NOVEMBER

"Who's the better kisser?"

I sighed loudly. Logan had been quiet and brooding for just over a week, and I had finally run out of Halloween candy. The weather outside was actually calm and clear, the snow sparkling prettily. I wanted it to sleet. Make real mushy snow stained with mud, so outside of the truck would suck just as badly as inside.

"It's different for both of yah." I said.

"But who's better?"

"Ah liked yah both in different ways."

"Marie!" He growled.

His eyes flashed gold for a second, and I knew Wolverine was just as interested. In my head, they bickered over it too. I had refused to settle the dispute, because I hadn't wanted to take sides. But now I was pressed into a corner.

"...Logan." I was forced to mutter.

Logan slapped the steering wheel with a loud "Hah!" I stared out the window while the Logan in my head celebrated in a similar manner. I loved him, but sometimes he was a jerk. He was supposed to kiss me because he loved me, not out of some stupid Alpha male competition with himself.

"Which did you like better?" He suddenly asked with a suspicious glare.

"Jus' counting kissing?" I asked back. "'Cause if we're counting other stuff, that's not fair. Yah got to do a lot of other stuff."

"Just kissing." Logan agreed.

"Wolverine."

His eyes turned gold again, and he let out a triumphant snarl. Hazel flooded back into his eyes though, and the next growl he made sounded more frustrated.

"You said I was better."

"But Wolverine..." I paused to think about it. "He tried harder. It was sweet."

Logan shot me a dirty look, apparently not satisfied by my answer.

"When he wants to show affection, he'll nuzzle or bite meh. 'The'..." I made air quotes at his stupid title. "Wolverine doesn't kiss. But he tried, for meh."

Logan stayed quiet for a long while after that. He reached over and took my hand though, encouraging me to place mine on top of his over the gear shift. He didn't say anything for the rest of the drive, but it made me feel better that he had reached out for me. Touch was very important for both of us. Obviously, for me since I worried about it so much. There had to be a lot of trust between us for him to touch my skin and for me to let him. And Logan wasn't exactly the most verbal person, so I tried to cut him some slack.

He'd also earned a lot of brownie points by ignoring the slutty waitress-maid, and I was still happy about that. Trying to share with Wolverine when he had never done that before must be really difficult for him too. He'd regressed some, in the sense that he hadn't taken me anywhere since Halloween and he'd back off of the physical stuff. No more make out sessions or mind-blowing orgasms. But he hadn't made us sleep in different beds, although he kept his hands to himself, to my disappointment. At least he hadn't banned kissing. I still got light kisses, just nothing like Halloween night.

I reminded myself it was better than nothing, and he hadn't tried to go back on the dating thing. Sometimes Logan was a jerk, and a stupid one at that, but I wasn't perfect either. No one was. And if I was going to put effort into a relationship with anyone, it would be Logan.

He was worth it.

"'Mere."

I paused in the middle of setting up our room. Designating a laundry corner, getting out our bathroom stuff, checking that we had clean clothes for the morning. Logan kicked the door shut behind him and set our takeout dinner on the little table. I straightened up from my unpacking and walked over to him. He looked so good, fresh from outside, snow lightly dusting his wild hair and broad shoulders.

Sometimes I couldn't understand how he had any interest in me at all. I was scrawny and my features were too big for my face. His face was hard and unsophisticated. Like the sculptor who chiseled his face out of marble had left it rough and walked away before adding the finishing touches. But it worked for him. If God had smoothed out those last few edges, it would have taken away from the rawness of his appeal.

He grabbed me when I got close enough and pulled me to him. I might have tripped over my feet and stumbled a little. Probably slipped in a puddle of my own drool. He pressed us together and bent his head down for a kiss. His mouth covered mine and his tongue swiped across my lips. I parted them eagerly, but he pulled back and rested his forehead on mine.

"Not this time." He murmured.

I made a disappointed noise, but he cut it off by kissing me again. It was softer this time, yet his lips still pressed against mine insistently. I tried kissing back. The leather of his jacket touching my bare arms was cold, but his lips were warm, and it was all perfect.

Then he took my bottom lip between his, and it got even better. He sucked on it lightly, the tip of his tongue just barely brushing it. The whole world dissolved into something soft and warm. Or maybe I was the one melting. I didn't know how I should be responding to that or where my hands should go, so I just settled them on his shoulders and let him have control. His teeth closed around my bottom lip, and he pulled back, tugging gently. I caught a quick glimpse of dark hazel through my half-shut eyes, then he pressed back forward, kissing me deeply again.

When he finally stopped, my mind had decided to go on hiatus, and all I could do was blink stupidly up at him. If he hadn't been holding me, I probably would have swooned at his feet and flopped around down there like a Magikarp. I certainly felt wet enough to have just used Splash. I blushed as he just kept staring at me, not saying anything that could derail my crazy thoughts.

"Can Ah try too?" I asked.

"Sure, kid."

We both stopped as the word seemed to hang in the air between us. Logan's jaw clenched for a second before he began to stammer and try to backpedal.

"It ain't—I uh, you're not a child, you just—"

I decided to help him out a little. "Ah'm jus' younger than yah."

He gave a relieved nod, then considered my answer a bit more. "Everybody's probably younger than me."

"Then why does it matter with meh?"

He stared off into space and looked like he was about to start brooding again, so I pushed him a little more. I was fine with him taking control—it was so sexy—but I wanted to be able to kiss him and make him feel warm inside too.

"Please let meh..."

Logan focused back on me, but his eyes stayed dark. "Yeah."

I pushed down a smile. I couldn't kiss him if I was grinning too hard. I had to raise up on my tiptoes just a little to reach him, and I was glad he wasn't one of those really tall guys or it wouldn't have worked at all. But we were the perfect height for each other, so that I could easily kiss him. I touched my lips to his, and then the insecurities started.

What if I was doing it wrong? What if he didn't like it? What if my skin turned on?

You're doing fine, darling. You've got us so whipped, you could kick us in the balls and we'd thank you for it.

And ya might be able to knock us on our ass, but we'll jest pop right back up again.

Logan's hand moved up from my waist and rubbed up my back. I relaxed into his touch and gained enough confidence to try to imitate the way he had kissed me. I concentrated on his lower lip, sucking on it slightly. It was warm and firm and tasted like him. I pulled it further into my mouth to get a better taste and tried rubbing my tongue over it. I worried he might think it was weird or slobbery, but he made that deep groaning noise in his chest, and I had to fight down another grin.

I made him do that. I made my super hot boyfriend groan with desire.

I didn't really know what to do after that though. I felt like I'd done a good job of mimicking the lower lip thing, if Logan's groan had anything to do with it, and I thought it might be best if I quit while I was ahead. So I stopped and leaned back some to get a look at Logan's face.

"Was that good?"

"Yeah...it—"

He cut off and kissed me, his hand on my back moving up to cup the back of my head. Just as I was about to swoon again, he ended it and shoved a sack of takeout into my arms. He slid past me and sat down on the bed. I sat down the takeout and watched him stare at his boots, although he didn't make any move to take them off.

"Want meh to take yeh boots off, sugah?" I asked, trying not to get upset.

"No."

Sometimes it worked better to just ignore his moods, but he couldn't kiss me like that and then act all pouty and upset. If I had done something wrong, he should be an adult and tell me. I stomped over and stood in front of him with my arms crossed.

"Ya can't...kneel in front of me right now. It just ain't a good idea." He muttered, placing his hand protectively over his crotch.

I looked down at it with a new understanding. Obviously, I knew Logan got erections around me. I'd discovered that months ago, suspected it for even longer. And of course I had felt it on Halloween. But it was still a shock to realize I really could give him an erection, after just a kiss.

"So it was good then?" I pressed.

"Yeah—yes, it was..." He made another slight gesture to his crotch.

I pointed at it. "Hah!"

Logan gave me a look of pure male indignation, mixed with man-puppy hurt. I realized how it must have sounded to his sensitive male mind and winced in sympathy.

"Not like ha-ha." I amended. "Like...Ah-did-that-to-yah-hah."

"Yes, Marie you...Jesus." Logan swiped his hand across his face.

I reached out and grabbed his other hand. He flinched a little, but he allowed me to pull him up and lead him to the little table. I set out the cartons of Chinese food, giving Logan the boxes of meat and keeping the rice and vegetables for myself.

"Yah can't throw a hissy fit every time yah get an erection." I said.

Logan speared a piece of chicken with his chopstick. "I'm not."

"Really? Yeh not mad?"

He pierced a few more pieces like a shish kabob. "No."

"Uh huh..."

"Not at ya."

He ripped into the meat on his stick with his teeth, cutting off any more conversation. I drummed my fingers on the table and waited until he finished.

"Who are yah mad at?"

I managed to half-scoop and half-spear a piece of broccoli with a clump of rice. Logan sulked at his food for a long moment before he finally answered.

"Me."

I nodded and swallowed. "Why?"

Logan stayed silent, not even eating. I could tell by his brooding expression he was going into his deep, dark place. The Logan in my head tried to keep me away from that place, but I knew he blamed himself for a lot of things, even if I only had a hazy idea of what these things were.

"Ah know yah have a list, 'cause yah always think everything is yeh fault. Jus' give meh the overview." I said.

Logan started eating again and still didn't answer. But I didn't get the feeling he was ignoring me. Words were just hard for him, so I usually tried to give him some time to figure things out before I really started pressing him. He could have until the end of our meal.

We ate in silence, but at least the Chinese was good. I decided not to cheat and ask my Logan what Real-Logan felt. I wanted Real-Logan to tell me himself, and I didn't know how compromised my Logan might be after spending so much time in my head anyway. I concentrated on eating my food in the meantime. I really wanted to learn how to use chopsticks, but I wasn't very good at it. My rice staged a rebellion, and I chased it around the carton. Sometimes I could manage to clump it together, but I hadn't mastered actually balancing it all the way up and into my mouth.

"Here."

Another set of chopsticks descended into my carton, expertly and easily scooping up the bite of rice I wanted. Logan held it out for me, but there was no way I would be able to transfer the rice onto my chopsticks without ruining his perfect clump. I leaned forward and ate it off of his sticks instead, noting the way his eyes darkened when I did. I wondered if he had another erection. Or did he have the same one from earlier? How long did those things last, anyway?

Hours. My Logan replied mournfully.

Really? Maybeh yah should see a doctor.

"How did yah do that?" I asked.

Logan blinked and stared at his chopsticks. "Dunno."

He tried to repeat the action with his own rice, but he was as bad as me once more. I could see him getting more and more frustrated, so I reached out and grabbed his other hand. He set the carton aside and looked away while I rubbed the skin between his knuckles.

"I'm supposed to have more control." He said.

"Over?"

"Myself."

I waited for him to explain. His jaw and fist clenched a few times. I might have him in my head, giving me a better understanding of how he felt, but it was so hard to get through to him. I wished I could do the opposite with my skin and give him my voice so I could support and protect him from himself, the way he did for me.

"I don't want to fuck this up!" His voice and the desperation in it startled me. "I'm supposed to be the adult and be responsible and a good boyfriend who does sweet things and takes it slow, but I just—I don't know how!"

The chopstick he gripped suddenly snapped in half, and Logan looked down at it like it was a bunny's neck and not a thin piece of wood. I quickly stood up and moved over to him before he could work himself into a full on breakdown the way I had last year. He didn't push me away when I straddled his lap, but he didn't acknowledge me either. I grabbed his face with both hands and forced him to look at me.

"Breathe, sugah. Yeh so worried about screwing this up, yeh screwing it up. Jus' relax. Breathe."

Logan leaned into my touch, although he kept his hands on the table and didn't touch me. I ran my hand back into his hair, smoothing through the strands until he relaxed a little more.

"Yah are a responsible adult. Yeh the one who made us wait to do anything until Ah was sixteen. An' yah never touched meh before then." I said.

He leaned forward and rested his forehead on my shoulder, but not before I caught his guilty look.

"Once."

What, he touched me once? I thought hard, but I couldn't remember anything. And I would damn well remember it if he had touched me like that.

"Ya were sleepin' and wet already." He mumbled.

It hit me what he was talking about. "Yah didn't have a nightmare at all!"

"I did. Before. Woke up and...jest wanted to touch ya."

He rubbed his face against my neck, and I wondered if maybe Wolverine was coming through some. I couldn't see his eyes though, so I couldn't check. I kept petting his hair, and he sighed. I definitely felt embarrassed that he had in fact caught me having a wet dream and maybe a little miffed that he had apparently touched me while I was asleep, but then again...that was the best damn dream I'd ever had. And even though he had clearly been craving some kind of comfort, he hadn't woken me up and demanded I touch him. Instead, he had given pleasure to me, which was kind of selfless, once I started thinking about it.

"Ah forgive yah." I told him. "Jus' wake meh up next time, alrah-ght sugah?"

He nodded into my neck and finally wrapped his arms around me. "Yeah."

"Ah don't wanna go to awful, fancy restaurants every night. Ah jus' wanna hold hands, an' call yah mah boyfriend, an' maybeh go iceskating or something." I said.

Logan looked up. "I can do that."

"An' we pinky promised to be adults an' talk about stuff, remember?" I asked. "So yah can ask meh if yeh not sure about something."

He gave a small, wry smile. "Okay."

"See, then? Not so bad. We got this." I said, smiling back at him.

His face turned serious, and I mentally groaned. "We gotta take things slower, darling."

Well at least I was darling again and not kid.

"Jus' kissing?"

"Yeah."

Disappointing, but not devastating. As much as I loved the mind-blowing orgasms, I was still a little embarrassed about how out of hand that kiss had ended up. I wasn't entirely sure I was ready to do that again, but I definitely wanted to keep the kissing.

"Tongue?"

"Not...right now."

I inwardly smirked at his reply. "Alrah-ght."

"I'm trying really hard not to..." He trailed off and took a deep breath.

"Relax. If things get a little too...heated, Ah'll jus' remind yah." I said.

"It shouldn't be your job to say no." He muttered.

I bit back a protest. I had always been told it was the girl's job to say no. We were the ones who were supposed to set limits and think about birth control. But Logan always thought about what was best for me first.

"Oh, sugah." I sighed. "Yeh perfect, an' yeh don't even know it."

Logan gave me a confused look. "What?"

"Can Ah have birth control?" I asked.

His jaw dropped. "Wh-what? Why?"

"It would stop mah period, so we wouldn't have to go through that every month." I answered.

He actually seemed to consider that. Logan was really nice about my period, but it wasn't fun for either of us when I got really hormonal and didn't want to do anything but eat my weight in chocolate.

"An' yah have to take it for a month before having sex for it to work."

"We're not going to be having sex in a month." Logan said in his stern voice.

"Ah know. But it would be safer to get meh on it now, jus' in case." I said.

"Or we could just not have sex."

"We're both trying really hard, but we're not exactly the most well-behaved people. Ah didn't think Ah'd be having an orgasm on Halloween either." I replied.

Logan still looked unconvinced.

"Ah love yah Logan, but Ah'm not having yeh baby at sixteen."

His eyes flashed gold. "How old?"

I cocked my head and tried to figure that out. Did Wolverine just ask me how old did I want to be when I had his baby? Because I definitely wanted to get married and have his babies, just not right now.

They turned back hazel. "Sorry, ignore him. You don't hafta—"

"After college." I said.

Wolverine came back and growled in approval before Logan took over again.

"Don't get him started on that." He warned, then took a deep breath. "You can have birth control, but we're not having sex. And can we just...talk about that later?"

I nodded. "Yeah. We can wait a bit before we deal with that."

Logan gave me a relieved nod back. "Yeah, okay."

"So...feel better now?" I checked.

He cupped my cheek and pulled me into a kiss in reply. Sitting on his lap, I was just below eye level with him, so he hardly had to lean down. It was soft and perfect, and he followed it up by placing a light kiss on my forehead. I leaned into his arms and laid my head on his shoulder while he stroked a hand through my hair.

"Next time you kiss him," Logan murmured. "Do it how I showed you."

I squeezed him tightly and lifted my head enough to kiss him on the cheek. Maybe he and Wolverine didn't get along perfectly, but Logan was at least trying.

"Ah love yah."

"Love ya too, darlin'."

YOU'VE GOT MAIL!

I was suddenly snatched up and yanked against a wall of muscle, with a thick arm wrapped securely around my waist. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes and saw Logan waving his claws around the air in front of us. My brave, protective man-puppy.

"S'okay, sugah. Jus' mah laptop. Ah musta left it on." I mumbled, rubbing his arm.

He relaxed, then growled. "Turn it the fuck off."

Grumpy man-puppy. I got up and crawled across the bed, reaching out to the table and pulling my laptop into my lap. I swirled my finger around the mouse pad, then flinched when the whole screen lit up. Logan snarled and tossed his arm over his head on his side of the bed.

"Sorry!"

He grunted. I turned back to the screen and almost shut it down, when the email address caught my eye. I stared at it for a few moments, thinking I must still be half-asleep or hallucinating or something.

That was my mother's email address.

"'Sup, kid?" Logan grumbled, propping himself up on his elbow.

I swallowed hard. "Mama emailed meh."

A/N: I don't want a lot of shit about birth control and abstinence and blah blah blah politics. I think it's safe to assume that everyone who's read this far supports their relationship and don't give no fucks how they fuck so long as they fuck already, but just in case—please just don't. I'm trying to depict actual relationship struggles here, not give you my political opinion.

So other than that, please let me know what you think of dating!LoganxMarie. Because my muse fucking dumped my ass. She was all like, "Oh, they're together now? Wow, guess you don't need me anymore. Peace, bitch!" And left me sitting here, staring at the blank screen, thinking, "Now what?" Which is fucking ridiculous because I have two more years worth of story plotted out for them, but suddenly, I'm just kinda...meh.

But don't worry, I give you my oath that I will write through this and not abandon them! Just please cut me some slack if anything seems a little off about their relationship. I don't really have any healthy relationship experience to draw on, so I'm just making shit up at this point.

Coming up next: Marie goes home, Wolverine is pissed, and Logan meets the parents...