Chapter 36

Anakin walked in the apartment noticing Obi Wan was laying on the couch watching TV.

"Obi Wan, for crying out loud, you still haven't changed your clothes?" Anakin shouted.

"What? It was a wild party, let me relax please," Obi Wan replied, changing the channel.

"New Years was 2 WEEKS AGO! Take a shower and shave!" Anakin commanded.

"Eh," Obi Wan said lazily, waving Anakin away.

Anakin became angry, but was distracted by the sound of a can opening. He turned and saw Han sipping a Mountain Dew.

"I prefer Dr. Pepper, but this stuff ranks right up there with the top dogs," said Han, examining the can.

"Han! How did you even get in here?" Anakin asked, startled.

"Mom says Chewy and me have to stay here while dad has his gun club, poker, AA, Anger management, Sasquatch searchers, ghost hunters, Lynyrd Skynyrd tribute band, and Ron Howard fan club meetings at our house," said Han.

"Don't you have school?" asked Anakin.

Han just shrugged and took a drink of his Mountain Dew.

The phone rang and Anakin answered. Padme was on the other end.

"Okay...Yeah...alright, bye," said Anakin, hanging up the phone, "Okay, Padme is taking Leia shopping, Luke is at football practice and Yoda," Anakin paused, "Where is Yoda?"

"Well, it's Friday. He's either at Best Buy, Pizza Hut, The Movie Theater, or the Gentlemen's club," said Obi Wan, counting off on his fingers.

"The WHAT?" Anakin shouted.

"Never mind. Forget I said anything. He's probably not even at, uh, that place," Obi Wan said.

There was a knock at the door.

"That's probably him," said Anakin. He opened the door and was a bit startled at what he saw. It was Vern, but his clothes were tattered and torn, he hadn't shaved in weeks.

"So tired… hungry…. Moose," Vern panted, then fell flat on the floor.

"Ew. He's all dirty. Padme isn't going to be happy with all that dirt on the carpet," said Obi Wan, still focusing on the TV.

Anakin helped Vern up and directed him to the shower.

"I, I'm really hungry," said Vern, being forced into the bathroom

"Shower first, then food," Anakin quickly replied, slamming the bathroom door.

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"Luke! It's a fly route! FLY!" screamed Luke's obese coach, pointing to the playbook.

"Sorry sir," said Luke, jogging back to the huddle.

Before he reached the huddle, Luke saw something familiar in the bushes outside the field. Something small and green was motioning for him to come back there.

"Uh, coach, can I get a drink of water?" asked Luke.

"Make it quick."

Luke ran to the bushes and saw Yoda, panic-stricken and shaking.

"Yoda, what's wrong?" asked Luke, trying to calm him down.

"I did something bad. REALLY BAD!" Yoda accidentally raised his voice.

"Settle down, okay? Tell me what you did," said Luke. Yoda stood on his tiptoes and whispered in Luke's ear for about two minutes. When Yoda was finished, Luke stood startled and flabbergasted.

"Wha- What were baby rabbits for?" asked Luke.

"I don't know! I was drunk, I'm just telling you what someone told me I did the other night!" Yoda explained.

"Okay, let's focus here. Was anyone killed?" asked Luke.

"I…DON'T… KNOW!" Yoda exclaimed in horror, breaking down in tears.

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Vern sat on the couch next to Obi Wan. Anakin heated up some leftovers and gave them to Vern. Obi Wan looked at Vern's plate, then looked at Anakin and whined like a puppy.

"That could be the most pathetic thing I've ever seen," said Anakin, shaking his head, "Now, Vern, are all these offers you were telling me about six months ago still on the table?"

"I doubt it, but I've had no contact with the outside world," said Vern, scooping food into his mouth.

There was a knock at the door and Anakin answered to see two cops standing in the doorway.

"Mr. Skywalker?" the cop addressed him.

"Yes, that's me."

"We need to have a talk about a resident of the household who may be in some trouble," said the other officer.

"Is this about Yoda? Because we still don't know where he is," said Anakin.

"Well, we're pretty sure we know where he was and what he was doing, more than likely under the influence of alcohol, but we really don't want to repeat it again, with it being so terrible," said the cop.

"Tell me what he did," said Anakin, staring down the cop.

The cop sighed and began, "According to our sources, Yoda…"

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Okay, I know it's been forever and a day since I updated, but I'll have to leave you hanging here. I'm going to be in Orlando, Florida for the next week, so when I get back hopefully I'll have some reviews from you guys.