member on the team, and the same went for Bennett. JJ knew that Lou was well aware of how her friend would easily persuade Emily. It was so simple, it was right in front of JJ the entire time, and yet the plan took her completely by surprise.
She underestimated how motivated Lou could be.
Jennifer was beating herself up. She should have connected with Lou, seen where she was mentally. How could she had let her friend go off on her own? There was an overwhelming amount of guilt JJ was feeling. It was as if she knew Lou was going to split at any second. The young woman had found a home with the team, one where she cherished with all her heart. JJ felt she should have done something more before she left.
The agent realized the tears were pooling in her eyes as she stood in the hallway. Wiping away any trace of emotion, she began walking towards Hotch's office, hoping that there was some silver lining in this situation.
However, something inside her made her change her mind on that silver lining.
On second thought, I'd take a yellow brick road right now.
[ + ]
Dexter didn't move from the kid's side.
Morgan noticed how the loyal dog was right by Reid's legs, occasionally resting his head on Spencer's knee, It was odd for Derek to finally witness the dog's intelligence. After Lou, Spencer, Garcia, and even Hotch himself raved of the intelligent pup that was practically human, he didn't truly believe it. Yet, his eyes couldn't lie to him. He couldn't explain it, but Morgan noticed how much the dog was tuned to the kid's emotions. Dexter was trying to comfort Reid as best as he could.
But it didn't take a dog's sense to see how miserable his friend was.
Spencer hadn't strung together a proper sentence the entire time Morgan was there. He barely got two words out of the doctor. The only time he looked up was to notify Morgan that apparently Lou had a spy friend of her own, and that friend was no where to be seen. He would have pushed for more information, but seeing the look on Spencer's face told Morgan that it wasn't the best time to dig for details.
Not just yet, Morgan thought.
He got off Lou's couch, moving towards Spencer's direction. Dexter's low growl made him slow his pace. He watched as Reid's hand found the top of Dexter's head, disarming the guard dog.
"I thought animals repelled you," Derek said in jest, hoping to get a smile from the kid. After getting a half-smirk, he was momentarily satisfied. Finding his way into the kitchen, Morgan spotted a plate of day-old sugar cookies. Knowing that they were Lou's delicious baked delights, he took a few in his hand, munching on one as he walked back into the yellow living room. It seemed weird for Derek to be in Lou's home when she was not there. The day was dull and gray, making the usually bright and sunny walls dreary. There was no energy in the home, having it sucked out with Lou missing.
Sitting back down, Derek allowed himself to gather his thoughts before speaking.
"I'm really mad." He said, noticing how Spencer didn't even twitch at the sound of his voice.
"I'm mad at Lou. Mad for her running off on her own with a half-cocked plan. Mad at the fact that she didn't trust us enough to help her. Mad… mad as hell that I didn't get to teach her how to defend herself before she went running off to God knows where…"
He sighed, tossing the spare cookies on the table. "But I'm worried as hell. I know Little Lou is smart, probably a lot smarter than you, Kid. But she can't do everything on her own."
"Which is why she wanted Emily's help."
He's talking, at least,
"I think you'll remember that it took the entire team to find Emily before…"
Derek cleared his throat. He didn't want to place the idea of Lou dying into Reid's head by reminding the kid of the time they temporarily lost Emily.
"Which is why we need to go back to the BAU," Morgan said. "We have to find her, Reid."
Spencer finally looked at Derek, betraying the heartache he'd been holding in.
"But Dexter—"
"Reid, it's not just Dexter stopping you, is it?"
He watched the kid sigh, running a hand through his hair.
"I know we have to find her. I'm just—" his hand found Dexter's head again, petting it soothingly, "—I don't know where to look for her. I know exactly where she would go, but Elena's not setting the destination. She knew Bennett inside and out, and she kept that knowledge from me, because she knew how dangerous it was, she knew how dangerous Bennett was, and she did everything she possibly could to keep me safe, even lie to me, to the point where the immense anger I feel doesn't compare to the absolute and paralyzing fear that I may not be able to find her in time either before she kills Bennett or if Bennett kills Ellie."
"Then let's find them. Let's find Lou."
Spencer nodded softly, knowing that he had to get up.
Derek knew it was only a matter of time before the kid really opened up. But it was a good start.
"Dexter's coming too, right?" Derek asked, standing up.
The dog was already running to the coat rack, yanking his jacket off the hook.
[ + ]
"And squeeze, don't pull."
She had her stance firm, her shoulders squared, her arms at the proper level of the target that was yards away. Lou could barely hear Emily over her earmuffs, yet knowing that the earmuffs and safety goggles were for her benefit, Lou tried her best to listen to every word the former spy was saying. Keeping her position, she allowed herself to clear her mind. While Lou was absolutely amazing at multitasking for an extended period of time, removing any and all tasks except for a singular thought was oddly difficult for the professor.
But having a gun in her hand gave her the cold realization that she had to clear her mind.
Removing any and all thoughts dragging her down (the missing status of her mother, the ultimate agony that Spencer was feeling, the mixed emotions she caused the team to feel, the gravity of not saying goodbye to Henry who was so worried about her, the moment her father realized that she was missing as well… oh, and the travesty that is Noah Bennett), she allowed all thoughts to wither away from her mind. She took a deep breath, letting herself exhale any air in her lungs. The moment between breaths¸ Emily had told her only seconds prior. Aim, take account of the wind, and don't hesitate.
Lou squeezed her trigger finger. She wasn't expecting how loud the gunshot was with the earmuffs.
"Keep going!" Emily shouted.
The professor found a new routine within those few seconds, giving her even more power over clearing her mind. She missed having a routine, missed following her patterns in her favourite set of three. After Noah began his sadistic plan to ruin Lou's life, she had lost all hope at creating a routine, even within the small aspects. But her instincts took over her, letting herself formulate a routine on instinct.
Exhale, squeeze, inhale. Exhale, squeeze, inhale. Exhale, squeeze, inhale. Exhale, squeeze, inhale. Exhale, squeeze, inhale. Exhale, squeeze, inhale. Exhale, squeeze, inhale.
The soft click of the gun indicated to the professor that she had cleared her magazine.
Taking off her earmuffs, she watched as Prentiss flicked the switch, having her target come towards her on the track above. The closer the large paper got to Lou, the more Lou realized that she did not have beginner's luck on her side.
"Shit," Lou muttered under her breath, realizing that with the eight bullets she had in the magazine, two of them hit the paper. Only one bullet nicked the side of the target.
Which meant Lou did not perform any kill shots.
"I knew I was going to be terrible at this," she muttered, clearly frustrated.
"Next time we'll go without the earmuffs."
"Is that supposed to be an improvement on my aim?"
Prentiss tilted her head in agreement, holding the target with both hands. "Well, at least you can hit the side of a barn."
"Ha. Ha. Your humour is outstanding. Please stop before I get a cramp from laughing."
"Lou, you know, meeting disappointment with sarcasm isn't the best coping mechanism."
"Well, it's been working for thirty years. If it's not broke, right?"
She couldn't help but be frustrated. While she was not bad at hand to hand combat, she struggled with disarming and shooting. Lou was reminded of her days in high school, where she couldn't lift a large tire, or run a hundred metres without being winded, or even hold the shot-put ball with two hands. Lou was borderline inept at physical education. Granted, she was now sixteen years older, with much more dexterity and strength she'd accumulated over time. Yet, Lou still felt like that freshman who was picked on for being skin, bones, and wires (oh my!).
"You'll get better at it," Emily encouraged, watching Lou dismantle the gun. While she wasn't the best shot, she was a quick study, easily learning how to take a gun apart and put it back together quickly. She was almost down to two minutes. "It's only been six hours."
"Six hours of Noah having my mother more than he needs to," Lou said, checking the gun again to make sure the safety was on. "I've learned everything I can learn that can be taught. How to fire properly, how to cross block, how to even break a finger if need be. But I guess I cannot develop a kinesthetic skill within several hours. I mean I may not be fourteen anymore, but you'd think the inadequacy of not completing a physical task would fade away with gaining more strength overtime."
"You never participated in any physical activity within school?"
"Within school? No, absolutely not. The kids there were quite cruel. But when Zion and I were younger, we'd have tree climbing races." Lou smiled softly. "You'd think I wouldn't climb to the top of a tall tree because, uh, heights and I are not friends—" that comment made Prentiss grin, "—but I wouldn't look down. The sheer fun of creating a path through the trees, zooming up and up and up…"
Lou shook her head. She was getting sentimental again. "That seemed much harder than… this."
"It's not," Emily said, clipping a new target onto the track. "All you need is a little more practice."
"Great. More failure."
"With a minor adjustment, thank you."
Confused, Lou turned to find Emily removing the gun from her possession. As Lou watched Emily take the 9mm from her, the professor watched the spy pull another handgun from her armory.
"Maybe a Glock will be better for you. Let's see how you feel about handling a gun like this."
The sentence Emily had said stopped Lou dead in her tracks. It reminded Lou of someone who was dear to her heart, someone who was guaranteed extremely upset with her in the current moment, and someone who was going to be more upset that he did not get the opportunity to teach Little Lou the responsibility of operating a firearm.
'I wanted to know how you felt about handling a gun.'
Derek wasn't going to teach her how to shoot a gun, something he had wanted to do, something he has asked her to do. That was their plan, to have Mister Eyebrows himself teach Lou. She felt like she robbed him of a bonding opportunity. She felt like she disrespected him by leaving before he could teach her everything he knew. While Emily was trained by Morgan, and she was a very proficient marksman and teacher, Lou couldn't help but realize the gravity of the situation. She was learning how to fire a gun, like she promised Morgan she would. It hit her, like an out of control firehose flailing round and round, the sheer power of the water knocking her off her feet.
She gave her word.
She made a promise.
She kept her promise to Derek. To learn how to fire a gun.
But not to someone else.
"Oh no."
It was horrifying for Lou, to realize the biggest promise she ever made was the first one she ever broke.
She told Spencer she wasn't going to leave him. She told him that they were in this together. She promised him that they would catch Noah together, regardless of where they were or what they had to do to stop him. Even if they were unsuccessful, she had given Spencer her word that they would be side by side in every step of the plan, not once omitting anything important. This was something she was consciously aware of, a choice that she made on her own, without considering all the variables.
Her hands involuntarily started to shake. Lou was beginning to realize what breaking her promise meant. She most likely just broke any and all trust between her and Spencer. Spencer, the one person in her world that had always listened to her, had always stood by her side, even when he didn't know why he had to. When Spencer finally found out about Noah, and what he had done to her, Lou feared that Noah would scare Spencer away, and she would lose him forever. But Spencer stayed, Spencer fought for her, Spencer fought with her to keep her. It made her sick to her stomach to realize the gravity of her actions.
I hurt Spencer.
A sob escaped her.
"Lou?"
She looked up to find her friend concerned. Lou didn't do anything to hide her tears.
"I broke a promise, Emily."
She walked away from the booth, leaning against the glass window on the opposite side. "I promised Spencer I wouldn't leave him. And I did."
Lou tried hard to not stutter her breath. She failed. "I've never broken a promise in my entire life, and I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that the one promise I broke was to the one person I love with my whole heart."
She threw her head in her hands, letting all her emotions out.
"I can't bear this. The more I try to remove Noah from my life, the more distant I am with Spencer. And it's all my fault."
She was getting angry at herself.
"If I had just spoken up and told someone of Noah's stupid mission all those years ago, I wouldn't have been in that car and I wouldn't have had this damn cut on my face and he wouldn't have been alive to keep destroying my life!"
Lou sighed heavily, wiping away her tears. She looked up to find Emily in front of her, leaving a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Lou," Prentiss had a certain tone in her voice. "What mission?"
"I'm sorry?" She asked, genuinely confused.
"You mentioned Bennett's mission 'all those years ago'. I'm thinking that this mission is a very important piece of information that you should be sharing with me, considering that it connects to the scar on your face that is clearly a knife wound."
She was much better at keeping her mouth shut. Lou couldn't believe that after almost eight years she had slipped up. Even Spencer didn't know the full story of why Lou wouldn't open up about the that night she escaped Noah Bennett's clutches, why she was in the hospital with extensive damage to herself after an unexplainable car accident, or how the scar on her face became a reminder to always look for a knife in a gun fight.
The professor took another deep breath, sinking down to the floor.
"You're going to want to sit for this one."
"Why?"
Lou waited for Emily to sit down before she spoke.
"This isn't the first time I've tried to kill Noah Bennett."
[ + ]
It was rare for Noah Bennett to be humming.
It was almost fifteen years since the last time he hummed a tune. He had listened to radio music once, found it too crude for his taste. He quite loved classic music, and even had a soft spot for jazz. But the current tune he was humming was an old song, one that had been sung multiple times through these halls. He was told of how the young girl with pigtails would be up and down the hallways, singing the same tune he was currently humming, skipping around with her redheaded friend, her mother quietly baking, her father in his drawing room, and her wonderful grandmother sitting where he sat now.
Lou often talked of her grandmother's chair.
What a grand chair it was. Noah couldn't find it within himself to destroy it. The chair was more beautiful than any other throne he had seen, and his vanity got the best of him. It was red suede, with gold thread trim throughout the entire stitching. There it sat, in the middle of the library, which he now had set up his elite security system, the several monitors showcasing all blind spots. He was very proud of himself for the plan he had for Lou. It may have taken him seven years to execute his plan perfectly, but he didn't mind the wait, not when it coincided perfectly with Lou falling in love with her precious Tinman. It made his plan that much more fun.
His forehead throbbed in pain again, his hand going straight to his scar. Even he had to admit it was ironic how the mark on the top of his face always ached when he thought of Lou.
Noah never forgot a minute of that night.
How Lou's hand found the steering wheel. The line of blood in the snow, with the matching depressions in the white, cold fluff. The way she scampered for the bat. The moment she turned her head just out of his goddamn reach at the perfect time. He was satisfied when he drew blood with his own hand, but that pride cost him his consciousness. He woke up to notice the distinct mark on his forehead that was the same diameter as the baseball bat she left in his car.
That was his one mistake: underestimating her ability to always be prepared to fight back.
Her intelligence is what gave her strength. She could calculate where anyone's weakness was, how effectively she could attack the weakness (physical or mental), and be able to methodically pick apart the most intelligent and stable-minded people he had ever come across. She was immensely good at being quite bad, and Noah Bennett had hoped he could change Lou to become like him. They would have been successful together.
But she had to be a fucking good person and ruin all his plans at having someone who was equally as… thorough as he was.
No activity had been going on the screens, his eyes glancing back to Antoinette, who was asleep in the corner of the large room. There was something more threatening about being chained up in a large room rather than a small room, as there was no where to hide. The old lady was doing fine, she was breathing. He wanted to kill the old hag, badly, but he told himself to be patient. He had been good so far, and he'd been getting more gratification from what he hadn't planned a lot more than he initially thought. So he waited, until she made her presence known.
His forehead gave him agony once more, aggravating him enough to stop him from humming.
She was the only person who came close to killing him. She was the only person who remained alive after even attempting to.
That was enough to fuel his anger for the rest of his life.
A blinking indicator on his screen showed Judeau sent him a message. It carried an attachment of multiple photos. Each photo had two people leaving a private airstrip two towns over, one of the people being Emily Prentiss, Head of Interpol London. The other person, however, was one he was expecting at a later date, and expecting her to be attached at the hip with a man made from tin. Yet, there she was, completely and utterly without Doctor Reid.
"Hello Lou," Bennett said to the screen. "I seem to have underestimated you again. Thank you for the practice."
The pictures put him in a better mood immediately, the tune that was going round and round in his head seemed to ease the pain, his throat finding the hum once again.
He even dared to sing the lyrics.
"We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz."
An idea popped into his head, wondering why he hadn't thought of it before. His hand found his phone, dialing a familiar number.
"Judeau."
"Question," he said into the receiver. "What of her father?"
"He's M.I.A, but we've paid off his people to ensure they do not notify him of you using the house."
"Have your men find him."
Sydney paused, not following Bennett's though pattern.
"…And what of it?"
"I think I'm in the mood for a viewing with a wizard."
Next Time: "No!"