HOLY KINGDOM HEARTS, the document manager finally works!! Thank you Powers That Be!!!!!

Um...yeah. I've been trying for THREE days to get this chapter up, so I'm a little excited...though this chapter is not my favorite. My favorite chapters are the ones where Ria pounces on Zexion, because I find it incredibly amusing.

I own nothing but Ria.

The Spirited Reverie

By

LadyDarkDreamer

Chapter 36:

"Where have you been, Number Fourteen?"

Ria flinched at hearing this, but forced herself to meet Xemnas's gaze as she stepped further into the room. She let her vision go blurry for a moment, and focused on herself as she stood there. She let her awareness pass from the top of her head down her spine, into her fingers and down to the heels of her boots touching the floor. Finally, she focused her eyes on Xemnas again.

"Never mind, I don't want to hear your excuses," he added, standing up and walking around to the front of his desk.

Not sure what to say, Ria just stood there, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible.

"I am concerned about you, Rianxan," Xemnas continued, "I would begin with the fight you prompted with Axel, once you discovered the destruction of your living quarters, but it's a bit late for that. I would think of an appropriate punishment for you disappearing for several days, but it seems you have already forgiven Axel. And, as I said, it is too late. We are growing closer to the beginning of the Castle Oblivion mission, and I do not have time to deal with trivial things. I need everyone with me on this mission, and that includes you. I will let that occurrence pass, but what I heard today I cannot just forget."

Ria had to keep herself from shifting uncomfortably at hearing this. So, Xemnas had heard her argument with Zexion.

"I accidentally ventured upon your quarrel with Number Six in the kitchen earlier today, and I was quite surprised by it. Out of all the members, I would have thought you to be the one to want your heart back the most. You are the newest of us, and therefore have fresher memories of being able to feel. Yet you stood there in the kitchen, and questioned nearly every aspect of the mission, and even questioned this Organization's following of my leadership. Do you care to explain yourself, Rianxan?"

Great, what was she supposed to do now? Xemnas could probably take anything she said and twist it around, so either way she was screwed.

Taking a breath, she said, "They were just questions, Superior, things that I was wondering about. I didn't mean any harm by them."

Okay, that was a nice, safe answer; surely Xemnas would drop the subject from there.

"Ah, but they were said with such…feeling behind them, Number Fourteen. I doubt that you didn't 'mean anything' by them."

Wrong; now what to do?

Xemnas beat her to it, though. "I also found you questioning Namine, and saw that you were approached by Larxene afterward. I did not hear all of your conversation, but I heard enough to know there is something going on. Larxene approached you with the prospect of joining a possible rebellion against the way I run the Organization, correct?"

Her eyes widening in surprise, and Ria couldn't help but take a step back. She stopped herself, though, as Xemnas slowly strode forward. He stopped in front of her, a little too close for her comfort, but she refused to back up. When she didn't answer in the next minute, he raised his arm and set his fingers on her chin. She jerked her head away, hitting his arm with the back of her left hand as she stepped away.

"I run this Organization as I see fit to, Rianxan, and keep its best interest in mind. If you question me, I see it as a question to your loyalty, and to your wish to regain your heart. I asked you to join us because I saw you as an ally, and an asset to this group. You continue to make me second-guess my decision, though. First with your ridiculous soul theory and your fights with Axel, and now with the questions you directed to Zexion. You are taking part in conversations involving traitorous subjects, and trying to plant ideas and doubts into Namine's mind, when we need her. So far, it seems to me that you are become a liability, but I am wondering how you view the situation. Should I give you another chance, or deal with you according?"

Holy crap, she hadn't been expecting this! Ria frowned, and let her head drop a little even as her hands curled into fists. She wasn't part of any plot of Larxene's, and she certainly hadn't said anything of any consequence to Namine! What was she supposed to do?

"Answer me, Number Fourteen."

Anger flashed in her eyes, and even though she knew Xemnas would see it, she looked up and met his gaze. She was getting tired of being ordered around, and Xemnas had no right to accuse her of anything. Still, she had to try and control herself until she was able to leave.

"Superior, as I said before, I didn't mean any harm by anything—"

"Stop with the vague replies, Ria. Give me a straight answer."

Ria tensed at this, taking a quickly breath as she gathered her courage and look straight into Xemnas's eyes.

"I haven't done anything," she said, her voice even, but hard, "Larxene was the one that sought me out, and brought up the subject of rebellion. I barely said anything on the matter before she left, and I certainly don't want to help her destroy the Organization. And I promise you I didn't say anything to Namine to make her doubt her powers. I just wanted to ask her how she felt about the mission, but she told me she didn't know that much. I wasn't going to tell her anything, because it wouldn't be fair to her, and it wasn't my place to tell her. Please excuse me for being bold, but I think you are jumping to conclusions."

Xemnas's eyes narrowed, and before she could move, he grabbed her upper arm hard.

"I have the right to jump to conclusions, if I believe the well being of this Organization is in danger," he said. "I wonder, if I hadn't called you here today, what you would have done. Would you have joined Marluxia and Larxene, perhaps? Or would you have left us and attempted to make it on your own? I don't take well to the idea of deserters, Rianxan. We are all powerful Nobodies, and we work best when together."

Ria scowled, and tried to wrench her arm from Xemnas's grasp, but his grip only tightened. She flinched, grabbing his wrist and considered the possibility of digging her nails into his skin. That would certainly hurt enough for him to drop her arm.

"Let me go, Xemnas," she demanded, setting her feet so that she wouldn't fall over. When he continued to grip her arm, she dug her nails hard into the leather of his coat and the flesh below it.

He still didn't let her go, only tilted his head and continued to watch her.

Ria set her teeth, and twisted her body around in an attempt to escape his grasp.

"You are feeling anger right now, I believe?" he observed, finally releasing her. She stumbled, but managed to remain on her feet. "But it's a trick; you only think you are feeling anger. Your memories are triggered by your objection to being forced to do things you don't like, and you remember what it was like to feel irritation. It's quite a strong force, the mind, as powerful as the heart in some cases. Namine, I think, will better from the experience of using her power on the Keyblade master. She will learn to focus more, and how to read those around her. She will learn that emotions are not important, at least for right now. You will learn, too, as will everyone during the Castle Oblivion mission."

Touching her arm, Ria flinched as she rubbed the spot where his fingers had tightened. She finally looked up at him, glaring as hard as she could.

"Enough with the lies, Xemnas; I'm so tired of damn things. You've been so long without a heart, so long without a sense of self, that you've forgotten everything," she snapped. "And if that's how I'll become after long, then I don't…" her voice grew quieter, and she broke off, immediately thinking of Zexion. She loved him—that she knew for sure—and she didn't want to leave him, but…

There was that question again: what path would she choose if pushed far enough? Would she contain her own opinions, her feeling and questions just to stay safe, to remain in a place she was used to being in? Or would she defend herself, and refuse to let others push her around?

Ria shook her head, and closed her eyes as she fought to keep more tears back. She didn't want to turn traitor; she didn't want to lose the—life, was that the word?—she had made, or the friends she had come to value. She didn't want to fade away, or to lose the one person she had come to love in this place.

But she also didn't want to participate in things she found herself being against. She had lost so much already, but she didn't want to lose her sense of herself, of who she was. She wasn't completely Ariann anymore, and even if she kept quiet and eventually got her heart back, she would be different. She wouldn't forgive herself for giving in, or for running away, for that matter. She didn't want to die, but...

"Ria, are you afraid of dying?"

Surprised, Ria looked up from the book in her lap and stared at Demyx. He was sitting cross-legged in one of library chairs, his sitar in his lap. Meanwhile, Zexion lounged on the sofa across the coffee table. His back rested against one of the armrests, while he kept one leg straight and the other bent at the knee. She rested on the same couch, using Zexion's chest as a pillow. Somehow, she had managed to fit herself on the sofa with him, without being in danger of falling on the floor.

She felt Zexion shift a bit, and tilted her head backward enough to catch him glancing at Demyx. His eyes darted to catch her gaze, and then returned to the black print in his own book.

Turning her attention back to her friend, she considered the unexpected question.

"I...I'm not really afraid of dying, Dem, I don't think," she replied, after a moment.

"You aren't?" he asked, looking surprised, "You're not nervous about what comes after? Whether we just, I don't know...fade away into nothingness, or whether we end up in a place like heaven?"

Ria blinked, and gave him questioning eyes. "Dem, I'm not so much worried about what comes after, so much as what I'll be leaving behind. Death is something we all eventually have to come to," she answered. "I guess...it's a normal part of living, whether you happen to be human, Heartless, or Nobody."

For some reason, they both exchanged a smile at this, and Demyx nodded.

"What about you? Are you worried about it?" she asked, suddenly curious. She would have sat up, but that would have disturbed both her and Zexion; that, and she probably would have fallen onto the floor and injured something. So, she settled for setting her book down and focusing all of her attention on Demyx. Zexion shifted again, and rested one hand on her shoulder.

"I'm not sure," Demyx replied, "I've just been thinking about it, and wanted to ask someone. This seemed as good a time as any."

Death was a normal part of living, whatever kind of being you happened to be.

She wouldn't run away, and she wouldn't give into Xemnas's lies. That only left one option, and…

The space where her heart should have been tightened, and Ria held back a sob. She loved Zexion, but she knew he would understand.

Even though he wasn't here, he would understand.

When she looked up, she found Xemnas watching her intently

"You are thinking of Zexion, and the so-called 'feelings' you have for him, correct? I promise you, Rianxan, he feels nothing for you," he said. "We, after all, cannot feel."

If Xemnas was expecting his words to subdue her, he was wrong; they only made her angrier.

"That's not true, Xemnas! We can feel something, even it's only a small bit of what it was before. We can feel."

Xemnas shook his head, and began walking around her. Ria followed his movements, and took several steps back as his approached. "These feelings are only memories, Number Fourteen, as I have told you before," he said, coming to a halt. "Linger on memories for too long, and you become weak."

Ria shook her head, taking another step back. "If realizing and remembering who I am, and who I used to be, makes me weak…then so be it. And if forgetting that makes you so strong, what will you do if you finally get back your heart?"

"I will adjust," he answered simply.

"You are a fool, Xemnas. You'll never get your heart back."

Her decision mentally complete, Ria took a deep breath and centered herself. Calling her dual fans into her hands, she opened her eyes and took her battle stance, and waited.

Xemnas raised his eyebrows in response.

"If this is your choice, then you are as much a fool as I am. You will never regain your heart, either."

"Maybe," she replied, "But it's my decision, isn't it?"

Please understand, Zexion, she thought, please understand that this was my decision, and I love you, but I chose this.

Her grip on her weapons tightened as she met Xemnas's amber gaze determinedly, and she silently hoped that Zexion would remain where he was, and wouldn't interrupt the battle. The odds were against her for this fight, and she knew that. She probably wouldn't see Zexion again, but sending that thought was the best she could do.

The emptiness that occupied the space of her heart clenched again, and she pushed away the sadness.

Her thoughts dissolved into instinct as Xemnas extended his palms, and a red aerial blade appeared in each. He gave her one more considering look, before jumping into the air.

Ria looked up quickly, following his movements as he dropped to the ground. She performed a cartwheel in the opposite direction, setting her feet as Xemnas descended on her. She brought both fans up, ignoring the protest in her shoulders as she blocked a swift downward slash. Keeping one fan open to use as a shield, she closed the other and slashed horizontally. Twisting her left wrist up and outside, she brought that fan down and pushed forward. Xemnas spun in a half-circle, avoiding the attack and catching her back with a hard tap of one blade.

Stumbling, Ria used it to her advance and fell automatically to one knee, throwing one fan and used her magic to force it back. It hit Xemnas's shoulder, but he didn't seem affected by it. Another blade entered her vision, and she rolled to one side and sliced upward. Xemnas blocked it, and Ria began defending again as he began attacking. She parried the blows and managed to get in a few of her own. Seeing an opening, she dropped once against and tried to sweep his feet out from under him.

Xemnas was expecting the attempted, though, and moved at the last second. He then caught the one foot she was using her balance with the end of open blade and forced her onto her back.

Tapping into her magic again, Ria leapt to her feet and tossed her fans into the air. The individual blades separated, and she stepped back quickly, using her elements to propel them at Xemnas and slash at him. The man surprised her by creating a square wall as he sidestepped, knocking a good number of the blades to the ground. He then teleported in a shimmer of air, and Ria barely had time to summon her fans back as he appeared beside her.

Dodging one blade, she flinched as the other caught her side. Pain radiated from it, and she did her best to ignore it as she blocked Xemnas overhand slash. She followed with an upward arc of her own. When he blocked that, she quickly did the same with her other fan, managing to cut his chest. She pressed forward quickly, only to be knocked back as Xemnas conjured another wall in her way.

Leaping into the air, Ria flipped over the barrier and twisted around as she landed, hoping to catch one of his hands.

He surprised her though, forcing her backward and following with slashes that she felt hit her shoulder, upper back and knee. She crossed both fans in front of her immediately, stopping another slash as she tried to pushed forward. Xemnas was stronger, though, and forced her onto her back with one heave.

"So, you not longer even wish to even exist? Do you long for death, to fade from this world?" he asked.

Ria didn't reply; instead, she sat up, and starting to get to her feet. She wouldn't waste breath giving Xemnas an answer.

"You are a liability, Rianxan, to this Organization. And because of that, I will hurry your return to nothingness."

He attacked immediately, barely giving her time to recover. Ria blocked as much as she could, sidestepping and getting in a lucky slash or two. She ignored the pain in her body, and forced herself to focus on the fight entirely. She blocked both blades again, taking a risk as she stepped towards Xemnas and brought her knee up hard, hitting his stomach. He grunted and pushed her away, and she managed to roll to her feet slice Xemnas's unprotected back.

He quickly pivoted on one foot, once again forcing her to rely on defense. As she stepped and blocked, Ria realized her energy was beginning to run out. She had used most of her magic to strengthen her fans so they could shield her from Xemnas's blades, but that magic was running low.

She moved quickly, wanting to hold out as long as she could. Another dodge, and she cut his shoulder, taking another blow to her side in consequence. She focused her magic, halting the descent of one blade. The other one came hard, knocking one fan from her hand as she took the offensive. She called it to her hand again, and began to push Xemnas back when he suddenly disappeared.

She turned quickly, and saw Xemnas jump over her, tossing one of his blades into the middle of the room. Too late, she realized that that one blade had turned to dozens, and didn't have time to jump into the air to avoid their approach.

Panicing, she reached for the rest of her magic, quickly forming a shield around herself. The blades hit the shield a second later, and with such force that she stumbled back as pain hit her skull unexpectedly. Before she could react, Xemnas appeared before her, hitting her right wrist with one blade. She flinched and dropped the weapon, and Xemnas took a single step forward and hit her left side with both blades.

The momentum forced her back, and she hit the ground on her side a second later. Her head impacted with the marble floor, and her vision turned askew as she took in a harsh breath. Slowly, Ria forced herself to sit up and get to her knees, looking up at Xemnas with a defiant stare. She hissed in pain as her fingers and limbs began to tingle, and forced herself to take a deep breath, even as she noticed that dark energy was beginning to swirl around her.

Even as she realized what was happening, she tried to stand, but crashed to her knees. Pressing one hand hard against the floor, she looked up at him.

"You will never get your heart back, Xemnas. Never," she whispered as loud as she could. She wasn't sure he had even heard her as he walked away, but when he turned, she knew he had. Another moment and he was there beside her, knocking her aside with one of his aerial blades.

The weapon impacted, feeling as though it broke several of her ribs as Ria fell to onto her side.

She laid there, her cheek pressed to the floor, for what seemed like a very long time. Her sight was sketchy and harsh, and it hurt so much to breathe. Her head spun as she blinked, and she felt her eyes shimmer with tears as she opened them. She didn't know how long she stayed there, just trying to remain conscious, but Xemnas's boots appeared at the edge of her vision. They vanished quickly, and she couldn't even hear the thud of his steps hitting the marble floor. Swirls of darkness grew thicker around her, and she let out a painful breath. She drew in another stabbing gasp of air, and it hissed through her teeth as she let it out again.

Her power was leaving her, so much that she didn't even have the energy to push herself off the white floor. The color, and it had been since the day she arrived, was sharp and painful.

Another jagged breath, and she focused her mind on the image of Zexion. She struggled to ignore the pain and remember the just him. The first thing that came to find were his dark-and-ice eyes, and the sounds of his voice as he spoke. She held onto that, and slowly began to let go.

Her grip slowly loosened on the one weapon she had in her left hand, while her vision blurred completely into a mass of white, silver, salt and black. Taking one more deep breath, she forced herself to tighten her left palm around the blades of the fan. The edges pinched painfully as they cut into her skin, bringing her back enough into consciousness to allow her to focus her power. She gathered the remainder of her energy, and sent one last thought.

I'll always remember you, Zexion.

She let out the breath slowly, closing her eyes and letting herself relax as the darkness enveloped her.

A long moment later, she faded.

Yes, I wrote that, and didn't have any enjoyment in the action. Hopefully, this chapter wasn't rushed, and that I gave Ria a fitting last fight and ending. I know some people are gripping the edges of their desks, going "WHY did she have to die?! Why did you make her die??! She has to come back!" I'm sorry for having to end the story like this, but trust me, it needed to happen. There's one more chapter left...and I actually had some last-minute inspiration for that, so it will be a few days.

AND at the end of the final chapter, I have a VERY important bit of news. Trust me, everyone will like it, I think.

Reviews?