Chapter XXXVI
It had been several hours since the army departed from Renwold and from what Cara could see, her new troops were not exactly taking their mission as seriously as they should be. Glancing from left to right, the Mord'Sith took in soldiers of all ranks and ages either playing pranks on one another, swapping what they presumed to be humorous stories, or trying hard to take their eyes off of her. She knew how strange it would be being the only woman amongst literally thousands of men but she was ill prepared for how they responded to her presence. They either worshipped the ground she walked on- or rather, the ground her horse walked on- or spent hours letting their gazes burn into her back…and other places. At first, Cara had grown annoyed with their attentions- innocent or not- but now she had learned to simply brush them off. She couldn't exactly blame them. Corporal William Reynolds had informed her that most of these men were abandoned by their parents when they learnt of their abilities. The remainder were orphans who either ran away or were sold to the masters of Renwold. Some of them hadn't seen a woman since the time they could walk; others, since the day of their birth. So Cara allowed their attentions to linger on her throughout the day despite the furious looks Ben would shoot her from his horse.
"What about you, Mistress Cara?" William's voice drew her attention to the crowd of men surrounding their horses as they walked. "What was your favorite childhood story?" Cara raised an eyebrow at the question.
"I don't remember any." The blonde responded but the men only scoffed.
"You don't remember?" a tall, dark-skinned man asked skeptically. "How do you not remember the stories your father would tell you when you were little?"
"Do you all truly know nothing of my kind?" Cara swayed effortlessly in her saddle, amused at the men's ignorance.
"We know you serve as the presiding Lord Rahl's bodyguards." William said. "That you're considered the most feared fighting force in the three territories."
"And how do you think we became so fearsome?" Cara's question was received with shrugs and raised eyebrows as the men tried to bring up their knowledge of D'Harans. "Well we didn't just wake up one day and decide to become the Rahls' personal weapons."
"Of course not." Another man agreed. "But there must have been some sort of initiation process." Cara snickered.
"Initiation. I suppose that word could work for it." As she fell silent on the topic, the men disbanded. While eager to hear the woman's story, they knew better than to test their boundaries with her. After all, they saw what she could do to their kind. They resumed their storytelling, their laughter reaching Cara's ears and making her feel an emotion she hadn't felt since her first days with Richard and Kahlan. Jealousy. Immediately shoving the thought aside, Cara turned to meet Ben's gaze- something she had not done in a long time- and regretted it almost instantly. The navy eyes were already on her, but not the way they used to be. Instead of love and understanding, Cara saw anger and frustration radiating back at her. She swallowed whatever she was about to say to her former lover and turned her head back almost violently, her braid whipping around and resting on her leather clad shoulder. Cara lowered her head, staring intently at the black stallion's mane beneath her fingertips. She caressed the large animal softly and almost smiled when she heard him sigh contently. At least someone didn't mind her company. Within the next second, several things happened in rapid succession. First, the hairs on the back of Cara's neck stood upright. Next, she heard her name being called from both directions along with the sounds of something flying through the air. Lastly, she heard herself grunt as she landed on her side, a hard body blanketing her in an attempt to protect her from an unseen foe. She glanced around quickly and took in the bodies of several of her men, arrows in their necks and bellies as well as an arrow on the ground directly behind her horse. She struggled to free herself from underneath the man but he pinned her down, arm across her chest as his own was raised above them. Suddenly, Cara saw light blue sparks appear above them and watched as split and broken arrows rained down around them. She took in the dark hair and pale skin and realized that it was Will- not Ben- that had saved her from the tip of another arrow. Now, as the man projected a protective bubble around them causing every arrow that hit it to shatter, Cara couldn't help but meet his gaze. She almost frowned when she saw what was there. William was looking back at her with the deepest concern flooding his dark eyes. It was only now that Cara realized that they were green- not the brown she had first seen them as- and it took her a moment to break away.
"We have to help the others." her voice came out as almost a whisper. Will nodded once and slowly lifted himself from her, all the while continuing to project the field around them. Cara took one last glance at him before drawing her Agiels and stepping outside of his protection and into the battle that had begun around them. She could hear William immediately begin to fire whatever spells he knew at the attackers but Cara's mind was solely focused on one thing: Ben. She followed the sounds of sword-to-sword combat and eventually came across the ungifted. They stood, stone-faced and stoic, as they stared down the enemy before them. Cara was unimpressed with the small scouting party that had been sent to intercept them but nonetheless, she would ensure that her men suffered as little injury as possible. With a shout, she led them forward and directly into their front lines. Before long, the sounds of magical explosions and projectiles faded and the gifted joined them in defeating the last of their enemy. As their numbers dwindled, Cara's sharp eyes caught a lone figure stealing one of their horses and beginning to ride off towards the north.
"Stop him!" Will's voice cried before she could. Several of their men mounted quickly and began to chase down the scout that would reveal their location and numbers if allowed to live.
"Leave none alive!" Cara's shout echoed across the valley and members of her army voiced their agreement as they continued to dispatch the force before them. Before long, the sounds of battle were reduced to nothing more than the moans of the dying and the stowing of swords. The gifted were ordered to heal their own wounded immediately and Will had the men set up a tent where they would be brought to recover.
"It looks like we're camped for the night." Will told Cara from behind and the blonde turned on her heels.
"Might as well. The sun has already set." She agreed. As the Corporal turned to help the others, Cara quickly took his arm and turned him back.
"Thank you." she said meekly. "For saving me."
"Of course." He offered her a smile and the traditional D'Haran salute. Cara's lips twitched upwards at his attempt just as she caught sight of a certain blond-haired man making his way through the ranks before her. She released Will and found herself practically sprinting towards him at the sight of his blood. Ben had a hand pressed against his side as blood pooled around his fingers. Cara was before him in a second.
"Ben!" she swallowed hard as she saw his once tanned face turn pale. "Get me a healer!" As she reached out to inspect the wound, Ben pushed her hands away and took a step back.
"It's a scratch." he said venomously, his tone catching her by surprise.
"It might well be but just let me-"
"Go back to holding hands with your new toy, Cara." Ben grunted as he went to shove past her only to ram straight into a frowning William.
"Would you like me to-"
"No, I wouldn't like you to do anything. I'm more than capable of taking care of myself." Ben's gaze went straight through the man he saw as a threat. William simply tilted his head in bewilderment.
"General, that could easily get infected-"
"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Ben immediately invaded the younger man's personal space, their noses almost touching as the blond practically growled. "Would be much easier to get into her pants without me in the way, now wouldn't it?"
"Ben!" Cara's enraged cry went unnoticed as William straightened to his full height, refusing to back down.
"I can assure you, I have no intentions of-"
"I should warn you though, Corporal." Ben continued as if no one had spoken, his gaze flickering to and from Cara's swirling eyes. "She's quite good at manipulating people- or should I say men- to her advantage. I'd tread lightly if I were you."
"I don't know what's going on with the two of you but you have no right to speak of her in that way." William's own eyes narrowed fiercely and Cara knew that he could injure Ben with a single thought. Just as the D'Haran went to reply, Cara wedged herself in between the two, shoving them apart before either one said something too brash.
"Enough!" she cried, drawing the attention of anyone who hadn't already been watching. "We are fighting a war! The last thing we need is to turn on one another. Now stop acting like hormonal teenagers looking for an excuse to fight and secure the camp!"
"He's the one who-"
"I said 'enough'!" Cara's fiery gaze landed on Will who raised his arms in surrender and spun on his heels, the men behind him parting to let him through. Cara stood with her back to Ben for several seconds before noticing the silence around them.
"Don't you all have work to do?!" she asked the gawking soldiers around them. They all sprung up at once, suddenly remembering that they had somewhere else to be, as Cara turned to face Ben. Instead, she found herself watching his back as he walked away from her. With what could easily be dismissed as a snarl, Cara sped after him, grabbing his arm forcefully and only releasing him when they entered her tent.
"Going to punish me for disrupting your future plans with Will?" Ben crossed his arms, keeping his back to her to ensure that he was unable to see her face. He knew that if he did, his resolve would crumble in seconds.
"Why would you say something like that?" Cara's voice was small and confused, like a little girl who didn't understand why her father had to spear a fish.
"Because it's the truth." Cara's breath hitched at the words, knowing that Ben actually believed them.
"You truly believe that I want him? That I could ever want anyone besides-"
"Besides who, Cara?" Ben finally turned to face her and the pained look on her face nearly broke him.
"You know who." her turquoise eyes were beginning to fill with tears that had yet to be shed as Ben slammed his fist on a nearby table.
"No, I don't!" he cried. "That's the problem, Cara! I don't know what you want anymore! I risked everything to save you and you reward me with disdain and hatred."
"I don't-"
"You keep saying that you don't hate me yet your every actions proves otherwise!" Ben brought his face dangerously close to hers and she noticed a few stray tears trickle down his bearded cheek. "Are you doing this to hurt me for losing Kahlan?"
"Doing what?!" she cried, running a hand through her hair in frustration.
"You let these men ogle at you all day long!" Ben shouted, hand pointing towards the tent's entrance. "You begin to grace them with tales of your past that took me months to earn the privilege of knowing! Then, as if that's not good enough, you're looking at him the way you used to look at me!"
"Not once have I had a single thought about any of these men, William included!" Cara spat back, taking a step forward and into Ben's space. "How dare you accuse me of trying to seduce them to hurt you?!"
"That's all you seem to want to do!" Ben raised his arms angrily over his head. "I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: I'm sorry about Kahlan! I'm sorry I messed up but you want to know something, Cara? I'd do it again. I would let them take her a million times over if it meant saving your life."
"Do you even hear yourself?!" Cara's face was red now as she shouted in the man's face. "Kahlan is the Mother Confessor, the ruler of the Midlands and the only person who can stop this war! Better yet, she is our friend! She loves us!"
"And I love you!" Ben retorted. "Spirits be damned woman, I love you! What is so difficult to understand?! You are both alive because of what I did and for that, I am done apologizing."
"It's our job to-"
"This isn't about the job, Cara. It never has been." Ben lowered his voice suddenly. "I know you're worried and I am too but we can't let our fears get in the way of our future."
"I am not afraid." The blonde stated, not believing it herself. Ben shook his head and approached her slowly.
"It's alright to be afraid of what the future might hold, Cara. There is no shame in that." his voice broke slightly as he backed Cara into the wooden pole holding the tent upright. "I know you're afraid of having children and of me somehow regretting my decision to be with you but-"
"Please, Ben don't." Cara closed her eyes tightly and lowered her head, shaking it slowly as his words finally seemed to sink in.
"Cara, I will always love you. There is nothing you can do to change that." He reached out and lifted her chin with a gloved hand, forcing her wet eyes to meet his. "I am begging you Cara. Believe me when I say that children or not, it will never affect the way I feel about you. Just please, stop trying to push me away."
"One day, you're going to wake up and realize that your life has passed you by and that I was the one holding you back from fulfilling your dreams. That is what I fear." Cara breathed, a small sob managing to escape along with the confession. Wordlessly, Ben grasped her shoulders and pulled her in for a tight hug. Both seemed to deflate at the feeling of being in the other's arms for the first time since Kahlan had been taken.
"I swear to you, that will never happen." he whispered in her ear. "I will love you forever and always. Nothing will ever make me regret that." Cara let out a shaky breath against him as her unshed tears streamed down her face. Ben retracted slightly and wiped them away with a swift hand before pressing a chaste kiss to her cheek.
"I don't deserve you." she shook her head slightly. Ben chuckled.
"You've got that backwards." he said as he kissed her nose, eyelids and forehead. "I just wish you could see how beautiful you are."
"Your the only person who has ever made me feel like I'm worth something, Ben." Cara told him, relishing in the way his scratchy face felt against hers. "I love you more than I ever thought imaginable."
"I'm sorry. For everything." Ben kissed the side of her mouth gently, feeling her shaking her head.
"Don't be." she said, taking hold of his hands as they continued to stroke her cheek. "It's forgotten." Cara opened her eyes briefly and was swept up in Ben's intense gaze. The two looked at each other for what seemed like days but eventually, their lips were brought together in a kiss that shook them to their very cores. Cara's hands found their way around Ben's neck in a second, desperate to get him as close as possible as their mouths battled. Ben continued to press her against the wooden post that creaked in protest, hands sliding along her sides and sending chills through her.
"Cara." Ben groaned as she managed to maneuver a hand inside his armor and stroke his well-defined chest. She nearly gasped when she felt his presence between her legs and failed to sustain another shiver as it ran up her spine.
"Off." she demanded as she tugged at the hem of his shirt. "Now." Ben complied immediately, yanking the offending articles off his body and out of sight, leaving Cara free to admire his naked torso. Trying hard to ignore the growing discomfort between her legs, Cara's lips rushed to get to work at the exposed flesh. Ben groaned at the contact of her wet, warm mouth on his skin and ground his hips into hers causing the woman to let out a breathy moan. Before long, he could take it no more and took hold of the blonde braid to hold her at bay.
"Your turn." he snickered, already at work at untying the troublesome laces and latches. Cara helped, anxious to relieve herself of the constraint. Before long, she was left naked before him and Ben had to swallow hard as he took in the sight of her.
"Come now, it's nothing you haven't seen before." Ben wanted to describe what Cara was doing as 'blushing' but knew better than to risk his well-being…especially at a time like this.
"Do you presume to think that you do not leave me speechless every time you undress, Mistress Cara?" Ben wrapped his hands around her as she expertly removed his belt buckle.
"I would assume that man of your…resolve would be able to withstand the temptations of a woman." Cara purred in his ear, her hot breath only pushing him further to the edge.
"You're not just any woman, Cara." he managed to breath out as her tongue and teeth nipped at his neck. The sound of his trousers hitting the ground send a twitch through his body. He could feel Cara smiling against his skin.
"No? Then what am I?" Cara teased, realizing her mistake too late as Ben growled and pinned her to the ground with one swift move. As his lips marked her neck, Cara could've sworn that the seasons had changed and it was no longer the dry winter she had accustomed to- but a steaming hot summer that left her gasping for air. Her breath caught in her throat as she felt Ben pressed up against her and she arched her back in anticipation. It was Ben's turn to chuckle as she clawed at his back and writhed beneath him in desperation.
"You're my woman." he told her with a smirk, relishing in the laughter that escaped her lips. His words alone made Cara want to simply combust with pleasure but as he moved into her and sighed in her ear, Cara realized that she never truly knew what pleasure was.