A/N: Eek! This was a difficult chapter to write, mostly because my desktop stopped being usable for a while and I had to switch to a barely functioning laptop, and then switch back. Somehow in the switch back, the spellchecker broke? So there's no way to spellcheck this chapter. I reread it and did my best to fix errors, but if this chapter has more errors than usual, that's why.

Also being in character was unusually difficult this chapter, but I think it turns out okay. I just want everyone to be prepared for that. There's just been so much behind-the-scenes character development that it's hard to show it now without it being too jarring.

Please also keep in mind that NaNoWriMo is starting soon, and I'll be focusing on that next month (as well as a trip across the country to go to my best friend's wedding!), so this is probably the last update until December. I predict the ending of this story to come late December or early January! Wow!

Oh, and thank you to keladryoftortal/hp-picspams of Tumblr for the quote idea!

Okay, okay. Enough words. Go read and enjoy!

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul. – Pablo Neruda

Ginevra –

We have to talk about what happened. Please, you can't ignore me forever.

- Dante

Ginny crushed the note and threw it into the fireplace, the fourth one that week. It had only been a fortnight, yet Tom had managed to send her an owl nearly every day, asking to see her so that they could talk about 'what happened'. She flat-out refused to see Tom again, perhaps ever, so it was really only a waste of parchment. She wouldn't waste any more by replying. She also wouldn't waste either of their time in discussing the issue; she wanted nothing to do with what had happened that night, or with him, or with whatever attraction she might have.

Those feelings were dangerous. She couldn't risk indulging in them. Tom may be reformed, but he was still the monster that had held her captive, that had planned genocide, that had tortured and killed. Let someone who didn't know his history fall for his charm. She couldn't. She couldn't know what he was capable of – or had been capable of – or what he'd done and pretend it didn't matter.

Tom was capable of empathy now, capable of love and kindness and all those things normal human beings were capable of. That was wonderful for him and those who had to interact with him. But that didn't mean she had to forgive him and just move on from his abuse. She owed Tom Riddle nothing. She certainly wouldn't give him something as valuable as her time.

And so it was surprise when one day she arrived home from a day of window shopping Muggle shops and treating herself to a new copy of Quidditch Quarterly from Diagon Alley and a scoop of chocolate chip from Florean Fortescue's, only to find the one person she wanted to avoid sitting in her favorite chair, a mug of coffee in his hands.

She stared wide-eyed for a moment, before closing the door behind her and dropping her keys and magazine on the table by the door. "Luna?!" she shouted.

"She let me in as she went out," explained Tom, setting the mug aside and standing. "She was hesitant, but I convinced her you asked me to bring you back your jumper."

Ginny noticed the grey jumper folded on the back of the sofa, and felt her cheeks flush pink. She'd forgotten all about the jumper until that moment – the jumper that had been left on the floor of Tom's flat, after he had unbuttoned it and slipped it off her body, dropping it to the floor as she…

Ginny cleared her throat, stepped forward and picked up the jumper, holding it across her chest almost like a shield. "Well, thank you," she muttered. "But you didn't have to stay to make sure I got it. You can go now."

"Gin-"

"I don't want to talk to you!" insisted Ginny, walking around the sofa, ready to head to her room and close and lock her door, and then stand guard with her wand in case he tried to magic his way in. "I'd have thought all those letters without replies would have implied that I didn't want to see you. I should have been a bit more obvious – but wait, I have, I have told you time and again to leave me alone. I even made you promise!"

Tom smirked. "A promise I did not make, if you'll recall."

Fuming, Ginny threw her jumper at Tom's face, but was disappointed when he caught it before it could hit him. "You insensitive, bloody git!" she exclaimed. "You knew what I wanted, and yet again you completely ignored it so that you could get what you wanted. I hate it, I hate how selfish you are. I need you to leave me alone, Tom! What do I have to do to prove it to you?!"

Tom tossed her jumper onto the back of his chair, and then held his hands up defensively. "I just need to talk to you, Ginvera. One more time. And then I promise, if you want me to go away, I will. After what happened – after what happened – I see what my presence in your life does to you. I only want to say a few things to you, and then I will leave and I will not come back again. I swear to you, Ginevra, on whatever you want me to swear by."

Ginny held her breath as she stared at him. "Are you telling the truth this time? You've already told me before that you were going to let me go, that you were going to let me live my life without your influence, and you lied."

"Shall I make an Unbreakable Vow, then? Would that prove it to you?"

Stunned, Ginny could only stare at Tom wordlessly for a moment, but finally she shook her head. "No. No, you don't – you don't have to do that. It's going…a little far. But if you do come back-"

Tom nodded. "I'll make the Vow then, so you can be assured I won't approach you again after that."

"Okay," sighed Ginny. She headed towards the sofa, and took a seat, placing her hands on her knees. "Okay. What is it that you want to talk about, then? I can't imagine there's anything left to say about – about what happened."

Tom frowned, and took a seat across from her. He was silent, staring down at his shining black shoes as he seemed to attempt to gather his thoughts. He took a slow, deep breath and looked up at her, swallowed once, and then spoke. "I want us to speak completely openly in this moment; I will not hide anything from you, I will not be cryptic. I will speak as plainly as I can. And with that in mind, I wanted to say…that…" It was a rare, odd vision, seeing Tom at a loss for words. He kept her gaze, and his expression was uncertain. Ginny's heart raced. "That I understand, Ginvera, if you are…attracted to me." Ginny scoffed, but Tom held a hand up to silence her. "No, let me finish. It is obvious that there is a physical attraction between us, and that comes down to what the Muggles would call 'chemistry', an interaction between us that neither of us can control or fully understand. I feel it, too. We are drawn to each other on the most basic level, and that is why it was so hard for us to resist each other that night. I understand if you are attracted to me, Ginevra – I understand if you are attracted, but you still won't love me."

Ginny frowned in confusion, her brow wrinkling at the motion. She wasn't quite sure what it was Tom was saying. Furthermore, she wasn't sure why he thought she needed his understanding. She needed nothing from him. Nothing.

The edges of Tom's mouth turned up a little. "I now understand the difference between physical and romantic attraction. I used to believe that if you showed the slightest bit of reception to my physical advances, it meant you were falling for me. But of course that isn't true. Your attraction had nothing to do with your emotions, with your heart. It was an involuntary reaction, something you have no control over and that you shouldn't be ashamed of. I know that if you had the choice, you would feel nothing for me and…and would forget me entirely."

Ginny's frown deepend as her confusion did. "What do you mean? What – you didn't think physical and emotional attraction were separate things before? You thought you couldn't have one without the other? Than what was all that at the shack? Did you feel nothing at all? Did you really only read it all out of a book?"

Tom sighed, rubbing his hands together as he considered his next words. He entwined his fingers and pursed his lips before saying, "No, that's not…not quite true. Because love and physical attraction are two different things, I felt the physical attraction. I imagined – naïve as I was – that the reason I felt it and nothing else was because I was incapable of love. I thought I had found a way…" his voice drifted as he paused, trying to find a clear way of explaining how he'd felt. "I believed I was as in love with you as I was capable of being, and that my inability to love simply blocked the other half of the feeling." Now he smiled faintly. "How could I not find you nearly irresistable?"

Ginny felt something inside her squirm a little, and she shifted in her seat in reaction to it. His ability to be so open was surprising; wasn't being cryptic in his nature? Somehow she now longed for the days when she didn't understand half of what he said. It made her feel much more at ease than this honesty. "Okay," she sighed, slowly exhaling the word. "So you were attracted. Great." She pulled her feet up so she could sit cross-legged on the couch. "You were attracted, you are attracted, you're bloody in love with me or something, and I'm attracted but not in love. Was that what you wanted to say? Is that why you hounded me?"

Tom shook his head gently. "No. That's not all of it," he said, leaning forward in the chair. "I also wanted to say that…" here his voice failed. He took another breath and tried again as Ginny stared with wide eyes at Tom's pained expression and shaking hands. "That I understand if there is nothing about me you find…lovable. You know too much about me. You know who I once was, the evils I committed against others and against you. I abducted you, abused you and practically left you for dead. And though I think – I hope – that now you know that I am changed, that I am a different person than I was before, that those evils were not committed by me, but rather by a monster with no conscience that essentially possessed me…"

He stopped, closing his eyes tight and taking a few deep breaths. Ginny was fascinated by this vision of Tom Riddle showing emotional vulnerbility, something she never imagined she would witness. She heard him exhale roughly, and then inhale slowly as she stared. What was this? She had seen so many different versions of Tom Riddle before – Tom seductive, Tom comforting, Tom cruel, Tom manipulative, Tom murderous, Tom supportive – but never this. Never Tom naked like this, willingly showing weakness. He was only ever composed, even when wildly angry, even when he seemed like he was dying. He didn't hesitate, he didn't search for words, he didn't hide his face. But Tom Riddle sat across from her showing his weakness and Ginny felt something had changed. There was an odd feeling in her chest and she felt as though some wave was about to crash over her head.

Tom looked up at her again. "I know it is likely impossible for you to be willing to love me, and I understand why. I understand that the very sight of me fills you with dread and anxiety and all forms of dark, painful things. This doesn't change how I feel for you. I don't need your love in return, Ginevra, I never really did. Your inability to return my feelings does nothing to alter them. I will go on loving you, Ginevra, for as long as I live. Possibly forever, should I continue on in ghostly form. There is nothing that will ever take this devotion from me, and no one will ever take your place. Perhaps one day I will find a place in my heart for another woman – years and years from now, when I have grown tired of admiring you from afar – but there will always be that piece of me that loves you. It will never fade. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I owe you only the truth. I honestly love you, every part of you. If I could heal the wounds I gave you I would, at any price. But it's impossible to go back and change that, and it's impossible to fix everything between us. So, simply: I love you, and I know you won't love me, but I will go on loving you. Even though truly loving you means giving you the space away from me that you need."

Finally, Tom stood, his eyes looking into hers. It took her a moment to realize that the reason he was blurry was because she had tears in her eyes. It took her another moment to realize that he did, too. "I will keep my promise this time," he said softly, his hands sinking into his pockets. She could still see them trembling. "I know it's what you need from me the most. And I am trying to be a better man. I hope you remember things about me, other than my cruelty. I have tried to love you the best I know how."

It was true, wasn't it? Even when Tom was incapable of loving her and had showed her kindness for selfish reasons, he had tried. She could swear that the night Harry died he had comforted her with no agenda. She could recall his soft voice, his arms firm around her, his tender touches. He had no need to do any of that. He had no need to bring Harry's body back. Tom could have left Harry to rot and Ginny to die of grief, but he didn't. And that was before he was capable of empathy.

Tom had done other things while still 'cursed'. He had given her a Christmas, complete with sentimental gifts from her childhood home. As a voice in her head he had been her only companion so many nights. Though he had isolated her and been the cause of nearly all her pain, she still remembered the night he had lulled her to sleep with the words of the Lady of Shalott, again without any selfish cause she could think of.

There was more, after his soul had reunited. These were actions she could give more weight, as they were less likely to have some secret nefarious motivation she couldn't figure out. He had saved Luna, had even carried her away from the park. He had taken the time to talk to her about the damage he'd done, and had admitted his guilt, had even gotten on his knees to confess his sins. He let her rage at him afterward. And though he hadn't respected her wish to be left alone, still every time she'd seen him there had been some reason for it. He had recommended her to her favorite Quidditch team – it was thanks to him that Gwenog Jones had hired her. He had helped her through her panic attack (that he had caused!), and now he was here declaring his undying love for her and willingness to leave her alone forever because that was what she wanted.

As the two sides of her battled, Tom watched Ginny's face for every small change in her expression. Finally, Ginny bit her lip and admitted, "I don't know what to say."

Nodding, Tom said, "I understand. There is nothing that you could reasonably say. All I ask for is 'goodbye'." The word made Ginny's head hurt.

"No," sighed Ginny, standing now though she was already feeling dizzy. "I mean…I don't know what I'm feeling. I'm…confused. And honestly, scared."

'Goodbye' was the last word she wanted to say in that moment. There was some strange longing below the surface of her skin. A heat filled her chest, different from the burning heat from that night. It was less a blazing inferno and more a candle flame. Gentle, warm, small, but unmistakably there.

She didn't want this to be the last time she saw Tom's face. As unnerved as it made her, there was a part of her that felt more than merely physical attraction to Tom. She must be crazier than she'd been in St. Mungo's to feel this way, but there was no way to pretend that it wasn't there. Ginny felt something for Tom beyond basic lust. It had snuck up on her between outbursts of hatred, and though she could think of no real reason to feel anything for Tom but distrust, those feelings were there regardless. She wasn't sure when those feelings had appeared at first, but the more she thought, the more she realized that the potential for them had always been there, since her first year at Hogwarts when Tom was her most trusted friend. His betrayal had done nothing to erase that potential, and then it had bloomed from potential to reality…when? That night. Not the part of the night that took place in the flat, but the part that had taken place on the street. The moment he had pressed her hand to his chest to help her breathe. That was the moment these feelings invaded her.

Ginny had to shake her head to clear her mind of those thoughts. They were dangerous. They were insane. She couldn't indulge in them. "I don't…I can't feel anything for you, Tom. Not just because of the reasons you mentioned. I can't love you because the idea of it terrifies me to my core." Her voice softened considerably as she went on to explain. "You lived inside me, drove me mad, abducted me, abused me, all of that, and yes, it left wounds. But the greatest of those wounds is because of your motive. You did it all in the name of forcing me to love you, in order to gain power. I am still afraid that any time a man shows me any sign of attraction, it's because he wants something more from me. I can't get that fear out of my head, no matter who it is. But it's doubly true when it comes to you."

Ginny could see the movement of Tom's Adam's apple as he swallowed hard, listening to her words. He nodded, showing he heard what she was saying, but he didn't speak, allowing her to continue uninterrupted.

"I can't fall in love with you, for so many reasons, but mostly because it was what you were after when you held me hostage. I can't give in now, after all my effort in fighting you, after all this time. I can't risk – I can't risk that all of this has just been another trick to make me love you. I can't give you the power you craved for so long. I can't," finished Ginny, her voice tight as she fought tears. The very idea of giving Tom that power he'd been so desperate for made her chest tight with fear. Whether he was changed or not, there was a part of her that would always be afraid of giving in.

Tom took two steps forward so he could reach out and hold Ginny's shoulder. She instinctively tries to shrug him off, but his grip was insistent. He led her a few steps back and gently guided her to sit on the couch, and he took the seat beside her. "Those are very relevant concerns." His voice was gentle, but somber. "You would, of course, wind up with some form of post-traumatic stress disorder – a disorder named by Muggles. It's undeniable that I traumatized you, as did Hades. I would be surprised if you didn't experience some form of flashbacks, nightmares, emotional distress. I know you avoid me because I remind me you of everything you went through. That said…" Tom paused for a moment, before he gave her a small smile. "I swear to you, I have no interest in ruling the world anymore, or any portion of it. What would be the point? It would be time-consuming and exhausting…and if I had your love, I would have no interest in being taken from your side so often. No, I would much rather live a smaller life. I've had the great and terrible life already, I've been powerful and controlling and infamous. I want to experience the simpler life now, the house and the family and the job I both love and can use to make smaller changes, the changes in people that will truly be lasting. As I've said before, that is true immortality. And that is all I want now."

Ginny half-laughed, though there was no real mirth in it. "You understand why that's difficult to believe. It sounds a little ridiculous, considering."

Tom nodded. "I know. But take a moment to think on it, and you'll see that it makes perfect sense. I always wanted immortality, and the thought of me living on in other people is certianly an idea you're familiar with. I can live forever in the way I change the people who read my books, in the acts I inspire, and eventually in the children that I raise. If I alter people for the better, than I live forever in them, and in the people that they alter. And…and if I change others, if I make them good, perhaps I can use that as another way to repent for the evil I once was, for the wicked I still am." He paused a moment, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose between his eyes as though he had a headache. But the trembling of his lips and the wrinkles in his forehead told Ginny that he was trying to control some outburst of emotion. Again, the look was odd, almost out of place on Tom's face. But she was beginning to grow used to the cracks in his cold façade, the betrayal of true emotion that broke through now and then.

With a deep breath, Tom lowered his hand and looked her in the eyes again. "I want to experience something new, now. I've never had a simple, peaceful existence, and to be frank I am throughly exhausted from the constant battle for power, for control, for fame, for immortality. I am done fighting the world. I'd rather use that energy going down roads that will lead me to something other than a brick wall."

Ginny folded her arms across her chest as she thought over what he'd said. It was true, it made some sense. It made more sense than building an army and attempting to exterminate Mugglekind and using Dark magic to gain immortaility. She just wasn't used to that sort of logical thinking from Tom. Tom always seemed to think of the more dramatic, twisted path.

Tom seemed to notice her skeptical expression, but instead of looking defeated, his eyes lit up. "Let me prove it to you."

"How? How could you possibly do that?" asked Ginny.

Tom smiled. "Give me one date. Just one."

"You're asking me out on a date? Are you kidding?" demanded Ginny, her eyes growing wide.

"Not even remotely," responded Tom. He seemed almost excited now, his body buzzing with energy. "Just give me one chance. Let me try. I think I can prove to you that I am a different man now than I once was."

"You're not, though," insisted Ginny. "Not really, not entirely. You still completely disregard my requests, you don't really respect me, you still-"

"I am not perfect," admitted Tom. "I could not even consider myself a good man yet: I still manipulate, I still crave immortality, I am still fascinated by Dark magic and I spend far too much time imagining what I could do with a properly loyal Elder Wand. I continue to do whatever it takes to get what I want. Power will always tempt me, as will prestige. But I am not controlled by these things any longer. Though I am still a dark thing, I am trying to change, I am trying to become a good man, to be worthy of a witch like you."

Ginny's lips pursed as she listened to Tom and considered his words, and then she opened her mouth to speak, but Tom held a finger up to signify that he wasn't finished yet. "And though I understand why you won't allow yourself to love me, I want to prove to you that it is indeed won't and not can't. I do believe you could love me, if given the chance. I know that frightens you, but remember that it has always been true. There was always a part of you that was attracted to dark things, wasn't there? You couldn't show that side of you to anyone but me. I know it existed, and that night proved to me that it does continue to exist despite your best efforts to pretend otherwise. You are attracted to dark things, but you only love the good. I am both, Ginevra. Let me show you. Grant me one date to show you."

Ginny drew in a slow, deep breath, feeling every part of herself trembling, from her hands to the inside of her chest to her very heart. Her mind was churning like mad rapids in a river, tossing her to and fro. She knew she ought to say no, she knew this deep in her soul. Tom was dangerous, especially to her. Just looking at Tom returned her to feelings of being trapped and helpless. She and Tom were a poor combination. He would only hurt her and betray her. He was responsible for countless horrors.

But she could still hear Luna's words in her mind. He wasn't really Tom Riddle anymore. He had chosen to become Dante Wickham, a man who fought against his inner darker nature to be good and generous and compassionate. His hopeful eyes were locked on her and her heart raced, and this reaction made it all the more difficult to turn him down. On the most basic level, Ginny wanted Tom. And his desire for her made her want him all the more; it was wonderful to feel wanted that way again, to have someone who wanted to be with her and listen to her and understand her.

Tom understood her more than anyone else. He alone knew what she went through when Harry died. He alone knew what she went through while she was abducted, because he was the one that had done it. He alone saw into her soul and recognized that though, yes, her great sin was that she was attracted to dark things, she was still a good person who only really wanted good things. He alone understood her intricacies. He alone knew what to say to her at any moment, how to comfort her, how to ignite her independence, how to distract her from her own thoughts.

Yes, she had once hated him so fiercely it had nearly choked her, but there had always been a part of her that had been attracted to him. And again she remembered that he knew so many of her deepest secrets because he had been her one real friend in her first year at Hogwarts.

He'd been her one friend because he was manipulating her. But he hadn't had a conscience then. He was trying his best to make up for the damage he had caused over the years. But…

As the rapids continued to pull her to and fro, she tried to comprehend how she could possibly be considering an offer for a date from Tom Riddle. But another look into his eyes showed her the genuine hope he had that she would accept, the genuine fear he had she would turn him down. Tom was genuine.

Ginny felt sick and her heart raced as she made the sudden decision to jump into the unknown and speak that single word that would alter their course forever.

"Okay."

Artificial: I swear that last part wasn't stolen from the Fault in Our Stars! Haha. Well, I hope you all liked it. Thank you so much to everyone who left a review, especially to those of you who have kept me in your thoughts/prayers due to my personal life problems. I appreciate it more than I can say. I've been struggling with depression off-and-on for most of my life, but this bout has been the longest, which has made writing incredibly difficult. Also uploading. This chapter was done two days ago but it took me this long to get the nerve to upload. So…whoops, went a little too off track there! I really just want to let you guys know that your reviews mean the world to me, they really do. Even if I don't personally reply (my depression makes talking to people difficult). Anyway, have a great day!