a/n: and here we have it, the 'laaaast chaaaapter' (read that in the dodo voice off of Ice Age aha)
it has been an absolute pleasure writing for you all and guess what! I HAVE FOUR NEW FICS THAT HAVE AT LEAST THREE CHAPTERS IN THEM SO YOU'LL BE SEEING ME SOON AGAIN. i made this chapter extra to make up for the time its been between updates. it has a cute little surprise at the end ;)
i hope you all will hang around a little while longer as i will be posting other stories very soon :)
please, please, pleaseeeee review, i would love some messages too :) and finally, you can find me on tumblr at ant1ers. tumblr. com ( the L in antlers is a 1, fyi)
ENJOY MY DUMPLINGS, STICK AROUND BECAUSE I'VE GOT SOME UBER EXCELLENT FICS COMING YOUR WAY.
adios, Emma xoxox
SQSQSQ
Three Months Later
If heaven was a place on Earth, it'd be Story Brooke College right now. We've been Blue-free for approximately two months and three weeks; which meant a very relaxed staff room and more lesbian canoodling. Belle and Ruby were worse than the students they taught. Turns out there are soundproof rooms at the back of the library which meant the two of them had been utilising them much to Regina's disappointment. I, on the other hand, had become Head of English, which meant my own swanky office and everything. It was pretty bare at the moment but I was totally going to snazzy it up in the New Year. I had a corner desk, two chairs, a swivel chair that I stole from my old staffroom and a cute little cactus from Belle as a congratulatory gift. She said she knew I was terrible at looking after things and the spikes were a bonus precaution because of my unnatural need to touch things that you shouldn't, for example, cactus spikes and wet paint.
Regina had bought me a beautiful canvased photograph of the Rocky Mountains up near Washington State, and also bonked me senseless on my freshly purchased desk. It was an interesting experience considering we started at one end of the table, made our way over the awkward middle point and then finished up at the other end. Ruby on the other hand, gave me a high five.
Three months later and I was still crazy for Regina. Like crazy, crazy. Like, the one time it was fucking pouring down with rain and I used our only umbrella to protect her and all her paperwork, and not me, kind of crazy. So in my mind, that type of crazy could mean one thing; that damn ceremony where one person gives another person a ring while potentially crying and whispering 'I do'. I explained it because I don't like the gross term of Marriage. Yes, that's right, marriage. I, Emma Swan, like it and therefore I shall put a ring on it.
At first, Regina was suspicious as I went ring-hunting. If you don't believe me, the fourth time I came home late from 'marking with Ruby', the woman crash tackled me. When she declared me 'clear', she unwrapped herself from me, straightened her blazer, primped her hair and marched inside like nothing had even happened. The afternoon I found the ring, I bought it, no questions asked, and zoomed over to Ruby's.
SQSQSQ
As I pulled up, Belle was saying her goodbyes at the front door. I always gave them their privacy but today was important.
"Ruby," I killed the engine and slammed the door shut behind me as I tumbled out of my vehicle. As I took a step towards the couple, I was yanked backwards. My jacket was caught in the door, again. Cursing, I shrugged it off – leaving it attached to the car door – and jogged over to the two ladies.
"Ruby, this is important,"
"Can't you see we're a little busy Swan," Ruby quipped. Belle grumbled in agreement and ran her fingers through Ruby's hair.
"I bought a ring!"
Belle's wandering hands froze as Ruby's eyes instantly opened. The librarian broke off the heated kiss and whipped her head around to face me,
"What?"
"I bought a ring,"
"What kind of ring?" Ruby's eyes narrowed as I fetched the little emerald green box from the back pocket of my jeans.
"A fucking mood ring Ruby, sheesh, what kind of ring do you think I'm talking about?" I pried open the box and Belle gasped.
"Shit Swan, you got class," Ruby peeled herself off her girlfriend and inspected the princess cut Amethyst held in white gold dotted with tiny diamonds.
"And a decent pay check," Belle added, admiring the delicate piece of jewellery. I shrugged my shoulders,
"I just want it to be special you know?"
"I think Regina would have been okay with you taping a horse radish to her finger to be honest," Ruby muttered as I pocketed the wedding ring. Belle slapped Ruby on the arm,
"It's cute and very thoughtful Emma," Belle released a killer smile, "I've known her for ages, she will love it,"
Ruby eyed her girlfriend sceptically, "oh and how long is ages?"
"Like seven years,"
Ruby's mouth opened, "what the fuck, how have you been at Story Brooke longer than I have?"
Belle cleared her throat, "I was there before Regina; in fact, it was me who got her the job at the school,"
"Get fucked you did,"
"Yep," Belle popped her lips, "dating the ex-principal had its perks; could have whoever I wanted, you know, as long they had the papers," the librarian winked at me, "I totally know what perks you're getting little Ms Swan,"
"You dated Gold?" Ruby's voice went up an octave, "what?"
"Yeah then the Board found out and well," she shrugged her shoulders, "you know, he got fired,"
"You sound real sad there Bells," I laughed,
"I was a student teacher then, what do you expect? He cracked on to me! Plus Sidney hated Gold's guts and wanted a legitimate reason to fire his arse,"
Ruby looked like a light bulb had gone off in her head, "oh, so that's why he left; I just thought his wrinkly arse got fired for like, cracking on to Mrs Mills,"
Now it was my turn to gasp, "Gold hit on Regina?"
"Oh no, Mrs Mills, as in Cora Mills,"
"No relation," Ruby clarified.
"Man my head hurts," I rubbed my temples, "too much shit going down at one school man,"
"That's cool," Ruby fluttered her hand like she was batting away a fly, "anyway, nice ring. You should probably skedaddle before Regina rips your head off, and not in a good way,"
I sneered at the Art teacher and smiled to the Librarian as I headed over to my Bug.
"Whatever Rubes have a nice night you two, alright? And I'll see you tomorrow,"
SQSQSQ
I gripped the steering wheel like my life depended on it. Maybe tonight was the night… or maybe not. I was too indecisive. The proposal would have to be romantic and I had definitely not planned anything romantic yet. Ah fuck.
I turned down Mifflin and spotted Regina standing at the letterbox. Normally I would be quite relived and happy but she kind of looked like she was ready to slaughter a few children. I parked the Bug beside Regina's Mercedes and as I unbuckled myself from the seat, Regina opened the car door. I grinned up at her sheepishly,
"Uh, hey sweetheart,"
I think it took her a few seconds to realise what was happening because she went from evil bitch face to breaking out into a toothy smile that could only mean bad news.
"Hello dear,"
She leaned over me and yanked my handbag from the passenger seat. Luckily I had done the smart thing of jamming the ring in my bra and the box under a whole heap of paperwork in the glove box compartment thingy. I squeezed out of the small vehicle as Regina pawed through my bag for some kind of explanation to my tardiness. I didn't mind; I had nothing to hide.
Regina sighed and threw the loose tampons back into my bag and chucked the bag back into my arms.
"So Regina, darling, how was your day?"
Clearly that was too sugar coated because she turned on her heel and came within centimetres of my face.
"Do you know what time it is?" her breath smelt like coffee.
"Six?"
"Exactly, six o'clock in the afternoon. We finish work at three!"
"I went to Ruby's," I shrugged my shoulders. I wasn't totally lying, just a little bit.
"For three hours? Doing what? Marking?"
"Yeah," I slid past the seething Regina and tiptoed backwards towards the front door. She followed.
"My, my, Ms Lucas has been stealing you away from me for a long time, hasn't she Emma?"
I hug my jacket up on the rack and started unzipping my knee high boots as Regina slammed the front door shut.
"Hey Mum," Henry called out from God knows where,
"Hey kid,"
"For three hours, I have been worried sick about you Ms Swan,"
"What? Why? I was at Ruby's," I rolled up the sleeves of my plaid shirt and sniffed. Regina took a step towards me.
"Is…is that cologne on you?" Regina hissed. I had never seen the woman so pissed in all her life.
"Yes, but it's not what you think. I walked past a chemist and they were having a sale and I popped in to have a look and ended up walking out with like four different colognes on me," I was rambling. Shit.
"But you were at Ruby's; she doesn't have a chemist near her," Well fuck.
"Um,"
"I knew it!" Regina stepped back, tears pooling in her waterline, "Ms Swan are you cheating on me?"
And at that point, Henry decided to grace us both with his presence. Henry's eyes widened dramatically.
"Mum?" Henry was still wearing his school clothes minus his shoes and socks. He padded over to Regina and stared at me, "is that true?"
"No!" I reached out towards my son and future-wife-to-be and they both flinched away, "Regina, Henry, I love you both, I'd never do anything to hurt you, I promise,"
"They why do you stink of men's deodorant!" Regina shouted. Henry cowered slightly. That's it. I wasn't going to lose the two people I cared about most in my entire life over a sale at a chemist.
"No, fuck Regina! Okay, fine! I wasn't at Ruby's, I was in town alright? I had to pick up something,"
Regina looked at me blankly as I shoved my hand down my shirt, searching for the ring.
"So you've been in town for three afternoons consecutively? Is that what you are telling me?"
"Yes!" The ring was somewhere in here. I peeked downwards and saw it stuck to my left nipple, "ah, ha!"
Regina froze.
"What is that?" She lifted a shaky hand to the ring in the palm of my hand.
"Honestly? Have you never seen an engagement ring before?"
That was definitely not the right thing to say because Regina stepped towards me, glanced down at the ring, then to my lips and suddenly her face was crumpled up in an angry looking scowl. Henry gasped at the statement.
"Oh my god, oh my god, oh sweet Jesus, it's happening," He disappeared around the corner, his voice trailing behind him. Regina burst into tears, but like, happy tears… possibly.
"Are you…are you proposing to me Ms Swan?"
"Uh, I was going to, yeah. But right now is a bad time, so um, another time maybe yeah?" I pointed to my wristwatch, "this time tomorrow yeah, same place? Cool, awesome, I'm going to be in the study,"
Before Regina could even mutter a word, I shot off down the corridor my mind trying to decipher what the actual fuck just happened. I was going to be sleeping on the couch for a while.
SQSQSQ
Surprisingly, Regina didn't chuck me to the couch but simply glared at me with arms crossed and reading glasses on, as I tucked myself into her bed that night.
The next day at work was even worse. She handed me every single substitute class I was capable of having in one day. I had no time to chat to Ruby and Belle and I was constantly on my feet. Right now, even Granny would be a blessing to talk to.
The bell rang for lunch and I grumbled my way towards the Head of Department staffroom. It wasn't really a staffroom, just a long corridor that jutted out from the original staffroom I was in that had like seven different offices on it. I could hear Ruby laughing and Leroy going off at some poor kid as I jammed my key into the lock and twisted. I was not up for anything so I slammed the door behind me and slumped into my swivel chair. As I laid my chest and head down on the desk, my face came into contact with something rather squishy. I looked up and saw a share pack of mini marshmallows.
"Fucking sweet," I peeled off the Post It note stuck to it.
'Hey Mum, I knew you'd never cheat on Regina. I see the way you look at her. So I bought you your favourite, mini marshmallows, for being a poopy head. Enjoy! Love, Henry'.
I smiled at his childish insult and ripped open the bag. Little tiny balls of white and pastel pink rolled out onto my desk and I picked up a couple, and popped them in my mouth.
"Kid knows his way to my heart," I muttered to no one as I shoved more into my mouth. I rested my head onto the desk as I chewed. My eyelids were so heavy from the amount of work I had to do today that I closed them. I'm sure a five minute… ten minute… possibly a twenty minute nap wouldn't hinder my afternoon, would it?
SQSQSQ
Yes, yes it could. Regina found me.
At first, I didn't notice her as my eyes fluttered open. I figured the block of blue was just my door but then I remembered my door was black; and at that moment, Regina fucking Mills dropped a thick stack of sheets right in front of my sideway turned face.
"Fuck!"
I shot up and smacked my knee on the underside of the desk, causing the marshmallows to roll out in all different directions. I was half expecting Regina to slap me upside the head but the woman just laughed, like full on, like the stuff of angels.
"That was priceless; I should catch you more often when you're snoozing dear,"
I grumbled as I massaged my bruised kneecap. Regina cocked her head to the side at the explosion of marshmallows.
"Have a nice nap?"
"No," I mumbled as I bent down to pick up all the loose mini marshmallows that had ended up on the floor.
"Aw, what a shame," She curled her forefinger and tapped it up underneath my chin. I looked up at her and she leaned down and kissed me.
"I thought…I thought you were angry at me?" I whispered as the brunette plucked a marshmallow from my open palm. She placed it in between her pearly white teeth and bit down.
"Angry, yes, I was, but no longer," she chewed it and reached for another. She squished it between her fingers and stared at it as it bounced back into shape, "I was just being silly, I guess,"
"Paranoid would be the more appropriate term here," I muttered. Regina sneered and flicked the marshmallow at my forehead. It pinged off my head and landed on the desk.
"Did you… did you just throw a marshmallow at me?" I scoffed. The Principal shrugged her shoulders and before she could retaliate, I threw two at the woman. She gasped as one got her straight in the eye.
"Ms Swan…" She grinned mischievously and snatched a whole hand full before retreating to behind my desk. I launched four at Regina and she just giggled as they soared past her and softly rebounded off the back wall. Just as Regina threw one at me, there was a knock at the door,
"Hey Mum, I'm going home with Re- oh hey," Henry glanced around the office, noticing the random marshmallows lying about; "do I want to know?"
Regina stood up and leaned her butt against my desk; her warm body ever so close to my smirking face.
"Located the marshmallows, Regina got angry and started throwing them at me," I shrugged my shoulders, "same old, same old,"
"Oh but you skimmed over the bit where I walked in on you napping,"
I grabbed one of the mini marshmallows, rested it on my thumb and shoved it up Regina's unsuspecting nostril,
"Nope, that's a lie kid; don't believe a word she's saying,"
Regina deadpanned as Henry burst into a fit of giggles at the image of his Principal with a mini marshmallow jammed up her right nostril. That worked a little better than I was originally anticipating. The woman turned to me while Henry started coughing from lack of oxygen and placed one finger over her free nostril, and snorted. The marshmallow popped out and landed in my lap. The brunette grabbed two of the little pillows of goodness and shoved them up both of my nostrils.
"How about that, Ms Swan?" my breathing was cut short and suddenly filled with the scent of artificial strawberry and sugary sweet vanilla.
"Mm, artificial," my voice sounded strange, like someone had clamped shut my nose with a washing line peg, "hey Regina, would you still love me if I sounded like this all the time?"
Henry was probably having an asthma attack over in the corner from the amount of laughing he was doing.
"I'd love you even if you couldn't speak at all… which frankly, I'd love you more for,"
Henry made a 'oh burn' noise in the background and I smiled up at her. She was so beautiful and lovely even if she did have powder from the sweets on her cheek. I grabbed two more marshmallows and as lovely as humanly possible, crammed them up her nose.
"Emma," her voice was beyond hilarious as she furrowed her eyebrows at my immaturity,
"Regina," I frowned at her.
"Emma you are a child,"
"I know," We didn't even bother removing the marshmallows.
This was it, this was the moment. Here, in my office, with marshmallows up our nostrils and my son taking deep breaths from his inhaler. I would ask Regina Mills to marry me.
I slipped my hand into the back pocket of my black dress trousers and pulled out the emerald green box that I had been opening and closing over the past two days. Regina looked comical with her wide eyes and marshmallow filled nose as I got down onto one knee.
"Oh my god, it's happening!" Henry gasped through her inhaler. I popped open the box and Regina froze in shock, still with marshmallows in her nostrils, I might add.
"Regina Marie Mills, will you marry me?"
"Yes, oh god, yes," She sobbed and put her hand up to her mouth as I slipped the ring onto her other hand. Regina inspected it closely, "it's beautiful dear, amethyst and white gold, how'd you know?"
"Eh, I don't know," truth is, I didn't know, it was a wild guess. Suddenly, Henry wrapped himself around the both of us and squeezed us closer together. Regina cupped my face in her hands and I had to quickly pull away,
"Regina, babe, you might want to remove those marshmallows,"
"Oh… right," Regina snorted and the two blockages shot out her nose and plopped onto the floor.
"That's better," I pulled Regina's face towards mine, "that's much better, Mrs Regina Swan-Mills,"
Regina hummed under my touch as Henry sighed in content, "now I have two Mum's; this day couldn't get any better… unless, you know, my Maths homework got cancelled…"
"Shut up Henry," Regina twisted her fingers through my hair and crashed her lips against mine.
Regina was mine. All mine and I couldn't be happier.
THE END
SQSQSQ
a/n: once again, thank you all for reading. you're all glorious little dumplings.
PS i know you all were hanging out for hectic smut but by golly, there is some of that shit coming up in my next fics, i promise.
Emma xo