Thank you, Paisley Snail for your continued help! You're simply great!

He awoke, his head mercifully clear, or at least a lot clearer than it had been before, and with a toe poking into one of his nostrils.

There was a woman in his bed, and he had just slept next to her innocently– how extraordinary! He couldn't recall a single time that he had slept in anyone's company, unless he counted the times that he had recuperated in Poppy's care.

A woman in his bed, a student who had seen his naked hide… He waited for the dread and humiliation to set in, waited for the fear of being discovered and punished for this indecency. But nothing of the sort happened.

He tilted his head backwards and closed his eyes again, only listening to her soft snores which turned into odd grunts every few seconds. A most peculiar witch, he thought, but he hadn't enough experience with female bed partners, to know whether or not the sounds she produced were normal.

He felt content at that moment, not in the least guilty for letting her sleep next to him. No one would know except Albus, perhaps, but the old man wouldn't say anything or do anything but smile indulgently and ask impertinent questions later.

To hell with propriety, he thought, and snuggled deeper into his bedding, only to realise that he was the only one covered by a blanket. That would probably explain why she was clinging to his legs like a baby, searching for warmth.

Not knowing where the hell he had put his wand, he concentrated and searched for hers, which he knew she kept in her sleeve. Once the slim piece of wood rested in his hand, again with an odd sense of familiarity, he whispered an incantation to conjure another duvet and heard her sigh in her sleep.

She lost the death grip she had on his spindly legs and wriggled around a bit before falling still again.

Severus smiled into the dimly lit room, which was only illuminated by one candle that had managed to burn longer than the others. It felt ridiculously normal to share the bed with his bonded by his side.

Warmth thrummed through his veins, lighting his soul from within. Feeling safe, he put an arm over the leg nearest to him and pulled it towards him with great care. With a shuddery sigh he enjoyed her nearness, satisfying his continued yearning for the feel of another human's warm flesh without having to deal with the sexual aspect and the complications it could bring.

He tucked her bare foot under his chin only to have her toes kick him against his jaw, making his teeth click together. It made him grunt, but when nothing else happened, he relaxed again and puckered his lips to press a gentle kiss on her big toe, but stopped at the last second. Instead, he ran his nose along her toes, feeling the nails skim over his skin. She snorted, and her foot jerked in his hand.

"What are you doing?" she asked sleepily, and suddenly lay very still and stiff, but wasn't removing her foot – yet.

He thought quickly, not really knowing what caused him to do such things around her. He just did what he felt was right, and what felt good.

"Apologising," was his reply, and he thought it quite a sensible one.

"To my foot?" she asked, incredulous.

He grunted in mild embarrassment. "At least it can't look at me fearfully when I go anywhere near it," he snarked defensively, and sighed immediately afterwards as he realised how childish he sounded.

"You haven't forgiven me," she said in a small voice, and tried to pull her foot away, but he held tight.

"I like holding grudges," he stated in a gruff voice, hearing the petulance in his voice and hating it.

"You don't say!" she scoffed, and squeaked in discomfort when he tried to wedge his nose between her toes. "I'm ticklish," she mumbled and fell silent again.

Glad that she hadn't pulled away completely, he tucked the foot back under his chin, unknowingly tickling her with the stubble that had sprouted on his face.

"Stop that, I'm trying to sleep," she giggled softly. Then more serious, "You don't have a weird foot fetish, do you?" The dread in her voice wasn't faked.

Now it was his turn to snort. "No, not that I know of," he promised.

"What are you apologising for?" she asked, a little bewildered. Gooseflesh erupted all over her forearms as his breath ghosted over her toes.

"I thought about what I said before you fled, and I have to tell you... that I know everything that has happened to you." He heard her moan and noticed how her breathing altered to a faster pace.

"Legilimency, I know. Poppy told me," she rushed out, before he could delve deeper into the subject. "And I thank you never to mention any of my injuries, especially the more… private ones, ever again. Besides, I wasn't angry with you, just disgusted by my less than perfect… b-body."

Severus was glad to hear that he hadn't actually hurt her with his thoughtless words, and debated whether or not to tell her about his own imperfections. In the end, he decided to keep quiet on the subject.

"Very well," he answered, not nearly as discomfited with the private topic as he would have been with another person. "There's one more thing. I did not intend to scare you, but I cannot promise that I won't do it again unwittingly. There will always be situations were I will have to play the part."

He heard her mutter, "In class, for starters," and smirked.

"No doubt," he confirmed dryly. "And you shouldn't forget… what I am."

"My bonded?"

He could hear the faint amusement in her tone, but he answered seriously. "A Death Eater!"

"My bonded," she said firmly and the discussion was closed again.

Severus, however, was afraid of a relapse if she kept ignoring what he was. With a fluid movement he was on all fours and looming over her, trying to ignore his throbbing temples.

"I am a Death Eater, don't forget it. I am cruel and brutal, vindictive, spiteful… I can kill without batting an eyelid, and I can sleep just fine afterwards."

Her deer-in-the-headlight look was suddenly replaced by a mild frown. "You're lying."

He looked owlishly at her, wondering what she was playing at.

"You're lying," she repeated, trembling slightly with fear but her voice was strong. "At least about the last part of your brilliantly scary speech." Her hand came up to push his hair away from his face to see his eyes better. "You don't sleep well afterwards."

"And how would you know?" he drawled, and pressed her hand back against the bedding and held it there.

"Let go," she wheezed and almost choked on her own saliva, but she managed to stay strong.

Severus followed her order with a mental growl at himself for overdoing it. He was surprised, when instead of scolding him or fleeing from him, she continued with her explanation.

"I can feel it," she said, bewildered by the realisation.

"Oh, bollocks," Severus said with none of his usual verbal grace. "Don't tell me this is another result of the ritual." He leaned back against the headboard, and the part of him that wasn't annoyed with yet another result of the ritual he'd used was just glad that she hadn't looked too panicked as he had towered over her.

"So I was right." It wasn't a question, but more of a gleeful statement. It made him glower at her.

"Yes, you little pain," he said sourly.

Hermione just chuckled at his childish fit of pique and wriggled closer to his legs, which were crossed at the ankles.

"Are we okay again?" she asked, and lifted her head a little to bravely look at his shadowed features.

He nodded, his eyes relaying the relieved smile that refused to show on his lips.

She hugged his thin legs with a happy sigh and closed her eyes as if they hadn't just made an incredible find.

"You should get back under the covers, your feet are icy," she told him, trying to go back to sleep. She smiled to herself, realising that she really did trust him. He might manage to make her uneasy at times, but she promised herself that she would try and work through that.

Severus' eyes goggled, aghast at her ability to just ignore this latest development, and pinched his nose. They would have to discuss this another time, not right now in the middle of the night, so he gave in and stretched out in his bed again, staying on his back. The movement dislodged Hermione, but she didn't complain, simply wrapping her arm around his thighs, which were now level with her upper body.

"Unless you want to be scared again by my… maleness, you might want to lower your arm," he said, with painful honesty. Her elbow was perilously close to his penis, and he feared scaring her with an erection. Talking about his genitalia was rather awkward, but he would have hated to see her run in fear.

With an embarrassed cough, she lowered her hand – in the wrong direction.

"Lower it the other way," he hissed when she almost grazed his thankfully still flaccid bits.

With a mouse-like squeal, she pulled her arm away and fumbled for his ankle, holding it securely.

"If you could allow the blood flow to continue, I'd be ever so grateful," he rumbled and chuckled at her apologetic patting of his appendage.

"What would McGonagall say?" Hermione asked when she had calmed herself.

"About?" he drawled, quite certain about what she meant to say, and wanting to hear it in her words.

"This. Us. Here."

He had to close his eyes and savour the word 'us' coming form her lips, trying to stop an insipid smile to form on his face. He had never been included in an 'us', unless he was amongst the Death Eaters or the faculty. Neither of those groups filled him with the wish to belong any more; he now had a wish to belong to her.

"We don't want to find out," he said blithely, and closed his eyes. He still couldn't summon any remorse over being in his bed with her. Since her return, he had only seen her as his bonded – a young woman that meant more to him than Minerva could possibly fathom.

xxx

It was hours later when Hermione woke with a gasp, her eyes wide and worried.

"Lumos," she said urgently.

Severus, light sleeper that he was, sat up immediately and looked down to the foot of his bed where she lay. Her panicked eyes, when she suddenly sat up straight, were making his heart race with worry.

"What?" he asked, his voice still rough from sleep. Had he done something to her while they slept – touched her indecently, perhaps?

"I told Nop to tell Poppy that I would be in the infirmary soon."

One of his thick but narrow eyebrows rose questioningly, the small hairs still a bit tousled from sleep, she noticed with fascination. At his obvious lack of understanding, she elaborated: "I never showed!"

He groaned and sank back into the bedding, throwing an arm over his face. "Nop," he called and grinned at Hermione's shriek when the elf popped up on the bed, bouncing slightly on the mattress.

"Yes?" the small creature asked, a wide grin forming on his face when he noticed how his two humans had spent the night. "You is fast," he said with surprise, but also male appreciation for a bloke who had apparently scored. The meaning of his words was unmistakable.

"NOP!" said two displeased voices whose owners studiously avoided eye-contact.

Wrapping a blanket around herself despite her fully-dressed state, Hermione jumped from the bed.

"Nop, we did not have… intercourse," Severus ground out. It had been a lot easier to speak about such delicate subjects in the dark while he was all mellow from the alcohol!

"I see, too early yet," Nop said, with an understanding nod.

"We are friends, not a couple," Hermione seethed from a few feet away. She had begun to feel comfortable in Severus' presence, and now the elf had to put a heavy emphasis on sex and a man's needs. With a heavy heart she shrugged out of the duvet to leave.

"Wait," Severus called, and climbed from the bed, not overly comfortable in just his nightshirt. When during the night he had lost his bathrobe was anyone's guess. "Hermione, wait!" It could have been the usage of her first name or the pleading tone that made her turn, but he was glad that she hadn't fled.

"I told you before that I don't require… sex from you," he told her, feeling warmth rush to his cheeks.

Hermione spoke before she could edit her thoughts. "You know, I don't know whether to be glad or insulted," she said truthfully.

That brought him up short, and he just stared at her. "You want to have sexual relations?" he whispered, wondering if any alarm bells would go off in Albus' office at the heavy usage of the s-word between student and teacher.

Hermione nibbled on her lip and produced a nonsensical "Hmm…phhh?" She shrugged helplessly. She really didn't know. She was scared of a man's body, especially the protruding parts in the middle. And she loathed her mutilated bits, not wanting anyone to see them. On the other hand, she still yearned for some physical attentions.

"I don't think I want to die with just that one… experience," she said softly, staring at the ground. "But there are other factors that make me want to be celibate forever."

"That was your first time?" he asked, sounding as miserable as she felt. He saw her nod.

Both stood in silence, not sure what to do or say.

"What did you call me for?" Nop interrupted the oppressive silence, sounding as snarky as his master.

Severus was grateful for the change of subject. "Did you tell Poppy that Miss Granger would be coming later?"

"Of course," the elf began, sounding indignant, "but when I broughts little Miss here, I wents back to Madam Pomfrey and told her that she founds a place to sleep with you."

"What did Poppy say?" Severus wasn't sure he wanted to know.

Nop grinned in a salacious manner, really not the average doting elf, it seemed. "She snorted with amusement, then wents back to her rooms."

"Lovely," Hermione grumbled. "Why does everyone think we are doing… more than we actually are?"

"Because you are bonded," Nop told her softly.

"But I thought the spell didn't necessarily mean that we are going to be… lovers," she almost whined. "Why can't anybody tell me the exact definition of that bloody ritual?" she barked suddenly.

"Severus wills surely do so, when time is rights," Nop soothed her.

"Will you stop speaking for me, Nop! Maybe I should insist on proper address from you, elf," Severus snarked.

His elf grinned and gave a mocking bow before disappearing.

"Has he got a split personality?" Hermione wondered aloud. "He is always different."

Severus didn't answer her question, but fidgeted slightly. "I believe it is time for breakfast soon."

"What time is it?" she asked, searching the walls in futile for a clock.

Severus pinched his nose, he really didn't have a clue what the time was, he had only wanted to be alone to attend some urgent business. His head was beginning to hurt in earnest now.

"It seems I have been asked to piss off," she said and drew her eyebrows together at his behaviour.

"I need to… get ready," Severus huffed in explanation, not wanting to say that he needed to empty his bladder and have a bowel movement. Some things were just too private to talk about. Perhaps his foot-shuffling might have given him away, as she bit her lower lip with a suppressed smirk.

Before he had a chance to blush, Severus shooed her to the door, not unkindly. "Go on, I'm sure Nop will already be waiting for you."

"I have been told to eat in the Great Hall from now on," Hermione said moodily, missing the kitchens already.

"Albus?" he guessed, and saw her nod with a glower. "As soon as you've passed your exams, you can eat at the Head Table," he told her, and saw her nod.

"I don't have to use all four weeks of preparation if I don't want to, do I?"

"Why, are you thinking of taking them earlier?"

"I believe a week of intense studying will do," she said, nodding to herself.

"If you're only in a hurry to escape the student benches, I'd advise you not to do it. If you don't pass your N.E.W.T.s, you will have to finish the year the normal way, you know that."

"Two weeks, then," she said, as if trying to make a deal with him.

He looked bemused. "You don't need my permission to do anything," he said, even though he secretly liked her asking for his opinion.

She nibbled on her lower lip again, and Severus watched her while absentmindedly scratching the skin just above his pubic hair. Of course, Hermione would choose that moment to look at him again. When she saw what he was doing, she blushed and stuttered a hasty "Goodbye".

He watched her leave. "Well, you have just destroyed what little sexual interest she might have had in you, old fool," he muttered to himself, feeling disturbingly disappointed at that thought, not to say jealous at whatever nincompoop she would eventually choose. He rubbed his forehead as he stomped off into his bathroom.

He noticed that his toilet seat was lowered and rolled his eyes, knowing it must have been the bushy-haired imp. His days had been getting weirder and weirder since she stumbled into his life. The thought didn't bring the vexation he had expected, but another thing that was even worse: confusion.

Things were getting blurry, and he didn't know what to think anymore, how to act. Could he continue to let her into his life without any remorse, without any fear for the ramifications? Had the ritual addled his brain?

The longer he thought about it, the more confused he became. What had seemed perfectly easy in the dark room and the bed they'd shared felt preposterous when he stood in front of his mirror looking at himself. How had he jumped from accepting her friendship to thinking about the girl in connection with sex?

He stood for an eternity, toothpaste running down his chin and reddening the sensitive skin there as he tried to reach a conclusion that refused to come. Somehow he couldn't get past the selfish need to accept everything she could offer. He wouldn't push her or force her to do anything, but other than that, he would hopelessly enjoy the times when she needed physical reassurances.