Chapter 36 Fear

Carlos let out a pain filled groan, he could barely feel anything. His throat was dry, his body stiff. He could hardly move aside from a turn of his head or a finger twitch. He was dazed confused by what has happened, the whiteness of the room and the bright lights caused him to shut his eyes again. His brown eyes reopened a second later, an IV was attached to his wrist. He was pale, eyes sunken in, his white hair had a yellowish tint and it laid sloppily on his forehead.

He turned to his head to his other wrist, gauze was wrapped around it. He let out a desperate groan before rolling over.

"Hey Los" Carlos groggily turned to the voice, Al smiled at his friend. Carlos groaned looking up at the ceiling.

"How long?" he asked voice raspy. Al had a sympathetic look on his face, he sat at the edge of the hospital bed.

"Just a couple of days" Al reassured him. Thoughts raced through Carlos's head, the overwhelming numbness of his body wasn't helping. No doubt from the sedatives in his system. Most of all he couldn't believe he actually made an attempt on his own life. He couldn't help but wonder who had found him, was it Al? Who saved him from death?

"Did you save me?" Carlos asked Al, the arabian teen shook his head.

"No, I was icing my face, Jay found you I hear it was pretty brutal he left the bathroom covered in your well you know" Al nervously scratched the back of his head. Carlos laid back on the bed and let out a few short sobs.

The door opened revealing Jay, Mal and Evie holding flowers. Al looked fearfully at Jay, he quickly stood up from his seat.

"Um I think I'd better go see ya later Carlos" Al tried to quickly retreat, Jay stopped him by blocking the door.

"No please stay" Jay genuinely invited him to remain seated. Their eyes met and a mutual understanding was established.

"I'm sorry I hit you" he scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"I'm sorry you hit me too" Al chuckled to himself. Mal and Evie walked over to Carlos smiling sympathetically at him.

"Hey bud how you feeling?" Evie asked him she rubbed his forehead.

"Like I'm drugged up" Carlos said honestly, Mal punched him in the arm.

"OUCH!" Carlos launched up eyes wide, he rubbed his arm in pain.

"Don't ever scare us like that again" Mal crossed her arms glaring at him. Jay stared at his boyfriend, their eyes met. Both quickly looking away from one another. Evie glanced at both of them she rolled her eyes annoyed by the tension.

"Glad you're awake sweetie but you guys need to talk" Evie kissed Carlos's forehead before grabbing Mal and Al. She led them out of the room by their arms. The couple stood in silence for a while collecting their thoughts. They avoided eye contact wishing they were anywhere else but here.

"Jay, I'm sorry I I never meant for you to see that" Carlos looked down ashamed of his actions.

"Carlos, I held your corpse, I felt you die my heart shattered at the realization that you were gone. When Mal brought you back I was so relieved I didn't want anyone to hurt you ever again, But then you just tried to take your own life" Jay explained to him, Carlos clenched his teeth at the recap.

"I'm sorry ever since I woke up I've been trying to come to terms with me dying I was happy that I was alive but it feels like I don't deserve it I cheated death" Carlos explained to him.

"Carlos, we all gave up a small amount of our life force to bring you back, you were abducted and tortured by a psychopath that wasn't how you were suppose to go it wasn't your fate" Jay held the younger boys hands.

"I'm sorry, the thought of facing him again was to much. I couldn't handle it" Carlos explained tears coming down his face. Jay sat down on the space next to Carlos. He wiped the tears out of his eyes. The two stared at each other, brown small eyes meeting the bigger ones. The two leaned in, Carlos placing his hands on Jay's cheeks, Jay lifted the younger teens chin.

Their lips meet in a deep kiss, Carlos moved his arms wrapping around Jay's neck. Jay deepened the kiss, he rested his hand on Carlos's lower back. Carlos moaned allowing Jay's tongue to slip past his lips. The organ explored his mouth, soon they needed to pull back for air. Both stared at each other panting, Carlos quickly kissed him again desperately, Jay pulled him as close as the restricted space would allow. Jay pulled back and grabbed Carlos's cheeks. He pulled the young boy close putting their foreheads together. A light blush covered both of their cheeks.

"I love you, we'll get past this" Jay whispered, Carlos slightly sobbed he rested his head on Jay shoulder.

"You need to start eating again, and talk to us when there's a problem got it?" Jay asked sternly. Carlos closed his eyes leaning closer into him.

"I know, I love you Jay" Carloe kisses his cheek. Jay wrapped an arm around him. The couple slowly drifted off to sleep.