A/N: Sorry about all the dialogue, hopefully it doesn't detract from anything. Once again, a lot of confessions and explanations needed so they can move forward as well as some angst. Let me know what you think.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Emma's POV

Emma tentatively reached out to turn the warm water on intent on taking a shower even if it was four in the morning. So far, throughout treatment she had only felt like she was gaining weight at the expense of her confidence and as an added bonus, becoming reacquainted with her OCD. This was one of the reasons she was determined to take a shower, something that had only grown harder with time. She had tried yesterday evening and failed but today she could no longer stand how dirty she felt.

Turning the water on was the easy part. It was the prospect of everything afterwards that had led her to where she was now, sitting with her back against the cupboard opposite the tub, a towel draped around her body, her hands resting carefully at her sides as she stared at nothing.

At three-thirty she had woken up with a smile seeming to instantly register the ring that was now lying on the counter above her head. She had examined it for half an hour under the safety of Will's gentle breathing for the first time, too embarrassed to do it while he could see.

It was a simple piece of jewelry as far as engagement rings went; dainty and feminine, a silver band with a single diamond in the center. She thought it was lovely, perfect, not too elegant it would draw undue attention but not plain and boring either. Despite its simplicity it had already had some profound effects. As she had made her way to the bathroom she hadn't been subjected to a litany of reasons why Will might leave her the proof of commitment on her finger holding them at bay. It had been a blessed five foot journey in normalcy until she had come face to face with the reason for her excursion to begin with.

Emma clamored to her feet, the restlessness in her mind mirrored by the restlessness that coursed through her body. She tried not to think about just how difficult the pacing had become to stop over the last couple weeks.

During one pass she stilled long enough to check the temperature of the water. On another she attempted to crawl in. Both efforts were eventually thwarted by what was now manifesting as an overwhelming, irresistible urge to move. If she sat still it felt like she would jump out of her skin and her mind sprinted from thought to thought, worry to worry faster than it normally did. As soon as she started pacing both sensations would lesson somewhat. Over and over she retraced her footsteps in the small bathroom, the sound of water hitting the bottom of the tub mocking her inability to regain control long enough to get clean.

A knock on the door startled her. Will did not normally get up at four in the morning which meant she must have woken him knowledge that left her feeling embarrassed for openly admiring the ring for so long.

When he simply opened the door and walked in Emma knew he was aware something was not right. There was always something not right with her.

"Baby," he called half-yawning the word. "Are you okay?" Will crossed the room placing his hand against the towel that covered her lower back.

Emma flinched involuntarily at the pet name instantly back in the park with Gates, his rude hands roaming up her stomach, across her chest, his erection pressed into her thigh as he held her against the tree, the sound of his voice as he had called her baby reverberating in her mind.

Will's POV

Will watched in confusion as Emma tore away from his touch continuing the incessant pacing that was fast growing difficult to watch her eyes losing their focus as her breathing grew rapid. Carefully he followed her, blocking her path when she tried to keep moving once she was facing him again.

"What's wrong?" He questioned lightly daring to place his hand on her forearm pulling back as if he had been burned when Emma shrank away.

It wasn't uncommon for her to act this way if she was feeling fat but there was something different this time.

"Please, don't do this. Please." She begged her eyes cloudy and fearful.

Will froze those five words more than enough to tell him what was going on. Carefully he backed away from his hands held at chest height in the universal gesture of surrender.

"Emma," he began softly working around the hitch in his voice, "He's not here."

She wasn't as far gone as he thought she was. His voice seemed to be working so he kept it up telling her over and over that she was safe as he inched closer breathing a sigh of relief when he was finally able to wrap his arms around her the absence of a flinch evidence enough that he had broken through.

"I have nightmares sometimes." Her breath was warm against his neck.

Will had often wondered if she hadn't. Just within her starting treatment he had woken up to the sound of her crying on a few separate occasions. He had tried to write it off but the second time, when she had told herself that she was safe with him, that he wouldn't let anyone hurt her, fabricating an excuse other than the truth had become impossible.

Often he had started to address the topic only to back off before his questions had a chance to truly form. Now, as he stood hopelessly by as Emma resumed her pacing he had the chance. The door was open. His feet felt weighted with lead.

"About him," he offered keeping both of them on the right track. "What happens?"

She glanced up briefly her eyes frantic, ashamed and pleading. "You don't come."

With that one admission, the unspoken implication no one needed to voice his feet were no longer weighted and he was across the room in seconds gathering Emma into his arms, holding her close, one hand tangled in her hair keeping her head tucked just under his chin.

"That didn't happen Emma." He spoke softly into the steam-filled air reaching with one hand to turn the water off. "I don't know what to say." He confessed cursing the tears that were starting to fall. "I can't tell you not to think that way. Not when I can't stop myself from doing it."

Emma tore herself away leaving a heart-breaking hurt that reverberated throughout his entire being.

"I'm sorry. It's not you. I have to move." She seemed to sense his misjudgment of her action.

Will frowned momentarily abandoning the problem he had always known hadn't gone away. He asked her to sit down his concern growing when tearful eyes found his and she choked out that she wasn't sure she could. Reluctantly he acknowledged the pattern reaching for his phone.

"What are you doing?" She demanded in the middle of an about turn on the other side of the room.

"Just, "Will sighed," the pacing, it started when they upped that med. I'm just going to ask a couple questions."

"It's four in the morning. No one will be there." She circled around him once before restarting her path.

"There's an emergency number." He told her holding his breath.

"Who's crazy? My psychopharmacologist and I." Emma sang the show tune lyrics they had laughed at two days prior with a bitter edge.

"This isn't you Emma." If you were in control right now you would be able to sit down." He pointed out, motioning to the toilet.

"I can sit down!" She retorted, obviously desperate for him to put his phone away.

"Then sit Em. He said, his voice laced with unconcealed sympathy. "If you can sit still for one minute I won't call."

He wanted to look away from the conflict he saw in her eyes, the determination that kept it company. Both undermined in less than ten seconds as she jumped up from the toilet she had barely sat on and raced out of the bathroom with a frustrated groan.

It was less than two seconds before she flew past the open door again asking herself why she couldn't stop, answering that she hoped it was the meds fucking her up. Will grimaced at her harsh word choice hitting send on the number already pulled up.

"Rivergroves on call Psychiatrist Cheryl Jensen, how may I help you?" The concerned female answered quicker than he had expected driving home that he had no idea what to say.

Emma made herself scarce as soon as he began speaking but he could still detect her rhythmic footfalls on the kitchen floor.

"Ah yes this is Will Schuester and my fiancé Emma Pillsbury is a patient in your day program for eating disorders. A few weeks ago they increased the dosage on one of her medications." He paused.

"Risperdal, " Emma yelled from the kitchen. "One milligram to two."

Will wasn't sure whether to be grateful she was eavesdropping or embarrassed as he repeated her words into the phone.

"What's the problem?" Cheryl inquired politely.

"She can't stop pacing. It started a few weeks ago but, "Will silently apologized to Emma, "she has pretty severe OCD and I just thought it was a returning symptom. She really can't stop." He emphasized again.

The line was quiet for a moment and Will held his breath hoping the woman would be able to tell him what to do. He had enough to tackle with her right now with the Gates issue both of them had been skating around. Up until now he hadn't realized just how badly they avoided serious topics until they were so out of proportion they could no longer be ignored.

Will listened as Dr. Jensen told him that it sounded like the Risperdal was reacting with some of her other meds and causing something known as Akithesia or an inner restlessness that was impossible to ignore without sedation. He was supposed to make sure she didn't take any more of the med. Apparently Akithesia was a fairly common side-effect and Will wasn't sure if he was comforted or not by Dr. Jensen's admission that she was surprised Emma hadn't developed it sooner. It would take a day for it to get out of her system and Will insisted they could handle it that she didn't need any form of tranquilizer. The doctor advised keeping her home from the day program saying she knew first hand that meditation was the topic for much of the therapy sessions and that they didn't want to make Emma any more uncomfortable than she probably already was.

When Dr. Jensen informed him that suicidal ideation tended to increase in these situations he got slightly nervous and decided he was definitely calling into work. On a whim he asked if what had happened earlier where she had dissociated could be related to her brain firing so fast carefully leaving out exactly what the subject matter was. He was both relieved and worried he was told that it was more than possible. Before she hung she reminded him again to not leave her alone for long assuring pointlessly that he didn't have anything to be concerned. Like hell he didn't. He nodded silently the sudden absence of background noise reminding him that he was completely unsure how to tell Emma any of what he had just learned.

She appeared in the doorway before he could formulate his thoughts her eyes questioning and pensive.

"Akithesia," the word felt awkward on his tongue," inner restlessness. She thinks two of your meds are interacting badly and intensifying what is normally a minor side-effect."

"Synergistic Effect, when one plus one equals three," Emma mumbled with a realization Will didn't share her detached tone showing she was reciting something she had learned in a class.

"She wants you to stop taking it and," Will took a breath, "also suggested staying home today. It will take a day for this to go away."

"I couldn't pace at Rivergroves?" Emma, asked already beginning to pace.

"She didn't want to make you uncomfortable and honestly I agree with her Em. Besides, the prevailing theme for the day is meditation and I know how much you love that."

Emma wrinkled her nose, "Yuck and I think she meant she doesn't want the other patients to peg me as one fry short of a Happy Meal."

"Maybe." He spoke to himself contemplating the unintentional irony in her analogy Emma having already taken off down the hall.

Will turned studying his reflection in the mirror wondering how one morning, the morning after he had spontaneously proposed to the woman who meant everything to him could have gone so wrong. Looking down he noticed her ring probably taken off for the shower her mind hadn't allowed her. Gently he pocketed it and headed into the hall his mind refusing to fixate on any other than how Emma had thought he was Gates.

Side-effect of a chemical reaction or not, for better or worse he wanted to discuss her reaction with her in private before they involved someone else. Either way he was going to be bringing it up to Dan or Dr. Wicker for no other reason than to gain some insight on the shame and anger he had that at times was so strong he could almost believe he hadn't gotten there on time.

Emma's POV

It was noon and she still didn't whether to laugh or cry. Her emotions were just as sporadic as her movements but unlike her pacing that covered the same ground with every swipe they were all over the place. The medicine that was supposed to be leveling her out was proving it could accomplish just the opposite to exacting standards.

It had plagued her through breakfast forcing Will to make something she could carry back and forth across the living room. The same had happened with lunch. Ironically she hadn't had the energy to care that Will had positioned himself where he could see her and called the dog over to him.

She hadn't sat down since he had asked her to eight hours earlier. Her legs screamed in protest with the repeated motions but for those eight hours she had only successfully stood still for seconds at a time. Finally she had stopped trying that, the pain only worse when she inevitably started moving again.

Will had tried a few things to see if they would help. They had attempted a game of Scrabble under his reasoning that maybe something cognitively challenging would help. When that hadn't worked he had given her some freshly laundered clothes to carry to the bedroom joking that if she was pacing anyways she could pace productively. That was when she had learned that she only took twelve steps before turning around, too short a distance for the task. They had both given up after that. So far she hadn't gotten any form of a break. She had abandoned the idea of going to the bathroom after the third unsuccessful try.

He was now sitting on the floor by the couch working with Moritz on Leave It placing a treat on the carpet then covering it with his hand. When Moritz stopped trying to nudge his way to the food Will would praise him and produce a different treat from his mouth. On one of her walk-through's she had commented on how disgusting that was and asked why he didn't simply hide the treat in his other hand. He had explained that if he did that Moritz would learn to look to his hand instead of his face when he heard the command. He had gone on to say that he could wait for the dog to look at him but that he didn't feel like adding the extra step. Emma would have added ten extra steps if it meant she could bypass putting dog food in her mouth.

"I have an idea." Will told her as she breezed past for the hundredth time. "We have to go outside though."

"Will, people will see me."

"Trust me." He smiled grabbing Moritz' leash and clipping it to his collar. "They won't think anything of your pacing if this works."

Will's POV

"Okay hold the leash in your left hand." Will walked alongside Emma giving instructions that normally he would have stood still to impart."Then you are going to start walking with him. When he starts to pull do an about turn and come back the other direction and make sure to give him a treat every time he happens to be in the heel position on your left."

"What exactly is heel position?" Emma asked struggling with holding the treats and a leash in the same hand.

"When he is even with your knee and don't say the command right away. He has to learn the behavior first." Will reminded excited that Emma was actually open to working with the dog. "You know if you are having problems with those treats you could always put them in your mouth." He teased jogging a bit to keep up with her as they made their way down the street.

"No." Emma declared. "Absolutely not. Nothing could make me do that. It's disgusting."

"Not even a kiss?" He offered with a wink.

"Definitely not a kiss, I saw you put that food in your mouth." Emma laughed at his pout.

"What if I want a kiss?" He pressed enjoying their banter in light of everything that had been so serious about the day.

"Then I would tell you to go brush your teeth."

Emma made an abrupt about turn as Moritz started to pull in the direction of a squirrel. Will praised the dog when she forgot but didn't stop his quest for a kiss, determined now.

"I think it would be good exposure therapy training. Come on, one little close-mouthed kiss. You can even keep walking." He increased his strides again to keep up.

"That would be a feat." Emma responded tossing Moritz a treat.

"That sounded like a challenge."He spoke playfully waving at a neighbor and their embarrassment over their out of control dog.

Without warning he jumped in front of Emma and the dog placing his hands on her shoulders to halt her forward motion leaning in to place a kiss against her lips ignoring her squeal of shock. To his surprise Emma deepened the kiss for a second then pushed past him with a frustrated groan calling out that she was sorry.

Will jogged up beside her, "Thank you for the kiss." He said professionally producing the ring he had been meaning to give to her for most the day.

"How did I forget about that?" Emma questioned with concern relaxing somewhat when he told her it was fine, that she had a lot on her mind. She murmured a quick thank you before starting forward again. This time Will didn't follow.

Despite what Cheryl had said Emma had been in a pretty decent mood the entire day. A much better sport than he would be if a medicine was making it impossible for him to stop pacing. She had attempted to describe how it felt saying that it was almost like a miniature panic attack without the heavy breathing if she didn't start moving. She had said it was like that feeling when you think about getting up to do something and your body tenses but you don't move. Her body was tense all the time and she couldn't ignore the urge to try and get rid of it through some form of mobility.

So far working with the dog seemed to be helping. She was still able to pace and turn around again at a semi-regular time and she was doing him a favor as well. He hated teaching heel, found it tedious and frustrating. If there was one thing he Will wished a dog had innate knowledge of it was the command to heel.

In a way the diligence mastering the command required reminded him of the diligence Emma had to put forth to recover. One walk without heeling would be all it took to dash the progress he had made with Moritz until the dog knew what he was doing. Every time they went on a walk after that the dog would try to pull relying on the prior experience of it working once.

One skipped meal had the power to trample all of Emma's progress. She had talked about that before, about how the desire to just skip a meal was so strong but that if she did she knew it would just lead to skipping the next. He hated watching her struggle with eating, not having found a happy medium yet between eating fast and taking her time. The worst part to him had been her explanation over lunch about her inability to interpret hunger cues the same way. His were so simple. When he was hungry he ate, when he was full he stopped. Not once in his entire life had the feeling of his stomach growling brought any form of satisfaction or euphoria the way it did her. Humans, like animals, sought out what made them feel good. He couldn't imagine the hell it must be to take a feeling of discomfort that evolutionarily all living things were predisposed to take as a signal to partake in a life-saving activity and have it be comparable to the exhileration he felt when listening to a particularly good song.

They had talked briefly while she had paced throughout the apartment about his discovery that she had fed Moritz the night before. Will had been careful to sit on the edge of the couch so he could see her deciding finally that just calling the dog over to him was the easiest. It was embarrassing and he felt like a parent rubbing their child's misdeeds in their face as the dog had trotted over completely unaware of his role in everything.

Sometimes he felt like their relationship was horribly unbalanced, that he was playing the part of a parent instead of a significant other. Her disorder left her virtually incapable of taking care of herself and while he didn't mind stepping in he was anxious for the time when he wouldn't have to or if he did it could be from a far. That was something he had discussed with Dan who had assured him that at someday they would get to that point. Everything was hinged on the hope of a someday. Someday she would be recovered. Someday they would get married. Someday they might have children. While their life together rested on the shoulders of that day, that day revolved around the eating disorder. To Will, that was insurmountable evidence to just how debilitating this disease was to not only the sufferer but those around them. It had the power to derail her life and leave theirs as a couple at an almost complete stand-still all at once.

The feeling of a dog leash coming to rest in his hand jolted Will out of his thoughts and he watched with curiosity as Emma answered her phone, a large grin breaking out across her face as she excitedly told someone congratulations and headed for the apartment.

"Good dog" Will said distractedly as he followed her into the building.

Emma's POV

Emma could barely stop pacing long enough to look at the digital images of her pregnant friend filling the monitor. Instinctively her hand went to her stomach as she half-listened to horror stories about swollen ankles and raging hormones caught up more in how her bloated belly looked like the pregnant one she was staring at.

It was a given that she would bloat her body having gone so long without regular food and truthfully she didn't know whether she could trust her judgment about how she looked compared to her friend or not.

Lightly she traced the outline of her stomach taken off guard when the voice on the other end suddenly started questioning her.

"Well, Emmy how have you been?" Her emphasis was the same as hers had been leaving no room for misinterpretation about what the question really meant.

"I'm doing better I think. It's so hard though. Will, he's great but it's so hard." She spoke freely updating her friend on recent events not having talked with her for quite a few months. "I think I'm really getting better this time though. It feels hypocritical to say that." Emma backtracked, "and sometimes I feel like I was a bad example of someone with an eating disorder."

Stephanie's laughter filled her ear as she told her just how messed up that logic was but that she understood having felt the same way.

"So," Stephanie drew out the word," Any news on the baby front?"

"We need to talk about it." Emma said as she left behind the images that were so alluring yet frightening in favor of pacing up and down the hall. "I want to." She whispered for some reason not wanting Will to hear. "I'm afraid."

"I was too, but it was the best thing I could have done. I wasn't even completely recovered. I was weight-restored but the mindset was still there. It really helped Emmy." Emma cringed at the nick name Stephanie had picked one day and never dropped.

"Are you on birth control?"

"Yes," Emma whispered again, "I started some a couple months ago." She closed her eyes knowing where the question was leading.

"Have you-?" Stephanie trailed off suggestively.

"No, I think we are going to wait until after the wedding."

"That is so sweet! Wait, you think? Is that doubt I'm detecting?" Stephanie pounced on her uncertainty like she always did.

"I don't want to be nervous on our wedding night. I want to know what to expect. I want to feel comfortable with my body." Emma rushed to get the words out.

"Well, I'm not going to tell you what to do. Whatever you choose it will work out but I think it's adorable that you are thinking of waiting. Sometimes I wish Steve and I had done that but then again I would still be trapped." She didn't emphasize, didn't need to.

"What about after the baby is born?" Emma didn't feel the need to elaborate.

"I'm worried about that." Stephanie sobered instantly. "Worried that I will freak out about the baby weight. I don't know Emmy but right now I'm okay with not knowing. I can't know everything." Emma smiled at her friend's eternal optimism.

"I mean, I have a support group in place just in case things start go bad but I'm hoping I won't have to use them. It's been so liberating, not having to think about food every second of every day and not feeling like a tub of lard for eating a sandwich."

"I want that." Emma said softly.

"Then go get it." Stephanie declared. "Take charge of your own destiny. I love my life right now Emmy. I want the same thing for you and I know Will does too. We both just want you to be happy." She finished seriously.

They talked for a while longer about the wedding Emma hadn't been able to attend due to school and married life before Stephanie realized the time.

"Oh," Emma exclaimed just before Stephanie hung up, "remember those stupid shirts you gave me back in college? Will liked them." Emma smiled remembering his reaction to the provocative sayings.

After enduring good-natured teasing Stephanie finally hung up leaving Emma unable to focus on anything else other than how much her legs hurt from her constant walking. She tried to ignore the thoughts of how many calories she might be burning distracted by the fact that she had been standing still and completely unaware.

"Oh my God thank you." She murmured to herself relieved that although still present the urge to move seemed to be lessening considerably.

By eleven o'clock that night her pacing had stopped completely. Will was on his back next to her in bed with her hand on his chest while her head rested on his shoulder. It was a calm moment she hated to disrupt but there were things she really wanted to say to him.

It wasn't easy, opening up to him and sharing her insecurities. It made her feel even more vulnerable than if she kept them to herself. Over the course of their relationship he had been so incredibly honest with her about so many things that she felt it was the least she could do and often after she was done talking she felt better, relieved like a burden had been lifted.

She thought about Stephanie, about the life she wanted, about Will's note with the fears he hadn't been able to say out loud.

"I get scared too." Emma threaded her fingers through Will's leaving their hands resting on his chest. "Every day I feel like I'm losing myself, freely giving up the only thing that makes me a worthwhile person. A friend of mine who was Anorexic through college called me today. She's pregnant." Emma paused caught up in how strange it was to hear her voice say that word. "she had me go on facebook and look at pictures and I could think about was how my stomach looks like that right now but I don't have an excuse."

"You don't look pregnant Emma." Will assured her with a gentle squeeze to her hand.

She continued, unable to comment on something that to her was a controversial statement. She really did feel she looked like her friend.

"I asked how she was doing. That's all I had to say. She knew what I meant and she said she was surprising even herself with how good she is doing, that she knows she has to eat for the little girl inside of her." Emma lowered her voice ashamed of her feelings. "I'm so jealous of her. It's almost like I'm angry really. Jealous and angry that she is finding herself, that she's pregnant, that she has a life even though I know the true test is still coming for her."

"Emma, Will interrupted untangling his hand from hers and turning slightly so he could cup the side of her face, "don't feel you have to do this for me. I'm not leaving you. If we really want kids there are other options."

"It wouldn't be just for you." Emma covered his hand with hers. "You saved my life Will. You're helping me to get away from this and I want to be a mom." Another word that sounded odd, full of implications three letters should be able to contain.

"I just don't want to lose you." He rolled over so he was facing her "but Emma, I want a child so badly. I would be lying if I downplayed that."

Emma leaned forward searching for his mouth in the darkness initiating a kiss that was full of everything she couldn't say; assurances, fear, determination. Slowly she deepened the kiss.

Will's POV

He wanted so horribly to touch her but kept his hands at his sides her withdrawal earlier in the day still fresh in his mind.

"I know you won't hurt me." She spoke softly placing his hand on her hip.

"This morning," he protested as her lips found his again. "We need to talk."

"I don't want to talk right now." Will shivered as her hands tentatively raised the hem of his shirt sliding slowly across his stomach.

"Emma, Emma. Stop." He grabbed her hands trapping them both in one of his. "I'm not comfortable doing this until we talk. I need to know what triggered all that in the bathroom. I know some of it was the meds but was it me? Was any of it me?"

He almost didn't catch her quiet whisper to please not call her baby, that every time she heard the term all she could think of was him. He hadn't even been aware he had said it. Generally speaking he didn't thanks to his own bad connotations with Terri. It never seemed to fit Emma.

"It's not your fault." She said before he could apologize. "None of this is." The way her voice trailed off left no room for his imagination.

"It's not yours either Emma."

She snorted.

"I told him I had a crush on him and I should have known what was going on with those emails."

"No one understands the world at fifteen and the crush, that was natural. He was showing an interest in you. Emma," he began slowly, "please answer me honestly. Do you ever feel afraid of me when we are intimate?" He closed his eyes bracing for the worst.

"I know you wouldn't hurt me." She replied again as if that answered his question.

Will pushed at her shoulder lightly coaxing her onto her back then onto her side so that her back was to him and wrapped his arms around her torso bringing her in close.

"Do you ever feel afraid?" He repeated hoping their different position would make it easier for her to open up. He would have a hard time talking about something like this facing someone even if he couldn't see them. It was too personal.

"I'm afraid of how you will react to my body." Her voice cracked as her body shook slightly, "This morning, this morning I was afraid of you. I thought you were him. All I could feel when you tried to touch me was his hands on my body." Emma took a deep breath. "Can we talk about something else?"

"No, this is important Emma. We can't avoid it." He felt horrible for forcing her to talk but if he let it drop it would only become harder to discuss. "Promise me that if you ever are scared by anything I do that you will tell me. I won't be offended. I won't think of you differently. Just promise me."

"I promise." She whispered reaching back to grab one of his hands and wrap it in her own.

"We're not done with this." He both gave in and apologized for her emotional distress with a gentle kiss to the back of her neck holding her tighter as he rested his forehead against the place his mouth had just left.

She started talking about the wedding. They both agreed to wait until after Rivergroves to start planning. Her simple confession that she wanted to eat a piece of wedding cake without it being anything more than a piece of cake left him contemplating everything they had been through.

They were doing this, working towards a life together without her eating disorder. She was in treatment. They were getting married. She wanted a child. They both wanted a child.

He didn't know how she was so strong, sabotaging something that was a part of herself every day for a chance at the life it denied her. Recently she had taken steps backward but she hadn't given up. After listening to everything she went through just to maintain the ground she already had Will wasn't sure how she ever managed to move forwards. In the end she was more determined than she knew and he wished he could show her that.

He couldn't wait for the day when all of this was behind them. He was so proud of her already. Every time he put himself in her shoes he had to reluctantly admit that he didn't know if he would have held out as long as she had when around every turn there was something waiting to force her to start over.

Delicately Will placed another kiss where the first one had been whispering his own confession into the night.

"You wouldn't believe it but you saved my life too. You got me out of a terrible marriage, helped me fi-"his voice cracked with emotion, "find my passion again. You've taught me so much and you wouldn't believe this either but the time we have spent together, I wouldn't trade that for anything."

He listened silently to the sound of her breathing taking solace in the heat of her body and the feel of her hair against his face as he closed his eyes confident in the face of the uncertainty the sunrise promised to throw at them.

A/N: Thoughts please.